RANT Your Brains Out #98274

[junebug]

Some days, I wish I was better at understanding people. Some days, I wish my opinions were actually worthy of consideration instead of being tossed to the side. Some days, I don't even know why I bother to talk to other people. If my opinions are not worth understanding and listening to at the very least, am I even worth it? Online... Sometimes I just don't feel appreciated, like there's something wrong with me, and it's my problem. It makes me anxious trying to explain things, it makes me anxious trying to resolve conflict and understand why someone else is being negative towards me. I want to avoid it all, get rid of it, but I know I cannot just "get rid" of these things and it hurts. It really hurts.

 

[Life&DeathX3]

I am so done with being kind and caring what people think I wish I would just "grow a pair, I am stuck in job after job I just seem to jump from one to the next because everyone are such two face pricks (please excuse the swears). I'm such a fucking coward.

I'm ashamed to say I've been learning to drive for a couple of years since everything always gets in the way. I hate this stupid life. People tell me it can only get better but I'm not sure that's true. I'm 24 with no fucking idea what I want to do career wise. I wasted my years training to do something I have no urge to do again.

For now this is me signing off
I'M DONE

 

[Shiri]

I had one of those terrible dreams that you cannot wake from. It's not quite sleep paralysis because my eyes are closed and more in a dream state but it is still a horrible, horrible feeling. It lasted for a minute maybe? It's so hard to tell when your brain is in that state. It chills me to the core.

 

[junebug]

Tfw internet randomly decides to stop working one day, you've tried everything the package says to try, and you absolutely need that internet to upload notes for someone in your class who cannot take notes by themselves. I'm so sorry! Dx

The agreement says to upload notes in an environment where internet is stable and well... my internet just decided to randomly trash me today after it's been stable for a while.

 

[Shiri]

I'm in the polar vortex. It's shit.

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

I just wanted to enjoy my only day off with my house all to myself. But nooooo! Not only did I not get to sleep in, I had to spend almost all of my morning cleaning up the messes my kids made. Seriously, I'm so ready for them all to turn 18 so they can get jobs and move out on their own. X_x

 

[Shiri]

I bought a marker pad thinking that it would be for markers. All the pages bleed like no tomorrow...what makes this a marker pad?! It's worse off than copy paper!

 

[Rebornfan120]

I feel the world is against me and I have bad roleplaying luck wherever I go and no matter what I do anymore. I have days, some days I wish my opinions and my side of things were actually worthy of consideration instead of being tossed to the side like it didn't even matter. Some days, I don't even know why I bother to talk to other people and I don't feel motivated to speak to people unless it was with someone I know. If my opinions are not worth understanding and listening to at the very least I wonder am I even worth it? Online is a whole new ballpark. Sometimes I just don't feel appreciated at all like away from the online world, like there's something wrong with me and it's my problem. It makes me anxious trying to explain things and sometimes unstable, it makes me anxious trying to resolve conflict in various formats and understand why someone else is being negative towards me or neutral. I want to avoid the feelings and this entirely, get rid of it, but I know I cannot just "get rid" of these things and it really hurts when trust and whatever someone says online here (as an example) or even away from here.

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

I'm feeling stagnant and it's driving me insane.

 

[Cosmic Fey]

If someone asks you (politely, more politely than you deserve at this point frankly,) to stop calling them a deadbeat because it's hurtful, then stop fucking calling them that. He and I have both told you to stop, that it's rude. Furthermore, when the guy comes to talk to me about his options, that's no goddamn reason to come rushing at him and start choking him out before you throw him around.

You claim to follow the creed of 'right is right and wrong is wrong and if you do wrong you get what's coming to you.' Well my dude, beating someone up just because they were doing something you didn't like is wrong and I sincerely hope you get what's coming to you.

(And by the way, I'm twenty-fucking-six, which you know. A fully grown adult. You are not my father, nor anyone really important in my life, and if I want to talk to someone than I will. You do not get to monopolize my time. Grow the fuck up. And I've told you before to stop saying those things to me - I don't care if you're drunk and you think they're funny. You are older than both my parents and it's not funny or flirty, it's just uncomfortable)

 

[Foxy]

I am tired. Extremely tired. I have tried, time and again, to stay optimistic about it. I continued writing and planning despite being miserable and trying to just keep the ball rolling to hopefully greener pastures. But that only gets someone so far when someone else hates every idea and every suggestion or twists things around so much that the original thought becomes unrecognizable in the worst possible way.

I am thankful for my friend who is offering me an out of this. However, I can admit to wishing I didn't need one. I wish being optimistic could answer all my problems and things would be fine. But with how upset I get, the nights I spend questioning my skill as a writer, becoming so stressed I get dizzy? The rants asking what I did wrong or what I could have done better to the sympathetic shoulders of my mom and my friends? It's not a worth it. My emotional stability is not worth the acceptance of someone who truly does not care. I just wish I realized that sooner instead of investing months into this.

