Sticky Situations: Funny Stories of Misadventures

[LogicfromLogic]

So, I have had many misadventures in my life, but honestly I think that last night (5-11 PM 1/31/15) was one of the best ones.

So, I had to serve some papers to this bloke in Idaho. But it actually wasn't in Idaho and we were in a no chain or snow appropriate car driving up a mountain side somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Well, just as we get to the top of this snow packed road, we go to turn around and...stuck. We get stuck. for at least an hour ,my brother and I are pushing as hard as we can on the back, rocking the car and trying to dig out the tires, pushing from the front...just everything. We got it a whole inch before I actually ended up nearly falling under the moving tire of the poor car before we all realized that this was a lost cause. we had to call a tow truck, but the phone reception was total crap. There were no houses nearby, and no food or a way to make a fire for camp if we had to, though two of us know survival skills (I studied it through out high school and was an honours student so yeah). Well, we finally get a hold of Geico, who get hold of the towing company after spending a choppy half hour on hold, losing reception and calling back, only to find out that the tow truck got lost.

So there we sat in the car telling terrible puns, making morbidly horrid jokes, telling stories, and playing mind twisters. Hell, we even drew in the snow for a brief time. we turned music on and talked about deep things like how death takes tolls on you but teaches, the world news, just basically some pretty philosophical things. We had been stranded out in the wilderness (I shit you not, we were in the middle of nowhere on a back road usually just used by seasonal residents, it was obvious it hadn't been used but it was too late by the time we got up there to fully realize it because the snow was pack along the way to where you could drive) since six. A couple hours tick by, and all of us are hungry as all hell (made a few quips about eating my legs, all jokes of course), and we all had to use the restroom (they used a tree while I held it. Pays to be the son of a very snarky nurse aid). Well, it gets to being about 8:45 before the tow truck arrives driving backwards and we finally get out of the snow. We go out to eat once back in town and just mull over and end up laughing the whole thing off.

We never did get to serving those papers but damn that was a fun evening even if it was an accident.

You have any good stories to swap?

 

[Koschei]

Man, that sounded like a pain. Getting stuck in snow sucks.

Either way, something similar happened at work a couple of months ago.

Since I work in the forestry industry, I see a lot of dirt roads and roads made for the giant machinery we use. And autumn around here is usually really rainy, with occasional drops below freezing, so the ground, especially on these roads trafficked by the bigger machines, can get really muddy. And now I'm talking a foot or two of mud and water, paired with stray logs and other such bullshit. They tend to flood as well, thanks to the idiots who completely disregard our work and drive where we tell them not to drive. So much water, dead god.

Our designated driver had to turn the car around, so he found a nice spot he thought might work. Didn't look too muddy, the ground was fairly frozen and all in all it looked solid enough to handle the car. Except it wasn't. At all. He got stuck, in said mud, so to the point we had to dig up the front tires to be able to see if anything broke. This was also just around lunch, and we had been working for about five hours before that. We were hungry, wet from the rain, and really pissed off about the state of the roads we saw. It's a big deal.

We met up with a third coworker and had him help us with the car. Except there was nothing he could do on his own, and the next best solution was to trek for about an hour to the nearest village, and pray they had a truck decent enough to pull us free. And while we tried, in vain, to get the car onto solid ground, we took shots at the driver for even getting stuck in the first place.

Eventually I made an offhand remark about being in a forest with lots of spruce, and it took about ten minutes of explaining that spruce twigs would provide enough traction to back up the car. I'm still baffled none of them thought about that before me.

So, all in all it took about 40 minutes of snide remarks, angry cussing and freezing rain to push the car out of the mud and up the slope it had slipped down. The end result was me and the coworker covered in mud, while the driver was fairly dry and clean behind the wheel.

I never let the bastard live it down. He also got stuck again not long after that, and once again it was mud.

I have so many bullshit stories from work, but I think I'll save a few of them for later.