Seito-kai no Nichijō Seikatsu

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Ayano stopped and stood with the others of the council, looking at the door. She wasn't going to want to open it, knowing her she would do something wrong and they would come out and attack her. But, instead it seemed the president did something wrong and ended up kicking the door open. Just then, the raccoons started to come out of their new home. Ayano back up a bit, not wanting to be anywhere close, again, she didn't want to have to get another shot. Naoto seemed happy, but she was sure no one else was. What were they suppose to do now? "I'd prefer to run like the president said." Ayano then said, she didn't want to go staying around and seeing what they could do about these raccoons. Why couldn't they just call someone else to get the, they have people with actual jobs for that.
 
Katie came sprinting. "aaaaaAAAHH!" She screamed as she jumped over the group like a high jumper. She grabbed Naoto's 'grenade' from his hand and then landed elegantly on the ground, after which she stared at the item in her hand with terror. "Kisaragi-senpai, what exactly where you planning to do with this!?" She then looked at the horde of raccoons staring at her face, and she had the same reaction as Fujimoto, running behind the vice president's back and hiding.
 
Kiyomi was afraid for her life. Her eyes were rolling around like crazy, and her body was shaking. "I, um, I- I- here you go..." She said as she slowly bent down to hand a cookie to the raccoon closest to her. The raccoon sniffed it, then grabbed it with its paw. It looked as though ta was friendly, as it sniffed the cookie and lightly nibbled it. But suddenly, it violently ate it up. It looked at Kiyomi with an expression that said "MORE!" Her movements were shaky and slow, so as she tried to grab a cookie from the bag she dropped it, spilling them onto the ground. Then, several other raccoons surrounded her, eating the cookies she had dropped. And they all wanted more. "Kyaaa!" She screamed, and turned around to run away as fast as she could. About half of the raccoons followed her, and they vanished beyond school grounds.
 
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Naoto laughed merrily when Okimura took the thing. "Why, push you all into action, of course! Unless you want me to do something about these raccoons, someone's gotta-"

He watched in surprise as Ushiromiya offered cookies and was hoarded by the raccoons. Of course, she was chased out. Naoto shrugged. "Well, it's half done now, I suppose." He took a few steps closer to the raccoons. They seemed to sense danger and they went into a defensive stance. Some backed away. "Oh, they're not friendly at all." Naoto said, pouting. "Should I call animal control or should I just clean this up myself?"
 
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Kage gulped as she saw the president kick the door open, and he quickly stepped back a few feet from it. A huge raccoon with a torn ear and fangs coming out of it's mouth stepped out of the storage room. He listened to the president yell like a girl before backing up a few feet like he had done. His eyes widened as the large raccoon walked forward, and then more and more came from behind it. Thoughts of despair were racing through his mind. 'Oh god, we're all going to get rabies and die... holy shit...' Kage was so much in shock that he could not move, and just held the butterfly net by his side. Naoto then began to talk about how they were amazing before snapping photos. 'Man, what a messed up kid...' He turned back to look at Naoto before seeing the grenade like object, and gulped. Was he really going to throw that thing at the animals? The shrapnel would surely cut all of them as well. Ayano then stated that she would like to run, and Kage nodded at her comment. This issue was way bigger than they thought it was. They would have to call pest control. A scream signaled him to turn back once more as Katie jumped over Naoto's head before grabbing the grenade. A sigh of relief came from the Disciplinary Committee Chairman. But soon after, he went into panic mode again. Kiyomi bent down to give the raccoon a cookie, and it violently ate it up. The idol dropped all her cookies in shock, and the raccoons swarmed around her to eat them. He watched the idol run away and half of the raccoons followed her beyond school grounds. He then listened to Naoto's suggestion about animal control.

"Yes, oh god please call them. I'm gonna go and try help Bakemo-school idol."

Kage let out a yell as if he was a barbarian before raising the butterfly net over his head as if he were a barbarian. He ran after the other raccoons and Kiyomi, hoping to catch up with them before they got too far away from the school.​
 
Chiasa ran with Pucchan in front as if her was pulling her. "My legs won't go any further," she panted. Just as she was about to collapse more yelling was heard and this time it sounded like it was coming towards her! Chiasa looked up as a girl ran by being chased by raccoons. She jumped up and ran out of their path. "Pucchan... Did you see that- Huh?" A boy with a butterfly net held over his head came running by as well, shouting like a crazed person.

"What... Pucchan, what's going on?"

"You got me..."

