Something-or-Anothers: Tales of the Confused Adventure's Shenanigans

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They were certainly attracting a lot of attention right now, "Sir, please. I'm sorry I can't really help you. It had been known for gods to occasionally interact with their subjects. But I can't ask or make Vudall do anything. He certainly hasn't told me his plans with you two... if Vudall was the one who really done such a thing." The priest studdered at them.

"Look here, if we don't get some straight answers in a few moments, I'm going to let my friend here on you." Sage said, putting her hands on her hips as she looked at the priest.

"W-wait! There is one thing you might do! Perhaps if you do something to grab Vudalls attention! Something like a great deed! He will surely look to you!" The priest said, practically getting on his knees to seem non-threatening.

"Something to get Vudall's attention?" Sage asked, "Like..." Sage looked at the Alter, walked over to it, then high kicked it off the ledge it was sitting on. There were several gasps as the alter fell and hit the floor, the head cracking.

The priest gasped so hard, Sage was sure he was going to faint.
 
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"I've had just about enough of the bull--"
Sanz had to stop speaking when Sage kicked over the statue. That might have been a bit much, but really did they have any other option? If no one was going to tell them anything by playing nice, the best they could hope for was to stir up some trouble and see if any actual authorities arrived. Not those damn medieval guards from earlier.
"Come on Sage. I don't think we're going to get much more out of this guy."
That was when the entire temple shook once. Almost as if a tremor had struck. The jolt forced Sanz to support himself against the wall, and he had to blink a couple of times to register what had just happened.
"What. The actual fuck. Just happened?"
Another tremor shook the temple, this time forcing him down to his knees. This day was going to become even worse apparently.
 
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The trembling had Sage fall backward, hitting her butt on the floor.

"The Gods are angry!!" Someone yelled. That was when it seemed like time froze. But, when Sage looked really hard, it was just that they were moving really really close. Her and Sanz, however, looked like they were moving normal pace. Sage stood up slowly and looked around, "What the hell?"

"What the hell indeed. Why did you knock over my alter?" A man said, walking over to them. He had green hair and red eyes and a very bored expression over his face. He has dressed in that damn toga again.

"What is with the toga?" Sage asked.

"It's my godly attire..." Vudall said, seemingly not pleased that he was ignored.
 

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...
What.

Sanz looked to his left, his right, up, down at the floor, and then pinched himself. This couldn't be real. For a minute, he completely ignored both Sage and the individual that had appeared, and instead walked up to one of the priests. He pressed his finger against the man, and was met with some kind of barrier just before the priest's skin. Little sparks of white shot around his finger, resisting him before he could actually touch the snail's pace individual. So he clenched that finger with his others into a fist and threw it.
SKRASH
A sound that was some weird combination of an electrical shortage and metal smacking flesh resounded through the area as Sanz found his fist repulsed both violently and painfully. Another second... and then he started to laugh. Not the kind of laugh that one gives when they are enjoying something, but the sick laugh that comes when it is the only possible way to cope with what is happening.
"Okay... I'm either so fucking high from that nudist cult that I'm hallucinating a dream for the century.... Or I've died and gone to the weird circle of hell."

Fine. If he wasn't in the world of the living anymore--might as well play along.
"So I'm guessing you're Vudall then? The only person who might know what is going on? Because I sure as hell don't anymore."
 
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Sage half jumped out of her skin with Sanz had made a very loud noise. Then she felt her skin crawl just a bit when he started to laugh. What the fuck is this? Is he nuts?

"I'm Vudall, yes." He said, still looking bored, even ask Sanz seemed to try and destroy more things.

"Ok, ok, ok, ok" Sage said starting to freak out a bit. Sanz was freaking her out a bit. Actually, not everything was freaking her out! Why did it take so long for her to recognize everything was FROZEN. Sage took a long deep breath, "What is happening? FIrst, some witch cult was running around, dragging us to some demonic circle and then dropped us here. Where are we?!"

Vudall seemed to really look at them like he was studying them, "Oh." He finally said.

"...oh?" Sage asked.

"Yeah, that cult. They found one of my books yesterday and I went back to confiscate it." Vudall said, "Yes, they sent you from your world to this world." He told them.

"Pardon?" Sage asked.
 
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Sanz took a few deep breaths, trying to get his nerves back under control. He never let himself be visibly upset in this manner, so today was something of a special occasion--
Wait what did that guy say?
"Hold on... different world? Like a fantasy story where the heroes get pulled into a different world?"
If he was hallucinating this, it was some STRONG shit that the nudists had been on
"Okay... wait... assuming this all isn't just my head being fucked, you're saying that some kind of magic ritual pulled us from our world into this one. And you have the book. Theoretically, wouldn't that mean there's also a way back in there?"
Something rational--or at least semi-rational. That's what he was going to cling on to for now. Any kind of chance that he might be able to make it back where things made sense... well most of the time they made sense anyway
 
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"Yes I have the book back. I suppose I could send you back too." Vudall said, "I am a god after all."

