Silly Salad [firejay1 x Pahn]

"Hunting for me?" El asked with some alarm. She didn't want to be found by her father's men but she'd never considered it being hunted. She snorted. "No, I just like being on the road. Haven't you ever wanted to see anything else? The rest of the world? There's more than this." She grit her teeth slightly, but her cheerful mood didn't completely dissipate. It was rather tempting to say something sarcastic about that pointlessly long hair of his, but she wisely decided to keep her mouth shut on that part. The toast and eggs didn't take too long, and she plopped two plates in front of them and began to eat. He had turned bright red and was wolfing down his food awkwardly, clearly having said something he hadn't wanted to. Ah... so there was someone else. Someone who kept a guy locked in a tower his whole life, and "liked it when he took the time to make sure his hair stayed nice." That was deeefinitely a pervert. "Huh." She found herself losing her appetite slightly, but this was not her problem, so not her problem.

El gave an awkward cough and stood up, collecting the empty dishes and cleaning them off briefly with the strange water system before putting them back in their place. "Thanks for letting me stay the night. Would you mind letting me down, now?" She asked, avoiding eye contact, but tone still pleasant.
 
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Lars didn't respond to her comment about there being other things outside his tower. Was he curious about the world? Of course. Had he ever thought of leaving? Definitely. But he had no way of going back up if he ever went down, and as much as he knew Gothel loved him dearly, he had seen her wrath unveiled once and he never wanted to see it again. It's not that he was terrified of her, but he didn't want her cruelty to befall him.

While he was lost in his thought, the girl had cleaned off her dishes and appeared ready to go. He felt a little pinch in his chest but he ignored it. She was a brat, and an ungrateful one at that. The rudest girl he'd certainly ever meet. "Ah, yes, certainly." With a surprising speed, Lars braided his hair. It was smooth and soft with a healthy glow. It was mostly a very loose braid but it would do to drop the girl down. "Just, uhm, step on here and hold tightly." The young man wrapped his hair around the old hook and placed himself by the window, waiting for the girl to step into action.
 
The hair was still weird, she decided, but she'd be free of it soon, anyways. El stepped gingerly on the soft braid and held on tightly, more than ready to be good and gone now.

He let her down smoothly, very comfortable doing this, but in the light of day, it was a lot more intimidating to be hanging that high up in the air with nothing but a rope of hair and a sissy-looking boy preventing her from falling. A gust of wind caught her by surprise, blowing her at the tower wall, and she yelped and swore as she put out one foot to prevent herself from bumping into it.
 
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The sudden movement caused Lars to gasp and lose his footing. "No no no no!" He tilted dangerously to the window ledge, and one peek down below made his heart jump furiously in his chest. He pushed himself away, but he was still much closer to the ledge than he would have liked. Falling from this height was certain death, and the young man was far from ready to die so tragically!

Then the girl kicked herself away from the wall. While he'd been able to pull Gothel up during strong winds and even storms, the older woman had been more careful to avoid swinging back and forth. El, on the other hand, was lighter and not quite comfortable on his hair. "Be careful, don't swing around so much!"
 
El just barely heard Lars' warning over the wind, and she peered up at the tower window, straining to see if she could see the person's face. Holding on to the rope of hair tightly, she closed her eyes until she felt the ground under her feet again. With a huff, she opened her eyes again and let out a self-mocking laugh.

She took a step off the hair, but her other foot caught temporarily in a portion of the well-groomed mane, and with a shriek she found herself falling down. The princess wasn't normally this clumsy, and with a furious determination, she grabbed onto the only thing available: Lars' hair. It wasn't much use. It gave with the slightest yank and she tumbled to the ground. Wait. It gave. El's head whipped up to look. Oh dear...
 
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"Wha--!" Lars didn't have much time scream as the tug from below caused him to lose his footing and tumble forward. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he figured the hook would prevent him from falling all the way down.

But the ground was coming closer and closer, and he was still falling. He couldn't move, couldn't look back up. Even if he did, he'd see his hair flapping wildly in the air and no hook in vicinity. "HELP!" Just as he thought he was about to crush to his death, an idea sprung out of nowhere and he yelled down at El. "Bundle my hair! Catch me, with a, bundle of, MY HAIR!"
 
"You didn't have to tell me!" El shouted back grumpily, though honestly she was probably more stressed than angry. As soon as she'd seen him falling, she'd hastily gotten up and started shoving the layers of thick braids under where it seemed he was going to land. From that height, if she'd misjudged his landing he was toast. As he got closer, she took a few steps back and winced, hardly able to make herself look....
 
