Suicide. Just..... Read.

Hydronine

The Murrstress
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No, This isn't what you think. If you're thinking that I've lost my resolve in my own life, you'd be mistaken.

*******

A dear close friend of mine took his life on Monday... it is now Saturday...

I loved him. I will be honest, I don't think I ever truly accepted the fact that he rejected me on situational basis... I moved on as best I possibly could...

He was important to me. He was a brother to me, and then some. He was a drinking buddy, he was my white knight when I needed rescuing, and my house was his safe haven. He was the only person I know who could stop me when I was rampaging mad by hugging me or kissing my forehead.

His name was Jon. His birthday was three days before mine. I wanted him to meet people from Iwaku with me when he got out of rehab.

This isn't, however, a memorial to Jon either.

This is about the act of suicide.

This is about the bonds that are broken. The pain that is wrought. The emotional disturbances.

This is about suicide and threats of it.

**********

I've helped quite a few people in my life avoid killing themselves. I've talked to even more while emotionally unbalanced and helped stabilize them. This is the first time I've actually lost someone in RL to it. And it's a big issue to me. It helped put things in an odd perspective.

1. When on a forum and feeling down or feeling like you're not getting enough attention, or if you feel the world is ending: Take a step back. Try to relax. Take deep breaths. We're just a forum. We can't dabble in this all that much because of legalities and blame if shit hits the fan. It's not to be mean, it's logical.

2. When truly upset, do NOT grab for drugs, alcohol, or anything else that might alter your moods or influence your mental state. It won't help, and it has the possibility of tilting your mind towards an option you would never choose if not for those items.

3. Take a "Mental Health Day". Relax for a bit. Get things in order. Just stay away from stressors for a while.

I love you all.
 
Oh, Julez! *Big hug* I love you so much, dear. :( And I'm so sorry to hear about your friend... We're all here for you and you've got my MSN if you want any private talky. <333
 
My condolences. Good advice as well.

I'm just going to have to leave it as that. I'm terrible with this sort of thing.
 
My sympathies mate, you know where to get ahold of me if you need to chat.
and while we're on this topic, if I may i'd like to share something as someone who has in the past tried to kill themself, say this;

Its never worth it my freinds, the pain you think you have evaded is not gone, merely spread itself to your freinds and family, whether or not you think they care.
 
If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane.
I would walk up to heaven
And bring you back again.
No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say goodbye,
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness,
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know.

- Anonymous


It's a little thing me dad has posted upon the wall...

Cha' have my condolences as well...

Same as WMD, iffin' cha' need someone to talk to, go ahead and gimmie a buzz if you see me online.
 
Tikay, you know I love you and have you any need of me you know how to reach me. I'll send all my happy thoughts to you and I really wish you feel better soon.
 
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Trancey. You did what you could, and you were there to help your friend - beyond that, the choices people make are often outside our control... Sorry for your loss, and I hope you, your friend's family and friends are able to find peace after this. Much love.
 
Thank you all...

I appreciate what has been said, and I am grateful for this awesome forum filled with awesome people. I'm getting through this.
 
I know how you feel TK, and I extend the same offer everyone else has. If you need a friendly ear, I'll listen.