"Oh that's great! See problem solved!" Sage said excitedly, putting her fist in her hand.

There was a long pause as they all just stared at each other.

"Oi..." Sage said, glaring at Vudall.

Vudall shifted his eyes, "Thats a lot of work. I can't be bothered." He said.
 

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"Wha--you LITERALLY just said that your book was responsible for this! And you can't do it because it's a chore?! How full can your schedule be when time is all but stopped in your presence?"
Sanz took in an irritated breath and pinched his nose between his fingers. No, he couldn't get confrontational. That would just piss the otherworldly entity off enough that he really wouldn't help them. And right now he had the only way he knew of to get back.
"So what do you propose we do then, oh mighty Vudall?"
The term oh mighty was said slightly in jest... slightly.
"Are the two of us just supposed to wander around an alien world until die or manage to figure out how to live?"
 
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Vudall seemed to really ponder what Sanz was saying, "Well you did destroy my vessel just now. I'm still pissed about that." Vudall said.

Sage half flinched and turned her head a bit, she had a small expression of 'woops' on her face.

"But I'll forgive you and send you back if you go out and kill the demon lord of this world," Vudall said, suddenly raising his voice. "This vill creature has been tormenting the world for years! If you destroy him in my name, then I will send you back exactly the moment in time you left!"

Sage made a face, "Seriously?" She asked.

"Go to the adventures guild! Become adventures there and I will watch you as you start your adventure! It should be an easy task for two individuals who come from a world far more advanced than this one!" Vudall said.
 

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Sanz spared a glance in Sage's direction, and his eyes did not miss the young man flinching.
"Okay, I get that you're unhappy. Sorry about that. But we're not soldiers--we're regular people. How do you expect us to realistically do that?"
Assuming that this adventurer's guild worked something like it did in most fantasies that he had read--yeah maybe they could try to make a living that way, but it wasn't going to magically make them more powerful.
"Unless this world somehow had drastically different rules to ours... god what am I even saying at this point?"
Was he seriously considering the ramifications of this? He was going to hope that whenever he finally woke up that this whole thing was a bad trip
 

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"Well the way I see it. you two don't have a choice." Vudall said, "BUT! I am a benevolent god! Here.." Vudall actually dropped a small bag into Sage's hand, "Your guild fee. Good luck!" He said before disappearing.

"Wai--" Sage couldn't get the word out of her mouth before everything resumed and the statue was fixed and back on its pedestal.

There was the panic happening, but it started to quite into a confused lull. Everyone was not sure what was happening. The priest on the ground looked just as shocked.

Sage was mostly staring at the bag, then looked at Sanz. Something in her eyes basically said, 'let's get the fuck out of here' as she turned and started to walk out of the temple.
 
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Sanz gave a quick glance around the area, noting just how confused all the priests were. None of them seemed to know what had just happened. When his gaze mate Sage's, there was no further prompting needed for them to leave. For a little while, he did not attempt to say anything. The two just walked through the city, now with what was apparently a bag of currency. Once he was certain they had left the temple behind though...
"So... what do you think about all this? I didn't want to buy what he was selling back there but... I mean what's the better explanation?"
His hand floundered in a helpless gesture. Was this actually going to happen?
"Dammit I feel like I'm in a video game right now..."
 

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Sage sighed and opened up the bag. There were five shiny gold coins inside the little bag. She closed it, then sighed lightly, "Uh, well. What are the choices we really have? I can't even fucking wrap my head around what happened." Sage told Sanz. "Like, maybe this is just an elaborate dream? Maybe... this is an elaborate joke. I never believe in magic." Sage said, then sighed, "Fuck sakes. Lets.. find this adventure's guild. Maybe we can get some more information there?"
 

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"I hope this is a dream. Really I do--but why would we be sharing a dream? That's weird enough. And then all the time-stopping and the bull-shit I just can't--"
Sanz stopped himself and took a deep breath
"You're right, let's find this place first. So far it's literally the only clue we have that has anything to do with back home.
 
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Sage closed her eyes and took another long deep breath as while, especially while Sanz was calming himself as well. What was she doing? She was Sage! The stone-faced liar. The chef extraordinaire! A seductress of unimaginable talent! She could do this. Maybe.

"Alright, lets go." Sage said with Sanz. They stopped to ask for instructions a couple of times but eventually made it to a very large building in the middle of the city. It had a dome-like shape to it and seemed pretty busy. The double doors were wide open for people to come in and out of. Sage noticed there were some people who looked well equipped and some people that looked just like normal townspeople.