 

[Cosmic Fey]

In the last week and a half I have had to deal with being in the middle of a volatile home situation, had to speak to the cops, have been dealing with a fully grown man acting like he's the victim and done nothing wrong ever when in fact he was the one who got physical and assaulted someone for no real reason, and have just generally been jumpy and twitchy and walking on eggshells in my own home, lest this man (who's been nice, if a tad inappropriate when drunk, towards me so far) turn his temper on me.

I'm sorry, have I gone back in time a decade? Because it certainly feels like 2009 again; the only difference is people are taking me seriously this time since I'm no longer a teenager and the people involved aren't my parents

At least the man is getting evicted.

 

[Grime]

I'm sick and tired of making excuses for myself and my current situation and not actually making enough effort to change.

So blind as to where I'm going that I'm looking for clues and guidelines as to how to get out of this self-destructive way of life that I am even clinging to music lyrics that impact me in one way or another, or posts like the ones in this thread to see if anyone can relate or help yet too scared to 'publicly' describe my situation in-depth here.

Fed up with feeling like knowing my self and my flaws is enough as it is, not putting in the work to better myself.

Hmmm, maybe starting drinking this early was not the best plan today haha... Anyway, thanks for having this thread and letting me rant like this.

 

[Meringue]

PSA: don't take your anger out on innocent bystanders.

Good god. I hate hate HATE when partners are passive aggressive. I can't stand it. It bugs me. I can be disturbed for hours just from one little veiled comment or complaint that took seconds to write. If there's a problem just TELL ME. And please stoping crying for attention and sympathy. Constantly making profile posts about how "you don't even know why you try" or "no replies again??" No replies? None at all? What about mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's there!!! Has been for days yet you keep on keeping on trying to siphon out that sweet sweet sympathy I guess. It's so frustrating to me, I can't even deal with these kinds of self-pitying never satisfied partners anymore. I'm sorry I have a life outside rping. I'm sorry that I can't provide you with your unyielding dom that you wanted and can only give you a sweet switchy boi. We all have to make sacrifices. We all have to step out of our comfort zone sometimes. Don't be passive aggressive to me, it's not my fault interests in the rping community are skewed. YOU ARE BUMMING ME OUT. YOU MAKE ME WANNA POOF ON YOU BECAUSE YOURE SUCKING MY LIFE AWAY!

ahem sorry just had to get that out. And don't worry it's not about anyone on here or any current partner. But just in general I hate passive aggression.

 

[Cosmic Fey]

All this drama with my roommates and neighbours and landlord is gonna make me go grey.

 

[Cosmic Fey]

"What you saw and what you said should have been two different things"

So...you wanted me to lie? About an assault I was the only witness too. To the landlord (who as it turns out has multiple complaints against you but only now has enough evidence to take you to court)?

Mm, yeah, no. Can't do that dude.

I've only known you for about 5 months and you are just a roommate (one who had been kind to me, but still just a roommate) Believe it or not, that's not enough grounds to get me to lie for you. I won't even lie for my mother unless the lie saves lives, I'm not about to do so for you.

 

[Maggie]

I'm really tired of being forced to go to work! Its bad weather you stupid bint. Are you even coming to Clubhouse during this icy-road bad weather crap? I doubt it! And for the record.. my OWN BOSS WOULDNT WANT ME TO GO TO WORK IF THEY END UP CLOSING EARLY ANYWAY SO FCK YOU!!!! I hate this job and I have to get to the other side of town but what do you care so long as I'm at work every day, dealing with those shit ass godfuckingawful customers!!!! fFFFUUUUUUUCK THIISS WEATHERR AND FUUUUUUUUUCK YOU! :/

 

[Shiri]

Just found out the creator of a art group I was in years ago is a disgusting individual. I never had dealings with this person directly thankfully. I think I understand why they made the group now and I feel dirty and used. I know I can pull my designs and characters out, but they'll just remind me that this happened.

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

The past few days have been really, really bad for my depression. I know it's a hormonal thing and that the constant changes in my sleep schedule is fucking me up, but it doesn't help. I am between wanting to scream at everyone that tries to talk to me, or crying my eyes out. Oddly, work is the only place I feel normal....

 

[Cosmic Fey]

I AM SO MAD.

I kept my coat on because I went to go take out my recycling (the bin is outside the back door) and I forgot to take it off before going to wash some dishes and my roommate, G (the one who's been causing problems) noticed and;

G: Oh you've got your coat on. You're cold
Me: Huh? Oh, no I'm not I just forg-
G: It's okay you're cold I know. You're cold. -walks away before I can say anything else-

...
STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH YOU FUCK. YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR ME.

I don't know why it upsets me just so much, maybe it's an autonomy thing, but it does. I'm so angry. I mean it's ridiculous that this is what sets off my anger and not any of the other shit he's done in the last two weeks, but god fuck don't talk over me. All my life people have done that to me, taught me my voice means less than others, I don't need that from you, Mister 'I'm-going-to-mock-children-for-being-children'