I am fucking
disgusted.
When your friend gets out of the mental hospital, and they describe the experience as being "traumatizing", and that they're so relieved to have gotten out, and basically have next-to-nothing positive to say about their stay? You know there is something seriously fucking wrong with that entire system.
I mean, I already knew that there are some serious problems with the mental health care system. This is something that has been researched, that
I have researched. Like, I've read articles from scientific journals on the subject. Mental health patients are basically treated like prisoners. Like animals in a zoo. And, yeah, that's fucked up, and I was already kind of angry about that -- but it's one thing to be upset about a societal injustice
from a distance, when it doesn't personally affect you... and a
whole other thing altogether when you see the shit that these so-called "doctors" are putting your friend through.
She wasn't told the rules of the establishment, and was punished for things she didn't know she wasn't allowed to do. She basically wasn't allowed to express any of her concerns or even ask
questions about anything that was going on, because all of that was just seen as "defiant behavior", and therefore punished. She wasn't told
the purpose or possible side-effects of the medication they prescribed her, and had a hard time obtaining that information even when she specifically asked for it. I'm pretty sure that TV ads are
legally required to list each and every possible side effect that a drug could have, and I know that I receive an information booklet about the intended effects and possible side-effects of adderall with every refill I receive -- even though I never specifically asked for it -- and yet, they fucking prescribed her medication,
didn't tell her what the drug actually does, effectively forced her to take the drug (more on that later...), also didn't warn her of any possible side-effects,
and then -- and here's the best part -- when she tried to tell a staff member that the drugs were making her dizzy and making her anxiety worse, they basically fucking side-stepped that whole thing and changed the subject of the conversation.
What the fuck. You should be able to have an open conversation with a doctor about these kinds of things if you're prescribed any kind of medication. What the
fuck.
When I was in the visitors' waiting area, I saw a fancy plaque on the wall that listed the "Mental Healthcare Consumer Bill of Rights" -- basically, listing all the rights that a mental patient should expect to have on account of being, you know, a human being.
Almost everything on that list, yeah, sounded like a right that mental health patients should have. The problem is that most of the points on that list were being
blatantly violated, with almost no attempt made to hide it.
"You have the right to receive information on any and all diagnoses and treatment you receive." Bullshit. My friend wasn't told anything about her medication -- at least not at first -- and didn't even know she'd been diagnosed with anything until after the medication was already prescribed.
"You have the right to a second opinion." Oh really? Because when my friend asked for a second opinion in response to her depression diagnosis -- saying that she really didn't think she had depression -- the docs said she was being argumentative, and diagnosed her with BPD.
"You have the right to refuse any and all treatment that is offered to you."
Mmmm well technically you
can refuse it...
buuuut... then that means they can keep you locked up until you
do agree to take it. I would say that this technically fits the letter of the law and just not the spirit of the law,
but, even the letter of the law is still being violated, in some cases, because
apparently, if you refuse to take the medication prescribed to you, they just might try to
trick you into taking it by mixing it in with your food
like you're a fucking dog.
No, really. I overheard two staff members talk about how difficult one of the patients was being, and how they finally got him to take his meds by hiding it in his pudding. Not only that, but I also feel I should point out that these two staff members just so happened to be standing
right next to a sign on the wall that said "Patient information is confidential and should not be discussed here." And they referred to this patient
by name. I wish I was making this stuff up.
Technically my friend
was given a list of phone numbers to call if she witnessed any rights being violated or anything like that. So, I asked why she didn't call any of them. She said that she certainly wasn't going to call any of the numbers while she was
in the institution, because any attempt made at exercising her supposed rights just led to her being punished.
Think about that for a moment. She knew she was being mistreated, and had access to a higher authority that she could report this mistreatment to, but she didn't do any of that, because the people who were doing the mistreating had effectively bullied her into silence.
This is literally what abusers do to prevent their victims from getting help.
You call yourselves "doctors". Your goal is to help your patients
get better, and to make them
healthy again. But instead, you use abuse tactics on them.
The fact that you're still allowed to carry the title of "doctor" in spite of all that, is fucking appalling.