Inside, there was complete a place to eat, talk and drink. There looked like there was a small god alter in the corner and a rather large cork board with tons of papers pinned across it. Next to the board seemed like there was a counter.

Sage looked around, "Damn, this place is busy... ugh and the smell of food just made me realize I was hungry.."
 
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Sanz found his senses overwhelmed when they entered the guild hall, as people were calling it. There were so many bodies pressed within the place, and yet it did not seem that it was crowded. So many sounds, sights and smells. No one here even blinked twice at the attire he or Sage were wearing--how could they amidst knights, wizards, and all manner of other individuals. For the first time since he woke up, Sanz finally felt himself accepting that Vudall was not a hallucination, and that this was not some dream he was having. This was a real place. A real world. And if he wanted to get back home, he was going to have to try and survive--nay, thrive in it. A couple of quick questions regarding new adventurers pointed them to a large desk, with a couple of individuals behind it filing paperwork. It did not appear as if Sage and Sanz were the only two joining as new adventurers.
"Hello, could I have your name please?"
Sanz blinked a couple of times at the young lady in front of him
"Um.. Sanz. Sanz Vurrein."
"Good, you'll need an entrance fee of 1 gold to register with the guild, then you'll have your guild card and can begin taking quests!"
Sanz turned around to look at Sage
"Last chance to back out. You're the one with the cash."
 
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"I don't want to be stuck here as much as you do..." Sage said, reaching into the bag and pulling out two gold coins, "Sage Russo." She told the young lady when she handed over the gold. Sage then pulled a third gold coin out and handed it to Sanz, "Here. I'll take one too and then we can use the third one to get some food or something!" Sage said, almost exasperated. She really felt like she was hungry, which was all she could really think about right now. Sage just didn't have it in her right now to be any kind of herself. She just felt too out of place and she was sure once she had some kind of direction, she'd start to feel a bit more like herself again.

"So.. What next?" Sage asked the woman.
 
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At Sage's mention of food, Sanz's own stomach growled--and not softly. He wasn't sure how long the two of them had been unconscious before waking up here... There was a giggle from the guild lady at the counter before she continued--in spite of Sanz's blush.
"Are you two joining the guild as a team then?"
"Um... I would say so?"
"All right then, I'll take your fee, and if the two of you would put your hands on this sheet of paper..."
Sanz hesitated for a moment. No signing of papers, no additional information, that was it? What was this? Not like he had much choice though. And when Sage put his hand forward, Sanz followed suit. There was a bright flash of light, and what was left was a pair of cards. One in Sanz's hand, and one in Sage's. The card had their names, a "partner" tag in the upper right corner with the other's name... and what looked like stats?
"This is your guild card, marking you as an adventurer. If you have any questions, please ask one of the guild trainers. They will be more than happy to assist you. And if you're craving a hot meal or a bed for the night, head down the hallway to the right, where our in-house services are available to guild members.
"Thank you miss..."
"Simply call me Guildmarm. And if you have any questions about the guild in general, don't be afraid to come back!"

Sanz walked away with a mixture of awe and bewilderment. Another scan of the card did indeed reveal that it held his name and status as an adventurer. It actually looked a lot like a menu from some of the fantasy RPG's he played.
"So... remember when I said that I felt like we were in a video game? This is not helping the case."
Sanz made the comment offhandedly to Sage. At this point both of them were heading towards food.
 
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Sage followed suit in much of the same bewilderment. She pressed her hand to the paper, unsure on how this was going to do anything, then with a flash of light, they got a card, "WHOA" Sage said, though the Guildmarm started talking over her anyway, explaining the card. Sage excitedly flipped the card back and forth. Magic was amazing! Sage almost missed the woman's explanation of the guild, but food caught her attention a bit, "I guess we might get to eat and sleep for cheaper here." Sage half murmured as they started to walk.

"Video game... I knew a lot of people who played, but I never played myself. They always looked like a waste of my time. Like, I had better things to do with it." Sage told Sanz, half looking at the card, half watching where she was going.
 

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Sanz had to pause for a moment at Sage's comment.
"You've never played at all? I thought most people our age had."
What better things had Sage needed to do?
...
Probably flirting and sleeping around from what he had seen.

A glance to his side revealed that Sage was continuously flipping the guild card in her hands.
"It's... it doesn't feel quite real does it? And yet the more this stuff happens the harder I find it to deny."
Sanz found themselves a seat in what looked like some kind of... he guessed it would be called a pub? Whatever it was called, there was definitely food and drink here. While waiting for food, Sanz investigated the guild card closely. There were four categories of skills from the look of it--combat, defense, utility, and magic. And there were dozens of skills in each category. Then... there was a glowing white '5' above the skills.
"I think... this is a skill tree of some kind. Lets see if we can find one of those guild trainers after this."