Reality Wishes [Redsun Criminal and Clyde M]

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She was surprised he cared enough to traverse these waters, and have her recount those memories. No one usually did.

Except now she felt as though she was being put on the spot.

"Well uh...", she began, closing her eyes and rubbing them, trying not to let the sudden attention get to her. "It was, like, an actual indoor establishment... not like a truck or outdoor vendor or... anything like that", she paused, then continued, "the layout was actually pretty similar to this restaurant, just imagine white walls, less wood, and... a lot less customers".

She was on a roll now, "It was a small business, only one location, run by two thirty year-old brothers. They named it 'Ville du Vanille'", she explained, trying her best to pronounce it in French, before adding, "...Even though nothing about the place was French... Neither were the owners".

It was then she realized he probably didn't care about any of this. He probably wanted to know more about her experience there, and not the establishment itself. There were some things she didn't mind sharing, but she vowed to gloss over the last month she spent there and how she eventually quit.

"My job wasn't exactly glamorous. I was like the errand-girl, the official b-", she stopped herself from cursing, it was sort of an inside joke, she thought it would sound silly and vulgar to mention it considering she just recently met this person.

She abruptly corrected herself, "b-uhh busy... helper. Yes. Their busy helper... heh. I had an apron and everything. The owners there trusted me, they were actually really nice people... but I got the short end of the stick when it came to my duties, and... I almost never got to touch the ice cream machine, let alone the front counter".

The restaurant got quieter for a second. Riley paused again, looked around, and waited for more people to flood the air with noise pollution before continuing, "There was another girl that worked there with me. High schooler, trying to get her volunteer hours done...", she looked up, resting her chin on her hand, "We hit it off pretty well, but she ended up moving out of Sonoko, so... yeah".

Internally, she applauded herself, as that was the longest she managed to speak to him in one go. Now she was worried she had bored him to death, or maybe her retelling of the whole thing didn't make any sense.

"Not much else to tell really... hehehe...", she concluded with a sort of half-nervous giggle.
 
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[BCOLOR=transparent]Alton simply nodded while listening. It was a bit disappointing to hear that her experiences were more like his than being grander than what he expected. He didn't even understand why he expected it to be grander than his own personal experiences. Probably because he was looking for some kind of hope that motivated him. He knew he was suppose to motivate himself. Yet, he wish there was something that could life his morale and help him motivate himself better.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Truth be told Riley didn't say much. She just stared at him most of the time and he appreciated her trying to help with his bleeding. He just wish she put a bit more effort into it. Here was struggling, but he was putting a lot more effort into this. He made the decision to sit here. He made the decision for the game. He made the decision for the tea. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]All she had done is went along with it, like her senseless dog sitting outside. Did she have no aspirations of herself?[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Alton suck in his seat a little and drank his tea in silence. At first he was going to tease her, tell her that she didn't even bother to ask him another question. Yet, his phone going off was what cut through the silence between them.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"So...sorry," Alton mumbled. Though he was expected to answer immediately, at least within the next few minutes that he got the message, If it was in fact his sister. If it was anyone else, face it he had no one else, than Alton would have ignored it. One unread message. Read. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Sister: You need to watch Emery later tonight. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]It was never could you. She would make plans, sometimes even last minute plans and tell him. Why did he even need to be watched anyway? If she had not forgotten, they were left at the house at that age alone. No one died. Something like irritation must have slipped his face because he was staring at his phone with a deep scowl.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Me: Fine[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]It was like this at work too. Alton too was a "busy" helper. He would always go into a new job. Show promise. His managers would praise him. Call him a hard worker. Say that he's one of their best. But god forbid he had an off day. He'd get yelled at and threatened. He'd be insulted. But god forbid he didn't take someone else shift. He'd get in trouble if he didn't take his other employee's shift when no one ever wanted to cover him. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He'd always take over last minute shifts, and most of the time it was his employers wanting to go to a concert, wanting to see a friend they haven't seen in years, wanted to go to a concert. One time he was literally puking in a toilet and they still wanted him to come in on his regular shift because no one wanted to take over his shift.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Everyone thought they could simply take advantage of him. They could run him around in a maze and laugh at him. Everyone around here didn't ask him how he was doing. It was easier for them to put all of the blame on him. Tell him he was selfish and a burden. Rather than sitting down and talking about topics he wanted to talk about. Heed advice about.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]His phone went off, which distracted him from his five minute staring contest with his phone. Oh he had forgotten Riley was here too. She just saw that. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Sister: I give you my home. Don't fine me. Answer with a smile and say yes I'd love to. Don't be an asshole.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]What he wanted to say, was smiley emoticon, sarcastic, I'd fucking love to do it. But he really wrote.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Me: Okay. Sorry.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He sat his phone down. Staring at Riley. Who was trying not to watch him. But at the same time watching him.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I'm not a child," it seemed to come out of nowhere telling her this, "People often think that it's just okay to demean me and treat me like a child. They expect all of the adult responsibility, but belittle me as a child." He stared at her, "I'm not a child people can take advantage of." he added one more time. All this talk about work and his sisters' nagging, shit attitude, kind of put him in a stalemate of wanting to hang out with Riley. And wanting to destroy something. Usually he settled with picking at his scabs, which he began to do so.[/BCOLOR]
 
