Well I'm not sure what happened but I am now hungry like all the time and I'm definitely getting way more calories than I need so if this continues I'm sure I'll be a huge fatass in no time.
but can I just
cookies
brownies
fuck whyyyyyyyy
Also justice league (spoilers)
[spoili]
overall: hard 'meh'. "Fun" movie but otherwise mixed reviews are fairly accurate. I have other stuff to vent about.
Mainly. Aquaman. Anf Flash.
We'll start with Aquaman.
HOLY FUCK HIS DIALOGUE WAS SO BAD
SOOOOOO BAD.
Maybe it's in character, idk, never kept up with aquaman really, but it seemed like his scenes were 80% "lol you dress like a bat" 5% "lasso of truth scene" and 5% actually plot relevant in some way.
Yes the dude is jacked and looks cool, I'm all about that polynesian representation and yeah I do really like the new aquaman character design but overall his character was shit and throwaway and what did he even DO???
He was kind of just there.... Was he supposed to be eye candy for the women? I don't get it. But onward.
Flash. Motherfucking flash.
His run looks ridiculous and goofy. Why the fuck does he run like that?
I get that he's kind of "newly flash" (though they don't really make that very clear in the movie imo) but he's constantly tripping over himself. Like, seriously, what kind of speedster is always rolling his ankle. The first time, I get it, but he did it more than once. Did he even really help the team more than he hindered it? Because it seemed like for every good thing he did, there were at least a few seconds spent saving the guy. C'mon.
And I love ezra miller and flash's character overall, he was a nice audience surrogate for me but come on.
Ugh and cyborg. The CGI in this movie overall was not great but Cyborg looked like a face plastered on a CGI model when in fact it was the other way around. It was so bad, and distracting, was that REALLY better than putting the dude in a suit? You could just make it out of EVA foam and give it CG enhancements, it would've looked fine. It's not like he was doing a billion stunts or anything.
Plus he wears a hoddi for 80% of the movie, I really don't think face prosthetics would've been so difficult. He was already wearing the glowy red eye thing.
And Steppenwolf was just... ok everyone complains about him but it was bad. Just. Really bad. He could've easily been a real person as well, I believe. But no, he just looks like he walked straight out of a game cutscene. Well at this point, maybe the whole movie should've been SquareEnix's next production. There's a problem when the Parademons are more fucking believable looking than Steppenwolf is.
Also everyone mentions Superman's lip. Personally the only time anything looked weird for him was the very first scene from the cellphone video. Everything else looked fine to me. But then again maybe I was just too distracted by cyborg's fake-looking ass.
There were a FEW scenes in this movie that I liked, but overall it's not a movie I'd recommend to anybody and it's also one I'm probably not going to buy on DVD (SHOCKER, honestly) unless they do some totally different cut of it.
There's 2 post credit scenes, the last one was the best scene in the entire film imo. DEATHSTROKE!!!
HE LOOKS SO BADASS!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Maybe THAT movie will be worth seeing?!
Anyway, this production had so much shit thrown at it. But overall it feels like they were just trying to copy Marvel too much. Because in the end, that's really what this felt like overall. A marvel film. Which for me, are generally "meh" movies, with noticable CGI in weird parts of it, and just not something I really enjoy watching overall.
Whereas, I can take the crapfest that is BvS, and forgive that shitshow because a lot of the scenes were AMAZING. Warehouse batman was legit.
Justice League? I got... I guess there's only 1 scene that's KIND OF cool in my eyes, and that's when Superman sees the Flash and Flash is like "Oh fucking shit." That was pretty cool, but nowhere near as cool as warehouse batman.
The other scenes I liked weren't even in character.
Superman mocks Batman, throws him around, says "Do you bleed?"
Then a few seconds later when everything calms down, Batman's getting up from the grass and groaning and he says "Well, something's definitely bleeding."
Then the scene when Superman shows up to save the day, and that close up of Batman's face. Can't wait for that reaction gif to make the rounds.
Yeah they were funny and I laughed but let's be real here that's NOT Batman.
[/spoili]
What a shitty time to be a DC fan.
edit:
OH AND ALSO
(more justice league, but no movie spoilers)
[spoili]Something that I haven't seen ANYONE harp on but I WILL because it is RIDICULOUS
Is how SHIT the justice league movie advertising campaign has been. Not the claim that there wasn't much of it (which I don't agree with) but the fact that it just sucked.
The trailers I did not think flowed well. The song choices were shit, and totally overbearing, like the sound guy had never done a trailer before so didn't care about proper mixing or volumes (or didn't realize). It was like their first time in Premiere where they just rubber banded the hell out of it.
And the POSTERS
HOLY SHIT
I get you want to try and shove everybody's hero logos in but that shit looks like baby's first photoshop when they just discovered unicode symbols and wanted to make their titles look cool
That "You can't save the world alone" text looks ugly and trashy as hell.
This thing was doomed to shit from the beginning[/spoili]
