[Samuel x Roman]

r o m a n
Roman had begun to feel so sick when he was driving to the store that he had almost had an anxiety attack. What if Samuel didn't forgive him? What if they broke up because Roman had been being a cunt? What if this ruined everything? The loud sound of a honking car had brought him back to his senses and he had proceeded to go to the store like he had planned.

He picked up toothpaste, coffee and berries, as well as a package of mocha chocolates and a cool pair of stripey blue socks because he felt so terrible for being an asshole to Samuel. He knew that buying things for his boyfriend wouldn't solve the problem, but he felt it was better than coming home with nothing for Samuel. That would feel wrong.

When Roman got home and Samuel immediately asked for a hug, Roman let out a sigh of relief so deep that Samuel could probably hear it from the other side of the room. He made his way over, setting down all the bags on the coffee table and sat down next to his boyfriend. He wrapped his thin arms around Samuel's shoulders and buried his face in those gorgeous chocolate locks, inhaling the scent, never wanting to let go.

"I'm sorry. I was a total fucking asshole to you and you were right. I just hate religion so much that I wasn't willing to hear anything positive about it. If you want to teach religious studies I won't stop you. With those ideas and beliefs you listed, you'll be amazing at it, and exactly who kids need to learn from."
 
Roman felt a little cold and you could smell the evening air on him, but he was Roman and it was familiar and nice and Samuel never wanted to fight with him again, because just feeling Roman's hug made him know he had probably hurt and made Roman feel bad too. But he knew they would fight again eventually and it was good to know that they could do it and still love each other just as much afterwards, that was important.

"Thank you," Samuel murmured and pressed himself just a little closer, it meant a lot for Samuel that Roman could admit he had been wrong, growing up Samuel hadn't gotten much of that. If his father had disagreed with him it was always Samuel who was wrong no matter what, it was nice to know that wasn't always the case, "I'm sorry too, for raising my voice, I know religion is a sensitive subject for you, I should at least have tried to stay a little calmer, I'm not very good at controlling my anger,"

Samuel knew where he got that from and he absolutely hated it, but that was who he was and he couldn't do much but to be happy that he at least didn't get angry often.

"It's just… I feel like if I did teach religious studies I could do some good, because of my background," Samuel pulled away a little from the hug so he could look at Roman while talking, calmly now, choosing every word with care because he didn't want a repeat of what just happened, "but it's not something I have my heart set on, it was just an idea. I think I could do kind of the same thing with parts of social studies and history anyways. I love you, I don't want to spend every day of my adult life doing something that makes you uncomfortable, and I think you have a right to be uncomfortable with religion, both of us do,"
 
r o m a n
Roman nodded along with everything Samuel said. His boyfriend was right and he had beeen right from the start. Roman had caused the problem and he knew it. Roman sighed and kissed Samuel on the top of the head. He most definitely did not like fighting with his beloved boyfriend.

"I ... thank you," Roman mumbled. He would be lying if he said it wouldn't make him uncomfortable if Samuel taught religious studies. It would probably drive him insane. That being said, if Samuel really did want to teach the subject, he wouldn't stop him. And he was probably train himself to keep his frustrations in check.

Roman leaned forward, picked up one of the bags and set it in his boyfriend's lap, before returning that arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry," he said again with a small sigh. "And chocolates and socks aren't going to make everything better but I figured they wouldn't hurt."
 
"Wow I should get angry more often," Samuel chuckled, clearly joking, nothing could make fighting with Roman worth it. But it was still a nice gesture that wasn't going to go unappreciated. Samuel moved to but his legs over Roman's again and leaned in in the way they had been sitting before Samuel had mentioned religious studies at all. After taking the chocolates out of the bag Samuel pressed a kiss to Roman's neck and mumbled, "Let's share?"

Samuel wore the socks Roman had gotten him the next Friday. He didn't have any lectures that day but he was working later in the evening, meaning he wouldn't get to see much of his boyfriend, so, to avoid missing him too much Samuel had first decided to wear the socks and then just straight up go out and get some KFC and brought it over to the tattoo parlour so they at least could have lunch together.

