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ROLEPLAY Roleplay advice mk II

Discussion in 'ROLEPLAY HELP' started by Rebornfan120, Jan 26, 2018.

  1. Well i am seeking some advice here. More like get a second opinion/advice even though the new start for us when 2018 rang in all varied (mine sucked).

    I was given the advice to take a break from roleplaying from a friend of mine because of these reasons:
    1. Having roleplays stall out of the blue either during or before starting for me isn't a good feeling even though it was what i wanted in terms of the roleplay.
    2. Despite my efforts to not be one-dimensional and varied for people and roleplays it doesn't seem interesting to people anymore.
    3. I had these things happen to me on another site before coming on here and on another site I got blocked at the planning phase of roleplays, asking to continue or to repost the logs when someone lost theirs and i did not do anything deserving of a block at all.
    4. The people of roleplay interest waned significantly when it came to anime characters, video game characters and cartoon characters too. (avatar)

    Well these are my reasons and to only add to this emotionally and mentally it was frustrating for me but i am at a middle ground here of what to do so I want to hear your opinions and to hopefully make a decision on a clear head instead of 'jumping the gun'.
     
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  2. The first thing that comes to me after reading this is that first things first: RP should be fun.

    It's called roleplay, after all.

    Second, hype is contagious. Once you show you are excited, the other party is more likely to become excited as well. However, it can be a little difficult to master the art of showing excitement, and it can backfire. Feel things out formally, lay out your thoughts honestly, and offer gentle reminders that you're human, you're doing your best, and you want things to work out, because you're excited. Something like this:

    -coughs- I may have accidentally come up with a great plot for an RP... oops.

    Anyway, get the hype train going. Keep polite. Occasionally remind your partner that you're doing your best and want to have fun.

    Even with all of this in mind, a hiatus may be healthy as well. Creativity is breathing. Writing, coming up with ideas, making characters, plotting—all of that is the equivalent of breathing out. You can't do it forever, though. You have to breathe in!

    If you take a hiatus, and you want it to help you, put in some time reading, some time taking in stories (books, movies, anime, comics, anything with a plot you can follow), research writing technique if you so desire, listen to music, go out and experience the world, and just have fun and let your brain collect experiences.

    Your brain will take those experiences: memories, knowledge, observations. It will combine them on its own, and it will turn them into thoughts and ideas.

    That's why you have to breathe in sometimes. Taking in stories and knowledge is the same as taking in oxygen. It feeds you, and then you put out something interesting!

    In the end, it falls to you to decide what is right for you. =) Best of luck!
     
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  3. Roleplays should be fun. And yet lately when it comes to searching or requesting a roleplay it seems people are not as interested anymore of my ideas no matter what i seem to add to the thread. It is hard for me to show hype if people are not as interested in my ideas and they seem to pass up my thread ideas a lot. I'm generally a polite guy but it seems my best never seems to be enough for a constant interest. I think i am more likely to take a break from looking if i feel the inevitable result is zero interest.
     
  4. That's self-fulfilling prophecy, right there.

    The more you think you won't get interest, the less you get. Start by changing how you make your threads and how you present yourself to others—it will make the biggest difference.

    People can read your tone in your text, and from this thread alone, the tone that I read indicates that you are morose. I have found in the past that putting on an optimistic and eager face in your advertising thread itself will help a lot with making people want to approach you—much like how smiling IRL encourages people to make friendly.

    Also, don't use center align or too much random colors. That crap turns people away.

    Start with a small paragraph or so of introduction to you. Little nice things to know, but ultimately don't matter.

    Keep things focused on writing about you, not about your partner. Keep things on a positive spin. Keep optimistic.

    Even after all of this, if you get zero hits, then maybe it's time to see if you want to explore other threads and see what they offer and how.

    All advice I can give involves effort, though. Only you can make you catch the interest of others.
     
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  5. Well i think i won't get interest is because it has happened to me more often. Even if i present myself as positive it is a dud. I don't think i am morose but not confident or have the belief there will be constant interest in my thread or threads anyway and i don't see much point sometimes even if i show optimism.
    I don't center align or use random colors so i do not have to worry. And to start a small paragraph about myself i don't think i am interesting enough to other people. And i predict i would get zero hits anyway and i put in the effort of my threads by being as varied as i can.
     
