Reality Wishes [Redsun Criminal and Clyde M]

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Second. Reason.

The words blasted past her like a gust of cold air on a warm day, blowing her defences away instead of her outer layer of body heat.

She might have had a few words to say, but they were long gone now. Sucked into the fearful anticipation, or the emotional vortex that was its product.

Lowering herself slowly, one leg shaking, she sat next to him cross-legged and stared at the tombstone without uttering so much as a word.
 
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[BCOLOR=transparent]He noticed she had stiffened up, which made him nervous. Oh and he had totally forgotten about the shirt piece. He'd never consider someone would do something like that. His sister often would just slap his hand away from his face. He had even forgotten that he had tissues in his back pocket for the very reason and because his nose was often rubbed dry to the point it bled.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He hated these things, but he tried to ignore it. She was staring at him with such a stiff expression, which actually made him completely nervous. He had lost his words for about a good three minutes so they both sat there in awkward silence. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]This was his chance to channel some confidence. He took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly, which made him actually cough instead. But he tried to laugh it off, with a smile.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I was thinking to myself one night," actually it was when he was in the hospital, "that I have never given anyone, but grief." did that sound too personal? Would it make her uncomfortable? "But then Domino. Even if it was offline he gave me something. A family. So, I sit here….in a miserable existence. And thought…" he sounded like he was fucking crazy, "that the biggest gift we could give Domino….is a change of self." Oh this was coming out awkward, "I want to bury the parts of myself I don't want any more, right here next to him, and then…" he picked at his scab instead of wiping the blood off, "...then I want to become someone else. I'm always hiding online a person I want to become. So, why don't I become it?"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He took another three minutes. It was heavy silence. Because he felt his stomach squirming. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Because I lacked the motivation to do so," he added the answer, "I….always knew I lacked the motivation. So, I wanted to know….if you'd like….to….motivate each other to do so."[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]There was another four minutes of silence before he said, "let's motivate each other to…..not...lie to ourselves any more."[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Oh wow that was awkward on his tongue. Anxiety rising like the tide of the ocean. Even though he had just what, sat down, about 10 minutes ago he shot right back up. Which Gre-Riley looked startled. Here he had given a big speech and everything. Expected an answer. And he was being an embarrassment.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I…" he turned bright red, giving his pallid complexion some color once, "I'm sorry…..I.." he tried to hold it in. The most embarrassing thing right now was that he had to turn around, dry heave behind someone else tomb and in front of Domino's tombstone. Domino's picture watching him as he was trying to fight not puking.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"You….." he said through bouts of coughing and gagging, "can…..answer….just…" another cough, just this dizzy whirring nauseous feeling, "ignore me."[/BCOLOR]
 
A change of self? She didn't quite understand at first what he was alluding to, but she listened so very carefully, expecting some Earth-shattering revelation. At the corner of her peripheral vision, Lord lied down next to her, but she remained transfixed by Alton.

To motivate one another to become better people, that's what she gathered from his nervous speech. She wondered if this meant he was quitting Sacred Sword once and for all, and she wondered if his troubled proposition was an offer of friendship.

'let's motivate each other to…..not...lie to ourselves any more'

It sounded as though he wanted to use this meeting as a chance for both of them to learn to push each other's boundaries, become more open and confident like they were online. Riley, for one, was rather comfortable behind the wall she set up around herself, and never really felt the need to stray beyond that comfort zone.

However... this is something Domino would have wanted. She could almost feel Domino's hand on her shoulder, trying to tell her to let go of the fear, to move forward, and to learn how to be like Lorryth. Headstrong, unwavering... proud.

On any other day, with anyone else, she would have turned down the offer to motivate one another... but maybe now she was finally tired of stagnating her whole life. Maybe, just this once, she had to force herself to be uncomfortable. For Domino.

Yet another minute of silence passed since Alton had stood up suddenly, after which she drew a breath and, despite how low and nearly impossible to hear her voice was right at the moment, she managed to speak.

"I... don't know... what exactly you're implying... but whatever it is", she turned around, looking up at him with her wide bewildered-looking eyes, and added, "...I'm game". Wait no, that sounded silly, no one says 'I'm game' anymore. That must have looked so ridiculous. Saving herself from this pittance of humiliation (which, in her mind, had been greatly inflated) Riley turned away from him. It was when she was pulling her hood forward to further cover her face that she inadvertently made eye contact with the photo of Trevor.

No, I'm not hiding this time, she commanded herself.

Rising to her feet, she turned around and faced Alton once again, making a concerted effort not to let the awkward feeling in her gut get the better of her. Lord got up with her, tail wagging.

"What did... you... have in mind?", she asked, fiddling with her fingerless gloves, and trying hard to sound as calm and casual about it as possible. Honestly, though, she wasn't sure what to expect.
 
