Romantic tropes

[Nemopedia]

I'm vibing on coffee today and maybe two and an half hours of sleep, but without hinting at anything:

What are your favourite romantic tropes and dynamics? Which tropes or dynamics do you dislike? Why do you (dis)like it?

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[Diana]

I LIVE AND BREATH ROMANCE BITCHES! YOU GIVE ME A ROMANTIC SUBPLOT AND I AM YOURS FOREVER.

I love, love, love "slap slap kiss" or "enemies to lovers" which is basically two people that DO NOT get along at first, have a bunch of misunderstandings (preferably ones that are actually legitimate and arent freaking stupid tiredass shit that could be resolved by asking a simple question), but over time learn about each other, develop a relationship and fall in love. 8D I love all the drama of the beginning, and how learning to get past these things, they develop a stronger bond.


That's my favorite, but I love every single romantic pairing in the world wit very few exceptions cause I just love romance in general and I enjoy exploring all different kinds of plots!


The one thing I do HATE though is Toxic or Pointless Love Triangles. Where a perfectly strong bonded couple has strife or breaks up because of a third person and it NEVER makes sense for the couple, OR the breakups and misunderstandings are forced in ways that dont make sense.

Meanwhile, I adore Love Triangles that end with Everybody Bangs. Ot3 baby. >:D

 

[wren.]

Enemies to lovers (more enemies to friends to lovers, really) because I'm basic. I also really love friends to lovers, especially if they had childhood crushes on each other. I'm a sucker for separation and eventual reunion. I find relationships with many ups and downs, regardless of whether they're romantic at the time or not, very compelling. It creates chemistry and history before reaching a satisfying final get-together. I'm just a sucker for yearning in general because I find the journey more interesting than the destination when it comes to romance.

A trope I absolutely hate is bully x victim. It's obviously a toxic dynamic, but it also pushes a lot of really problematic ideas like "he's mean to you because he likes you." It's also, in the world of MxM at least, very dull to write and read because it's always the stereotypical overly masculine guy with the stereotypical timid feminine one. I actually enjoy certain toxic dynamics, like codependency, but that one always rubs me the wrong way because I can't find anything to enjoy.

 

[firejay1]

I hate many romantic tropes. Enemies to lovers, pointless misunderstandings, love triangles, harem, super slow burns, toxic behaviors being treated as romantic, etc. I've seen a lot of these HAVE examples that work well, but I've been burned too many times with the examples of ppl executing the whole thing very badly. Like a number of misunderstandings can be very reasonable, people miscommunicate all the time, but nah, most of them in romances are like, "JUST HAVE A SINGLE DAMN CONVERSATION." Toxic behaviors being treated as romantic is basically just never a fun time for me with the exception of the thing I'll mention later. Enemies to lovers, sometimes ppl can be getting over preconceived misjudgments, but MOST OF THE TIME IT'S TWO PPL WHO SEEM TO HATE EACH OTHER AND HAVE NOTHING THEY SEEM TO LIKE ABOUT EACH OTHER THAT EVERYONE INSISTS MEANS THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND HAVE AMAZING CHEMISTRY. NO. MOST OF THE TIME, PPL WHO HATE EACH OTHER JUST HATE EACH OTHER.

And love triangles, I just have no good feelings about anyone or anything. If it's a woman sandwiched between two men she can't decide between, I feel both like the woman is usually a wishy washy person who like IF YOU'RE NOT CERTAIN ABOUT EITHER OF THEM, THEN NEITHER OF THEM ARE WORTH IT, WOMAN. And also like the men are assholes bc they're usually fighting over the lady like she can't make up her own mind. If it's a situation where the woman seems pretty committed to a single person, the other person is an irritating hindrance to the plot most of the time who does not need to be there, or an annoying sadboy who's just there to be pathetic and sad, OR a rapey "I don't care you have someone you love" asshole, OR is legitimately a better person than the asshole the woman is committed to, and makes us all wonder why the woman is so fucking stupid. If it's a MAN who can't make up his own mind between two women, it's almost always like, he legit doesn't seem to give a shit who he ends up with as long as he gets some, and the two women appear to have nothing else worth living for in their life. If it's a man who's committed to someone, but there's another woman there, usually she's either kinda sad, or ALSO an irritating hindrance to teh plot who does not need to be there, OR A STRAIGHT UP VILLAIN! Like yeah, I should LOOOOVE reading or watching stuff where women only exist to fight over a man and can legit become evil because they're terrible people who're willing to destroy each other without ever questioning why this boy is worth it when he's often an ass to at least one of them. Mm yes, unambiguously evil females bc they have nothing to care about in life except a boy is my FAVORITE. (No. No it's really not.)