A silence fell between them once again. The tension had returned.

She was supposed to ask a question, but she didn't know where to go from there. Family, work and school pretty much summed up the major things normal people ask each other about, what else was there? Perhaps, she thought, she could ask him what kind of music he listened to... However, not only did that seem equally pointless to her last question, but that would also mean he would have to return the same question. Riley wouldn't have much of an answer due to the fact that she never really became a devout listener of any one genre or group, and often downloaded music on a whim.

Based on his reaction, his lack of comments, she assumed that he was in fact bored to death from her explanation of her time at the ice cream shop. Great, another opportunity squandered, Riley scorned her own lack of conversation skills.

While Riley had been beating herself up, and lost in her own mind, Alton had become absorbed by an incoming text message. Again. Unsurprisingly, she now began pestering herself with the thought that whoever he was messaging must be far more interesting than herself.

For the next little while, she pulled out her phone and appeared to be typing something also, it was a common defence against awkward situations in popular culture. Honestly though, she was just scrolling through her measly eight contacts, most of whom were family, reading old messages.

Whatever was happening on Alton's phone was starting to upset him, it seemed. Secretly, this was relieving. Especially so when he locked and laid his phone on the table.

'I'm not a child people can take advantage of'

Okay. Something was wrong, and she didn't want bad emotions to corrupt the meeting. Now was her chance to be supportive, to try to be a good friend.

At first, Riley only stared back at him, while taking a sip of tea. She then slowly put down the mug, forced her phone back into the stupid-tight pocket of her jeans, and spoke up.

"Was that you're... uh... parents or something?", she asked, attempting to be as polite about it as possible about it, while also trying to avoid showing that his scab-scratching kind of bothered her.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]Alton frowned for a second and took another sip of his Earl grey tea before looking at Riley. His parents? He hasn't talked to his parents in what seemed like over a year. When they deemed he wasn't getting better. That he wasn't listening to their advice. That somehow they were smarter than him. Instead of asking him how he was doing. Instead of supporting him. And guiding them. They were nearly as bad as his sister and his brother.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]His family was so messed up. An unsupportive mess of bullshit. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"My sister actually," he finally responded, "Fuck it Riley. Fuck it." He finally just added. Might as well say. Everyone else judged him so why not just say it. So she could make up her mind.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I'm not a nice person Riley, according to a lot of people, especially the people in my household," Alton told her he was speaking fast, and frantically, "Apparently I don't care about anyone and I am selfish. Instead of giving me the courtesy of asking. They demand it and expect me to just do it just because they hold everything they have ever done for me over my head like a carrot. It couldn't possible be because I am alone. No I am a bad person, who is selfish and didn't care about them. Yet the irony is they don't care about me."[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]That was the most he had ever talked in one go. He had to catch his breath. Damn he must sound weak sauce if he was getting out of breath because of monologues. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"When I was away for those few months and I was in the hospital, I attempted suicide," he told it, it wasn't the first time and he wasn't saying it as if it were a shocking revelation. But might as well get the cat of the bag so she could just walk away. Walk away and judge. What was the point of being coy about what he did? What was the point of being coy anyway? "Except that I failed to do so more spectacular than trying to hang myself in the wrong way. More like I fell off the railing of my third story apartment building."[/BCOLOR]
 
It was a lot to take in at first. In the same way he scratched at his scabs for too long, causing them to reopen, Alton had exposed his wounds. Not just the root cause of his physical scars, but he gave a glimpse into the damage dealt beneath the surface. She imagined it must take a lot of effort to hide something like that, to bury the pain... meet someone new, pretending everything is fine.

