RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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The furnace doesn't work today and its freezing cold, even with this heater on, it's really agitating my cough and throat a lot. Just as I was starting to make progress with that too. I hope it warms up some more today T_T.
 
getting really sick of my self-sabotaging bullshit.
 
At work, been feeling out of it all morning; at least I can smile and no one will notice.
 
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People from work can Fuck Off. I told her that it wouldn't be able to work until go live, I mentioned the person didn't get back to me. and WHAT THE FUCK am I supposed to poke them for?! Whatever. No one's going to listen anyways. No one ever will. This is the kind of stuff that just brings up the bad thoughts. Whatever. No one cares, no one ever will. I'll die miserable and alone so I should just get over it.
 
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I complain too much but I'm pretty sure the universe is out to get me.
 
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What do you do when your husband of only one year would rather spend time watching porn and pretending he's hiding it from you instead of being intimate with you, you lost your job and moved to be with him to the most distant island on earth, you feel like a deadweight because you're obviously not pretty enough to even keep his attention, all you are is a financial burden, you have social anxiety so severe you can't leave the house and all you can think about is everything wrong about yourself? :(

You have no friends on island because you're new and nobody to talk to. Your own home feels like its better off with you not there. But there's nowhere else to go.
 
I slept too much for a nap. My head feels heavy, I just want to sleep more. Still want better hours and pay at my job too rip.
 
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I hate posting here but I'm so pissed it's scary.


You stole their Easter baskets. When you give something to someone, it belongs to them. They are one and six years old and you took them from them. And why? To get back at their mother for divorcing your brother who tried to fucking kill them. Yeah, so she's a great reason to put a protective order on him and divorce him. But you are mad because you are an awful, bitter person so you stole their Easter. They are just babies! Why are you punishing them for something they didn't do? My sister didn't do anything wrong either! She's tried to help your brother many times. Given him chances, more than I'd give him in all honesty.

What you did was unforgivable and I dearly hope you get what's coming to you because you are treating an abused family like shite.

But you know what? Those children will get an Easter, and you can't steal that from them you self absorbed trash weasel.
 
Woke up to a power outage. 5:17 the power cut off. It didn't come back on until after nine. My kids couldn't take a shower, had to get dressed in the dark, and kept driving me nuts about when the power was going to come back on. For three hours I had to sit in the dark with no damn coffee, no internet, and only my cell phone which I couldn't use for anything to preserve my battery......
 
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Well, I won't be able to enter in this scholarship. I sent out an online form to my recommender and I'm guessing she got confused and thought that she had to create an actual letter of recommendation. The scholarship program wanted them to fill out the online form (which I'd sent to her), but never received back. I was terrible in my time management, as she'd sent out an actual letter of recommendation at 6:55 PM today and I only just now got around to checking my school email at the last minute to see what was going on with the online form. I doubt they'd let me enter to win the scholarship now. It's about an hour or so away from the deadline... I'm basically screwed. My recommender is probably sleeping and not gonna be looking at her business email at 10:37 PM.
 
Some people say expecting the worst results makes it easier to handle when they come in.

I do NOT find that to be true.
 
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Whelp today has been embarrassing...... I went home from work sick and as I got within a few miles of my place I threw up twice....wearing it home in the car. Thankfully my parents are coming up today (though I'd asked them if they could come up tomorrow) to spend time with me and help me clean inside the car.
 
I always get confused when a rando throws the label of SJW at me. I guess I match the classical definition of it, but the Internet has sort of ripped the term apart since the early 2000s. Times were simpler, eh? How do I even begin to process myself within these new arguments? Owning the newest editions of the term sort of shoots myself in the foot since I am avid about creative culture and the horror genre. Needless to say, PC and I do not get along. But if I talk about my egalitarian views even a little bit I get called this new extremist rendition of SJW. It's frustrating.

I don't really care either way, I guess. It's just peevish.
 
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I've decided I won't be pursuing a bachelor's degree any longer at this time, nor will I consider a master's degree. The cost of debt is too great and not worth it when many employers out there value experience over education. I am grateful to those who wrote me letters of recommendations, grateful to those who have helped me every step of the way to get where I felt I wanted to go next, but I've decided after years of researching, it simply isn't worth it.

I would much rather finish my AA degree and get started on trying to go into the hospitality field straight away, have open availability like they want, and pursue a hospitality career without any distractions. Sometimes hands-on experience is better than education itself. I'm doing myself a great favor, alleviating myself of the worries of what kind of financial problems could be, should I have genuinely decided to push forward with a bachelor's degree.

It takes a lot of commitment and energy to pursue a four year degree.

I'd rather use that commitment and energy to gain experience in what I want to do career-wise.
 
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Depression is back in full force. I went an entire year just fine and then... out of nowhere. I'm not the sort to let that kind of thing bleed into my social life, but it's tiresome. And miserable. I have a life and I can't even properly live it without feeling like shit. At least Iwaku's a good place. I don't have to worry much here.
 
It's sad. I felt more alive and full of energy when I hadn't slept for 18 hours. Now that I got some sleep in me I feel dead, lethargic and irritable even.

The heck is wrong with me?
 
It's sad. I felt more alive and full of energy when I hadn't slept for 18 hours. Now that I got some sleep in me I feel dead, lethargic and irritable even.

The heck is wrong with me?
same tho
 
Ugh! It looks like the house we wanted to get is about to fall through. Fuck.....
 
I want Thursday night already v.v
 
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