Like no shame to you if you like any of these tropes, I just feel my blood boiling most of the time when I read em (except love triangles where three ppl end up together, that's legit okay). I may also feel particularly strongly about the love triangle thing, because I was a part of one when I was in high school, where I was committed to one guy, and the other guy who was my friend but also very clearly liked me would not let go of his little sadboy feelings, and I HATED IT. HATED IT.

MEANWHILE. I LOVE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS, POOR ANXIOUS PEOPLE MAKING BAD DECISIONS BUT STILL HAVING A GOOD HEART, AND MY ONE HUGE HUGE GUILTY PLEASURE ONE IS when the love is mutual, but one person is like, "bye, I gotta go bc I'm not good enough for you, or I'm gonna die in 6 months, etc" and the other person is like "TOO LATE, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE, I'LL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH." I know it's problematic bc they're not respecting what the other person is saying, but I'll readily admit to just plain enjoying most of those stories so much (so long as the love part is mutual).

 

[Diana]

GUMMY HAS SCREAMED A BUNCH OF STUFF THAT I TOO HATE ABOUT THE ROMANTIC TROPES

except in my case, I get around that hate BY ROLEPLAYING IT MYSELF AND DOING IT ALL THE RIGHT WAY. >:D others cannot be trusted, I WILL DO IT MYSELF

 

[FenFren]

I dunno, I really like the idea of the trope 'Flirtatious Villain x Lovestruck Hero'. It doesn't necessarily have to be supernatural or anything, just kinda in that sort of sense. If you're wondering if this is a kind of 'toxic relationship' thing, I don't really see it that way. In my mind, the Villain doesn't really do bad things, and is actually a pretty good person. The Villain only does bad things to catch the attention of the Hero, who acts annoyed by how many times they have to track the Villain down, but genuinely likes to be around them. It more of a 'kids joking around, but it's just adults being doofus''.

Everyone has their own opinion on these things, this is just mine.

 

[firejay1]

I dunno, I really like the idea of the trope 'Flirtatious Villain x Lovestruck Hero'. It doesn't necessarily have to be supernatural or anything, just kinda in that sort of sense. If you're wondering if this is a kind of 'toxic relationship' thing, I don't really see it that way. In my mind, the Villain doesn't really do bad things, and is actually a pretty good person. The Villain only does bad things to catch the attention of the Hero, who acts annoyed by how many times they have to track the Villain down, but genuinely likes to be around them. It more of a 'kids joking around, but it's just adults being doofus''.

Everyone has their own opinion on these things, this is just mine.

Lol, I actually adore that idea. At least the way you're describing it. I don't know if it's a trope I've seen much of, but it sounds like a very cute little plot.

 

[FenFren]

I dunno, I really like the idea of the trope 'Flirtatious Villain x Lovestruck Hero'. It doesn't necessarily have to be supernatural or anything, just kinda in that sort of sense. If you're wondering if this is a kind of 'toxic relationship' thing, I don't really see it that way. In my mind, the Villain doesn't really do bad things, and is actually a pretty good person. The Villain only does bad things to catch the attention of the Hero, who acts annoyed by how many times they have to track the Villain down, but genuinely likes to be around them. It more of a 'kids joking around, but it's just adults being doofus''.

Everyone has their own opinion on these things, this is just mine.

Lol, I actually adore that idea. At least the way you're describing it. I don't know if it's a trope I've seen much of, but it sounds like a very cute little plot.

Thanks :0

 

[wren.]

I dunno, I really like the idea of the trope 'Flirtatious Villain x Lovestruck Hero'. It doesn't necessarily have to be supernatural or anything, just kinda in that sort of sense. If you're wondering if this is a kind of 'toxic relationship' thing, I don't really see it that way. In my mind, the Villain doesn't really do bad things, and is actually a pretty good person. The Villain only does bad things to catch the attention of the Hero, who acts annoyed by how many times they have to track the Villain down, but genuinely likes to be around them. It more of a 'kids joking around, but it's just adults being doofus''.

Everyone has their own opinion on these things, this is just mine.

Ooh yes, I've done one of those before and I agree it's very cute, mostly because of the "I'mma come up with any excuse I can find to spend time with you, even if it means half-heartedly kidnapping someone for a bit" aspect.

 

[ImaginationGoneWild]

*cracks knuckles*

I mostly write Fantasy stories so I imagine them in that genre.

I find 'Master x Servant' an interesting trope but not in a kinky way. I like the idea that loyalty can turn into affection but at the same time society doesn't allow them to be together. Kind of falls under the 'Forbidden Love' trope. Maybe there are other reasons why a couple can't be together; race? religion? wealth? magic vs non-magic? human vs monster? There's also the sense of 'Secrecy' like what if they get caught? What are the consequences? Are they truly in love or is it just an affair? If faced with a choice which path will they take?

