Solitude

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Poludnica

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  • Prof. Alicia Keys

    A mysterious traveller.

  • “We have no need of other worlds. We need mirrors. We don't know what to do with other worlds. A single world, our own, suffices us; but we can't accept it for what it is.” [/I]
    7 weeks earlier


    ”Any history of somatic illness?”

    ”No.”

    ”Any history of mental illness?”

    ”No.”

    ”Any history of substance abuse?”

    ”No.”


    The government official shifted his attention from the piece of paper toward a tall, elegant woman that sat before him. She wasn’t beautiful, but there was something gaze drawing in her cold, celtic features and black hair. The cobalt eyes measured him carefully, assessing every detail. It unsettled him. ”It says here you have never taken time off, aside from few sick leaves.” The official stated to which the woman shrugged indifferently. ”Who needs holidays?” She offered him a mirthless smile. ”Right, who needs vacation?” He shifted in his chair. ”Do you think you can handle it, miss Keys? The solitude.” That was the last question and the official was thankful for that.

    ”Why wouldn’t I? I like a good challenge.”

    *****

    The station was well lit, a burst of light amid arctic night. Professor Keys opened the pressure doors which opened with a loud hiss. She took off few layers of gloves, thick hat and a mask that protecter her skin from biting cold. Alicia grabbed the container with samples and walked toward another set of doors. Before pressing the code on a keypad, she removed the rest of thermal apparel. Dressed in a simple jumpsuit, she was ready to enter the main hallway when she noticed something strange. The doors stayed open way too long. ”Bob“ Alicia called for the advance computer for help. ”What’s wrong with the door?” She pointed at the still open entrance to the exit chamber. ”I don’t know Alicia, it was a glitch.” The machine spoke in a monotonous, robotic voice that creeped her out at the beginning. Keys was used to it now, even took solace in an artificial being. At least she didn’t have to talk to herself. ”A glitch, huh?” That was worrying, if the door could get a glitch what about the heaters? The hydroponic garden? Alicia didn’t like having so little control over her environment. It pained her more than lack of simple, human conversation - that was actually a pleasant thing. Bob handled almost everything regarding the base and it was programmed by a human being. They were fallible creatures. Alicia knew it better than anyone else.

    The lab was filled with cutting edge technology - a scientist wet dream. Alicia had everything she needed to examine every new species frozen in the great glaciers. So far her work focused on getting the samples, but soon the best part would start. She liked many fields of study: from astrophysics to sociology, but biology was her first love. Breaking down DNA to the last bit; finding out old evolution paths; unlocking secret of life. Proving ultimately human was a master of this universe, not imaginary gods.

    So cold. Alicia thought when placed the still frozen container on the floor. She looked down on her hands, they were slightly red; creating a contrast to pale skin. Alicia normally had freckled, fair complexion, but lack of sunlight turned it almost translucent, with blue blood vessels visible under her skin. It didn’t bother the professor; there was no one to be pretty for. A nice change - she had always felt pressure to look impeccable, yet found it unnecessary. Her perfectionism let go in this base and Alicia was finally free of make up and dresses. There were no excpectations rather than her own drive to do research.

    Alicia’s day had strict schedule. Breakfast, shower, work, time in the gym, dinner, more work, supper and sleep. She never wavered from it, knowing how important it was to maintain it. For the first few days Alicia felt like a hamster on amphetamine: running from one corner to another, admiring the complexity the facility had to offer. A part of her wondered if there was a catch, of course there was, but she found herself too smart to swallow it. After few thawing moments Alicia began to handle the samples, carefully placing them on a proper shelf for later analysis.
 
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"I am free."

A hissing sound heralded the opening of the millennia-long hermetically sealed door of the ship, ushering inside a mighty gust of cold air, creating, for the first time in 1000 years, wind to blow his hair.

"Hair?"

A hand with twelve fingers reached for the head of the massive, pale, humanoid figure and touched upon the long, thick, white extensions, which were blown back like a flag or a piece of cloth. Three of the fingers, on on each side of the hand, clenched around exactly one string and the creature's facial expression changed as a testament of the short pain he experienced. Upon examining the structure of the grey hair strand, Sayazar deduced, with relative certainty, the effects of his solitary confinement.