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[BCOLOR=transparent]When looking back at this, this was not going to be one of his favorite moments in life. He had a different expectation of how this was suppose to go. But his own anxiety had ruined it. While recovering he listened to Gre-Riley speaking. At least she didn't make a deal about it. He could almost hear his sister nagging voice in the back of his head.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"You did it to yourself Alton, you did it yourself, so stop looking for sympathy and pity"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Or his sister's husband. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Stop feeling sorry for yourself Alton, honestly, you're suppose to be an adult, behave like it"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Of course his answer was always that he didn't feel sorry for himself. Not in the same way people assumed he felt sorry for himself. He felt sorry in a completely different way. He wished he was a vase, that he could easily picked up the pieces and super glue the pieces back. There was so many pieces of him scattered all over the place.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He never had the confidence to stand up for himself. He never had the confidence to speak what's on his mind. And he never had the confidence to say what was on his mind because often he would get shot down and dismissed.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]It was refreshing to have someone not shouting at him. He smiled at Gre-Riley with a little bit more warmness. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I want to do something fun," he told her.[/BCOLOR]
 
He had been... vomiting. She only realized now, and just sort of ignored it. Drawing attention to it might end up making him feel worse after all...

It wasn't every day someone plainly said they wanted to do something fun, but Riley wasn't the kind of person who really concerned herself much with social norms. Not unless she was the one breaking them, and in public.

He smiled warmly. For some reason, she could actually tell his smile took effort, it always did for anyone who's body is weighed down by burdens. Her attempt at keeping the sudden warmness bottled up failed miserably, she couldn't help smiling in return, and looked down in embarrassment.

Nodding slowly before meeting his gaze once again, she replied somewhat shyly.

"...I like the sound of tha-", a drop of water hit her nose. Tilting her head to face the clouds that seemed to have darkened within seconds, another drop landed below her eyelid, causing her to blink. It was like a movie director's clichéd attempt at dramatic irony. It just had to start raining here in the cemetery, where emotions were heaviest. Then again, it didn't have to symbolize sadness, maybe these raindrops were harbingers of a new beginning. The first step towards washing away their old selves and beginning anew.

"Oh, no... We should... probably find some shelter", she suggested, her words were cautious as always, but there was a hint of joy in her tone. Pacing a few steps away from the grave, she stopped suddenly and looked back.

"Uh... hang on", she told Alton, taking out what looked like a hand-made necklace from her hoodie pocket. It was modelled after a lucky charm of Domino's, the Forlorn Talisman. It was a piece of useless randomly generated loot that Dom insisted on taking a few years ago, in that very first dungeon they cleared as a team. She remembered how he took it despite her and Esper trying to convince him that it was worthless, and despite the fact that he was almost over the carry weight at the time. He had become unusually lucky ever since, and to Domino, the Talisman was a symbol of more than just the guild, it was a representation of the time they spent together. Trevor wore it on his character all of the way to the end, wasting a valuable necklace slot for a piece of memorabilia. That was the kind of person he was. He treasured emotion and friendship over his own self-advancement.

Placing the necklace at the base of the tombstone, she made sure Lord didn't try to bite it, gave Trevor's photo one last solemn look, and made her way back over to Alton.

She decided to move a little faster, as it was genuinely starting to pour now.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]The talisman. She made it? Not everything online was fake. Mementos and memories they shared. They wouldn't be here if they hadn't somehow felt those memories were fake. As rain began to come down. He nodded.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Shopping district shouldn't be too far," he suggested.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Truth be told he really liked the rain. Then again, if he remembered correctly it was raining that day too. Staring up at the sky, thick gray clouds, as vision faded. He too looked up once, but the rain was starting to start pouring.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He tried to keep up with Riley's pace, except that these days he couldn't run very fast nor walk very fast. Except that they didn't quite beat the weather. It was coming down so hard, they had to run into the nearest building, which happened to be a very busy restaurant.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]The both of them drenched. Yet, they were greeted by the person at the cash register and pointed to a corner, saying they have one seat left. Alton hadn't planned the first thing for them to do was sit in a restaurant. But the weather outside was too tragic to try and struggle anywhere else. They'd have to wait for the rain to settle first.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He looked at Riley.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Should we?" he asked.[/BCOLOR]

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They fast-walked at first, which she supposed was a result of Alton's poor health, and then ran in the direction of the shopping district. Riley couldn't tell who was leading who, as they both seemed to make their way onward in the same general direction and at the same speed.

Racing through the rain, she couldn't help giggling under her breath. They made an unspoken agreement to enter the nearest building, which was a restaurant, the name of which she wasn't paying enough attention to notice.

