Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation's Idiots

This made me happy.
 
Oh god...this couldn't have come at a better time. Big football game this weekend and extreme weather conditions combined=some dead drunks preserved in the snow.
 
If I KNEW any idiots living there, I surely wouldn't WARN them.
 
Shit, I'd be telling 'em there's candy hidden under all that snow and that it'll get away if they waste time putting on their coats.