  6. I can only answer with my thoughts and opinions, so take them with a grain of salt.

    If you mean that your potential partners drop the RP before you even get to the posting part, consider yourself lucky. It's much worse for a partner to continue in an RP they've lost interest in, letting it slowly die over a prolonged period of time. 1x1s aren't my favorite RP form because the commitment is suffocating at times. If one partner doesn't feel like posting, suddenly it's a dead RP. Group RPs spread the weight around and, in some ways, I think it's a better way to get to know your fellow RPers. Idk. I could rant on this, but maybe later.

    What doesn't seem interesting? Your RPs or you?

    Sometimes, it's not the plots, but the pitch used to sell the plots. I have seen every brand of bullshit sold to perspective RP partners on this site and others, so let me just say now that having the right pitch for your concepts might make all the difference. Not just the initial pitch, but the presentation as well.

    My biggest advice for forum writers: Get Grammarly, write your posts in wordcounter.net, and make use of Hemmingwayapp for posts you're not certain of. IE: If the words seem wrong, but you can't self-edit the work yourself.

    Some people won't like you.

    Personally, I don't like people. Lots of people for lots of reasons - but I'll explain why I stop liking a potential RP partner.

    Sometimes, someone asks me too much about my RL. Sometimes, they don't ask enough. On occasion, someone comes off too strong and sends me winky face emotes and ultimately chases me away because they're under the impression that I'm open to that sort of interactions between a stranger on the internet and myself.

    That's the part you need to keep in mind: You're a stranger to everyone on the forums. That's how it is. Yeah, there's a bit of meet-and-greet between you and the people you RP with, but realistically, most of the users on RP sites don't care to make long-term relationships with other users. They just want to RP and, conveniently, stop RPing when they've had their fill. That could be in a day or a month or whatever.

    Anyway, people might block you to completely avoid answering questions like 'Why do you want to stop RPing?' because it's awkward to answer with 'I don't know, but I do'. I've answered that with a lot of ex-partners, but sometimes, I wish I had just blocked them.


    I presume you like anime? Okay, well, there are lots of people who like anime - but there are just as many who don't. As someone who doesn't, I'll explain my thoughts so you get an idea why someone might be turned off to playing in that sort of RP.

    To me, anime is hugely exaggerated and incredibly sexist. When I RP, I want to create a setting that is new and fun - but I also want it to be believable to the reader, yeah? Anime has a tendency to be goofy, sorta childish, and generally unbelievable? It's a mixed bag, but can you see why someone might not want to RP that sort of thing?

    Anyway, I don't mean to lecture, but I was hoping to give you some insight on the potential why to your questions. Best of luck in your future searches.

    And remember Grammarly! D:
     
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  7. Well in terms of RP's dropping i do not consider myself lucky in all honesty. And to answer your question it is both the RP's and me as a whole. And when it comes to my future searches in terms of a consistent partner i do not think i will ever find it if i am getting passed up on a frequent basis.
     
  8. Villains and Moody have excellent advice for keeping your roleplays lively and interesting, and I have nothing to add there.

    What I'm reading in your last response is that you feel like no one gives you a chance, like they judge you before you even have a change to get both writers invested in your story.

    I'm going to tread into uncertain territory here with a fishing metaphor, but no one owes anyone else roleplay. There are soooo many stories out there that sometimes even the best get lost in the clutter so you need to get people's attention somehow and lure their interest.

    Maybe it's through an amazing and snazzy splash page.
    Maybe it's attitude.
    Maybe it's "oh hey, I know that name - I saw them writing in that other story I'm in".
    Maybe it's an intriguing story that an idle connection-scanner simply has to be a part of.

    Once you have their interest, polishing your wording, formatting and pitch-tone will help them keep it. Because if you can't be noticeably excited and involved in the ideas you're pitching, why should they be?

    Oh, and another thing!

    One of the big mistakes I've made (and read others make) in the past is to go all in with the ten or twelve wonderful ideas crowding my headspace and trying to write them all up at once. Don't! Unless you have all the time and energy and lack of interruption in the world, you'll never get them all down the way you're happy with the first time. Stick with one or maaaybe two. Write those out, spend your time on making them as delicious and irresistible as you can... then wait. Add another one the next day, or the next.