It was crowded. She squeezed her hair partly to get the water out, and partly out of nervousness. Extending her sleeves to cover her cold wet hands, she almost missed Alton's question amid the sounds of the restaurant.

"You- you're asking me?", she questioned, fearful of having to be responsible for such a decision. Secretly though, she hoped they would stay, so long as the available seat wasn't too open to the prying eyes of the restaurant-goers.
 
Though the name of the cafe became clear to the both of them, as a single menu sat nicely on the table. It was condensed of two pages of items they could order. The title above read the ironic name: Sunshine Park Cafe.

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[BCOLOR=transparent]Channeling his inner Domino, he headed towards the table. Actually truth was at this point he felt obligated to sit down because the lady at the register was staring at him. Between them was a menu laid out in the middle of the table. As if to invite the participants into their fancy design. He hadn't been out to eat in what felt like forever. He laughed at the cafe name, but only to himself. He stared at Riley for a second.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"To make this more interesting," he told her, "Let's play a game of 21 questions. A question for an answer for a question for an answer."[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]The waitress behind the bar counter came out.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"What can I start for you two to drink?" Alton could feel the waitress' eyes were heavily on them, scanning him. He felt a little uncomfortable. Only slowly becoming more comfortable with Riley. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"It's our first time here," he mumbled nervously.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]The waitress smiled.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"If that's the case, I'll give you a few more seconds, if you have any questions please do ask," she sauntered off and Alton looked at Riley.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Do you want to split the bill? I'll pay for what I order, you pay for what you order, oh….." Alton realized he didn't know how much money Riley had, "Unless you don't have any money. Then I will pay."[/BCOLOR]
 
After seeing the lady at the register, Alton suddenly decided to stay. Riley followed him over to the table without speaking, making sure not to rub against any of the other customers on the way there.

The menu on the table's centre looked sublime, but she resisted the urge to divulge it's contents.

She nodded and half-smiled when he proposed that they asked questions to one another. It was a good place to start. Her smile disappeared, however, when the good-looking waitress arrived at their table. It caused her to tense up, and she avoided looking in her direction in order to keep her face obscured by her hood. She didn't respond to the waitress either, and waited for Alton to make his choice first. Thankfully, with his comment, she left them alone for a while longer.

Riley shifted in her seat and adjusted her posture.


"I don't have money, but I'm not hungry...", she explained, avoiding eye contact for a second before adding, "Thanks for offering". Even from where they were sitting, the whistling wind and relentless rain could be heard just outside.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]"It is a cafe, you can get a drink," Alton said, beside wouldn't it be rude if they sat here and not ordered anything. His heart was going about a million paces right now. Just loud jumping behind his ribcage. Alton stared at her.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I was at least going to get a hot chocolate," Alton told her. Because it was cold outside and he was wet. His sister would have probably barked something at him if it were the both of them out. He realized he was distracted with a thought.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He snapped his attention back to Riley.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Do you live alone or with family?" Alton asked Riley. He'd start the questions, and see where they would lead.[/BCOLOR]
 
"I'll... probably just get a water", she replied a few seconds after he mentioned what he was going to get. It was her default answer, she always got a glass of water whenever she went out places with her family, always trying to avoid troubling them. Plus, tap water was free, and in Sonoko, very safe.
A question came from Alton's direction, the first question, she assumed, of the little game they agreed on.

"Family", she responded flatly, reaching into her hood to rub the back of her neck. It wasn't something she was particularly proud of, and she was worried he would think less of her for it.

She looked into his eyes, or his eye, because one of hers was covered as always.

"...and you?", she thought it was only polite that she return the same question, and now that she thought about it, it could be useful to know.
 
Lord had been tied outside.

Fortunately for him, the restaurant's veranda had a cover from the rain.

He waited patiently for his owner, standing majestically against the wind.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]Before he had time to answer the waitress came back.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Are you ready?" she asked.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Hot tea for the whole table," he responded and stared at Riley with a cheeky smile. He wasn't going to let her get away with just water. He offered. Accept his offer. This is the first time in a long time that he was able to do something for someone. Let alone be out with someone. She was going to accept his tea. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"I'll go get that for you,"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]When the waitress left, Alton nodded and responded in kind, "I too live with family right now." He wish he didn't have to. It was suffocating and imprisoning in his sister's' house. She was often times more than not a opinionated bitch.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Any siblings?" he asked.[/BCOLOR]
 
Sighing in defeat when he ordered the tea, Riley accepted her fate. She vaguely rolled her eyes when she caught sight of his cheeky smile. Admittedly, a tea sounded pretty nice right about now and she did enjoy drinking it once in a while. In fact, she wondered what kind of tea it was, and slid the menu over to herself by her fingertips. Slowly though, just in case Alton still needed it.

It was good to hear he was also living with family, maybe he won't think she was lame after all.

