Shipper on Deck! =D

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Fyrra, Sep 19, 2014.

  1. This is about shipping, incompatible orientation, and the implications of such things.

    It's amusing with fiction, but it's annoying with real people. I get that there are situations in fiction where two people would be better off as friends than as partners, and I do plan to take my own stories on that route myself (even if it kills my chances of getting a publisher because romance makes everything sell better), but what the hell is it with people who insist other people should become more than friends?


    I've got a friend I spend a lot of time with, and it's led to random people asking us if we're dating. Every week or so, there'd be another person. I'd say some weeks it doesn't happen, but some other weeks it happens more than once. This I don't mind, because it's fun to joke about, but with enough time I've run into some people who think they know me a little better. They think they know me better than I do, and can confidently say that I should get romantically involved with this person, despite my lack of attraction and the fact that for a large part of the friendship I've had somebody else to focus those kinds of emotions on. I've been letting it go for the past few months, because it's never been worth paying attention to. Still sort of isn't, but I feel a little bit gross right now.

    A friendly acquaintance of mine did the suggestion thing again, saying I'm my friend's type. It's probably true, but he isn't my type. Because it's difficult for a male to be my type, I've been shutting people down with the "Sorry, I'm a lesbian" rejection for a while now. I get that it doesn't exactly push guys away, but this friend of mine that people think I should be with respects it, and that's a big part of why we're friends.

    The classmate seems to have a different idea of what it means to be pretty damn gay. Apparently, to her, being a lesbian means "So get with your friend, get a girlfriend, and have threesomes!"

    Not something I'm completely against, but that's a bit too casually sexual for me, to say nothing of my lack of attraction to this friend. I told her I'm not that kind of person, so she said, "Fine, get a girlfriend and let him watch with a camera to record it."

    We both responded in unison, "That's disgusting!" - I can see where she's coming from with this shipping thing, because supposedly amazing friends make amazing partners, but no.

    So forum-faces, I have questions. What the hell is wrong with straight people, that they think homosexuality and promiscuity are congruent, and that it's completely okay to recommend that somebody (who didn't ask for suggestions) bend into bisexuality and get somebody of the opposite sex involved as the primary partner?

    And to a lesser extent, what are some ways to deal with this sort of thing besides asking "What the hell is wrong with you?"
  2. This is so infuriating. I hate when guys don't understand what "I'm a lesbian" means. It doesn't mean 'try harder,' it doesn't mean my sexuality exists solely for your sexual gratification, it doesn't mean I'll have sex with you if another female is present. And for the love of god, if someone else says "well aren't hands and fingers the same regardless of who they're attached to? Can't you just let [me, that guy] do that?" No! Stop. I get guys all the time asking how I could possibly know I'm gay if I haven't 'had dick' yet... I usually ask them the same question in reverse and it shuts them up.

    Anyway, I know your pain. I think the only person who 'ships' me with someone else is my mother, and she knows that both of us (my male best friend and I) are gay. She says "I know, but you can just marry each other and then have someone on the side!" No mom. Nope.

    If I had a way to get people to stop harassing me about my sexuality or treating it like a commodity I'd tell you... you just either get folks that stop the first time you say you're gay, or you get people that won't take anything short of "fuck off you piece of shit" for an answer, and then they call you a bitch.
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  3. "How do you know if you haven't had-"

    "If I cared about dick, I'd get one with extra features, like vibrations, and maybe not-looking-like-a-penis. Seriously: there's less drama, no risk of pregnancy or STDs, and it won't get bitchy when I want to hang out with my friends, or be alone, or have my favourite kind of food. If all you've got to offer is your equipment, you're outdone by a thirty dollar purchase."

    "But those aren't as good as the real thing!"

    "So either you've tested them on yourself, or you aren't qualified to make that statement. Congrats, you've got my attention: one of these options might give you a shot with me, but I will be bringing my arsenal, and the other option means you're either a manipulative bastard or an idiot, and therefor not worth my time."


    My favourite thing to tell a persistent guy is that he's got a really good chance if he goes through with a sex change. Usually shuts up the persistent heteros as well as the bi guys who would totally go for the horribly naughty stuff, but suddenly I'm being bitchy for insisting that the other person change themselves to suit my needs, as opposed to them trying to change me to suit their needs.

    The kicker is, this person wasn't somebody trying to get into my pants. This was another woman trying to get me more-than-friends with my friend, in an incredibly inappropriate and offensive way, by voicing beliefs that a lot of people tend to share regarding bi/pansexual folk and how they work. It's like these people can't understand that homosexuality means a person requires their partner to be of the same sex.

    ...Sex education really needs to be overhauled in schools.
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