    My two cents - on getting to RP, more than keeping it.

    (Or, seriously, grab someone else's interest check and ask them to play with you there - that's a good way to scratch your roleplay itch and warm up your fingers again).
     
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  9. Well I thank you Anguissette for your side of things. and from my last response that is exactly what i am saying. I am already judged no matter what thread i do and i don't get the chances like a thread that has more than 10 replies or comments on it. I do not know about a snazzy new page so i will pass on that. My attitude i do not think is a problem because i feel I present well but like i have been mentioning there is no interest from it. And the reason i go all in is because i try to fit my possible partner's needs and interest instead of sticking to like one or two interests. Checking others won't hurt unless they are advanced roleplayers. But i don't feel confident about my odds anyway.
     
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  10. You're welcome!

    Ignoring for a second the fact that I'm overdue on getting back to a couple of my partners (so absolutely can't start any new ones!) if I scanned an interest check from you I can guarantee I wouldn't be passing you up because I'm judging you on your reputation.

    I'm fairly new to the site, there's loads of active users and before this thread I hadn't actually heard of you.

    I'm not saying everyone reads things the same way I do or that you need to cheer up to make a difference. I'm sorry you're feeling so defeated by this, but that's not what you made this thread to talk about.

    I did actually try to find your interest check to give you a more specific review, but can't manage to find the thing (Iwaku says, no search results for me). I'd still be happy to if you like, and can linky?

    You're always welcome to ignore my advice mind you - but if you're still prepared to listen I'm still happy to try to help any way I can.
     
  11. Well here is the link to my thread: PARTNER REQUEST - Rp request! (Fandoms + Originals)

    I made the thread for advice on what to do since i seem to be passed up more often than anything and it seemed my efforts to be in vain no matter what i did. Being new i can't help that but try to help new people if needed. i am not ignoring advice or yours but it seems one-sided to me that my side is not being taken how i feel is seriously.
     
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  12. I didn't say you were, Reborn - and thanks for the link.

    You've actually been here longer than I have. :3

    Going back to the OP your main question was "should I take a break to clear my head", am I right?

    Reading that you only came back to us in December, I'd be very sorry if you needed to go already but completely understand that at the end of the day you're the best person to say what you need to be well and happy.

    Reading through your interest check I agree with you that there's nothing wrong with your attitude in it. You're offering a wide range of options and I notice you were up past 14 (counting your posts) a couple of weeks back.

    You have an added challenge because you prefer to write in PMs, which helps to keep the story engaging and just for its writers but does mean that snoopy derps like myself can't read and get to know your story when we catch up on our own (which does happen, I swear)!

    I like your intro. I like how you've stated your preferences, and I like how you've laid out your expectations.

    Your formatting is, honestly, probably better than mine. A couple of tiny typos, but nothing major in spelling and no one is perfect except Grammarly.

    I like your CTA at the end, which is exactly what I was talking about:

    You like anime and that's cool. I haven't seen any (yes, any (yes, really)) so wouldn't ask for any of those plots and wouldn't know any of the backstory that probably would suggest good plots between fans of the shows.

    The originals are more intriguing (again, only speaking for me!) though I'd really like to hear more about some of them to get a sense of the sort of plots you like to spin. I get that you're trying to keep your options open and would like to do some world building with your partner before you start (maybe say that?), but for me personally a few lines devoted to a few plots would definitely help to sexy it up (I'm a lexivore like that).

    Maybe something like:

    May not be to your taste, but I'd definitely message for something like that.

    Sorry if I got carried away!
     
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  13. I'm gonna be blunt here... But know I mean it with the best intentions. I'm getting the impression from your responses to all these replies that what you're actually looking for is someone to validate you. To tell you that you're not the problem and those other people are and you're totally justified in being angry/upset about what's happened with past roleplays.

    Unfortunately, that's not really how advice works. Sometimes in order to improve yourself, you have to be willing to change your perspective. Trust me... I've been rping for 20 years. I've been there. And as tempting as it is to live in that zone, there comes a point when 'woe is me' only goes so far, and then you need to break out of that pity-mode and move forward into something new.

    Roleplaying is a lot like dating or a business relationship. It's about wooing your partners... About attracting new partners. Marketing yourself. From what I've read, you seem to have a grasp of what YOU want out of the roleplay, but are you sure you're considering what your partner wants? Are you communicating with them to hear their thoughts and ideas?