The stand was grey... no, it was grey because of the light, as the door fully opened, he realised it was almost as white as the snow outside - a millennium in darkness must have made his body adapt to the conditions, discarding useless things, such as colouring and pigmentation. This was not something he was a fan of, but regaining his own colours would come naturally, as he regained his strength. Yes, judging by the structure of the hair, it was evident his physical body had deteriorated and was far from its peak - perhaps an adaptation to the life of lethargy... The other option, that his body was merely changing, because it was following his demented mind was too unpleasant to consider right now. After all, he didn't have too much time.

The creature jumped into the snow and immediately regretted his poor preparation. His grey, naked feet, each with three large, extended toes quickly felt the bitter coldness of the local terrain and sent shivers towards his upper body, despite it being covered in a thick brown cloak of super-isolating material. He closed his blueish eyes, with no irises and commanded his body to resist the cold, but did nothing to lessen any feelings he had, not matter how discomforting - they were necessary if he wanted to be aware of his surroundings. He knew the ship wouldn't have landed here, if there wasn't some settlement nearby, he just had to find it. His cleverness and confusing magic had won him less than a day, and a day here didn't last very long - 24 hours were much less than he needed, but it was his best option - if he didn't find shelter, he would have to go back to the ship and try another trick, the next time the vessel would fly next to another habitable world... which might happen a day, a year, or even ten millennia later, thus making for a highly unfavourable option. Yet, he would be forced to choose it, if he didn't find shelter, since, after all - it was a fate much more preferable than death in the wasteland.

He didn't worry about the journey back - Sayazar knew all too well, that once he failed to return after a certain time interval, the AI would start scanning for him, but if he found shelter, it would be fairly simple to hide his specific signature - for as long as he had to!

---

The huge, metalic monster before him must have been a settlement at some point, but right now, there was nobody inside. It did seem habitable, nevertheless and anyone who would build something like this wouldn't ever leave it without some sort of defence mechanism - one which he wasn't all too eager to trigger, since the AI of his ship would have no trouble making the connection between a raised alarm and his presence. He deliberately didn't think of the more worrying possibility, of the ship taking control over the mechacked. He pondered what to do for a moment, but breaking the heavy iron was both unpleasant, taxing and impractical, as it would immediately betray his presence. It was at that moment, when he realised the base was partially sentient - another AI, one which his kind would qualify as the lowest possible - type 6. It took him a single hit on the wall with concentrated force, to attract its attention.

"Explain your presence!" - he heard what seemed as a metallic voice echo
nism to flush him out - it's sole purpose was to contain its passenger, after all.

It took him a few laps to discover the main door, which, of course, was lo
straight into his skull - the alien had expanded its consciousness in such a way, that the AI couldn't differentiate him from a computer program, encountered fleeting in space. "Talk with me now!" - the machine ordered, since he didn't reply immediately - something quite uncanny for a program, after all.

"I am here to help." - he sent a signal back. A signal of a higher sequence, an order.

The door opened, only a little bit - apparently whoever lived here was quite short and significantly less large when compared to him - nothing unexpected - it was another species, after all.

After walking inside, he noticed the lights were turned on most of the time, hence allowing him a good look around the area. There were lots of machines, some books, a few tables - whoever lived here must have had the same humanoid shape he did - that made things easier. As he continued his march forward, Sayazar cloaked himself in shadows - both his body and his specific signature - the ship had officially lost its ability to find him, as of now. He breathed deeply, as he opened the doors widely - as of now he was on his own - a fugitive in a way. But he was also free - something much more important.

"After millennia spent in darkness... this cold sore I'm feeling right now is like the kind light of the moon upon my mind." - he spoke aloud, hearing his deep, bass voice for the first time in very, very long.

"I beg your pardon, Alicia? I am not programmed to understand this language, I'm afraid." a voice replied back, startling him - the AI was apparently programmed to interact with the dweller of this station. Before he could say something to cancel the command, a sound came from the other hall - the one behind the door. Apparently the AI wasn't advanced enough to differentiate the voice or the appearance of its owner - it was a type 6, after all.