It was around twelve o clock, which was lunch time and thus Roman probably wouldn't have any appointments or drop-ins or whatever to be in the way of them eating before the food got too cold. Right as he got inside Samuel was told Roman was in his tattooing room. What he saw when he opened the door was not at all what he expected though and rather than the nice and pleasant "hello" he would have greeted Roman with his words came out completely panicked.

"Roman, what the fuck are you doing? Holy shit," What he was witnessing was Roman, tattoo machine in hand, needle to his wrist, tattooing himself.
 
r o m a n
Roman was sick of not having tattoos.

Every day he looked at people's tattoos, some of which he did himself, and felt sick with jealously because he couldn't print the intricate designs on his own skin due to his stupid bleeding disorder. No one else was complaining -- no one else had even mentioned it. But Roman was sick of not having tattoos.

He had known for a long time that he could get small tattoos, but nothing bigger than, say, a computer mouse. The pain would get far too much for him, he would bruise too badly and the chances of bleeding were far too high. But he could get small tattoos. And so, that Friday afternoon, he disappeared into his studio and started to tattoo himself.

He had always wanted the Deathly Hallows sign on his left wrist so that was what he did. He found that actually tattooing himself wasn't as difficult as people had him believe, but holy fucking shit it hurt. He had a low pain tolerance anyway, but to have the pain at such an intensity in such a sensitive area of his skin was almost unbearable. But he did it anyway because he really fucking wanted a tattoo.

Luckily he had just pulled away to redip his needle when Samuel came in, because Roman jumped and probably would have stabbed himself if he had been actually tattooing. "Jesus Christ," he said irritably, giving Samuel a reproachful look, but it softened pretty quickly when he saw that his boyfriend had been cute and brought him lunch. Roman's face was red from the pain but he smiled, turned back to his wrist and continued anyway.

"I am tattooing myself," Roman answered. He had finished the two slanted lines of the triangle, so he had finished two fifths of the tattoo. It was thick and bold, and resembled the necklace worn by so many of the characters in the books.
 
"You can't just tattoo yourself like this. Does anyone know you're doing this? What if you start bleeding and no one's here to help you," Samuel said in the same panicked but not as loud and jarring tone as before.

He knew Roman technically could get small tattoos and that he probably would get a couple of them eventually. He was overreacting right now and if he got a couple of minutes he would probably calm down and see that this was far from the most dangerous thing he had seen Roman done. Clearly beaten by things like playing tennis that one time and playing quite roughly with Malfoy.

He put aside the food and walked a little closer to see what Roman was doing and if his wrist looked okay, as if he wouldn't already know if this had caused Roman to bleed. It was the deathly hallows sign. Roman loved Harry Potter just as much as Samuel and suddenly Samuel willed himself to calm down even quicker. Roman also loved tattoos, he had wanted them for years and Samuel had seen him struggle so much with the fact that he couldn't But now he was getting one and this was probably a big moment for him. Samuel didn't want to ruin that.

Samuel sighed and got a chair and sat down at a distance far enough not to disturb but close enough to see his boyfriend work, at least he could be there if something happened now, "…Sorry for scaring you, that looks really painful, are you doing okay?"
 
r o m a n
"I'm fine," Roman said through gritted teeth. The pain intense, but so was Roman's own desire for a tattoo, so he didn't care. He worked his way around the white hot burn of the needle against his skin.

"Travis knows what I'm doing." Roman neglects to mention that Travis only knew because he had walked in on Roman doing it not half an hour before Samuel had gotten there. "Travis!"

Travis came in and leaned against the doorframe. "Have you accidentally killed yourself yet?"

"No. Please inform Samuel that I will be fine." Roman knew Samuel wasn't extremely panicked anymore but he also knew that he would appreciate the second opinion.

Travis rolled his eyes at Roman and looked up at Samuel. "He'll be fine. As much as I think it'd be easier for him to let one of us do it, he's going to be fine. I think he's doing it for sentimental purposes."

"Mhm." Roman didn't look up from his wrist as he began to fill in the bottom line of the tattoo.

