Role play: Positive or Negative Effect On Self Confidence

Role playing effect on your own self confidence


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Where's my no effect option?
 
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It really depends on what aspect you're talking about specifically.

For example, I find that Roleplaying has helped me in regards to growing as an individual. When you make new characters you have to immerse yourself, you have to think, act and behave like a whole new person, look at the world and situations in a new way or manner. This opens your mind to new perspectives, new ways to thinking and ultimately allows one to grow as a person.

But then when I look at another area of roleplaying, the community it takes a different story.
I have met a number of individuals I like, who I have befriended and grown from. However, I'm more likely to run into toxic people than positive people. From my own experience, Roleplaying forums tend to attract certain types of personalities. One of those personalities is something I'm going to call "The Judging Introvert". These are people who either naturally prefer being alone, or have dealt with enough shitty people they prefer to isolate themselves. Fair enough, I think everyone here (myself included) can relate to that. However, a lot of people don't do it in a "I am happier this way" manner but in a "I shall now sit here. And be judging and pessimistic to everyone I meet" or "People are a virus. They should all fuck off and leave me alone with my book". Which has time and time again created cliches, popularity contests, elitist roleplayer's and a lot of talking behind peoples backs, enough that it suddenly becomes 'cool' to shit-talk certain people.

And an unfortunate side effect of being a forum roleplayer is that you will run into these types of people, a lot. And for me personally I think this had lead to some negative habits.

Firstly, it has caused an amount of social... sporadicness. Basically I've dealt with people turning the forums into a High School, or people suddenly being really cold on a consistent basis. They might be totally cool people sometimes, but then they might turn right back around and be nasty as all hell if the mood hits them. And this level of judging and unpredictably has made me develop two conflicting behaviours at the same time.

1) I'm more likely to be paranoid about people's opinions.
I'm constantly thinking about what someone might think, what they're saying to others, how each of my posts are being picked and torn for every bit of dirt they can. If someone is going to be fun and cool, or if they're going to suddenly turn around and start being snappy. This had lead to a number of occasions where I became convinced people just have it completely in for me, and make it a constant habit to speak poorly about me to others to their friends, and then have their friends think poorly of me even if we barely interacted.

2) I'm more likely to go "Fuck it. I don't give a shit"
This is likely more of a by-product of #1. And I know this part hasn't gone unnoticed, because I've seen several people on Iwaku remark about me having thick skin or being able to take shit well. But truth be told, I wasn't always like that (nor am I always like that now). That sort of thick skin was something I trained myself to have, I spent so much time trying to appease people and only becoming a punching bag for it that I decided it wasn't worth the trouble. I spent so much time trying to open dialogue with people, to understand them better, only for them to snap back and paint me as a trouble maker. So once again, I decided it wasn't worth the trouble. I ended up deciding I had a choice to make, continue to try appeasing people and be shit on for it. Or simply ignore those people, do what I feel is right and be shit on for it. I was going to get shit either way, so might as well be true to myself and not give much concern to others. But alas, I'm only human so there are times people can get to me, hard. And the fact this is a forum site, it's rather easy to simply calm down before replying. And since all people can see is the words I type, and not my body language, tone of voice, facial expressions it's a lot more easy to not show people how irritated I might really be.


So to answer the question?

Yes it has helped me be able to grow and become more open-minded as a person.
But no, it has also made a number of things worse in regards to dealing with social climates and quite simply what I expect out of people in general.
 
Lately, it's made me a lot less confident.

I used to feel that I was a decent writer, but lately everything has felt like complete trash. I used to have roleplays that I loved to reread, and partners that gave me a challenge. I'm not saying I don't love my partners now. I do! I just haven't found anyone that can give me a push the way some of my old partners did. (I really wish the old roleplayer guild hadn't disappeared. I had the most amazing assassin rp.....Ugh! I still cry thinking about it vanishing. :()

But my writing isn't the only thing that's starting to lower my confidence. I've been having a major struggle to think of words lately, which is down right terrifying. It's not one of those moments where there's a word and it's on the top of my head and it comes to me minutes later. I'm talking about simple words that I shouldn't have problems with are eluding me completely. It's not just with writing though. It's happening even when I'm talking, but it's with my writing that it's really starting to bother me the most.