    I think your biggest issue and the reason you might be turning players off is your attitude comes across as very pessimistic.

    Reading through your interest check, I immediately am met with a negative preface about your confidence/self esteem. This, as a potential player, tells me absolutely nothing about you except what I'm forced to surmise through assumptions. It is the equivalent of meeting someone for a date and when they get in the car to leave you burst into tears and inform them you were thinking about your ex. No one wants to be reminded of that sort of thing... You might think "it's just one line in an otherwise decent interest check" but that one line is the first impression you're giving people, and if you aren't confident in yourself, why should they be confident in you?

    It's important to remember that while you may feel justified or even vindicating in complaining or lamenting about last issues, but at the end of the day no one wants to hear about the roleplays that didn't work out. You gotta let them go and move forward.

    I think if you stop reflecting on the past, tweak out the negativity in your tone and present yourself with an air of confidence, you'll find a little more success.

    You also have to put effort into what you write, as everyone else said. Proof read your stuff if you don't already... Read some of the 1x1s that have been going on for a while... See what draws people in. Flavor your writing and make it interesting for people to read. Maybe add a writing sample to your interest check.

    Also, just a side note... You may want to consider paring down some of your tags. Tags are a great quick reference for people to check for compatibility.... But when you have SO many, it can be a little confusing or give the wrong impression that you don't know what you want.

    Hope this helps! Best of luck to ya!
     
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  14. After reading that and I have thought about it and I do feel justified about the negative experiences I have had when it comes to my roleplaying luck or lack thereof, and because of it I personally don't feel confident about my chances to find a partner even though it frustrates me when negative experiences like that happening and not being very interesting to people. Sometimes for me, it is hard for me to change my view on things if I don't feel understood despite pitching it like I did at the start of the thread. Whatever partners I get I do communicate with them to hear their ideas and their wants. I also feel that I do put in the effort to what I write and back to the original point it does not seem interesting to people. I may or may not pairing down my tags because I want to be as varied as possible.
     
  15. I don’t think you are particularly unlucky or lacking in roleplaying. From my own partner request (a year or so ago) none of my 1x1’s remained. One member self-deleted, another disappeared, some didn’t respond to me... It happens! All you really can do is move on and hope something else finds you, or focus on what you already have. Now, I understand that you don’t/didn’t have other roleplays ongoing, which also gives you an opportunity to try new things. I don’t think I have seen you in the Group roleplays, or maybe even the Realms? How do you feel about those? I usually find it easier to find 1x1 partners amongst friends and close relations. Group roleplays usually make it easier to meet and befriend a bunch of people. It is a good balance and a nice cycle, in my opinion!

    And I realise you prefer roleplaying over PM’s. Which makes groups and realms not an ideal option, but how willing are you to step out of your comfort zone if someone invited you, or you find something that matches your interests?

    You have a tendency to zoom in on the negatives and the bad, while also brushing off the observations made from others on the matter. That can be quite frustrating, but at the same time also tiresome for both those that surround you and yourself. People don’t feel like you listen to them, but you feel like you do and wonder why they get frustrated. It is a common mindset to have. I held a pretty pessimistic, cynical, people-loathing mindset myself (still do at times, but I’m better, promise). I learnt from there that you shouldn’t try to argue everything from one side, or to your own opinion, or bring back to yourself. Everyone differs, everyone has their own opinion! You need to listen and ask questions. The why and the what. Why does that work for you (the other roleplayer)? What works for me? What makes you (the other roleplayer) a popular roleplay partner, and what can I do to become one myself? Don’t focus on the ‘why me’, ‘why not’, and so on. These frustrate you and others and no one (not even you) benefits from that.

    Listening is hard and it is why so many more people appreciate it when someone actually does. I’m sure you do as well. My point in here is that instead of wondering ‘why’ something is not working out for you, you figure out the ‘what’ it is that isn’t working for you and that you reserve the ‘why’ for other people as a form of observation and to ask questions. Don’t compare: ‘oh they are a better writer than me, that’s why’. That’s too easy (and often not true). Look further! ‘Oh, most of their 1x1’s seems to be with friends.’ ‘They roleplay with the same people they joined groups with before’...