Travis gave Roman an unreadable look, before he turned and walked out of the room. Roman was silent for a few more minutes as he started the lower line of the symbol -- he had already outlined the tattoo and now just needed to fill it in with long strokes of his needle. He got about halfway to the circle before he finally let out a breath he had been holding for far too long, lowered his head for a moment, then decided he wanted to take a break to recuperate from the pain a little bit.

"Ugh." Roman took off his gloves, ran his hand through his sweaty hair and looked up at Samuel. "Okay, let's have lunch."
 
Samuel supposed things were okay if someone else knew and thought it was okay so he didn't object to the tattooing anymore. He did however almost wince several times because of the pain he was seeing his boyfriend suffer though. He knew Roman was more sensitive to pain than most people because things seemed to hurt more for him due to his illness. It really spoke lengths about how much he wanted this with how much pain he was suffering through.

Samuel let out a small breath alongside Roman when he finally stopped what he was doing and suggested they'd go have lunch. He was glad to know Roman at least was reasonable enough to take a break and recover a little.

"Kay," Samuel said, voice happy because he truly was happy for his boyfriend despite all the worries and how painful it seemed, "It's probably good for you to get some energy before finishing it."

He went to grab the food and pressed a kiss to Roman's cheek before they headed to the break room. Had Roman not been mid tattoo Samuel would have suggested maybe going somewhere else to eat the fast food, but sometimes things didn't work out as planned and Samuel honestly didn't mind eating in the break room of the parlour either.

"Are you actually doing it yourself because you threatened everyone we know to murder them if they didn't get their tattoos from you and now you can't be a hypocrite?"
Samuel joked as he placed the food out in front of them, he knew it really was for sentimental reasons, as Travis had said but this reason was funnier.
 
r o m a n
Roman was starving. He leaned his left hand against his knee and picked up a piece of chicken with his right, biting into it and savouring the delicious fatty taste as it filled his mouth. He hadn't eaten since breakfast, and since he was the kind of person who was almost always eating, that meant he was near ravenous by the time lunch came.

They were alone in the break room. Travis had a client, it was Val's day off and Mick was out on his lunch break. Meaning Roman was free to discuss his reasons with his boyfriend without worry of being overheard.

"Yeah, totally," Roman joked. He had already cleaned off his first piece of chicken and was now on his second. He slowed down now that he wasn't starving. "No ... I'm doing it myself because it's like I'm beating my haemophilia. It's the only thing stopping me from getting all the tattoos I want, so ... it's like a personal triumph. I'm sorry if I scared you."

Roman stopped talking and ate his chicken as he thought about it. It really meant a lot to him to tattoo himself. To have someone else do it would be like giving up, giving into the illness that stopped him from doing what he wanted. By doing it himself, he was regaining control of his own body.

Roman finished his second piece of chicken and picked up his third. He always got three pieces of Original Recipe Chicken, two Wicked Wings and a large chips, unless they were getting dinner, in which case they usually got a big bucket.

"Did you use your psychic abilities to sense that I was hungry?"
 
"I want to say yes but it doesn't take a psychic to know that you're hungry. You're always hungry." Samuel chuckled lovingly and nibbled some on his own chicken. He was very happy he had gone the route of KFC that day, Roman deserved his favourite after all that pain.

"Sorry for overreacting, I know you're tougher than people think, I just didn't expect to see that today," Samuel said, a small smile playing on his lips, now that the initial shock was over he wasn't really worried anymore, "But I stand a hundred percent behind you as the very supportive boyfriend that I am,"

He gave Roman a silly little thumbs up. Even if Roman did start bleeding while making this, which he probably wouldn't, it actually probably wouldn't be too bad if he got to his EpiPen quickly. The worst that would hurt him was probably emotionally. He was, as he had said, doing this to beat his haemophilia and Samuel just wanted him to have this moment so bad, he deserved to beat his illness this once.

"And you're excused because it's the deathly hallows sign, It's going to look really cool and I'm gonna stay here until you're done because I really want to see it,"
 
r o m a n
Roman smiled and gently nudged his boyfriend's foot with his own. "Best boyfriend, ten out of ten, would recommend. Well, actually, no, I wouldn't recommend, you're all mine."

