Sh*t my Dad Says

All of these are said by my dad:

"Its better to be pissed off than to be pissed on."
"Head em' up move em' out." : when exiting the car.
"You make a better door than you do a window." : When view of tv is blocked.
"Chinese soup. Wanton." : When he is asked for something and the asnwer is No.


They aren't all necessarily funny…I'd say they are...quirky.
 
Dad: *Watching a bunch of bikini girls on television intently.*
Me: "Dad, aren't you a little old for them?"
Dad: "I ain't dead yet, am I?"
 
ME: Oh.... that girl's kinda cute...
Dad: Nice rack.
ME: No, that's a push-up bra. It's a lie.
 
Here's a throwback to Orochi that my dad actually says:

GET OFF MAH LAWN!
 
Me: Ok, seriously, can I have the Z? (Dotsan 280z, car)
Dad: It's falling apart.
Me: PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE?!
Dad: ....Your brother wants it too, what do you want me to do?
Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! HE'LL DESTROY IT! PLEASE!
Dad: You know I'm jewish. And yes, you can have the car.
 
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