    (And yes, that means a little stalking, but we call it scouting. ;^D)

    These are things that worked for me. Along with wonderful friends (and staff in part as well) I feel that I have truly grown into a better person in time. I hope that they will help you as well in gaining confidence along with all the other advice the members gave you. Breaking a habit is hard, I still struggle, you’re allowed to struggle, but don’t back down. It is like the character in your profile picture, Hibari. He keeps on biting, even when outnumbered or losing. He may be an exaggeration and an anime character, but you have to respect the determination he was given. XD
     
    #15 Nemopedia, Feb 3, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2018
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  16. To answer some of the questions you have asked. I am not used to roleplaying in groups or in the realms since i am unfamiliar to them and one of the main reasons i do not do those. And yes i do prefer to roleplay over PM's. I do appreciate when people do listen but it is hard to wonder why it does not work for me but for everyone else it seems to work easier. And i do not know if i will get the help to gain confidence along with the other advice i have received. And it is true that breaking a habit is hard and it seems i am still struggling to break my habit.
     
  17. There is one way to familiarise yourself and that is by joining! Though, I won't force you if you don't want to. It is just a thought I wanted to give to you. I find that joining group roleplays helps me figure out what I want. It also helps me meet people that can be potential roleplay partners later. However, that is just my experience and my side of it.

    I for one have never joined a Realm roleplay, yet I'm managing a Realm now. It is unfamiliar and it is at times scary, because expectations (yikes!) but I get over my insecurities and fears and push through anyway. The reasons for that being that I love the world I built and wish to see it alive, the second being that I also want to show that I can do this. To myself above all. And what better way to learn than by just doing it?

    And if I may ask, why is it that you prefer the PM's so much more than the forums?

    You see, you're comparing yourself again with others! Others seem to have it easier, but there is a lot of thought and work behind it. Just dare to ask them, ask me! Everyone likes to boast a little after their struggles. I do at least! c:

    And to get back to what was in the first post. I think the advise to take a break from roleplaying is absolutely bull unless you have for some reason come to dislike roleplaying itself. Which is also a good question to ask. Do you dislike roleplaying in every form and manner? Or is it that you are just frustrated because you can't find anything you like that is also long-lasting?

    If it is dislike, then yes, taking a break could be good. If it is frustration, I would advise to stay and to try new things.

    So far you have been sounding frustrated to me. Which is understandable. It is why everyone here is trying to advise you to try something new and take a different approach. That is also the best suggestion I can make. However, ultimately it is you that will make the choice and the possible change(s) afterwards. I'm not going to convince you, but I will give you my perspective just like the rest did and hope that it will help you in whatever decision you make.
     
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  18. To the questions, you now have asked i will say i do not dislike roleplaying at any form or manner. It's the frustration that no matter what i try to do i do not seem interesting to people and nothing that is long-lasting and to my comparison to other people it seems they have better luck than me. I prefer PM's because there the roleplay for me is not as cluttered and the forums i feel posts could get lost there and i never did a roleplay in a forum so i tend to avoid that along with any possibility of making a fool of myself. I never joined a realm roleplay either and i feel like in terms of a group roleplay i am more likely to probably be left behind than anything else .
     
  19. Incoming nifty site features!

    If you look at the top of a thread you can see the words ‘watch thread’. When you click on that you get the option to activate email notifications or not. Select one, hit the button ‘Watch Thread’ and every time someone posts you get an alert on your profile informing you of said new posts!

    Most people select no email notifications, but it all depends on whether you want to receive an email copy or not of the new post. I like it for certain (moderator) business, but I also detest my mail box to be flooded. It is a personal preference!

    Threads that you have watched can also be found through the upper tab ‘Forums’ > Watched Threads. It will display all threads with unread new posts for you. The page also lets you click through with ‘show all watched threads’ to, you may have guessed it; all of the threads that you watch.

    Another way to keep track of the threads and posts are bookmarks. Bookmark the latest post in the thread and you should always be able to access the exact post through the tab ‘Bookmarks’. To bookmark a post you can look at the tools underneath the post, there is a button thats says exactly that.

    You will never lose posts and threads like that and keep everything that matters to you organised in one place! It helps me tremendously, and I think it might help you seeing the problems you mentioned with the forums!
     
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