"A brother", she stated with a little more enthusiasm this time. "Older... brother", she thought she should add.

"You?"
 
"Two," he said, "An older brother and an older sister."

Both were very reluctant to take him in. Even though he was the baby of the two. His older brother had come up with some kind of excuse of why he couldn't stay. And his sister was forcing him through programs and other things just to get him out of her house. She made his living experience even more miserable, than when he was miserable staring at the sky, not being able to breath.

"Both are assholes," he added, it just felt good to say it. He kind of frowned, and there was a defensive crossing of his arms. His sister was also a two face bitch. Everyone else in the world, would hear her call him Teddie and think "isn't that cute his sister gave him a cute nickname they must be close", "and they call me Teddie" he added further with another frown and bit his lip.

They were given an assortment of tea bags to choose from, in little wrapped bags, and a hot water pot was set between them with two mugs. He waited for the waitress to leave before he moved onto the next question.

"Do you go to college?" he asked her.
 
They were both the youngest in their respective families. I think that's a good thing, she gathered, we both know what it's like to be considered last. He seemed somewhat bothered bringing up his siblings, which wasn't exactly an uncommon thing, but Alton seemed genuinely upset just talking about them. Plus, she's never heard anyone call their sibling an asshole.

It was strange for her, because Riley and her brother were polar opposites, yet she never really had a problem with her brother. Perhaps the only gripe would be that he wasn't always there for her... and more recently, he hasn't been around much at all.

The teas arrived, an 'assorted selection', just like the menu specified. Having trouble hiding her sudden fascination for the tea served here, she sifted through the different bags, reading each package. Orange, chai, green, white, lemon, raspberry... raspberry.

She ripped open the package and placed the bag in her mug, when suddenly, an impasse.

There was only one hot water kettle... and she didn't want to be rude and grab it so suddenly. So instead, she waited somewhat impatiently for Alton to choose his own tea and fill his own mug, trying not to show her anticipation outwardly. Although her leg bounced up and down beneath the table...

Alton spoke up again.

"I'm... on a bit of a break from school right now", she responded hesitantly, looking down at her empty mug. She preferred to avoid that sticky subject.

"What about you", Riley retorted in a lighter tone, trying to keep the attention on him. "Work, school?", she decided to add 'work', seeing as it was only fitting considering he was 26.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]She was eager about the tea and he watched her strum through the selection. At first she was about to grabbed the kettle, but hesitated to do so. It's just water. The reason why it was so "expensive" is because they will bring you more hot water. Like a lot of places. He was strumming through the collection, but stumbled upon her question.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Him? Work or school? He graduated high school years ago. Both work and college were a challenging subject. He grabbed earl grey without a word at first. [/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"In the past," he mumbled.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He gestured her to pour the water first. Only because she seemed so interested in it.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"You? You have a job?" he asked her.[/BCOLOR]
 
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His vague response to her question was actually comforting, because unfortunately, she didn't have much going for herself either. He picked up the package of earl grey, the flavour of which, she always found to be a little too bold.

Riley waited a second after he gestured for her to take the hot water, then grabbed the handle suddenly, almost burning her pinky. Pouring the liquid, she decided to be a little more safe about it, and held the pot of hot water super carefully with both hands, as if it was nitroglycerin.

"I used to do odd jobs for an ice cream shop", she stated simply, her tone didn't sound exactly sound proud, but neither did it really sound ashamed. Unsure of whether it was even worth mentioning, she added, "...if that counts". It was all fun and games with that ice cream shop until the place got a new cashier, a pretty cashier. There was more to it than that, but her mind was elsewhere.

The tea was amazing, perhaps slightly more bitter than what she would have expected from raspberry, but amazing nonetheless. She promised herself that she would dig through her piggy bank to pay him back whenever she got back home.

A silence fell between them. Was he expecting something? A question, right. It was her turn to ask a question. Okay, think, think. Uhhhh...

"What's your favourite colour?", it was too late, the thought had already escaped her lips, she couldn't take back her childlike question. At first, embarrassment clouded her vision, but then, a gleam of light. What if he thought that she thought that favourite colour revealed a lot about a person's personality or something like that? Yes... what if she was trying to be deep and mysterious. Maybe he wouldn't think the question was absurd and inconsequential...
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]An ice cream shop? That sounds fun actually. He looked at her with a little twinkle in his eye. Sounded bit better than retail associate at a cellphone store. Or an electronic retail associate at the computer store.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Did you learn how to make ice cream? Was it fun?" and he turned red from embarrassment, "Sorry. That sounds fun."[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]He messed with his scab out of nervous one more time. He registered her question. His favorite color? What does that have to do with anything? He looked at her confused a little bit.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Guess charcoal gray," he responded, "Tell me more about the ice cream job."[/BCOLOR]
 
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