Sayazar reacted immediately. His body shot a revitalising impulse throughout itself, jolting his limbs and his respiratory system from their lethargic states. After quickly scanning the surroundings, he quickly jumped to the wall, climbed to the relatively high ceiling an clenched himself around two larger pipes that were going around, holding his torso with both his hands and legs, using every finger his body had, to hold on more reliably. Every muscle followed, in perfect harmony, a chain reaction following the fingers and ending in his internal organs - that's what the result of millions of years of evolution and genetic hardening gave you - a near perfect being, despite having spent years in solitude and lack of extensive movements. Cloaked in unnatural shadows like that, somebody without ample knowledge would never be able to recognise the magical barrier and he could hold on for days, if needed be. His eyes looked below, to identify the creature, whose species had made this building here, amidst the frozen wasteland.
 
The disappointment washed through her like an unpleasant, cold tide. Cooling her enthusiasm that shrivelled into annoying boredom. The samples contained nothing spectacular. Alicia hunched over the microscope and put data into a computer. The analysis showed DNA of a simple, cyanobacertias commonly found in aquatic habitat. Because of, paradoxically dry environment, they were lyophilised. Alicia could bring them back from their cryostate, but decided to just leave them be. There was no point in reviving something so common. Another day, another failure. So many simple organisms had been found in this harsh, unforgiven land and yet Alicia craved to discover something special. To describe a breakthrough in evolution of simple organisms, starting from ancient, unknown species. Frustrated, she pulled away from the desk and rubbed her face in a gesture of helplessness. It didn’t help Alicia didn’t know what they expected her to find there. “General research.” The officials claimed. What the heck did it even mean? Finding a new oil field? That would bring democracy to penguins rather quickly.

After sifting through various articles Alicia found tendentious, she discovered a pearl in the dumpster. For a moment she had forgotten herself in a both: crazy and revelatory at the same time. The author speculated that deep within the glaciers were echoes of ancient times when Earth was a hothouse and life thrived in the North Pole. Despite current trend, the scientist claimed thawing and freezing of glaciers is a natural cycle. The final conclusion was remarkable: to leave the ice in peace. Within it could rest dangerous microbes and viruses humans had never seen in thousands of years. During the last great extinction, when plague swept through the homo sapiens species during Holocene great extinction. Only a handful of humans were left in Europe, when animals they had hunted brought the death from colder, yet still viable climates.

Alicia pondered this discovery, wondering if the scientist was a good fiction writer or a genuine researcher. He had little to support the claim, yet it sounded convincing. Something nestle in the back of her mind, something she couldn’t grasp. A pang of worry. The intuition told her to and stay away from the deep digging, but she ignored it. Something was there. The government wouldn’t have created this expensive base just to make her research well known algae for the next few years. Alicia leaned back in the comfortable, leather chair when a muffled, but audible sound. The woman yelped like a scared feline. Her sudden movement caused the chair to move and Alicia ungracefully fell to the floor. ”Ow!” She exclaimed whilst cradling her head. ”That hurt.” At first Alicia thought something blew up in the hallways, but then Bob spoke, indifferent to her misery.

“I beg your pardon, Alicia? I am not programmed to understand this language, I'm afraid.”

She scrambled to the upward position, her curly hair turned into a tangled mess. ”What?” Alicia asked, still dizzy from the fall. ”What language?” A sudden rush of adrenaline and fear coiled her muscles. The feeling of not being alone crept under her skin. Slowly the woman turned to face the doors from behind which the voice came. ”What language?” Bob asked and Alicia trembled slightly.

”What?”

”What” Bob echoed. Frustrated, Alicia snipped at the machine. ”Is this another glitch?” The demand was spoken in firm, unwavering voice. One that belonged to a woman who was used to getting what set her mind on. ”I don’t understand, Alicia. There was no language.” Bob said in his even, unnerving tone. ”I know there was something.” She looked at the camera, an integral part of the machine’s perception system. Without it, Bob would be blind. Alicia didn’t need to look at the computer, it was just a human habit to find the other’s face during conversation. This time, there was nothing there, but an unfeeling eye. Her brows furrowed. ”System, reboot.” Alicia ordered, knowing Bob could do nothing, but comply.

Swallowing tangy taste of fear, the dark haired woman, walked toward the hallway. Alicia hesitated for a moment, her fingers hovering just above the touch button. There is nothing there, you were dizzy from the fall. For a brief moment the scientist doubted her own sanity and began to regret the punishment she brought on Bob. There was no need to restart it, aside from venting anger on the stupid, unthinking machine. It made her feel better. Now assured by elaborate rationalisation, Alicia gathered her courage entered the… lit passage. The proximity sensors should have reacted to her, nothing else. Shit. The woman froze in place, looking around fearfully. Finally Alicia had taken one step deeper, then another. Nothing happened. ”Just a vivid imagination.” This time she verbalised the thought, barely even registering this fact.