There's no way this made him a selfish person in her eyes, how could it? The way she sees it, everything is the fault of circumstance, and humans are always made the victims. Blaming someone for trying to end themselves isn't a healthy way of going about helping that person... and it was clear Alton didn't have many people, if anyone, to support him.

What did that make her, then? What did that make this meeting? Burying his past self had suddenly come to mean so much more. He was here to put all of this behind him, start moving in a better direction, and he wanted Riley's help to do so. She wasn't sure if she was qualified to deal with this kind of thing... but she doubted he could afford regular treatment on his own.

A part of her desperately hoped she wasn't his last thread, his last attempt at redemption. She didn't want to be responsible for something like that. She couldn't. If she was being honest, she had in fact tried to hurt herself once as well, but the measures she took weren't nearly so drastic. There was no way she could bright that up right now, however.

Riley tried to remain as unphased as he was about all of this. If she overreacted now, what chance would they have at maintaining this meeting? Her face was expressionless, though a little disturbed. Glaring down at the unfinished tea that she couldn't bear to drink right now, she opened her mouth slightly to release a single painful breath.

"I need to use the bathroom", she half-whispered, hoping to get a moment to clear her head and process all of this...
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]"Yeah of course," Alton said as best as he could and watched Riley head off to the bathroom. In some essence he was curious in how she was going to tell him off. Yell at him. Tell him how much she was disappointed in him. That seemed like the course of appropriate action. He was simply curious as to how she would tell him off.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]It kind of reminded him of a date he had a year ago. When he had to confess to his ex girlfriend, that he did indeed in fact to attempt suicide. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"You know Alton, I don't think this is going to work between us,"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Alton, I'm sorry, but someone who doesn't love themselves, obviously won't love anyone else. It shows your selfish qualities,"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]And they had known each other for a year n half. Yet she knew nothing about him in the end of the day. And the more digging she did, was a person she did not like. So he understood it. He got it. He wish Riley had more confidence just to tell him straight up he was worthless human garbage. Except that he'd wait for her reply. He was a glutton for punishment it seemed as he waited for her to tell him that they couldn't be friends and they would never hang out together.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He got it. He understood completely.But it was better to get it out of the way now. [/BCOLOR]
 
I'm not ready for this, she thought incessantly, pacing back and forth in front of the mirror, it was a self-limiting phrase she was so very used to telling herself.

Riley imagined the uncertain friendship they had in real life as a long, thin, white strip of cloth held by each of them on either end.

Since his arrival, Alton's personal issues had been bleeding from him. The dark weighty liquid of his own tribulations soaking into the thin cloth that was the delicate and unsure connection between them. His clear lack of confidence, the injuries holding him back, his apparently oppressive family, and now this... The first few weights were bearable, things they could work through, as friends, and eventually conquer together... but this. It was something that even Domino would have had trouble dealing with. Not to mention how devastated Domino specifically would be if he knew how Esp- Alton felt about himself, and the lengths he went to end his own internal struggle...

It wasn't often someone told you they had attempted to end their own life, much less on the same day you've met that person. Either he didn't care enough to hide them, or the scars on his heart were too poignant for him to keep concealed. Or worse still, what if this was his last call for help? What if she really was his last effort? The thin, and now blood-soaked silk may very well be the only thing he has left to hold on to.

I'm not ready for this, she went on still. Subconsciously, she was expecting that Esper in person would at least more confident and less nervous than herself. Someone who would have trouble accepting her because of how different she was from Lorryth, but someone she might eventually be able to lean on and gain support from. It sounded much easier, but the reality of things weren't so simple. Here she was, with the complete opposite role, as she was required to be the one to support him, and be the person Alton can lean on and gain support from.

I'm not that kind of person, she thought, enforcing her own doubt.

Then again, maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe it really was a joint effort. What if she was there to support his burden no more than he was there to support hers?

Riley, of course, did have problems of her own. As much as she refuses to admit it, insecurities thought to have been buried long ago still effect her to this day. They were always there, and before today, before their promise to Domino, she was almost willing to live the rest of her life alongside those fears. Allowing them to hold her back each day, never testing them, never fighting them.

The weight Alton had dropped between them was heavy, but it didn't change the original goal they had set out for themselves within the same hour. To motivate one another to overcome issues like these.

