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Saw a man die today.

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by SlamifiedBuddafied, Apr 19, 2015.

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  1. Saw a man die today. Couldn't do a thing but call 911. Wrapped around the end of a guardrail off a motorcycle.
    Just couldn't move, I couldn't help.
    I just hope he didn't know what happened. I just wish I could have done something. Anything.
    I know some of us can take this blow but, this is the second time I've seen people die in road accidents.
    Both times I could have done something, but I couldn't.
    I just couldn't.
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  2. It happens, man. People freeze up, they fail to help when they can, it's only natural to respond that way during a traumatizing event like that. I don't have much experience with death, myself, aside from my grandma passing away nearly 4 to 5 years ago; so all I can say really is try not to dwell on it too much. Sure, maybe if you had done something that poor guy might still be alive and well. If. But you don't know that, now do you? For all you know, there was nothing you could have done; hell, I'm willing to bet that's the case. The best thing you can do right now is forget about it and move on; easier said than done, I know, but it's not like you're under a time limit. Well, I suppose the limit would be your remaining lifespan, but I digress. I wish you the best of luck, mate.
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  3. That's so horrible! ): *huggles*
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  4. There is nothing that prepares the average person who does not work in law enforcement, the fire services, the military and/or as an EMT/paramedic first responder/in the medical field to see something like that. Even then, there is an emotional wall that is built around those moments to keep doing the job, because normal people recognize that for the life-changing event it is for any regular, empathetic human being. An entire cadre of understanding support often exists among brothers and sisters to lean on as well - it's not easy at all, even if you do this kind of work every day.

    I have seen people die (quite recently at that), and I have seen people dead in horrible ways. Nothing makes the realization you are witnessing the end of a real human life any less heart-wrenchingly profound or, in some ways, terrifying. For whatever it is worth Slammified, I can almost guarantee there was nothing you could have done for the man you saw. Even if you had done "something" - whatever that might have been - there is nothing to say you would not have made his injuries or pain even worse accidentally, even with the very best and most noble intentions.

    I would tell you not to be so hard on yourself but feelings are what feelings are, and you may as well tell water to just get itself together and flow uphill for all the likelihood you can simply "turn off" emotions. Still, you should know that as someone who has seen a lot of death, there is no judgment for what you did from here at the very least. All I will ask is that you please be kind to yourself, and go gently with your soul. You called 911, you got people to the scene who actually could do something if there was anything at all that would have helped that man. You didn't drive or walk away and abandon him. You didn't ignore what you saw and wait for "someone else" to call for help. That right there is about a thousand times more than some witnesses/passers-by would ever do if they were in your position.
    #4 Muirgen, Apr 20, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2015
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  5. That is a really tough situation you have going there. :/

    And like already said by others without having any proper training you did the best you could have done, you stuck by and got emergency services to the scene. People who are trained on this stuff and know what to do without risking it being even worse.

    You have done nothing wrong in this circumstance, you were simply thrown into extreme and unfair situation.
    Not all things we witness we are able to fix, and beating yourself up as if you could have isn't healthy for you.
    You did everything right, that's something to be proud of.
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  6. welcome to my call nights

    the truly strange thing? you see it often enough, and you get used to it

    in a way, its a good thing, because when you're used to it you think only in terms of strategies, protocols, and interventions rather than panicking or freezing
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  7. That's hard, I'm really sorry to hear that. Keep in mind that it wasn't your fault. These things happen, and we feel helpless to do anything when they do, but you've got to keep moving on. reaching out for support from your community like you are here is the first step to healing.
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  8. Well, don't think of the "what if's". You saw a human die and need to just take a moment to talk about it to someone.

    Hey, think of it in a positive way, you called help as soon as you saw it happened. They came and they tried to saw the man's life. You helped under the circumstances that you were in and he might of been thankful for the help. And you didn't ran away for the scene and didn't called for help (which some people would of done).

    My tip is that you need to talk about this event to a family member, a friend, or someone that deals with emotions daily. Don't beat yourself up and think in a positive way. Maybe, if you're religious, you could pray to God or talk to a pastor about it. Of course, if you're not religious, then you can just avoid this.

    I am sorry that you're going to this and I hope that you heal someday.
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