So what's up with this "everyone has to be included" bullshit...

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Lucia the Light, Nov 21, 2014.

  1. So I'm in grade 11, and at my high school we do Secret Santas and all that Christmas stuff. We drew names this morning and so we all pulled names out of a hat. Except me.

    The Class Rep came around with the bag full of names and I said I wasn't going to pull one out. She said "But everyone is going to participate. Even you." And I refused (politely). Well the teachers in the room went and had a shit fit because I didn't want to participate.

    Now I have had REALLY bad experiences with the whole gift giving thing. I get shitty gifts because everyone assumes I like girly things, so I always get lip gloss and stuff like that. But I HATE that stuff. I'd rather get nothing than get that stuff and have to pretend to be happy about it. It's exhausting and not fun at all.

    What's with the whole "You have to do it or nobody can." attitude? Can nobody respect someone's decision to not participate in something they have no interest in participating in? It just confuses me.
  2. Don't take this the wrong way, but be glad that your school is still doing that kind of thing. My kids can't even have a 'Christmas' party because so many people pitch a bitch because of the religious theme in school, and blah, blah, blah....

    Anyway, I'm not sure where you go to school, but it's something like that in Florida, but different in the sense that if one kid can't participate, no one can. If there's one child who doesn't celebrate Christmas in the class, the entire class doesn't get to celebrate it either (In school of course). I don't understand it myself, and I think that it's an idiotic policy.

    As far as gift giving goes, I thought they had abolished that tradition in every school. I know most schools did because of family's who really couldn't afford to buy gifts for their own children, let alone a complete stranger. If they wanted to do a gift exchange, it shouldn't be forced, at least in my opinion.
  3. I get where you're coming from, but honestly, being polite and doing something you'd rather skip because it would make someone else happy is part of life. Kids in school do it, adults at work do it, grandparents with hyper grandkids do it.

    You could try advertising that you prefer less girly things, or just swap gifts with someone more feminine. You could also find out who got your name and let them know that anything pink is probably a bad choice. And remember that even if you don't actually like the result, people buy girly things for you because they figure statistically it's a safe bet for something you'll like. The results are off, but appreciate the intention!
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  4. Mini has words of wisdom here. While I can understand your reasoning for not wanting to do a Secret Santa (I'm generally in the same boat), sometimes it's good to step back and remind yourself that giving somebody else a gift might make their day. Who knows? Maybe you get a classmate who tends to have really small Christmases because their family isn't well off or that together. Getting some form of recognition from somebody would probably mean a lot to them, even if the gift wasn't great. It may or may not be the case, but if you have to participate, just keep in mind while it's ununpleasant for you, it might mean a lot to the person you get.

    Personally, I am at a stage in life where I really love giving gifts more so than receiving them. Nothing feels better than seeing somebody's face light up after they open a present.
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  5. I have a similar attitude about that too. I mean, it's like what Mini said, sometimes you just have to do things like that; but at the same time, if I don't want to participate, why is that such a bad thing that you'd be willing to stop the entire project because of it? If I'm not comfortable with it, shouldn't I have the right to forfeit participation without question? Say the class is dissecting a frog, it would only be fair to allow someone the opportunity to sit out if they want to. Unfortunately, I have yet to see that happen. You can go sit outside for little bit if you're feeling a little sick, suuure, but can you sit out entirely? Heavens, no! That wouldn't be fair to the rest of the class! Yeah, okay, but what about me? Do I, as an individual with independent thoughts and feelings, not matter in the slightest? Apparently so.

    I guess it's just an unpopular opinion, and maybe I only feel that way because I'm introverted; but honestly, school, and society in general, should really learn how to take into account people like me who just prefer to not participate in these kinda things.

    That might not be why you hate it, but that's why I do.
  6. The reason they force upon you certain things like dissecting a frog is because if one person sits it out then it leaves room for anyone else to do the same. Before you know it, it has nothing to do with being grossed out and all about not wanting to do the work for a lot of students. Therefore, they make it simple and everyone does it.

    As for the secret Santa thing. Meeeerh... I get where both sides are coming from. Perhaps some people don't give gifts in thier families. It would be nonsensical to make them do it for school if they are uncomfortable with it. However, if it's the mere fact of not liking the gifts you're given I don't agree. I get stuff all the time I don't need or want and every time I smile and say "Thank you! How kind of you" because that's how I was raised. Like @Minibit said, as an adult you gotta do things all the time you don't want to do in order to make others happy. It's a part of life.

    You could get really creative and do a mani in a jar. You put a few cotton balls, a bottle of nail polish, a cheap file, cheap clippers, etc (things you get at the dollar store) in a Mason jar. Easy Peasy. And cheap!
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