RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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I miss her. I hate drunk drivers, if you drive drunk: fuck you three ways to Sunday.
Faith was a good person and my best friend, and thanks to you she's gone. Eight years later I am as hateful and angry as I was when I found out she was killed.

And your ass got off with a slap on the wrist.

Empty chairs at empty tables.
 
[spoili]Today has just been a pile of horse s**t for me. It's like I just couldn't get a break at all. From morning to afternoon to evening to night.

And then... I realized something. I realized something that's hurting me so, so much that I don't know what to do. Something so stupid, so silly. Yet it hurts. Why does it hurt?

*sigh*

I suppose there's always a silver lining, though. I'll always have my Mister. Maybe that's what today was trying to prove to me. Know who's important, forget the rest. I don't need anyone else's love and affection.[/spoili]
 
Mediating the Family Drama™

Again. Like always.

This has been my job since I can remember. I've been the referee for family arguments since I was about seven or eight. I'd say I've gone back in time, but instead of the drama being between my mother and my father and his family, now it's between my mother and her dad (and his wife) because no one in my family knows a damn thing about talking to one another and communicating.

Could none of you wait until the New Year?

Honestly, I'm 24, y'all are in your 40's and 70's so why am I one of the more level headed ones?
 
The longer it goes on, the more angry I'm going to be. Like, I'm very tired of people saying one thing and then changing their mind within a few days. Just be honest. Don't be a fucking baby.
 
I no longer have any concept of when I'm being an asshole vs when I'm being completely reasonable.

I really wish my sense of judgement could be re-calibrated or something... I don't like always feeling like I'm saying the wrong thing and completely mis-reading everyone's reactions around me.
 
all right, yes, I absolutely should have had a case for my phone by now

but dropping my phone twice from very short heights should not have busted both the speakers (the first time) and cracked the screen in several different places (the second time, today)

should have just stuck with a fucking samsung phone
dropped that thing like 100 times, many without a case, and not a scratch
 
I'm scared to go into work tomorrow because I fear being very late in stalls. But at least I don't have to work with bitchface.
 
=_= I feel like I'm being punished right now for my brother's procrastination.

...Oh, and my own kindness. I'm being punished for that, too.

I'm tired and I want to go to bed -- can I please have my laptop back so that my tabs and windows won't be a complete mess in the morning?
 
I hate these random bouts of sadness. Sometimes after seeing those damn dating website commercials I get really sad and lonely because I'm pretty sure I'll never find someone and my dad will never get to walk me down the aisle and I'll die alone. Or maybe with like 5 cats. Man I'm lame.
 
There are days I wish I could snap back at everyone that I know. No, just because it's a new year doesn't mean you should celebrate -- it's arbitrary. Things will be the same today as they were tomorrow. To me, this is just another day for people to cluck about nothing.
 
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When your friends openly exclude you :))))
 
When vacation comes to an end, and you go back to work in two days.
*curls into a ball*
 
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I just want to enjoy a TV show, and find people to enjoy that TV show with, without it turning into a reason to relapse into self-loathing. Is that so much to ask?

Or does just saying that lump me in with the characters that everyone seems to hate because of how pathetic they are?
 
DAY 2 OF 2017 AND I FEEL LIKE I'M ALREADY RELAPSING HARD ON MY EMOTIONAL ISSUES

AND PART OF ME THINKS THAT MAYBE I'M ONLY FEELING THIS WAY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF PMS. OR CAFFEINE WITHDRAWAL.

BUT I'M NOT SURE IF EITHER OF THOSE THINGS ARE TO BLAME OR IF I'M JUST A FUCKING MESS.

AND I'M NOT SURE IT'S HEALTHY TO BLAME ALL OF IT ON THOSE THINGS EITHER WAY.

AND I HAVE SOME NEW SELF-DEPRECIATING AVATARS AND SIGNATURES PICKED OUT.

AND I'M TEMPTED TO CHANGE INTO THEM,

BUT I'M NOT SURE IF THAT ACTUALLY SERVES AS A COPING MECHANISM LIKE I THOUGHT OR IF IT JUST MAKES IT WORSE

AND I STILL KIND OF WANT TO PUT ON A POSITIVE FACE AND KEEP THE "GOOD VIBES" OF MY VASH SET

BUT NOW I DON'T KNOW WHETHER PRETENDING TO BE POSITIVE WHEN I'M NOT WILL ACTUALLY HELP ME FEEL BETTER

OR IF IT'S JUST GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL WORSE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO HIDE MY REAL EMOTIONS AND BOTTLE IT ALL UP


SO THAT'S JUST GREAT
 
Boredom is killing me. I need my computer back now! Three more days till they even look at the damn thing..... Ugh!
 
Just spent the last 20 minutes crying and retching in the bathroom because no one at work wants to fucking tell me what's wrong. It's my day off. I can't even enjoy that. Maybe I need to disconnect my work email from my phone. It's like people forgot I was off. I don't want to be an adult anymore. I'm never gonna find support where I'm at, I get so stressed and lonely. I don't want to go back.
 
so they're just gonna casually take my extra shifts away from me

I thought this was permanent

oh well money so long it was nice having you

zzz
 
I'm in so much pain I feel like I could vomit. Or die.

Dying might be preferable. Every inch of me hurts.

ALSO: If you're going to say your machine takes Loonies, you might want to make sure that it, you know, ACTUALLY TAKES THEM.
(Thank god I had enough quarters T-T)
 
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