Chiasa stared after them. Why were there raccoons chasing that girl? Why was there so much yelling? She steeled her resolve then continued to run to the gym. She was worried for those students but the guy had a net so maybe he could ward off the animals. She tarted to regret the cheery, nonviolent cosplay she had chosen that day. Once she reached the gym she froze at the sight of the raccoons, eyes wide. "Um, what's going on here?" she asked, her voice shaky and uneven.
 
"Whaaa!!!" Fujimoto howled as his human shield ran off with a horde of raccoons pursuing her. Now he had nothing to hide behind and he had to deal with pyscho-Kisaragi-san as well! "Kisaragi-san, what is that? Is it a grenade?!" He shrieked. Please say it's knockout gas, please say it's anything but a real grenade! He thought frantically. Suddenly he felt some brush against his leg (he was still wearing a girl's uniform from when he was being Kasumi), he looked down slowly, eyes wide. "UUUWAAAAAAHHHHH!" He screamed when he saw the raccoon standing right next to him, with it's creepy arms wrapped around his leg. "Nooo! No no no no no noooo!" He shrieked, shaking his leg this way and that and moving backwards quickly. Suddenly he felt himself falling as he slammed into somebody. [Chiasa]
 
Naoto took out his phone and pressed a button as he came closer to the raccoons again. Some of the creatures backed up into the room even more as Naoto held out a hand to try to pet them. He sighed again. "Why do animals hate me so much?" Even the friendliest dogs bark at him. Someone on the other end clicked. He was apparently not calling animal control. "Nacchan to the boss, please."

"Yamashita-han, good day! Sorry to disturb you, sir. Do we have a need for raccoons?" He spoke pleasantly as if to a superior of sorts. He waited for a moment. "Understood." He said with a nod and he waited again.

"Good day, I'd like to report an emergency. There's a raccoon infestation in our school. There's about a whole tribe of them here and it's definitely causing disruption. Yes, some are chasing a girl as we speak. Right away, please. What? I'm from the student council. No, this isn't a prank. Excuse me-" Another click, they hung up. Naoto looked surprised. "They think it's a prank or it's some breach of security. I never took animals from them, I have no idea why they're mad." He told Fujimoto with a casual shrug. Before anyone could protest, he squat down-alarming the raccoons inside into creeping away into the room more- and dialed again.

"This is Naoto Kisaragi. I work for the Yamashita brothers." He spoke. With his back turned, they can't see the emotionless cold in his face but his voice was still polite. "I'm reporting a problem, please get to it or my boss won't be pleased. At all."

He stood up, turned with a bright smile and gave a wave. "Animal control's coming! They advised that we keep students away from this whole area until they come."
 
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Chiasa gasped and tried to catch said person but her legs were too weak from running all over the place and though she had stopped the fall for a second she ended up falling with them. "Ow~ Are you okay?" She rubbed her arm and looked at the student. They were wearing a girl's uniform but looked a lot like a boy in their terrified face. She looked at the raccoon on his leg and shrieked. Pucchan was shoved toward it and his little puppet hands smacked the little mammal on the head a few times.

"Stay away from Rino!" he yelled as he "punched" the animal.

Beyond all the yelling she heard someone talking as if to make phone call. Right away, please. What? I'm from the student council. No, this isn't a prank. Student council? "You're the student coucnil?!" She looked around at the small group of students, shock evident in her expression. "Oh no, I'm so sorry or being late!" she blurted out, ignoring the situation and the swinging puppet on the end of her arm.
 
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Kiyomi was getting seriously out of breath. Her legs were filling up with lactic acid, and it was painful to lift them. She was running along a dirt road lined with trees, and at the edge there was a steep decline leading to a river. With the last of her strength, she managed to heave herself up a tree. Sitting on a branch, she loudly and heavily catched her breath. The raccoons sat at the foot of the tree, and she knew they would be able to climb it. But they just sat there, waiting for her to get tired and climb back down. Then, she saw Kouta running towards her with the bug net raised above his head, like a knight with his sword held high, ready for battle. "Takamuri-kuuuun!" She yelled. "Please help me! I'm scared!.." Her voice wavered slightly on those last words.
 