An undead part of her psyche screeched, with a voice quieter than a whisper, for her to end it with Alton altogether. It told her not to bother having faith in him, or in whatever potential for good there might be... out of fear that he may only prove to bring her back down into the dark recesses of her own mind. Taking this chance and supporting one another could lead to both of them failing to beat their demons. It could lead to both of them becoming deadened and depressed, upsetting the carefully constructed balance she had managed to maintain in recent months...

Riley's mind went back and forth, positive and negative, for some time. Thinking about things never made anything better, she found it only brought more uncertainty and less enjoyment. It was now official, in her mind, that she was over-thinking all of this.

Exiting the washroom, she finally resolved to go back out there and make up a response to his revelation on the spot.

Crap. It's not going to happen, is it. Riley returned, sitting there in front of him, and again, not saying anything. She wanted to talk about it, she wanted to shoot forth words laced with gold and make everything better, but she couldn't even bring herself to open her mouth.

Beedoop~ her phone sounded a sound she wasn't very used to hearing, it was a text. She somewhat eagerly took out her phone, grateful for this salvation from the dreaded silence.

Ed: Wher r u? itis raining prety bad. i ll pick u up?

Brother.

It was strange how casual the message seemed, based on the fact that her brother almost never messaged her, and especially so considering his recent predicament... but that didn't make her any less grateful for his offer for a ride.

Now was her chance to speak to Alton, "Hey umm... my brother has his car, did you want to go someplace else?", she offered, seeing that a change of scenery might help them confront and talk about his issue... or distract them from it altogether. "u-unless you needed a ride to the tram station or something, I'm not sure, uh when did you have to like, go? I'm just sort of asking, I guess I uh-", she began stumbling over her own words, as she realized asking him when he was leaving at this point probably came across as a little rude and dismissive.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]Alton picked at the tablecloth, he didn't know how long she had been in the bathroom. Though he assumed he had dropped a literal social atom bomb. It wasn't like he wanted to. But he rather just get it out of the way. No bullshit about the type of person he was. He realized he had picked so much at his scab, blood was running onto the tablecloth. These poor ladies. He didn't mean to do something like that, it was just something he absentmindedly did when he was stressed.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]When Riley finally came back he was sort of waiting for the whole we cannot be friends anymore. I cannot hang out with you speech. And he was prepared for the I understand speech. Yet, she was offering a car ride from her brother. Which sounded more like an off handed way of telling him they couldn't hang out any more.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]If he stuck around, he was nervous he'd make her more uncomfortable. If he left, he was worried that she'd never speak to him again. He was confused on which path to take. He felt those butterflies in his stomach again and the uncomfortable squirming of nervous anxiety.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I….do….don't have anywhere…..to….to be for a while….so….we could hang out some more, let me pay," is what he stammered out because he didn't know how to respond or react or how to feel. [/BCOLOR]
 
That's right. The tea she didn't finish. She totally forgot to thank him.

"Oh. Yeah, thanks for the tea by the way", she stated rather monotonously, almost mumbling. Riley wasn't really used to anyone treating her to anything, much less a person she just met. She wished she had showed a little more enthusiasm, as she wouldn't want his generosity to seem unappreciated. It was difficult, however, to muster that kind of energy after everything that's been said, not to mention difficult due to the wall nervous tension that had resurfaced between them. After taking sight of his scabs oozing blood onto the tablecloth, Riley glanced around the room, trying to avoid showing that it bothered her. She eventually pulled out her phone and read over the text again, trying to decide what to tell Edward, who was waiting for a reply.

"Well uh... it's up to you", she began, rubbing her neck again. "We can stay, we can go some place else...", she explained, shrugging, almost sounding as though she was about to list a third choice. She then gestured towards the window and mentioned, "well... either way... I don't think walking is an option...".

As much as she wanted to reassure Alton that getting a ride was of no burden to her brother, and that he wouldn't mind taking the two of them somewhere, she once again held herself back.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]Alton took a second.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"No problem," Alton told her about tea. He liked doing something like that for people. He liked feeling good about doing something good which wasn't very often. He felt nervous though. First day meeting her and now he was meeting her brother.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"O….o..kay," Alton said, "where do you want to go next?" Because he didn't want to go home yet and deal with his sister. Meeting Riley's brother was the lesser of two evils right now. "Let me pay first."[/BCOLOR]
 
She hadn't really put much thought into they would go from here. Just some place... other than here.