Speaking of 'Secrecy', what if one of them isn't who they say they are? Not in a catfish way but more accidentally (or not) discovering a secret? Are they a secret agent? A criminal? A monster? Were they responsible for their lover's past trauma but stuck around out of guilt? Secrets are spicy...

That brings me to another deceit, 'Fake relationships'. Having to pretend they're in a relationship for whatever reason. To endure a family reunion? Celebrity status? To keep the casino money you won after you married a stranger while heavily intoxicated but rules say you can only win it if you stay married for x amount of time? (that's a movie whose name I've forgotten but features cameron diaz and ...ashton kutchner...I think?)

Then of course there's the classics; 'Friends to Lovers', 'Friends with Benefits turned lovers', or 'Right in Front of You', the trope where one of them realizes that the person they need to be with has been right in front of them all along. The spark that changed their perception of their friend could be anything; seeing them in a cute scenario where they imagined a future together, or helping each other through a tough time, or jealousy!

Jealousy is definitely a guilty pleasure...there's something about a man getting jealous or possessive and then channels that energy in bed...

I don't really like Enemies to Lovers, most of the time they don't make sense. Like I wouldn't feel attracted to someone whose been shitty to me the entire time, like suddenly they do one nice thing which somehow flips their opinion? However! However... Imagine enemies with a lot of sexual energy as a form of torment that the villain uses against the hero. Confusing them, manipulating them. I can picture a knight allowing someone to escape their sword because they confuse them and then wonder whatever happened to that villain...

And then of course there's 'Interracial/species relationships'. I like the idea where they try to figure out how to adapt to a new culture, opening up to new ideas, philosophy, traditions, etc. Which brings me to 'Arranged Marriages'. These could be easy marriages where they learn to respect each other first and slowly love blossoms. Or they can be difficult; neither party agrees to it or perhaps it was a marriage forged in conquest. A warrior conquers a kingdom and forces a marriage between the two to make it easier for the two kingdoms to merge, etc.

Oh yeah, here's another one I found after googling romance tropes. The 'Guardian', someone usually an older person has to suddenly take someone into their home as their ward/guardian. Like a vampire who discovered one of their victims had a child but their moral code does not allow them to kill the child so they bring them home. Cue years later the child is all grown up. I like to imagine a story like that from the perspective of the child. The child witnessed a monster kill their parents but at the same time was cared for by that monster. The psychology behind it all is interesting.

I don't typically like Soulmate tropes but there was one that I found interesting. Soulmates who keep finding each other through reincarnation, despite the different identities they take during those cycles (different genders, social status, race, etc.). In one life they could be best friends but in another they were warriors in opposing armies, or in yet another life switch genders, or suddenly gay! It's so interesting and romantic, no matter what happens they'll always find each other. Not even death stops them.

I heavily dislike incest BUT! There was an episode of the Midwife that that made it beautiful to me. It was an episode where the nurses were caring for elderly siblings and the younger nurse discovered that they had an incesteous relationship. But the older nurse knew this, late in the episode she explained that the siblings had a tragic backstory. They were orphans and living in terrible conditions and their only comfort was each other. And as they aged, because they constantly clung to each other, it became just natural for them to 'sate their needs' with each other. Again, the psychology behind it is interesting. If incest is a story feature as a fetish I HATE it, but as a surprise element to someone's relationship that won't take away from the actual plot then I don't mind it so much. But only with siblings/cousins close to their age.

The Tropes I do not like at all are anything Abusive turns Love. I fucking hate it as someone whose been abused herself. So the whole bully x victim, enemies x lovers, kidnapper x victim, master x slave, etc..

Love triangles are ANNOYING! I like him but I also love him! Pick one or fuck off....Stop playing with people's emotions! This is why Twilight sucks...and sparkly vampires...

Harems...Just because they aren't written well. Just the idea that all these women/men fall for the same person and then tolerate the presence of the others and still decide to stick around while the hero uses them as magic canon-fodder and flavor of the evening. When I think of Harems I think about the ones in the historical genre where most of these women were neglected at some palace wing and being bullied by the older women. All trying to get the king's attention just to get some extra jewelry or a trip to their home town. And if you can't bring forth an heir then you're at the bottom of that royal ladder. And when you do birth one you'll still have to compete with all the other mothers.

And that's when things get guuuuud. These secret political games and scheming. Secrets are spicy!

 

[Suspended on Rainbow Wings]

I adore enemies to lovers. But small Disney gimmicks as well. Like say when the couple go out for date numero uno you do something like stupid memorable. A good example of what I'm talking about is Araragi and Senjougahara's star gazing climax to Bakemonogatari. It was simple and anybody could do it. They made it magical if for no other reason then the amount of effort that Araragi put in to keep her interested. It did help that Senjougahara was a hopeless romantic at heart.