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The landing was painful, but not as painful as Lars had initially imagined. The shock-wave of the impact coursed through his body and paralyzed him for a minutes. He was left breathing heavily with sweating covering his forehead, and in truth he was terrified of moving a single muscle. What if his back was broken? His feet?

"Urgh, uhh, gneh..." The young man groaned as he pushed himself onto his back. Oh, fuck. He felt grass under him and he was staring right at the sky. Panic filled him, replacing the terror from the fall, and he sat upright with a wince. "I have to go back up!"
 
"No, no, no." El instructed hastily, grabbing him as he tried to push himself up. "Stay still." Her panic turning instead into urgency, and she began probing his chest and legs. "Tell me if any of this hurts. We have to make sure nothing's broken." After giving him a good poke, she also went to retrieve her things from behind the bush she'd hidden it. She pulled out her flask of water. It was always good to have in the case he'd hit his head.
 
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Lars breathed in and out as calmly as he could, counting to five with each inhale and exhale. He didn't mind El's probbing, but it felt so strange to have someone touch him without caring about whether it was proper or not. But the young woman's purpose was wholesome and it did not bother him as much as he thought it would.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, please..." Desperation was clear in his voice and he nonetheless let out a sigh of relief when she left to grab her things.

He'd never been down here. He was dressed lightly, a tunic and trousers and boots that were more for comfort than they were for practicality. The grass under his palms was humid and the earth was soft, the air itself was different from high up in his tower. When he looked up at El, there was a strange mix of fear and wonderment in his face. "What am I supposed to do now?"
 
"Do?" El asked in surprise, when he didn't seem to take her offer of water, and seemed to be insisting he was fine. She couldn't find anything wrong with him, nothing to fix, so she began putting on her armor and making sure her packs and weapons were all ready to go and nothing had been taken from them. "What do you mean? Just go back inside. You didn't just materialize one day into that tower, did you? Just use whatever way your... special friend managed to get in in the first place. Before uh... the hair method." She shrugged her pack onto one shoulder and gave him a look, very ready to leave, but feeling bad to just leave him on his own before knowing what he was about to do.
 
Lars looked away from the girl's face and pushed himself to his feet. He figured she must have been right. There definitely should be an entrance at the foot of this tower, otherwise how had he gotten there in the first place? He'd been through all the rooms and he had never found and doors or hidden traps that lead to the lower parts of the tower.

"Look, El. There IS no way back up. This is my... my first time here, outside, like this." Lars cleared his throat when he realized it was increasing in pitch. "Gothel isn't due back for a few more days, I'm stuck down here until she gets back..."
 
No way back up he said. Wow, he really had never been outside the tower. This Gothel character was sounding increasingly creepy. Just creepier and creepier. Sooooo not her problem, she reminded herself. The fact that he was stuck down there gave her pause. She really couldn't just leave him like this. At the same time, she couldn't stay, either. With neither of them having any idea how to get back up there, they were both just sitting ducks out here for wild animals or who knew what else come sundown. Just because other people would be hard-pressed to find it, didn't mean more dangerous things would, too. Plus, she needed to reach a village soon. Sell some things, buy some things, find work and proper food and lodging. El scowled at him, clearly not pleased, but she knew what the solution was going to have to be. "Alright, pretty-hair, it looks like you're coming with me. I'll drop you off at the closest village, okay? You'll be safe and it won't be hard for your... little friend to find you if you're looking." Hefting her pack once more she turned to leave. Just in case he was thinking of complaining, she added, "Or you can stay here by yourself. And get eaten."
 
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"Ea... Eaten, you say?" Any colour left in Lars' face drained as he looked at El with terrified eyes. He didn't want to get eaten, and avoiding that by going with the young woman seemed like the smartest thing to do. Surely, Gothel would come looking for him once she noticed he was gone. With a firm nod, Lars grabbed his hair and piled it up in his arms. To his displeasure, he found a handful of little twigs and dead leaves in it already, and he struggled to let them be rather than furiously comb his hair again. The corners of his lips twitched and he took a deep breath, not quite feeling the calm fill him yet. They had no time to waste, however, and so he started towards a random direction. "Let us be on our way then!"
 