Voicing her feelings on Alton's incident was no small task. Right now, there was no way she could, and so she would have to settle with diverting the issue. Maybe, she mused, they could do something, find a place where they could occupy themselves until she found the right words to say.

Even more generous would be a place where they didn't have to face one another. The awkward staring contest wasn't making her any less tense, and his scabs certainly weren't improving either.

Moreover, she was beginning to worry about her appearance again as the waitress began to walk over, brushing away perfectly straight brown hair; and beginning to worry about how much Alton must hate her for seemingly ignoring him, especially after he had just exposed his dimming heart; and beginning to worry about the fact that there might be someone here that has been eavesdropping on their questionable conversation; and beginning to worry about Lord who had been left unattended outside for quite some time now. An inhale, followed by an exhale.

Me: Were at a place called the sunshine cafe, near the memorial, come when you can.

Ed: ight

'Come when you can', was an understatement, a minimization of the creeping urgency to leave that had made its way up her spine. By the time she had sent the text, read it over multiple times, and made sure she didn't accidentally send it to the wrong person (a phobia of hers), Edward had already responded, and Alton was pulling out his wallet.

The waitress stood there for what felt like ten minutes, as Riley stared directly into the blank beige wall beside their table.

"... I dunno. We'll figure something out I guess", she responded once the waitress got out of earshot. It probably wasn't an adequate answer, but hopefully he would get the hint that she was no longer comfortable talking here.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]Alton walked on up to the counter, taking out his wallet, which honestly was something he made out of duct tape when he found the how to do on the internet. It worked well, if there was one thing he always disliked was big bulky wallets, instead all he needed was a simple card holder and it worked for him. The woman who had originally greeted them smiled at him.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"That will be 4:70," she told him with a smile.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Okay," Alton said handing her his government card. The woman accepted it with a gentle enough grace, placing a comforting hand on his though. It was a really awkward string of events now because he was expected to be touched in a way. She was looking at him with concerned, but caring eyes.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I'm sorry if I overheard what you were talking about," the woman began, "But I am so sorry that happened. The world should never feel like a place you cannot carry on."[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]This was more awkward than telling Riley what had happened to him, he rather Riley be awkward and unsure with him than a random stranger touching him.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Oh….um….thank you for your kind words," he mumbled, though the woman persisted to carry on.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I suggest you talk to Dr. Roberts," the woman said, "I'll give you him his card and you can speak with him. He helped me through my divorce."[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Err…..kay," Alton practically whispered, if he could shrink or go invisible that would be appropriate in circumstances like this. The woman smiled at him, but he couldn't help feeling more uncomfortable. He didn't want her help. Or her pity. Or he stupid doctor. His sister was trying so hard to fix him already, he didn't need people fixing him.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Fixing him, but fixing all the wrongs. They think that was the worse thing. How about feeling empty or hollow? How about feeling imprisoned? How about fixing all the problems that were problems. They weren't problems that lied within him. That was the mistake they kept making. The problems lies within the medicine of the truth of what reality is.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]No one wanted to mess without. No one wanted to feel the weight of the world that he did when he understood the world in the way he did, and no one else could connect to that. It was painful to be alone in that department.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"There you go honey, I hoped I helped," she said with another smile.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Thank you," he said taking his card from her hands, now he really did feel uncomfortable and simply wanted to get out of here. He would risk running in the rain, despite the number of problems with that. He just needed to get out of here before the walls collapsed around him and everyone continued to stare at him.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]They knew he could hear their thoughts. They knew what he had done and they were all thinking of ways to fix him now.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Isn't he the one"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I think he is"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Should we help him"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I did"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"We all need to fix him"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He couldn't be here any more. His chest was tightening up again. Enclosed. Enclosed. Feeling enclosed and imprisoned.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He didn't want Riley to think anything was wrong with him. He simply tried to ignore the pounding in his chest. The tightness. People staring at him, even they were not.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Ca...ca...can your brother meet us elsewhere?" Alton asked. He needed to get out of this social imprisonment.[/BCOLOR]
 
Based on his voice, Riley knew she wasn't alone in her increasing discomfort regarding their current surroundings. After the waitress' unexpected comment, and the invasive advice that followed, she couldn't blame Alton for wanting to leave without even waiting for a ride.

Unfortunately, she knew what it was like. She knew what it was like to have others self-righteously believe that it's their duty to 'help' her. To 'cure' her. Unknowingly or not, such people belittle one's state of mind and ability to make decisions. They admire their own generosity but fail to see their arrogance, praise themselves for their 'good deed' but never realize how condescending it can be.