Cold…cold spot on her nose. Gingerly, Alicia touched it and her fingertips found droplets of water. She looked up immediately. The water could only come from the outside, the snow. The entire base was filed with warm one, to keep it evenly heated. Slowly, the woman looked up, nervously pulling hair away from her face. Nothing. Bob was still rebooting, it took good half an hour to get it back on line. Shutting it down was the worst decision in this particular moment. Alicia always wanted to know - that was her biggest flaw and strength . She had always been a control freak that had to have a closure. It got worse after the dark incident, as Alicia called it, but even as a child she was tenacious.

Adamant to find out what brought the snow in, the woman walked toward the tall wall and grasped one of the pipes. She was never a sporty type, her frame was slender thanks to ignoring hunger rather than exercise. Alicia painfully paid for this and when her leg slipped one of the pipes, she once more met the floor this day. ”Fuck.” The woman cursed and this time jumped to her feet. Cold anger fuelling her every movement, despite pain in the bruised back of the head. In the lab, Alicia grabbed the mop that helped to keep the floor clean and briskly walked into the hallway. Fear all but forgotten. The scientist began to poke at ceiling, not really sure what she wanted to find. Probably the source of the leak, maybe a weakened pipe.
 
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A pair of cold, irregularly shaped eyes without irises observed the human female, as she paved her way across the hall, not blinking from until she began her descent into frustration, until she decisively exited the closed space of the room.

"Interesting..."

The creature apparently possessed an above-average sensitivity towards vibration, although it seemed to have no knowledge of this process. This was strange, even in the universal scale. The theory his kind had developed, backed up by enormous amount of practical evidence, stated that new species usually took one of the two narrow paths towards evolution: the masculine or the feminine. Masculine civilisation, such as his own, would bend the environment to work around them and count on lots of helpers, which would further them. A feminine civilisation would have almost no helpers, they would conduct the same transmutations that the masculine civilisations would do in the outside world, however within themselves. In the grand scheme of things, the masculine civilisations would outnumber the feminine ones on a 100 to 1 scale. Upon gazing at the world's stratosphere and noticing the amount of artificial helpers wandering about their business, Sayazar had immediately concluded this was a masculine world - similar, perhaps, to what his had been millions of years ago. And yet, this creature underneath him exhibited characteristics, that were innate to the feminine worlds. Technically, it was possible for a world to combine both, as his kind eventually did, but that would require a massive amount of time invested, until the society realises the benefits to the holistic approach in their way of perceiving the universe. Either this was a giant exception to the galactic rule, or he was actually being a guest to a much elder race than what he had originally assumed.

Whichever the case, one thing was certain - his previously designed strategy would no longer be relevant, as it was entirely based upon the uneasily made assumption, that the dweller of this mechanical base would not be able to detect any of his magic, as it belonged to a masculine society. That realisation, of course, made things much more complicated than originally planned, but millennia of experience had taught him that living according to the rules of the harsh reality, regardless how unpleasant, was much better, than indulging in the comfort of the denial. What's more, he simply could not afford to make mistakes in the dire situation that he had currently found himself in. It wasn't the first time he was in this type of position, though, so despite having his mind taxed by the 1000-year-long solitude, his conscience didn't falter.

It was obvious he had three options, each of which branched into several different outcomes, each hard to predict. One was to simply eliminate the creature that was dwelling inside and thus give himself more time to learn his surroundings and proceed towards deciding on his next move and overall agenda. That option, however, held within itself a gargantuan uncertainty, as there was no telling how many creatures lived in this space, or how many would come to visit, nor how would they react to finding the base fully operational, while its single occupant is inexplicitly missing. What's more, treading down this path would mean he was devoid of an important specimen, which would contribute to him eventually solving the mystery of this world. Lastly, but also not least, it was too invasive for his tastes - it seemed too much like something a hive would do, namely forcefully change its surroundings to its own image at the nearest difficulty, as opposed to trying to understand the said surroundings. A small smirk run amok amidst his lips - the ones who hunted monsters ought to closely observe themselves, lest they actually turned into what they hunted.

