Rekindling Interest

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Xindaris, Jul 8, 2010.

  1. Quinn Kimberly

    I sigh in relief as she accepts my number and agrees to call whenever she ever feels the precipice of another panic attack approaching. Honestly, I completely understand that Carrie is a strong woman. She's one of the strongest I've ever met. However, there's no weakness in admitting that you need others, in admitting that you might not be able to handle something on your own. I suppose I can't blame her though--Lord knows I thought the same way. But I'm gradually starting to realize how faulty and self-destructive of a mindset that is.

    "Thank you," I say lowly. Flashing Carrie one last exhausted smile, I give her hand a squeeze and step out of the hospital room. It doesn't go to say that it's easy, as it feels like I'm a lonely little magnet trying to pull away from the most powerful magnet in existence. It's much to leave her than I expect. A part of me is unsettled by how raw and unknown this emotion is, but an even bigger part basks in the fact that I finally have someone to care about so much.

    But still, in the end, Carrie's right.

    She's strong and can handle anything.

    As I head off, my advances are cut short by the same doctor who attempted to separate me from my sister. I slice him with a withering glare. "What."

    He winces a bit from the look, but attempts to right himself and adjusts his glasses. A clipboard is in his hands once again, which instantly sets off alarm bells in my head. "I-I was just about to head in and go over some paperwork with you and your...?"


    "Aunt. Yes, right. Well, either way, could you perhaps spare a moment to talk?" My mouth is already prepping to turn him down, but he continues, "It's just some of that information you gave us is a"

    I pale.

    "...Miss Harvey?"

    My insides hollow out. I slowly pivot away from him...

    His hand stretches out to my shoulder.

    "Miss Har--!!"


    I leave nothing but a ringing in his ears and the paperwork a fluttering mess in the hall.

    I've noticed the more I read books, the more I want to WRITE.

    But I went through this long period where I never read any books for awhile. And I'm still not having enough time/attention span to sit down and read like I used to. I've got tons of cool books on the shelf that I haven't touched yet.

    And it's not even because I don't have the time to read. I'm just not MAKING the time to sit down and read. Once I get started, I can't stop reading the book. But just that one motion of settling down is such a pain in the ass.

    ...I have no idea how to fix the problem, though! Just gotta sit and read and ignore everything else, I guess. .__.;
  3. I know your pain...I've been the same the last four years of my life. :(

    I've just recently started to somewhat pick up recreational books to read (mostly stuff i've already read though lol)

    At first I had to sort of will myself to do it, but then I was bored one day and had free time. Instead of turning on the TV or getting on my computer I grabbed an old book I'd read and knew I'd enjoyed before. I grabbed my headphones to so that I could sit down and read without thinking really much about TV and such because if I listen to music then I tend to focus more at the tasks I'm doing. It was nice to actually start reading again. I was a slow reader because my brain was trying to process everything (instead of my usual quick skimming of pages for text books) but I got back into the flow of it.

    So perhaps just take some of that free time and just find a nice quiet place where you can be alone to focus on the book. Don't have a lot of distractions around either ^^
  4. I've been having this problem as well. It's really just a matter of mustering up the willpower to make the first move, turn the first page.

    Location plays a big role though. I'm more apt to get distracted if I'm reading in my room than if I'm reading in a car or something like that.

    So maybe try reading in a vehicle, bathroom, somewhere boring where you can get away with it... like a class or something? Obviously someplace to your best judgment.

    Perhaps if you always have a book on you, you'll find yourself in a situation where you want something to focus on, and there you'll have it. :P
  5. This is funny, I've just had the opposite experience. I just started reading this big book called 'Shantaram', cool and funny story about......anyways, it keeps me hooked. And I've never really read books. So it's a new experience to me.

    At first I thought it would be best to move this thread to counselling since you are asking for advice, but if you want to keep it here, then thats okay.
  6. Opposite problem here, too. Recently, I got off a three year-long reading/writing/rping deprevation. Now to balance out the stress I get from trying to find a new job/school/etc. I'm rping and plotting to a point where it's probably obnoxious.

    What's happenin' with you is pretty normal. Sounds like you're in college and have a lot of reading to do. It's not unusual for students to feel a 'burn out,' on reading; in fact, it's a good way to use that pent up energy you get from sitting and studying to go out and explore! Your love for reading and writing will never go away, and when you get to a place where you want it to occupy more of your time, it won't take you long to get back in the swing of things.

    Just think of this as your life balancing itself out, and discovering new and interesting things. :D

    And not to say that during this period you still won't read and write for pleasure, just maybe not as much.
  7. Wow, I thought it would be a lot more rare than that..but I guess this is a site where a lot of the kind of people who would actually be worried about themselves not reading would show up..?
    But anyway, thanks for the encouragement. :) It's good to know that it isn't a unique case of stubbornly disagreeable brain syndrome or something.

    The reason I didn't put this in counseling (and I'm perfectly happy to leave it to moderator judgment whether it's a good one or not) is because I'm not having the kind of major, life- or health- (or mental health-) threatening problems that seem to generally be put there, and I'd feel kind of like some character in a tragic war play complaining about losing a quarter were this topic among those topics.