Then again, she's never tried to end her own life, so maybe this was different. Maybe Alton really did need serious professional help...

Whatever the case was, Riley (not to mention the waitress) was in no place to make that judgement. How he chooses to help himself is entirely up to him. Of that, she was certain.

"Y-yeah, it's no problem, I'm... kinda done here anyway", she explained, once again underplaying her anxiety.

"We can wait just outside, he -my brother- should be here any minute", she added while slouching slightly over the table, arms folded. Her eyes were aimed downwards, fixated on nothing in particular.

For once, she felt a sort of familiarity with him. As if it finally dawned on her that they were truly in the same boat, alone amidst the raving masses of normal society-conforming people who are actually comfortable with themselves.
 
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[BCOLOR=transparent]They were outside of the shop, the atmosphere had turned cool, wet and muggy. The moisture clung to his skin and he felt awkward. The conversation linger in the back of his mind, left out to mold in stale consideration. He wondered at this moment, how messed up Riley thought he was. He fidgeted with his fingers before he spoke up.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I…m...already seeing a therapist," he told her. So there was that sense of relief she could feel just by saying those simple words. And a doctor for his physical condition. He fidgeted again. His phone went off again. It was his sister. He tried to ignore it this time. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Eventually though, with nothing else to do, he turned to his phone.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Sister: Can you pick up some bread since you're out?[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]A mean vindictive side came out of him, when he texted his responses.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Me: I would love to :)[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He waited for his sister's response and stared at the impressions of track marks laid out into the tarmac. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Have you ever considered your life worthless and meaningless?" Alton asked Riley.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]His phone went off.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Sister: Don't you mock me[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Me: I did what you asked. How can I mock you if I did exactly what you asked?[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Alton frowned squinching his lips up, he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, though he ended up coughing after doing so. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]His phone went off again. To combat the nervousness and anxiety of this situation, he looked at the screen again.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Sister: Whatever fuck it, just do what I ask.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Me: I would love to :)[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He knew at this point he'd get an eye roll from her and she'd throw her cellphone into her purse furiously. It's all he had against her. [/BCOLOR]
 
Alton agreed wordlessly, and in only a few brief moments the two found themselves outside. Lord (half sitting in a puddle) didn't seem too happy to see them. For Alton and Riley, however, the wet, uncomfortable exterior was actually an improvement on the atmosphere provided by the shop. It was as if a thousand prying eyes had finally released their heavy gaze.

Riley basked in the brief moment of catharsis, watching raindrops pelt the asphalt...

Alton's unsteady voice broke her reverie. A therapist. That was good. It took quite a bit of weight off of the situation, but she wasn't ready to have a conversation about Alton's issue just yet. Instead of making a comment, she only looked down and nodded her head, allowing the silence to creep up on them again.

There was a sudden wave of shame, or embarrassment. This broken, injured man came all the way here to meet her. She was the person he expected to be a lending hand, no... to be a friend and she couldn't even provide anything beyond a few meagre sentences. Riley felt as though she was wasting his time, as though she was nothing but a burden.

Not too long after, Alton became absorbed by his cellphone, which she now knew was his (apparently pesky) sister. In response, Riley pulled out her own cellphone. She didn't want Alton to feel as though the lack of communication between them was his fault, she wanted him to know that it was okay for him to retreat to his phone when there was nothing to be said. The lack of a conversation was decidedly her fault, after all.

She began typing out a message.


Me: Lord is with us, fyi

Ed: so

Me: Dad doesn't want hair in there... just saying



It's not like they had much of a choice anyway. There was no leaving Lord behind.

Alton's unusual question caught her off guard for a second or two. Her mind was on her brother, but this didn't hinder her response, instead it actually helped. "...My brother used to tell me that life only has as much meaning as you give it. Life's underlying purpose is subjective...", she explained, though her brother's exact wording was a little less... fluent. "I'd like to believe him", she added after a pause, "but, honestly, I'm not so sure...". Glancing over, she noticed Alton was once again occupied by his phone, and so Riley retreated within her own.


Me: It's cold. Where are youu

Ed: b ther in 2 mins. stop txtng meee


It was only then that she finally realized he was texting while driving, making her regret ever messaging him in the first place. I'm sure he was at a stop light, she tried to assure herself, knowing full well that it probably wasn't the case... Especially considering his driving habits.
 
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