The second option was to reveal himself to the dweller of this outpost, but it held too much uncertainty as well. He knew nothing of this race that inhabited this unclassified world, plus there was the issue of their mysterious duality. If they were an older race, it could very well be, that they were actually hostile towards outsiders, as often happened when races begun threading the balanced path, as they saw all the rest as inferiors that could only harm their advancement. Provided the race was actually young, then there was no telling of exactly how this particular being would react to an alien's appearance. Has its race even encountered alien life before? Did they even believe such was possible? Had they discarded all religions yet? No, this option held far too many variables and could even have a lethal end, if done too surprisingly. It was, indeed, an option for later period of time, but he would need to gather more data, so as to make his mind about its implementation.

Removing the latter two options made for a clear choice: he had to hide again, this time better and without focusing too much on using magic as a primarily tool - at least for the time being, that is.

All these thoughts ran at incredible speed through his brain, the ganglia carrying signals a mere fraction slower than the speed of light. Only a few seconds had passed, before he made up his mind and let go, immediately landing on his feet, the large toes acting as sort of a whimsical springs, to balance his massive weight, without making almost any sound. Even the quiet "thump" that he caused, however, made his face cringe in displeasure - the creature was highly likely to interpret that in some way, adding to its apparent frustration, demonstrated by having the AI restart itself for no reason at all. Well, his long life, as well as his race's tragic experience with time-travel, had taught him never to regret the mistakes of the past. One quick jump, which would normally be effortless, but actually took quite some effort to accomplish soundlessly - another evidence of his reduced stamina, and he found himself on the other end of the room, next to some machines. His had just managed to position his massive body behind them and envelop himself in shadows, this time relying less on the spell and more on his actual hiding position. The shadows that his him now were on the border between a normal natural phenomena, a play of the light in the room, and actual magic.
 
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Nothing fell from the pipe, no leak nor any other abnormalities. She gazed at the dark corner for a while longer, her thoughts trying to process what had occurred. Bob came on line, Alicia could see the red light of the camera flickering. The virtual intelligence didn’t say anything, as usually. Bob remained silent until something was demanded of it or a something of importance showed up. Other than that, the super computer was a ghost. At first she felt uncomfortable around it, as if a living being watched her. Alicia quickly rationalised those fears away - it was just a machine without ability to form opinions. Or judge. Idly, the woman looked at the unmoving eye. ”System check.” She sighed, calm. Even ashamed of own outburst, although there was no one to witness it. Who says you aren’t being watched? The thought that blossomed in her head felt like a brush of cold air. Alicia pondered on it before; they had assured over and over it wouldn’t happen. The base was cut off from satellite communication, unless she personally reached out to the outside world. For that to happen, Alicia had to go outside and put the entire satellite dish on line. Did Bob store any footage? Probably.

It took Alicia few moments to push away the growing conspiracy theory before it consumed another bit of her sanity. ”All systems on line and functioning.” Bob chimed in. The woman nodded and exhaled slowly. This was getting ridiculous. She put away the poking stick, oblivious to the alien creature that already find his way to the lab. When the doors closed behind her, Alicia looked around the spacious workplace. The familiarity of it was soothing: white, fluorescent light; the soft hum of coolers. Her gaze drifted toward the half finished analysis, there was still work to be done today. It was something that always consoled Alicia, gave her sense of security and purpose. The scientist felt overwhelmed when the structures crumbled around. Control gave her peace, like a safety blanket comforted child.

Everything awaited her just as she had left it. The samples untouched, the computer keyboard in the sample place. The monitor went into screen saving mode. Pictures began to show, something Alicia picked up herself to keep her company. An emotional link to the outside world. Even with so strong for personal space and isolation, she was still a human being. An arrogant one, that told herself those few friends she had could be sacrificed for own ambition. Only now the woman began to realise how much a freedom to call someone meant. Alicia sat down, but didn’t return to work, instead stared at the changing pictures: Alicia with co-workers on a party after a conference. Alicia with her two friends: Rosalie on the left, radiantly beautiful. Nora between them; dear,sweet Nora who, despite all the intelligence, always ended up with utter dicks. The image shifted once more. Alicia with her grandmother, little Alicia with parents. With her cat. Even a former, short-term boyfriend found his way into this memoire. Alicia liked him, really. They were better buddies than lovers.