Once they were both finished their lunch, they washed their hands, disposed of their rubbish and went back to Roman's studio. Roman sat down and put his glove back on, sighing deeply before turning his machine back on. He had seen many clients bring in music or books or games or whatever to keep them distracted, but he obviously couldn't do that, he was the tattoo artist.

"Here we go," Roman murmured, picking up his needle and bringing it to his skin again.

He talked with Samuel to ease the pain a little, chattering about nonsense and random topics while Roman worked on the tattoo. But it was obvious that his speech was strained, that the pain was getting to him. His face was a light red and his forehead had broken out in a little sweat.

Roman had just finished the vertical line and was about to start one half of the circle when his hand slipped and the side of the needle bumped into his skin. Roman immediately set it down on the table and held his wrist up in a panic, thinking that he had stabbed himself. He searched desperately for any sign of blood and sighed in relief when he found none.

"Oh my God I thought I'd nicked myself," he said to Samuel. He turned off his machine and leaned his arm against the tattoo chair, resting his head on top of it. He then turned it to look at Samuel with tears swimming in his eyes. "It hurts."

But I'm almost there, hung between them, left unsaid. Roman needed confirmation that he could do it. He needed Samuel to tell him that it would be okay.
 
Soon lunch was over and Roman was back to tattooing. Samuel casually conversed with Roman, not asking about the pain he clearly could see his boyfriend going through because he knew he was using talking as a way to distract himself from it.

When Roman suddenly stopped for a moment, terrified expression on his face, Samuel could practically feel his heart stop until he realised Roman had interpreted what had happened wrong and that he actually wasn't hurt at all. It must have been terrifying and the pained expression of pain in Roman's word told how hard this truly was. But it was what he wanted, that much was clear too. He just needed a small push to continue and Samuel would gladly try to provide him with that.

Samuel scooted his chair over a little closer, whipped some of the small beads of sweat of from his boyfriend's forehead and then kissed his cheek gently.

"You can always finish it another day, but I know you can do it, there isn't much left, just a little more and you'll be done and you will have your first tattoo," he said this in a very gentle and quiet voice and had cupped Roman's face with one of his hands and was now gently rubbing his thumb along his cheek, "I'm so proud of you Roman, really, I am, even if you would have nicked yourself you I know you would have been able to come back and finish it in a week or two, you're really strong for doing this."
 
r o m a n
Samuel's reassurance really helped. Knowing that Samuel had that kind of faith and confidence in him gave Roman the strength to sit up, wipe his forehead off with his hand pick up his needle again. He gave Samuel a kiss to the top of the head, and then one to the lips.

"Stay. Please," he breathed, before he turned back to his wrist and brought the needle to his skin again.

This was the last little part of the tattoo and somehow that made the pain worse. He was so close yet so far. After spending the last hour and a half or so on this tattoo, the skin around it was getting bruised slightly and it would probably worsen overnight but he had known that would happen. So he just needed to finish.

And he did. By the time he closed the circle of the Resurrection Stone and joined it with the Elder Wand he was actually crying slightly, but he didn't care. He finally set down his needle, turned off his machine and leaned back into his boyfriend's chest, letting out a long, deep, shaky breath.

"All done," he said, mostly to himself. Then he chuckled and looked up at Samuel. "And you were here watching me lose my tattoo virginity, you fucking perv," he joked weakly.
 
"Well by that logic you technically took my tattoo virginity by tattooing me, so you can't really talk," Samuel joked back, a small smile on his face, it was always hard to completely smile seeing Roman be in pain, especially so bad he was crying, but he had done it and this was a very happy moment.

Samuel very gently placed his hand on Roman's upper arm, gently let it run down close to, but not really touching his wrist, he had a feeling any touch too close to it would hurt. The skin around the tattoo was a little bruised but the lines were clean and straight, it looked absolutely perfect despite the pain Roman had been in while making it.