Oh good. He was coming without any fuss. Only problem was, he was walking as if he knew where he was going, and he didn't. El pointed a bit to the right of where he'd headed. "The road is that way." Sighing heavily, she started moving. "Just... stay behind me, and if we run into someone, keep your mouth shut. It's bad enough you stand out with all that hair." The last comment was muttered in a disgruntled fashion, but was still clear enough for him to hear probably. "The closest settlement is a two-day's walk from here," she eyed him skeptically and paused for just a breath, "if we make good time. I'll keep pace with you, but don't expect for us to rest a lot besides meals." The princess reminded herself harshly that no, she was not allowed to abandon him on the side of the road if he got too slow or complainy, and started marching off, keeping an eye on him to make sure he wasn't falling behind.
 
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Blushing and frowning, Lars grumbled and avoided looking directly at the girl before moving in the correct direction. He was still holding his hair in thick bundles in his arms, so it gave him an excuse to cross his arms across his chest. It was truly terrifying being outside, but clearly this girl was absolutely crazy and probably some kind of scavenging rat who lived off mooching others... But there was something about her that gave the young man pause and made trusting her easy. "I know that, I'm not some kind of sissy princess you know."
 
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"Could've fooled me." El said, bluntly, not even bothering to look at him. They walked for some time, El following the subtle signs she'd left. As she had expected, in the daylight, the whole forest looked different, but there was that blue flower she'd left in that one branch, her handkerchief tangled in that bush, that dead log she'd passed on the way in with the branch that looked like a hand. She paid Lars little attention, trying with all her might to pretend he was not there, though he was crunching his way through the forest much too loudly for that to be the case.

They finally found it to the road, but had not made it more than a few steps before several men with black cloths covering their mouths jumped out of the forest, brandishing swords and bows. "Oh great." El said with an annoyed sigh, pulling her own sword from its scabbard and attacking the first man who got close.

"Stop!" One cried from behind her, and she whipped around to see one of the bandits had put a sword to Lars' neck. "Stop or this..." El had to tamp down the laughter that threatened to bubble up as the bandit gave Lars a weird look, "guy gets it. Drop your weapon."
 
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They hadn't walked for very long before Lars broke into a sweat, strands of hair sticking to his forehead and in his neck. He had to do something about this, it was messing up his beautiful hair and it would so very much stink by the end of the day. While trotting behind El, he began braiding sections of his beautiful hair, but it considerably slowed down his pace so he gave up for now - El said she wouldn't wait for him and he definitely did not want to--

"Wha--!" Before he could get a full word out, someone grabbed him from behind and something cold and sharp pressed on his neck. They were being attacked just as they'd gotten onto the road?!

Breathing heavily, the boy looked back at El and while panic was written all over his face, there was a touch of annoyance in his eyes. "Are those your friends? They are incredibly rude! Did you bring me out here to steal my hair?!"
 
El stared at Lars. The bandits stared at Lars. In fact, they may as well have been working together, because they appeared to be perfectly in sync in terms of how non-plussed they were by the accusation that they'd been out to steal his hair. One of the bandits tried to grab El to wrest her back, but she turned around and plowed her free fist into his face, breaking the spell of confusion Lars had left them all in. "Hey!" The bandit holding a sword to Lars said. "I told you to drop your weapon."

"You didn't say anything about letting your guys grab me, though." She snapped back, before addressing Lars. "Why in the name of the kingdom would I be teaming up with a bunch of two-bit bandits, who want to rob me, just to find a sissy princess in a tower with a creepy caretaker so that I could cut off his pointlessly long blond tresses?" She demanded. "They are incredibly rude, but again, bandits. Please tell me you've heard of bandits before."

The bandit in question was not looking pleased about being ignored and about El continuing to kick up a fuss with his guys, but there wasn't a lot he could do when El did not seem concerned at all about Lars' safety.
 
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A blush of indignation bloomed in Lars' face and he nearly forgot that there was a sword pointing at his neck. This... this annoying girl! It was her fault he was here, stuck outside his tower without the ability to go back up without Gothel's help! Her fault, her fault, her fault!

Gritting his teeth, the young man squinted his eyes at El and mumbled, "I'm not a sissy princess!" In a fit of embarrassment, he stomped heavily on the bandit's foot, hard enough to make the grown man wince and loosen his grip on the sword. Fearful of what the crazy bandit might do, Lars whimpered and repeated the stomping a second time and thrust both his elbows back into his stomach. He looked back at El with a terrified face that silently screamed DO YOUR THING.
 
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