A nagging buzz violently pulled Alicia away from melancholy she had wrapped herself in. She tensed, as if expecting danger, only mere seconds later realising it was just another analysis ending. Something was very wrong with her today. Very, very wrong. When Alicia’s heart stopped racing, the woman fetched the vials and prepared few more microscope samples. Without even realising it, the researcher began to hum. She disliked silence - music accompanied her at every step. Filled the solitude with a phantom of another’s voice. Wolves asleep mids the trees. Alicia’s voice wasn’t perfect, wasn’t even this good. Average and untrained, but there were few songs she knew by heart. Every little note, every change in tone. Those were simple melodies, ones her grandmother sang to her all those years ago. Bats all swayin’ in the breeze. Her fingers tapped few buttons on the keyboard. But one soul lies anxious, wide awake. Fearin’ all manner of ghouls, hags and wraiths. On the screen appeared few microbes, all belonged with the same boring category. Alicia catalogued it. For your dolly, polly sleep has flown. Don’t dare let her tremble alone. She changed the samples and catalogued. For the hunter, heartless, cold. Paid in coins of gold… The song came to a rapid halt when she noticed something interesting in the next sample. Crap, no, another common specimen.

A sigh of frustration escaped Alicia who stretched in her chair. The furniture squeaked softly when the woman rose to her feet. It was time to call it a day. The researcher left the lab, deciding on going to the gym. Even if she didn’t really like sport, Alicia couldn’t denied simple exercise helped her to unwind. She changed quickly into comfortable sweat pants and t-shirt. Alicia gathered long, loose hair into a messy bun before hopping on a treadmill. The gym was…sparse. There was a treadmill, a pull up bench which she never used and some free space to place a mat - which she never did. Running was enough to keep her body healthy and mind relaxed. Counting breaths, Alicia began a forty minute routine. ”Bob, put on…” She smiled radiantly, already feeling the endorphins working. ”The Bomb.” The moment Alicia finished speaking, an upbeat melody boomed from the speakers. The woman picked up pace, pushing her body further. Despite her violin background and uptight image Alicia projected, she didn't have overly sublime tastes in music or movies. Such silly songs were among the few things that made Alicia stupidly happy.
 
The pair of curious, albeit cold eyes followed in the human's ever movement. The species was most certainly a male-orientated and this female exhibited as much male characteristics as humanly possible, the latter assumption being made despite his lacking knowledge of their kind. The way she treated the materials gotten from the wasteland outside was in a total contrast with anything a feminine civilisation would do. She didn't even as much as consider the aesthetics, or the pure artistic expression of life having survived for countless aeons, despite being trapped in the dead and endless icy tomb. Nor was she able to appreciate the, undoubtedly not coincidental, parallel between herself and those tiny specks of vitality, metaphorically shining as an island amidst a lifeless sea of waters so devoid of life and vibration, they'd grown solid. No, such thoughts never seemed to as much cross her mind, instead the interest of this being was focused purely on the mechanics.

Or rather... she wished for her interested and understanding to be confined to the purely mechanical. Diametrically opposed to the perceived wishes of her consciousness, those small glimpses of her humanity snickered through the iron curtain of her machine-like persona in the form of a slideshow of pictures of beings she had shared experiences with, interfering with her work processes. Sayazar had to further denote, that given her lack of access to other, more refined, methods for keeping her body in as sharp a shape as her mind, her tendency to exercise was admirable, albeit once again - purely mechanical, lacking in any way the appreciation for the almost magical process of physical awakening, the festival of life that took place within her very body. The playful gist of her mitochondria unleashing fanfares of ATP. Yet, as she begun to move and even sing along, unknowingly most likely, in rhythm with the upbeat frequency that the computer disposed for her, what could be affiliated to a smile appeared on the alien's face, as he monitored her through one of the computer screens back in the lab, having decided not to risk further close proximity contact, whenever possible. He had cracked the case - a heavy chunk of the mystery of this peculiar specimen had been peeled off and through that, he had learned in an instant, more about her world than going through through the system's archived would have yielded him for decades. Moreover, he was confident that he had the chance to observe one of the more advanced and by all means - quite different specimen of the species that had formed on this chuck of cosmic rock.