Katie thought about going after Kiyomi and Kage, but it was probably best to stay in the group and try to solve the problem at hand, which was several large, very angry mammals. If pest control was going to come, then they should probably try to contain the raccoons. Which would have been already taken care of, had Fujimoto not kicked open the doors of the equipment shed. She ran inside, and waved her arms. "Hey you, stupid-face! Yes, I'm talking to you with the chipped ear! Come in here and fight me if you dare!" Her plan was to jump out of a small window on some crates stacked against the wall, that is, if the raccoons would chase after her inside. The others could then close the doors and the raccoons would hopefully be stuck inside. If it worked out as planned, she only hoped she would fit through that window...
 
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Forget her facade, Ayano was ready to just run away scared from these creatures and seeing others doing that, well that was incentive enough. She went and turned her foot to leave, though once she turned she suddenly found herself fall to the ground. She flipped herself over so that she was not lying on her back, but lifting herself on her arms with her hands on the ground. She could see a few of the raccoons staring at her, but they seemed to be suddenly interested in Katie. Ayano let out a sigh and started to back up slowing like doing one of the crab walks away from the raccoons. It probably wasn't the best idea though for Katie to try and get their attention.
 
Fujimoto breathed a sigh of relief when the person he had bumped into --she looked familiar...! She was the historian!--fended off the raccoon with a puppet. Kind of an odd choice for a weapon, butt he wasn't about to start arguing.
When Katie began drawing the attention away from them to her, Fujimoto scrambled to her feet and tried to figure out where she was going with this. Was she planning to become a martyr? Was she going to give them a chance to run and get eaten alive by raccoons?! What a brave girl she is! Fujimoto though, a tear almost coming to his eye, until he realized that was absolutely stupid and she probably wasn't doing that.
We should probably invest in learning a non verbal code to communicate with each other. He thought for a second as he watched Katie.
 
Okay, that didn't go well... Kouta had stopped short of the storage room when he saw the president kick the door open, more from surprise at first. Things unfolded so quickly that it caught him off guard. "C'mon, there's gotta be something that'll work. Think, Takaki, think! What would Ikari do in this mess?" Using food had backfired, but he still didn't want to jump to violence - it might just make the animals more aggressive - but at this rate, people were going to get hurt. There was no time to lose! If we just had something big to trap them in... It was the gym storage, right? With the infestation, maybe they hadn't put anything away, and there was something useful around? While the creatures were looking elsewhere, he ran around the back to check.

A moment later, he came jogging over to the group with a net draped over his shoulders and clenched in both hands. "Hey guys! Let's give this a try! The team's not using it, right?" Of course, while he was distracted, a raccoon chose that moment to try and bite his ankles. A startled shout broke free and he kicked at it with his other foot on instinct, then hopped onto the free leg and tried to shake it off. "Come after me if you want! I'll face all of you if that's what it takes!" Apparently Kouta's sense of danger was wired in reverse or something, because he didn't seem scared at all. As he spoke, he kept trying to kick his way free, to the point where his left leg was a blur with an additional brown-colored blur near the base.
 
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Kage was getting slightly tired as followed Kiyomi along the dirt road. It seemed to go on forever but the Disciplinary Committee Chairman had to keep going on for another one of their own. He stopped a few feet behind the raccoons and widened his eyes as he watched the school idol climb up a tree. The raccoons sat down and waited for Kiyomi. What course of action was he going to take next? The delinquent gulped before yelling, grabbing the attention of the raccoons. He brought his net down, catching about two in one stroke. He held his now captives over his shoulder while the other raccoons started to hiss at him. One jumped up and he brought up his leg, sending it flying far away into a tree. More and more started to surround his legs and he got slightly nervous. His nervousness hit it's max level when he heard a tearing sound behind his ear. The two raccoons inside of the net had tore their way out. All Kage was left with now was a stick. Another raccoon jumped for him and he swatted at it, sending it flying past the face of Kiyomi.

"Hey... this is just like baseball! I could get used to this!"

As more and more raccoons jumped at him, he 'batted' them away and watched as they flew into various parts of other trees. One more raccoon stood there in front of him, and it snarled at him. He threw away his stick as if he were some warrior in an anime, about to face the last villain. He pointed his index finger at the last raccoon before yelling.

"Come get me!"

It did just that. The raccoon jumped on Kage's chest and bit into his arm. A yell came from Kage as he grabbed the raccon at the fur by it's neck before tossing it into a nearby brush. He gave a slight grin at the school idol before stumbling into the tree she was in.

