Helen Tears threaten to escape me as I see them all stare, Nellie and Penelope clearly in horrified shock. Cyrus has his hold on me still, so gentle yet firm. I think it's almost protective, as if he let me go he feared that something horrible would happen. I think Penelope's glance is the one that breaks my heart the most. She looks absolutely devastated and I regret speaking a word. I almost regret existing in this period of time, and with shame I place my head in my hands, trying not to shake in Cyrus's arm. "I-I am s-sorry. T-that wasn't a-a-appropriate..." "Helen..."I hear Cyrus breathe, who is clearly choked up. I can't tell if he's trying to hold back a cry or an angry exclamation. "N-nellie's right." He finishes, although I don't think that's what he is thinking right now. I feel my chest tremble and I realize she might be right. That room is safe. Books and pillow forts sound oddly therapeutic. A nice thought crosses my mind. All five of us just cuddling on the couch, blanket wrapped around all of us. A little smile threatens to grow upon my lips. I didn't think I would ever get this far. But somehow I did. I don't know if they realize how much I love them all...I love them all so much it hurts... I finally feel Cyrus let go of me, if somewhat hesitantly. He gives my head one last pat, his little tap so filled with care I felt my heart become overwhelmed. I wonder why I didn't have a friend like Cyrus in my life when shit when loose. I had a feeling he would have been the type of friend to warn me against such a horrible person. I can just imagine it now, him snapping his fingers and proclaiming "Honey you don't know him, he don't own you. Bitch you don't love him, that little fucker don't got nothin on you hun." I almost laugh at the silly image in my head, but my throat seems to swallow it before it has a chance to escape me. "Come on Chipmunk." I hear before Demi takes me in her arms in a hug. I immediately feel my arms wrap around her and I squeeze her tight. I hope she knew how damn huggable she was. She was basically my lifeboat when all things went hellish. As was Penelope. I glance over at her as we leave the kitchen and I feel my eyes sting again. I should have trusted her to tell her. I was just so afraid she would look at me differently. I could already tell she might. I simply bury my head in Demi's shoulder and try to gain calmness once again.