Almost two years ago now (!) I was in a relationship with someone. The relationship lasted for a bit over a year. This was before I came to terms with my sexuality, and was desperately trying to convince myself that I could be straight. I loved this boy - still do - because he was/is genuinely the kindest person I have ever met. I had so much fun with him. He was so sweet. Unfortunately, I broke his heart, in a bad way. I told him that I was gay, and then stopped talking to him, because I was scared. He tried to tell me that he still cared about me and still wanted to be friends, but I was so terrified that I just dropped off the face of the planet and hated myself for it. I still hate myself for hurting him. Since then all I've wanted to do was reach out to him, but I've felt like it was selfish on my part. He's probably moved on, and reaching out to him would only hurt him. The thing is: he hasn't removed me from anything. Not Steam, not LoL, not Skype. We're both mutually added as friends on all of these. I'm thinking that perhaps this means it would still be okay to reach out...? To say, 'hey, I'm a big fucking dick but I wanted to let you know that I still think about you and hope you're well; if you don't want to talk I completely understand, I just wanted to say sorry' ? I don't know. I feel selfish about him, but I miss him so much. He was such a good influence on my life. I still have a custom doll he had commissioned for me for my birthday. I just want some advice from folks that are unbiased towards the situation. Is this something I should do, or should I leave it alone?