 

[Suspended on Rainbow Wings]

P.S. Does what I just explained make me seem basic if I say I'd kill to be treated like Jasmine on her respective magic carpet ride?

 

[Fluffy]

Monster/Slayer romances tend to be a favorite of mine. Whether it's like, a vampire and a vampire hunter or demon and a demon hunter or really whatever-- if it involves a monster and an enemy-turned-beloved, I'mma most likely be into it. <3

Similarly, I am a sucker for Monster/Human romance tropes. Hits home for me as someone who sees themselves as a monster and likes seeing them get the tender, compassionate love they always needed. Just a sweet somebody who's like 'aw they aren't so bad, why is everyone chasing them with pitchforks? :c I'mma bring them some cake and kisses.' My spouse always has to deal with me going "Awww" or "Those two should kiss" anytime I see a connection between a hoomin and a monster.

"Beauty and the Beast" trope, as well... Have one of the love interests be either really ugly, an actual monster, or just a broody bitter type that seems unlovable if not beastly in nature. And then this total beauty walks into their life and through them, they start seeing beauty in themselves too.

"Forbidden romance" is another I find myself enjoying. Romeo and Juliet kinda started me on that. I adore the tragedy of their story. And the death-loving goth in me finds it romantic to die for love. Super dupes cute to me also when the two forbidden lovers are just sneaking around, trying to not get caught, just trying to share another moment together before loneliness returns!~

 

[PavellumPendulum]

Enemies to lovers (more enemies to friends to lovers, really) because I'm basic. I also really love friends to lovers, especially if they had childhood crushes on each other. I'm a sucker for separation and eventual reunion. I find relationships with many ups and downs, regardless of whether they're romantic at the time or not, very compelling. It creates chemistry and history before reaching a satisfying final get-together. I'm just a sucker for yearning in general because I find the journey more interesting than the destination when it comes to romance.

This is our entire ass rp Jena. I'm glad its catered specifically to you LMAO

My fav tropes are probably hand in unlovable hand (I love two dumbasses that are bad for each other falling in love) and fake dating/shenanigans. If it's funny, I'm having a great time and immediately invested sldkjfskla

I like love triangles or squares if they resolve in polyamory because hoo yeah babey that's the rep I'm looking for

I write harems because surprise surprise again I love polyamory. Bread and butter to me.

I hate gigantic age gaps, incest, stereotypical seme/uke "yaoi" dynamics and in general I'm pretty cautious of the bad boy x good girl trope because I AM SO TIRED........... NO I DONT WANT TO PLAY A SEXY BAD BOY FLIRTATIOUS DREAM GUY FOR YOUR GOODIE TWO SHOES GAL WHOSE ONLY FLAW IS THAT SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN............................. This is why I quit playing MxF for so many goddamn years.

 

[Nemopedia]

I actually dislike many romantic tropes as well, but more for their execution than that I actually dislike the trope itself! I dislike the trope of (constant) miscommunications and misunderstandings because they usually could be solved so easily with ONE (1) word. I also DESPISE love triangles because it is always presented as a must choose one, which I can't and it is the end of all!. The execution of the majority of those tropes are more aimed to aggravate the viewer rather than contributing to the story.

There are a few tropes I dislike for its mere existence, however! Usually those are tropes that rely on either a skewed power dynamic (think work-place relationship, client x professional, dependent x provider, etc...) This includes the bully x victim trope as well, even if that one generally is more about a lack of respect, or a lack of sense that they are equals rather than an actual power imbalance. I just don't like the whole writing out of the perspective of forgiveness being earned because the other party is sad and pitiful, abused and lonely and love will fix that, or the 'gotta earn my respect, hurdur' attitude. Which is what my issue is with a lot of enemies to lovers stories as well. Just give me an enemies to lovers where they respect each other as adversaries but can't help but taunt the other.

I don't necessarily hate toxic dynamics either, they can be interesting to explore, like Catherine and Heathcliff, but what bothers me is that so often these toxic dynamics are justified either through story or by interpretation. No, it is toxic! Allow it to be toxic! Recognise that it is toxic and appreciate that this story is build upon that dynamic of which neither character are getting out of any better, and that the ending might be bad in the sense that neither change or escape!

My absolute favourite trope would be the friends to lovers trope. There is something super heart warming about how that dynamic grows and just watching dumbasses going from "we friends, of course I care" to "oh no it is more than..." never fails to get me. Especially slow burns, that sweet delicious slow burn and build up to a confession that makes either want to sink right into earth. mwah

A guilty pleasure of mine is soulmates, however. In all forms and endings. Bad soulmates, good soulmates, tragic endings, good endings. There is something about characters trying everything to fight the pull of fate and finding themselves utterly failing for either good reason or all the bad reasons.