"Kaga, you're overreacting. I'm sure the doctors there are just acting in the patients' best interests. They had to force them to take medication in order to help them get better."
Two problems with that:
- If that's true, then I shouldn't be told that these patients have the "right" to refuse treatment, or anything else on that list, when none of it is actually true. If you're going to completely strip people of their autonomy and dignity "for their own good", then at least be honest about it.
- They straight-up said that the reason they didn't give my friend a choice in taking her meds, and the reasons why they were so harsh on punishing her, were because they had to "fix her behavior" and "keep her under control". Not to help her feel better, not to improve her mental health, but to control her.
That's not a doctor's job. That's a fucking
prison warden's job.
And you know what the
worst part of all this is?
The only reason my friend was taken to a mental hospital in the first place, was because she told a doctor that she was suicidal.
And, yeah, what's the best thing to do for someone who is suicidal? Take them -- against their will -- to a place where they will spend all day, every day, locked up indoors without any sunlight or fresh air, minimal contact with the outside world, no access to most/all of their old hobbies and sources of entertainment, hardly any autonomy to speak of, no ability to express their own opinions, and where they generally won't be treated like a human being with actual thoughts and feelings, and instead treated more like an animal in a zoo. You know, the sort of place that sounds like it was specifically designed to destroy a person's will to live. That makes
perfect sense.
My friend said that she and her family are already planning to sue. And, I mean,
good. Everything I have seen and heard about this place is fucked up on numerous levels and probably
literally illegal. I want to see justice get served, and I want to believe that my friend has a case, here.
...But...
I'm hesitant to be optimistic about anything, because I have a bad feeling that the lawsuit won't work out in their favor, and that the mental hospital will continue to do what they've been doing, and that no one will be able to do anything about such an injustice.
And
that is an
awful feeling...
That kind of feeling is the reason why I became so
emotionally numb just a few days ago, in response to a
completely different awful situation (which still hasn't been resolved...). I was optimistic then. I realized that the situation was shitty, but I tried to suggest ways to fix it. I kept on believing that there had to be someone or something we could turn to to help straighten things out. But... eventually, all our options were exhausted.
There was just... nothing else to be done. It was an awful situation -- one that reminded me of a very similar situation that
I went through, and that I was somehow lucky and privileged enough to get out of -- and there was nothing we could do to see justice be served.
Not only that, but, the whole incident left me doubtful as to whether or not any of us were even in the right about what was going on. Maybe my friend was wrong to think that this bad thing that happened to them was in fact a bad thing. Maybe all the people around us -- the people we were so upset with for not being on our side -- were actually right... And maybe, in my own, similar situation from the past, maybe I, too, was wrong... And maybe all of the emotions I felt back then were nothing more than a sign of my
weakness, of my
brokenness, of my
inability to be a functional human being and a sign that I
won't ever amount to anything meaningful because I'm just not cut out for this world.
It led to some very dark, despair-filled thoughts, and some hard relapsing on past emotional issues... and at a time when I was already stressed enough as it was, just dealing with the end of the semester... And, as a result, I just sort of... went numb. It wasn't even a conscious decision. It just sort of... happened. The emotions I was experiencing were too overwhelming, and some part of my brain just decided to... turn it off.
Even now, I have a hard time feeling upset about that particular situation. I know that it was fucked up, but I don't...
feel it like I did before. Even that last paragraph was more a reflection of my memories of how I felt at the time, rather than how I feel right now.
As for the mental hospital --
that I'm still pissed-off about. But my fear is that, although I'm riled up
now because I want to see my friend and her family fight to see this injustice be fixed... I can't help but worry that none of it will amount to anything, that "the establishment" will be against us from the very start -- and that, worst of all, we were all completely in the wrong, and so entitled, to think that there was anything wrong with what happened... And that everyone will be against us because they all know that that's just how the world
is... It sucks, and there's
nothing you can do about it.
And if you think that you
can do something about it? Or that, even if you personally can't do anything, that you still don't
deserve to be treated that way, and that someone
should do something about it?
Then you are nothing more than a pathetic, whiny, privileged, entitled, spoiled, good-for-nothing,
t r o p h y w i f e.