He moved his hand back to gently rub his arm instead, hopefully, it was soothing enough to distract from any pain he still felt despite stopping.

"It looks really amazing and cool and I'm honestly really happy I got to be here to see you finish it," Samuel said, he was being absolutely sincere, he was happy he had been able to be there for Roman when he had needed it and he was happy to just see him overcome his illness, "but please give me a warning the next time you get one, kay?"

Samuel's smile was slightly less weak after saying that though. Next time. Roman had done this once now and if he wanted to he would be able to do it again and that was fantastic.
 
r o m a n
"Kay," Roman murmured, taking Samuel's other hand and lifting it up to his lips. "Thank you for being here. It really meant a lot. I wouldn't have been able to do it if you weren't there."

Roman had needed the support and the affirmation that he could do it. Usually he didn't doubt his abilities at all, but when it came to himself, tattooing his own skin, his insecurities about his haemophilia rocked up to instill insecurity he didn't want. But Samuel had been here to support him through it, and that meant the world to him.

Roman rested for a few moments, before he sat up, cleaned off his arm and wrapped up the tattoo. His first tattoo. He had gone years thinking that he couldn't get them at all, and yet, here he was, looking at the first marking made to his skin by his own needle. Roman smiled a little.

"I chose the Deathly Hallows because of the symbolism," he told Samuel as he cleaned up. "Like in the books it was meant to represent conquering death, being the master of death. So for me, it's conquering my haemophilia and being the master of my own body. It's lame and I sound like a yoga mum but whatever.
 
It was nice to see Roman up on his feet finishing the cleaning, it signalled that the paint at least was a little better now, which was good as it meant no major damage actually had happened without them knowing.

Roman's reasoning for the design choice was actually really touching, suddenly it was so much more than the sign from Roman's favourite books, now it was a symbol of him being in control of himself and hopefully, it could be something he would be able to look at when he felt insecure about his illness. A small reminder that he had beat it once and that he could do it again.

"Well I think it was a really cool way to look at it, whether it makes you sound like a yoga mum or not," Samuel chuckled, maybe it was a little silly, but not when you actually knew of all the shit Roman had to go through because of his illness, "We should be even more dumb about it and celebrate. Maybe we could go and get a giant tub of ice cream or something, no more KFC though, I can't eat that more than once a week and that's pushing it,"

Samuel felt absolutely happy and at peace at this point and was really looking forward to celebrating some with Roman later, and be with him when he showed off his cool new tattoo to London, Allison and Evan. But then he realised he was going to be able to do that this evening.

"Ugh, never mind,"
he sighed, he was still seated on the chair as he watched Roman clean up, knowing he'd be more in the way than anything, and now he slumped down a little in his chair, "I have to go to work, but we can celebrate tomorrow?"
 
r o m a n
Roman loved the idea of celebrating with his boyfriend but that was not possible that evening, since Samuel had to work. Roman knew that even if he was making more than enough money for the two of them to live comfortably at this stage in their lives, Samuel wanted to work because he didn't want to feel like he was doing nothing to help the household. And Roman understood that. So he never protested when Samuel had work.

"Okay," he said, pretending to pout a little before he stood up, wrapped his boyfriend in a hug and kissed him softly on the lips. "I have to take care of walk-ins for a few hours anyway. Don't tell anyone about the tattoo, I won't show them, I want it to be a surprise and I want you to be there."

Roman walked Samuel to the front door, where he kissed his boyfriend again with a hand on the small of his back. "Also if you get home before me, you're not allowed to watch Ink Master without me, and if you do you're sleeping on the floor."
 
It was mid-October when Roman and Samuel pulled up into the driveway of an unknown house in an unknown neighbourhood, about to meet some people that might become a fairly large part of their future lives.

For a while now Susan had been dropping hints whenever talking to Samuel about dating someone new and two weeks earlier she had finally confessed that she had, in fact, met someone new, or well, the guy wasn't completely new, apparently she had known the man for about a year now but she had assured Samuel that nothing had technically happened before she had been completely sure about going through with the divorce. As if Samuel would have actually cared if she would have given up on his dad before filing for divorce.

