Shut up, Cortana.

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LogicfromLogic

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She is driving me crazy.

So I got this new computer with some weird dohicky on it called Cortana. If you ever want useless searches done, ask Cortona, or don't, because she does it anyway.

Me: *typing away*
Cortana: *pops up*
Me: "Shut up, Cortana."
Cortana: "Looking up shut up."

I want to beat you. No, I did not ask for a definition of shut up, I asked you to shut up. Go away, you and your new witchery have no power here. Or you do, but what the hell are you? I know you are a search engine of some sorts but what the hell am I supposed to use you for? I have Google.

Anybody else have Cortona, and at least like her?
 
Nope, I uninstalled it off my tablet which is running Windows 10.

It's almost as bad as Siri, which my children discovered on my husband's work phone the other day. I walk into my room to hear "I'm sorry, I cannot find any contacts by the name of 'I farted'." Followed by my daughter telling Siri to go poop her pants. And this is why technology should not be given to children.
 
Have her on my tablet, my desktop, and a laptop.

Literally no problems. She's there. But never says a word.
 
It seems she's gotten worse after her rampancy kicked in.
 
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"Cortana, I need blog sites."
"Blood Types."
No you idiot, I know my damn blood type I said blog sites.
Log sites.
I hate you Cortona.
 
Cortana, Siri and I have shared...

...

...

...

Moments.
 
I disabled it upon installation of Windows 10.
 
These early AIs are pretty terrible. Just wait a few hundred years, and everything should be improved.
 
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These early AIs are pretty terrible. Just wait a few hundred years, and everything should be improved.
Cortana_gif_H4.gif
 
I turned Cortana off almost immediately after upgrading to Win10. We got into an argument, so I shut her up and showed her who was boss.
 
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