I love to write. I could go on for pages and pages when I'm inspired. I miss having a partner that can keep up with me without having a major panic attack whenever they see a wall of text. Most importantly, I miss having ideas! I feel like my creativity has run dry and I'm just going with the same old crap without coming up with anything new. It's depressing.
 
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Ugh! I still cry thinking about it vanishing. :(
My sympathies, I can relate. :/ I had all my posts deleted from a forum once and it still stings at times, thinking of all those rps that are no longer complete.
 
My sympathies, I can relate. :/ I had all my posts deleted from a forum once and it still stings at times, thinking of all those rps that are no longer complete.
3 of my greatest rps ever disappeared. It's like a kick to the heart. =/
 
@Nydanna
Do you mind if I offer a few suggestions that might help you out? Your post broke my heart, not gonna lie, and I wanna offer something to help. *showers Nydanna in hearts*
 
@Nydanna
Do you mind if I offer a few suggestions that might help you out? Your post broke my heart, not gonna lie, and I wanna offer something to help. *showers Nydanna in hearts*
Not trying to break hearts. :P I've hit a rough patch with everything. It happens. i honestly think there's something going on with my brain, but my doctor kind of brushed it off when I mentioned it before. Hoping my new doctor will take me a bit more seriously. But if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Anything that can perk me back up. :)
 
Not trying to break hearts. :P I've hit a rough patch with everything. It happens. i honestly think there's something going on with my brain, but my doctor kind of brushed it off when I mentioned it before. Hoping my new doctor will take me a bit more seriously. But if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Anything that can perk me back up. :)


I realize you're not trying to. It just makes me sad when roleplayers can't do what they love. ♥

But yes, I hope the new doctor takes you more seriously!

As for suggestions, try reading more and playing games where you can design a character OR have a character without a set story or better—no dialog or personality, so you can insert your own (Stardew is good and also helps with memory a little). Also, install the dictionary.com app on your phone and put the widget on your front page so you can see the word of the day.

To deal with forgetting words, I'll usually contact a friend who's as into them as I am and knows the pain of forgetting them and start trying to figure it out. Once you know it, it turns from frustration to relief, and maybe even laughter as you both realize you spent ten minutes trying to figure out a word. This one has a bonus, too, because you feel closer with your friend afterwords. ;D

I hope those suggestions help. ♥
 
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Eh, maybe a minor increase in confidence, purely in the way of greater confidence in my writing abilities. No noticeable change in the overall confidence levels over the years, but I still voted more confident because there's that one bit of increase with no decrease at all.
 
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I realize you're not trying to. It just makes me sad when roleplayers can't do what they love. ♥

But yes, I hope the new doctor takes you more seriously!

As for suggestions, try reading more and playing games where you can design a character OR have a character without a set story or better—no dialog or personality, so you can insert your own (Stardew is good and also helps with memory a little). Also, install the dictionary.com app on your phone and put the widget on your front page so you can see the word of the day.

To deal with forgetting words, I'll usually contact a friend who's as into them as I am and knows the pain of forgetting them and start trying to figure it out. Once you know it, it turns from frustration to relief, and maybe even laughter as you both realize you spent ten minutes trying to figure out a word. This one has a bonus, too, because you feel closer with your friend afterwords. ;D

I hope those suggestions help. ♥
Thanks! I've been reading quite a bit, and I've spent a good chunk of my days playing FF. The word thing has been troubling, but I'm working around it and keeping my fingers crossed that it's just a temporary side effect from yanking myself off meds without being weaned off. But, I'll be starting them back up on Friday until my new doctor can put me on something else. Keeping my fingers crossed that once I get everything back on track I can get back into my writing without feeling like I'm killing my brain cells.
 
Thanks! I've been reading quite a bit, and I've spent a good chunk of my days playing FF. The word thing has been troubling, but I'm working around it and keeping my fingers crossed that it's just a temporary side effect from yanking myself off meds without being weaned off. But, I'll be starting them back up on Friday until my new doctor can put me on something else. Keeping my fingers crossed that once I get everything back on track I can get back into my writing without feeling like I'm killing my brain cells.
Oh, yeah, changing medications and stuff does have a pretty big effect on the mind. Hopefully things work out once you see your doctor. =D

I'll be cheering for you!
 
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