Samuel was happy for his mother, though. He knew she felt lonely back in Maryborough, without him or Daisy to keep her company anymore and if this guy could prove himself to be a nice person Samuel wouldn't complain at all.

A glance at his home made it seem like he would be a normal person. It was a decent sized white painted house with a yard filled with flowers, bushes and a couple of smaller trees, it was all very neat and was clearly well taken care of but at the same time, it also looked very homely.

Despite having a good feeling about everything about this Samuel felt a little nervous and when they stepped out of the car it was after Samuel had requested they'd stay in the vehicle for a moment as he mentally prepared himself for meeting his mum's new boyfriend. A couple of days ago she had excitedly made a phone call telling him he and Samuel were invited over to dinner to meet him and his daughter. Meaning this was serious and that Samuel wanted to make at least somewhat of a good impression.

Samuel took Roman's hand as the slowly walked up to the door, today he had chosen to wear a pair of black shorts, a burgundy t-shirt and a pair of argyle socks sticking out of his converse. He looked like himself and that was what he wanted.

"I just hope he's nice,"
Samuel mumbled as they walked, his mother was already there, her car was next to theirs in the driveway, but there wasn't really a hurry to get inside since they had driven there in good time, they lived in Melbourne so it hadn't been too far but they had still decided to be on the safe side. Samuel just kind of took the opportunity to postpone the awkward conversations with strangers a little while longer, "I think she deserves that, I know she's not always perfect but she's really trying to be a good parent, she should get to be happy too."
 
r o m a n
Roman wasn't surprised when they learned that Susan had found a new boyfriend. She was a lovely lady, not perfect, just like Samuel had said, but she was kind and she had her heart in the right place. It was no shock when they learned she had found a man she liked. Roman was genuinely happy for her. She deserved so much better than her excuse of an ex-husband, and like Samuel, he hoped the new guy was nice.

"I agree. She's a sweetie. She deserves the best." Roman squeezed his boyfriend's hand and kissed him on the top of the head. He could tell that Samuel was slightly nervous. "You'll be fine."

Roman was sure that after Manuel, Susan wouldn't just let any man in her life. He had to be nice, and good. And he had a teenaged daughter, they had learned, so surely he wasn't a bad person.

Roman wore dark red skinny jeans that day, instead of his usual black ones, and a white T-shirt with a small red love heart that looked like it was painted with blood situated over his real heart would be. He wore black eyeliner and mascara and all his piercings were black, and his nails were long and red. His tattoo, which had healed wonderfully, stood out starkly against his pale skin.

In short, he looked fucking good.

Roman stepped forward, his black high tops touching the doormat, and knocked on the door.
 
They only stood there for a short moment waiting for the door to open before it did. It was Susan who opened the door and let them in and there was no mysterious boyfriend in sight. Samuel didn't mind that though because that meant he could say hello to his mother without worrying about him. Susan pulled her son in for a giant hug and they whispered some hellos and how are you doings to each other. While he had met his mother since his diagnosis he hadn't done it a lot and his mother seemed to take the opportunity she got to check up on her son.

After pulling back Susan gave Roman a quick hug as a greeting too but they didn't get to communicate more before a man, who seemed to be about Samuel's height with brown hair that was short but still long enough to look a little messy and show off some curls, stepped in through a doorway a little further ahead. There was a warm smile on his lips, his shirt has had some flour on it and he was whipping his hands off on a kitchen towel as he approached them.

"Samuel and Roman, right?"
He reached his hand out for each of them to shake "Susan has been telling me a lot about you two so it's nice to finally meet you, "

He stepped back and stood next to Susan and gave her a small smile and she looked at him bashfully back, a little embarrassed that she had talked so much about her kid, maybe. It was sweet.

"I'm Oliver," The man said and gestured to himself and then he pointed up to the ceiling, "My daughter Felicity us upstairs, I think she'll be down to meet you both in a minute,"

"Well, It's, uh, nice to meet you too?" Samuel said a little awkwardly and his mother let out a very quiet chuckle that also seemed to be crossed with a sigh, she was used her son's shyness by now.
 
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