Sadness

[Kagayours]

I don't get how anyone can work when angry, sad etc.

Shit like that not only distracts me, but saps any motivation or willingness to do stuff. :/

I realize I'm a bit of an atypical example of this, but, if I happen to get upset around the time when I'd be between doses of my meds (which I take for my ADHD, for anyone unaware), then taking my next dose definitely helps me get into that "work off the sad" mindset. O_O

I'm able to divert my focus to being productive and away from sad thoughts, I feel slightly perkier and more motivated in general, and I'm able to get into a good work-groove and get stuff done -- which always makes me happy! -- so, whenever things happen to work out that way, I'm always a lot happier once I've done all that and gotten a lot of stuff done. I usually don't even care about whatever I was upset about before. XD

Granted, I'm realizing now that it sounds kind of fucked up to say "I take drugs to make the sad go away", but, ehhh... ^^"

All that being said, though, if I didn't have that (or if the timing just doesn't work out right for that to be a possibility)?, then yeah, I'm right there with you. XD There's no way I'd have the motivation or willingness to do stuff.

Generally all I can do to make myself feel better in that case is to just A) let myself be sad for a while and get some of the emotions out, and then B) find some low-mental-effort thing to distract myself with. Tumblr and Youtube often work well for this. Eventually I find that I've wasted enough time there and I suddenly don't really care about whatever was bothering me before. :P

Edit: ALSO, at the peak of being upset, I have a tendency to leave mini-rants about it on my user profile here on Iwaku and sometimes even on my OOC threads... I used to feel really bad about it, sort of wanting to be comforted but also being terrified of being seen as an attention whore, but now I'm starting to realize that tossing my problems out there in a sort of casual way like that is just... a coping mechanism, and it's really not that bad. o_o

It's actually why I had my user title set to "I'm a Loser" for a while. I originally put it there because, yeah, I was sort of in a self-loathing mood at the time... but, the longer I had it there, the better I felt. o_o Being able to wear a self-depreciating title as if it was a badge that I was proud of made me feel weirdly ok with all of it, until I eventually decided I didn't need it anymore because I no longer felt that way about myself. It's... strange. But it works for me so I'm going to stop feeling bad about it. ^^

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Wouldn't the "Not feel it now" approach though just mean it comes back harder later?

 

[Kestrel]

Isolation. If possible physical exercise for the chemicals and to channel excess energy before it inevitably turns into anger.

My way is not the healthiest of ways, lacking proper form of expression. It is however, a relatively safe one.

 

[Autarch]

Wouldn't the "Not feel it now" approach though just mean it comes back harder later?

Aight, I've tried writing this three times and it still comes across as self-justified rambling, but I'm going to try anyways.

This is a tough question, 'cause a lot of what dictates how a person responds to negative emotion is the person's perspective on how emotion actually works. I imagine negative emotion like a burning flame in my gut, sparked by what-have-you to a blaze at the most inopportune of times. A lot of people say internalizing and slowly venting is the fast track to eventually exploding, but I'm under the belief that even the strongest of flames can slowly burn out given time; I've yet to come across a time in my life where I've had a full-on nuclear emotional meltdown, and as long as I trust the way I cope I believe never will.

Honestly, from what I've seen so far in my admittedly short life, the emotions your average human feels is more or less entirely dictated by the way the person chooses to react to them. Positive people see the worst of tragedies as bad hours of a good day, negative people have a tendency to be demoralized by even minor setbacks, and my personal stance of "I don't give a shit about myself so let hell come" places me directly in the center of an apathetic lull.

I guess, to try to actually put a point to my ramblings, it's more "feel just a lil' bit now" instead of "not feel it now" in totality. Bad days can happen, shit can hit fans, but a person is entirely capable of retaining all faculties and not letting themselves get down without going Fukishima-style down the road.

 

[Brovo]

Isolation.

You and me both. Though, I guess the slight variation being that when I get hit with sorrow, it hits me hard, so I spend time alone putting myself back together so others won't see me so weak. That, or capitalize on my weakness to hurt me more--there are some people that would love nothing more than to hurt me again, and again, and again, for seemingly no reason whatsoever.

 

[Alan]

Video games, music, or watching hockey. usually helps for most things. Though I don't have to be sad to do any of those :P

Sometimes, talking to someone important to me helps.

 

[Kagayours]

Wouldn't the "Not feel it now" approach though just mean it comes back harder later?

Eh. Maybe? Often I find that, when I step away from something for a while, I find that it really doesn't bother me anymore. I'm able to look back on it and decide I really don't care -- which is much better than allowing myself to spiral into another self-loathing lull. o_o

But then... I also find that a lot of the things that upset me all stem from the same concerns and insecurities, so, when one thing upsets me, I can't help but think back to all the similar incidents that all hit at the same thing and that were never properly resolved...

And sometimes that does mean having a bit of a meltdown, or even reaching out to people and fixing some of the perceived wounds between us, getting all the strange and mixed-up emotions off my chest... but, for day-to-day things, I don't mind simply distracting myself (especially if I can get some productivity out of it, which just makes me feel better overall!). Better that than to allow myself to wallow in self-pity every time I'm hurt by some minor little thing...

 

[LogicfromLogic]

How do you cope with feelings of sadness, what kinds of things do you do? Romantic comedies and ice cream? Sad music and booze? Do you think it's a good method or are you trying to find a healthier way to deal?

Honestly I don't, most days. I tend to think it through and most of the time I think I'm overreacting to something so I'll shrug it off.

When shite gets real however, I tend to either hit the game system or I go to art. Sometimes I take walks while listening to music while other times I choose to just sit in silence and think of what has happened. I'll sit there for hours just thinking, there've been serious times when my 'sadness' has turned into full out rage and I game some or I imagine myself punching something.

Negative emotions do not do well with me.