Sh*t my Dad Says

C

Corvus Corax

Guest
Original poster
All of these are said by my dad:

"Its better to be pissed off than to be pissed on."
"Head em' up move em' out." : when exiting the car.
"You make a better door than you do a window." : When view of tv is blocked.
"Chinese soup. Wanton." : When he is asked for something and the asnwer is No.


They aren’t all necessarily funny…I'd say they are...quirky.
 
T

Tain

Guest
Original poster
Dad: *Watching a bunch of bikini girls on television intently.*
Me: "Dad, aren't you a little old for them?"
Dad: "I ain't dead yet, am I?"
 

Hydronine

The Murrstress
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
  1. Multiple posts per day
  2. 1-3 posts per day
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Advanced
  3. Prestige
  4. Douche
  5. Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
  1. No Preferences
Genres
Scifi, Fantasy, Modern, Magical, Horror, Noir, apocalyptic, Grimdark, yaoi, yuri, anything really.
ME: Oh.... that girl's kinda cute...
Dad: Nice rack.
ME: No, that's a push-up bra. It's a lie.
 
F

Fel of the Eternal Forest

Guest
Original poster
Here's a throwback to Orochi that my dad actually says:

GET OFF MAH LAWN!
 

Hydronine

The Murrstress
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
  1. Multiple posts per day
  2. 1-3 posts per day
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Advanced
  3. Prestige
  4. Douche
  5. Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
  1. No Preferences
Genres
Scifi, Fantasy, Modern, Magical, Horror, Noir, apocalyptic, Grimdark, yaoi, yuri, anything really.
Me: Ok, seriously, can I have the Z? (Dotsan 280z, car)
Dad: It's falling apart.
Me: PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE?!
Dad: ....Your brother wants it too, what do you want me to do?
Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! HE'LL DESTROY IT! PLEASE!
Dad: You know I'm jewish. And yes, you can have the car.