Relationship Advice?

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Arcadia, Oct 20, 2014.

  1. I know by this title it sounds like I'm in one; I am not. I want to be though. There's a girl I think is really pretty in my history class and I don't know what to do. She's always with her friends and I never really get a chance to talk to her so I'm kind of stuck.
     
  2. Pretty outwardly or inwardly? A pretty personality is always more important that a pretty exterior.

    I suggest finding a couple things she likes then striking up a conversation. It's important to go into a relationship not because you want to date/bang her, but because you want to get to know her better and become friends. If you go into it aiming to become her hubby, you're more than likely going to be disappointed.

    Don't rush it. Coming on too strong scares the shit out of people. I do this all too often, hence the reason children cry when they look at me and grown men tremble in their pants. Like I said, talk to her with the intentions of becoming friends.

    Ask yourself a few questions:

    Why do I like her?

    What type of person is she?

    Will this be a positive influence in my life? In other words, will this be a volcano of DRAMA?

    And remember, a lot of teenagers think they need to be in a relationship and that if they don't rush to lose their virginities and all that crap, they never will. You have a whole life ahead of you, and believe me, teenage relationships are some of the stupidest things I have seen (coming from a fellow teenager). Make sure you're advancing on her because you genuinely want to, not because you feel pressured or in a rush to find a significant other :)
     
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  3. Well, I like her because she's really pretty. Like she steals my attention because she is my type in terms of appearance, which is brown hair and blue eyes, and in terms of type of person, because of my lack of talking to her, I don't really know, but she's polite, which makes me think she's nice. If I struck up a conversation with her properly, I probably would figure out what she's like. And yes. I kind of am in a rush, but it's because I just keep getting rejected by girls and I just want for once to not be.
     
  4. That's why it's important to approach her as a friend. Honestly, all I can say is put yourself out there more. Get to know a lot more people, and talk to everyone. Be open minded, and make more female friends- there's a lot more ladies out there than just her, even. Don't worry about being rejected, because people are still growing in high school. Just present yourself as honestly an naturally as you can; if she doesn't appreciate that go ahead and move on. You'll be fine~
     
  5. Well, I'll repeat what's been said, don't rush. Rushing is what gets people into bad situations, myself included. Twice I've rushed into something and come out badly on the other end. Slow and steady will win out in the end, especially if you discover a quality about this girl that isn't appealing to you.

    It's great that you want to get to know her. I know a lot of teenagers who are more likely to hit it and quit it before they get into too-deep stuff with others, so good on you for doing your best to make a friendship.

    A good way to find out if she really is nice is to look at how she treats her friends. You can tell a lot about a person by simply watching how they treat their familiars.

    A thing to keep in mind is to not think about a relationship. Think of her as a friend first, then as a potential girlfriend. If you go into something thinking that you'll end up with her, you're more likely to be disappointed, and it's that disappointment that encourages bad decisions. Don't let yourself fall into that hole.
     
  6. I'd typically would just deny those feelings being me, and if its due to appearance alone I'd say try becoming friends first. It's better to read the book than to gawk at the cover.
    And even then, relationships often are so dependent on "if" and "might" that you really shouldn't rush or wait, or you'll lose your chances.
     
  7. Personally I'd not dance around it and just go for it, strike up some small talk (history class is something you have in common) and then just ask if she's free the weekend. If her friends are always around her, well let them be around. It just means you have balls of steel. You'll get to know the girl better over coffee or something, see if you're capable of having fun together on a date, and base your decision if you want to see where it goes from there on whether you like the girl you just got to know a little. That simple.

    Though let it go with the flow, because rushing something will blow up in your face. I don't think it's a good idea to try and be friends first, not only because you'd be lying to the both of you, but also because she will probably see right through that. Still, before you go into any of this; ask yourself what you think a relationship is. What it should be and if that definition aligns with what you want. Your posts sound like you require affirmation of your person which you hope to gain by dating this girl and that's not how it works. So before you do anything, be honest with yourself.
     
  8. Dude, just go for it. She'll never know how you truly feel unless you approach her (be it when she's with her friends or alone). That's all you have to do. Be confident, stand up straight, ask her out, do what you have to do to let her know how you feel. Just don't go overboard, if you know what I mean there. (:
     
  9. I didn't date anyone until I got to college. This was a personal decision and I'm happy with it.


    My advice: Just be yourself.

    As cliche as it is it, surprisingly, works. People with common interests etc. will gravitate towards you and you to them.
     
  10. This is just a repeat at what some of the others have said, but just introduce yourself to her. Become friends with her, and get to know her. Girls appreciate it when a guy takes the time to get to know them. Oh, and do not try to be all 'cool' around her to impress her. Be yourself. I wish you the best of luck at pursuing this girl. ^.^
     
  11. Okay here some advise doesn't know it'll be helpful:
    1.know her a lot more - The most reason why people doesn't have a harmonious relationship nowadays is that they only want the positive side rather than the negative personality and they doesn't work that well together.

    2.be yourself - If you don't be yourself then you already deceived 2 people, your partner and yourself. In a relationship what's most important things are trust, acceptance, as well as honesty. Without these 3 relationship tend to have a lot more downside, not to be like accepting people who always hurt you some sort like that but accept your partner downfall such as when she/he's bad at something encourage them.

    3. Sometime Ideal isn't the best one for you - what I've learnt is that as a human we do EXPECT something for example you want a high quality pen but ended up getting a normal one, now not saying that people are like things but sometimes what's best for us is the one that we doesn't expect of course maybe your partner match with your ideal but think those things are additional point, or blessing to be exact.

    and can I question you:

    Please refer the word love in your own word

    If you can't answer this then I'm sorry if I'm harsh but you better find that answer before thinking to have a relationship with someone

    I'm not trying to be bad or anything but please think twice or ignore it but I'm sure that if you desperate to find partner now and even you get her now, it's highly possible chances that you guys will only spend a year or 2 the longest and never take the word love lightly


    ____________________________________________________________________
    There are things that you can do to know her a lot more though:

    1.MAKE THE MOVE- first of all man up, if you never take the first step then no one will move

    2.Talk to her normally- NEVER give indication that you're in love with until you're sure about it

    3. DO NOT BE OVER STALKISH - either boy/girl will hate it and you'll know why once you experience it.

    4.NEVER EXAGGERATE THINGS- don't go like "oh yeah I ever watch this movie and this movie" eventhough you never watch that movie or else CHECKMATE

    5. BE EFFING YOURSELF- explained at above

    6. find her interest and try to learn it as in not indepth maybe a portion and then try to talk with her about that such as "Harry potter" not try to read some of the books and make a conv with your partner and from that I'M SURE you'll find the other thing he/she love!
     
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  12. Being a girl I will admit it can get anoying that a guy wants to date you then he just leaves outta the blue it hurts so if u want her keep her don't leave n think oh she will b back not all the time she will.