Shit happens

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by FireEater, Apr 8, 2015.

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  1. I want to let you know in a small adventure of mine. I wonder if something similar happened to you. So, here we go:

    My parents own a summer cottage, a normal thing here in the country of 1000 lakes. Is an old cabin, in the middle of nowhere, with no electricity or running water, 10 meters from the lake. Uninhabited during winter. With a outdoor toilet, of course. So, last winter they asked me to go there and drop the snow from the roof, to make sure the snow weight will not collapse the roof. I drove there on Friday evening, wanting to start early on Saturday so I can get home, so it took me around 2 hours to get to the cabin, as the last part is just a narrow forest road, for more then 20 miles.

    It was like -25 Celsius (-13 F) outside, pitch black, so I went quickly inside and start a fire (we have a stove). Waiting for the place to warm up, I found some old biscuits and crackers into a cabinet so I eat them, looking around the place. I found some old porn magazines I use to take with me in summer vacations, so I looked over them (the mail part xD). lol

    After 45 minutes or so, it was so hot inside, that I removed my clothes and lay down on the couch only in my underwear. Then it start. My stomach was grumbling and I realized the biscuits and crackers I eat before were now backfiring. So I took my fatherĀ“s bathrobe on me, pulled his boots on and went outside. I shoved one of my shoe under the door, to keep it open and get some cold air inside and walked down the path towards the toilet, carefully not to slip on the icy mud.

    I was half way when a strong flurry went by me and I heard the outside door moving. I turned around quickly, and try to run towards the door when I slipped, fall down and hit the back of my head into a stone so hard, that I shit myself from the terrible pain. And then I heard the door shutting, keys being inside.

    So there I was, in the middle of nowhere, -25 outside, laying down, head hurt like hell, dressed in a old bathrobe, my underwear full of shit. I manage to stand up, a little groggy and walked back to the cabin. I had to broke a window to get in and not having running water proved to be an issue when trying to clean myself. I used some old towels and got myself clean, needless to say the smells inside the cabin together with the heat coming from the stove (and the fact I hit my head), it caused me to throw-up on the couch. At that point I lost it for the first time in my life. I just laughed, and laughed so hard, my stomach hurt, then I start crying, but laughing at the same time. It was the worst situation I ever been into.

    Anyway, this is a story I will always remember, something to share with my grand kids some day. :)
    #1 FireEater, Apr 8, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2015
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  2. This reminds me of a story myself.

    A small bird is flying South for the winter but gets caught in the winter rush early and becomes cold. Seeking a place to escape the cold the bird sees a fresh field free of snow and touches down on a fresh pile of dung. Warm and solid the small bird burrows its way inside and stays there throughout the winter, only emerging long enough to feed itself. Finally spring begins to roll around and the weather warms up nicely. The bird awakens one day ready to leave when suddenly the hoof of a bull stomps down on it, killing the bird immediately. Moral is, shit happens and/or don't trust bullshit. Or at least that's the way I see it.

    But yes sounds like for a moment you were at a rock bottom situation and didn't know what to do with yourself. Shitty underwear, cold on an uncomfortable house. Bleeding with a headache and body stinging from the reverberating pain. No pain pills, no running water to clean or have a drink. Completely removed from the luxury of life.

    Sounds like a super fun time.
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  3. I have no stories like this. ;__;

    That story, however, is freaking hilarious. >:3
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