"Oh god... I hope I don't get a disease or something..."​
 
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Kiyomi slipped off her branch and landed on the grass with a thud. Her shoulders were hopping up and down, and she turned to Kage and started bawling into his chest. "Takamuri-kun, I was so scared! I just don't know what I've gotten myself into, this... This isn't what I signed up for!" She then looked at his arm with a shocked expression. "You're bleeding! Takamuri-kun, if we don't get you to a hospital you might get tetanus, or rabies, or the bubonic plague or something..." She took a large napkin from her pocket and wrapped it around his arm, tying it down with the ribbons in her hair. It was probably a bit of an overkill for such a small wound, but she was sincerely worried for him. After all, it was while protecting her that he had gotten hurt. She was about to call an ambulance when she realized her phone was still in the student council room. She picked up a small whistle from her pocket, cleared her throat, and blew into it. It didn't produce any sound, much like those dog whistles. At first nothing happened, but then, there was a rumbling in the ground as a large mass of people stormed down the dirt road. They ground to a halt before Kiyomi. "What do you need, milady!?" They shouted in unison. A school full of crazed fans was useful, sometimes. "This man is hurt, I need you to carry him to the nurses office ASAP!" The mob of fans saluted, and then proceeded to haul Kage up, carrying him above their heads. Kiyomi jumped up and sat down next to him. "No dawdling! Full speed ahead!" The mob picked up in speed, rushing back to the school.
 
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More flashes. Naoto's camera was out again and he was leisurely taking pictures of how the whole thing was being handled. It was then that the Animal Control that Naoto had called came. A team of five men with the right equipment and whatnot began gathering the raccoons, undaunted by their mutated size and mobster-ish look. One of the men came jogging to Naoto. "I'm Asou of the Animal Protection and Consultation Center. You must be Kisaragi-san?"

"Correct." Naoto said, sounding rather cold. "My boss won't know of your incompetence today." He said quietly as he wrote something down on his notepad.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing. I leave this situation to you and your team." Naoto smiled, back to his usual self. Sure enough, the team was quick to contain all the raccoons, obviously used to such things.

"Kaichou, looks like everything's fine now." Naoto walked over to Fujimoto. I'll have these shots developed so they can be filed by the secretary." He tapped his camera.
 
Fujimoto nodded and whimpered out a "Okay" to Kisaragi. Snot and tears were dribbling down his face and he looked haggard and somewhat traumatized. He was never EVER going up against wild animals ever again. Especially raccoon. He started to get to his feet when suddenly the ground began to shake, and turned around to see a mob of students rushing into the school carrying what looked like a body. Fujimoto stared. Blinking slowly. "Not my problem." He finally said, turning back to watch the animal control personnel and acting like he didn't see what he just saw.

And so the student council had completed their first task. Hopefully their next assignments would be a lot less...insane.

 
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E P I S O D E 2
Shoe Bandit
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Fujimoto was in a rotten mood. He had woken up late, his sister had gobbled up all of the toast--the greedy monster!--and then when he had gotten to school he realized that he had brought the wrong wig! He had wanted to go for the cutesy ringlet look but he had grabbed the foresty wild child look instead! The whole day was ruined and it was going to be a crappy, crappy day full of crap--
"M...M-m-m-m...MY SHOESSSSS!!!!" Fujimoto screamed his voice distorting and resembling a horror movie screech. He had come down to get his shoes so he could head for the student council room, but when he reached the row where his locker was, it was wide open and his beautiful pink and glittery cowboy boots were gone! His lame gym sneakers were still there but his lovely boots...He almost broke down in tears right then and there. In fact he would have if not for the rising cries that were happening around him.
"My locker's open!"
"My heels are gone!" Some girls screamed but it wasn't just them. It seemed some boys had had their shoes stolen as well. Cries of "I just bought them!" rose up around him and Fujimoto suddenly found himself mobbed by students.
"President what's going on?! Where are our shoes? President what are you going to do about this!" When Fujimoto finally broke free of the mob of frantic cries and rage, he ran all the way to the council room, flinging the door open and launching himself into the room.
 
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But he wasn't met with the usual sight. Instead, he saw Kiyomi sitting at a Kotatsu, watching a superhero anime on on an old wide screen TV while eating oranges. The regular table had been propped up against the wall, next to the closet."Oh, prez, it's you" She said with her mouth stuffed full of juicy orange. She gulped it down and threw the peel onto a large stack of peel next to her. "Come, sit down, there's too much commotion going on outside. Anyway, after gym class I noticed my sneakers were gone, so I had some guys from the video club carry me up here, and then I had them roll this old can in here. Not much, but better than nothing. Oh, and the tea club had a spare kotatsu, so I borrowed it. Pretty neat, huh?"
 
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