Her society had been the only reality she had known and since it was impossible for her to imagine anything else, she had played according to the rules that her world showed or pretended to have. He had absolutely no doubt she was a prodigal virtuoso, attaining a high position within the society she had build towards. However, being such an advanced individual, she must have been able to feel, or rather - to be intrinsically aware, somewhere deep within, that there is more to life than the subjective "reality" she was raised into. Inadvertently, she must have been unable to satisfy her curiosity and inner desire for feminine-styled appreciation of the world with the comfort of the belief brands that the systems of the societies tend to market to people like her, just like goods to consumers, so as to keep them within the same matrix frame they are already a part of. That in itself had turned into a problem, as someone who is at the top of the societal pedestal, yet somehow inertly unsatisfied by the totality of her experience, she had, in a sense, outgrown her peers and her society as a whole. In other words, she had reached such a point, where the bulk of what she was exceeded the matrix of what the society had prepared for her so much, that she had ceases being registered by the system, as the system wouldn't have the tools to register or the categories to categorise her. In the end, it would seem that the creature sweating on the monitor in front of him had outgrown what its species had envisioned or predicted one of its kind to be like, that she had inevitably ended up alienated from the rest of the flock, as they felt an odd mixture of awe and an inexplicable allure of danger surround what much have seemed such a strange specimen to them. Unable to figure out what was happening to her, since she was now swimming into a void previously unexplored by anyone before, she delved more and more into her work trying to silence or negate the springing doubts, thus furthering the process of segregation that was already inevitably taking place. It was a pretty unique occurrence he was bearing a witness to - a female, born in an exclusively male-orientated kind of world struggling to understand what the female principle was like and combine it with the male one. It was the reason for her child-like endeavours that sprung from time to time, when she thought she was not being watched. it's because the first step towards rediscovering that other side of the experience was to be reduced to a child and her being novice in it cold be compared to first learning how to read.



Another monitor peaked, showing the signs of what was certainly the way this species encrypted thought onto matter. Judging by the colour spectrum it must have been something serious and the sole inhabitant of the living space would certainly be alerted for it. Sayazar retreated into the other parts of the building, leaving his host to deal with her living quarters' issues if needed be. He walked slowly, though probably twice the normal human pace with his bulky figure, until he reached a dark room the purpose of which he didn't clearly understand. Sitting onto the heated floor, he exhaled loudly and closed his eyes for the first time since he had come into the building. It was the perfect place to become aware. He allowed his mind to rush into an array of different subjects, to ask a billion questions and frantically run towards the edges of his understanding, but not as an active participant in its searches - rather - a mere observer. His mind gradually became quiet and still, ceasing, at least for a while, its frenzy and allowing him to concentrate in himself. What was he, really? And not in a mechanical sense - he knew he was part of all creation and that life and death were but a mere rite of passage into the different vistas of realities - but his question permeated further than that. What was his raison d'etere? Not generally, but here and now, at this particular point within the cyclical time frame. Naturally, there was no answer - if there was an answer ready, his question wouldn't need to be asked at all and he would probably not be here in the first place, since his sole purpose of being was to find out the answer. Yet, to ask any question, one must be already aware of the answer at some or other form.

Wait...

What was he even doing?

An eternity of solitude had made him inapt to deal with some of the most basic of laws of the cosmos. He was not alone. Never, never was he or had he been truly alone - the very matter around him being a form of the same initial particle that formed him as a body and soul. A clear smile must have leaked across his cheecks, as he suddenly became aware of this ginormous and unbreakable connection.

And once he had once again grown aware of how the reality really was, his answer became clear - there was no answer. Not within the I that was self conscious as Sayazar, at least. The answer lied all around him - and we would have to experience it through the "outside" world!

The Sakaya alien opened his eyes, conscious of the golden light they had emanated following his tiny inner breakthrough. And good thing he did, as the steps of the other inhabitant of the station echoed on the ground in the hallway! While time was, all in all, not linear, here and how it was, and he had absolutely no idea how much of it he had spent there, in a self-imposed hypnotic stasis. When one lives for aeons alone, inside a spaceship that has no destination but to keep existing emptily in space, one tends to lose track of such menial things as time. It felt refreshing, though, to be bound within its limits once more - the necessity to react and the fact his speed of action mattered made him feel alive like he hadn't felt in a very, very long time. Although they had mattered before, when he first hid from her, this time the sensation was positively thrilling, as he was aware of it - aware it was aiding in his answer to the question. His bulky body had climbed to the ceiling with a new-found vitality, as he cloaked himself and waited to see where his host would head to and why.
 
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