RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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This is why I begged you to cover your fucking mouth when you coughed.

My body can't fight illnesses well, and I have to be very careful with respiratory sicknesses because they literally could kill me. I have a bad immune system, my antibodies attack healthy cells. My body can't handle an illness when it comes to my lungs and sinuses, last time I got this ill I was almost hospitalized. I can hardly swallow anything, it's getting harder to breathe through my nose and I can't even yawn without pain. This illness took my ability to smell last time, and I fear what this bought might bring. I have to go to the ER tomorrow because of this.

COVER YOUR DAMN MOUTH WHEN YOU COUGH.
 
I hope this is just some weird 24 hour thing and not strep thoat

It best not be strep.
 
Whyyyyyyyy is it already snowing? WHY IS IT ALREADY SNOWING!? Its barely Autumn! THERE WERE STILL GREEN LEAVES!!!
 
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Okay, 99.9% sure it's not strep. 25% sure it could be tonsillitis; 75% sure it's nothing.

It's probably because I had bile at the back of my throat for who knows how long the other night, which caused the coughing, which caused the swelling, which caused more coughing, which caused more swelling...

You get the picture. It's a vicious cycle.

Either way, I've coughed so much that I can taste blood on the back of my tongue (none has come up though, so yay?). If the swelling hasn't gone away by tomorrow, I'll go to the clinic and see what it is, if anything.

If my one roommate could stop treating me like I had the goddamn plague though, that'd be nice. I know they don't want to get sick, but they don't have to be so... rude and obnoxious about it
 
Whyyyyyyyy is it already snowing? WHY IS IT ALREADY SNOWING!? Its barely Autumn! THERE WERE STILL GREEN LEAVES!!!
I love seeing rose bushes in full bloom covered in snow
#Alberta
 
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I love seeing rose bushes in full bloom covered in snow
#Alberta

Oh I'm not denying that it's beautiful. It's just stupid cold and I don't have my winter tires on yet. Gonna be super slick for a while ._.

also hello fellow Albertan
 
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I hate my brain. I feel like I'm barely functional these days.
 
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

My ex texted me telling me she misses me. Like... YOU left ME. We aren't even divorced yet and you're already engaged to one of my employees when I worked in the oilfield!

And of course I told her the truth. I'm not over her yet. Because I'm an idiot, and I like to beat a dead horse.
 
Note
Any and all references are not based to individuals are not based in Iwaku, but rather, real life. College to be exact.
This will also sound whiney, I'm not usually whiney, so let me whiney for one moment in my life.

-I'm tired of people who have this narcissistic, cynical attitude on literally everything and anything. These fucking vacuums of negativity that believe themselves to be righteous in their unnerving cause and openly belittle others in some self-satisfying pursuit of entitlement. Who, not only are unnerving on their outlook on life, apply it to everything else such as what forms of media they like to what foods they'll eat, getting stuck, ironically, in their own self-centered stubbornness. How such supposed "intellectuals" make the mistake of succumbing to human folly is beyond my comprehension, and their willingness to not once admit defeat in their life is not only baffling but frankly idiotic.

-I'm tired of my inability to roleplay anymore, feeling this endeavor to be pointless and trying my hand at writing short stories. I hate having to sign up for a roleplay only to make two or three posts and then hide behind my jokes of "oh man that silly Ty" when in reality I feel like I can't do what was once my favorite hobby. It doesn't help that my college work, although limited in my freshman year, is breathing down my neck at this very moment as I fall into this loom of arbitrary work that is classified as "higher education".

-I am tired of people who think censorship is some justified means of approaching a conflict, as if silencing the problem simply makes it go away like pixie dust~! When in reality it festers like some cancerous tumor, growing and growing to affect others not even involved in the initial confrontation.

-I am tired of fratboys who throw away their life to booze and sex and forsaking the true, honest to god friends they made back at home. People with no true sense of ambition or drive, surrounding themselves with the false pleasures of life, Mustangs and pastel-suits buying a madman's version of happiness. When, at one point, these people had true friends...

-I am...just tired. All the time it seems. I need a nap.
 
when people you used to be tight with drop you for their more interesting, cooler friends who are actually scummy people :')
 
I've written this and rewritten it countless times without actually posting, because articulating it in a way that looks healthy is hard. Family problems. The problem in the family has the same mental condition as me, but he lashes out rather than getting help or distracting himself too much to consider it. I have done both and turned out spectacularly. He has more money and opportunities than me, and refuses to do either.

I produce music, consume music, drink, play video games, write surreal stories with strangers on the internet and watch cartoons to get away from stressful events that would otherwise overwhelm me in the way that they overwhelm him. He does things that drive his immediate family to drink at family gatherings, sometimes. Not little embarrassing things that a dumb family comedy would make a scene from, he gets spiteful and emotionally abusive at such odd times that I can't call it a pattern. We've all stopped talking to my uncle as much as we can, but any contact with him that can't be avoided quickly becomes hard on his mother and my mother. I want to hurt him physically, against all better instincts and socialization.
 
So most likely just a cold, albeit a nasty one.

Tell you what though, if my one roommate accuses me of getting her sick, I'm going to flip. I'm not the one who's been coughing, wet nasty sounding coughs I might add, since they got home from their SO's place - days before I started showing symptoms. Hell, I barely leave the house as it is; it's not me who's been getting people sick.
 
why does everyone assume I'm a fucking volunteer

how many receptionists do you know that are volunteers

there's probably no reason I should get upset about this, but at least once a month some old person has to ask if I'm a volunteer. no!! I am a paid employee!
 
I feel like a mummy who is constantly unraveling. My bandages keep coming loose, and have less of a tight fit each time I try to fix myself back up. All while I go about my day like a grouchy ol' corpse who can't decide between crawling back into her tomb, or siccing my mummy curse on people. I don't want to be more of a bitter asshole than I already am. But goddammit I'm getting so, so, soooo tired of people's shit. I'm losing my fucking mind. I get a full night of sleep and wake up still feeling exhausted because even in my sleep I'm stressed out. Impending para un bending...
 
Three years down the drain. Build an entire life around this person and they figure, hey you are no longer worth the time or effort and abandon you out of nowhere. BUT WAIT, a month later (Today) you get a message at 3:30 AM saying "Can we talk." Like my damned love-life wasn't hard enough trying to forget you ever existed or that the last three years of my life had been worthless and a waste of time. I was on the path to recovery and now it feels like I am right back to step-fucking-one.
 
This is turning into a conflict. Turns out the fiance is abusing her. I might have to go papabear, so don't be surprised if you don't fucking see me for a while.
 
I've been holding off tears for three days and counting and I don't know why.

*sigh* This is what I get for bottling up my emotions - unexplained outbursts when nothing is wrong.

(Also, how did I never tell my roommates I'm arachnophobic? We may have just moved in together, but I've known these people for ten years)
 
I wish parents would realize that their kids are not freaking computers that you can keep downloading info and adding apps on. Hell, even after a while, the computer goes slow! Do you really wanna break your kid because your dreams for them are unrealistic?!? Ugh this freaking pisses me off!

Also, thank you racist Islamophobe teenager who freaking pushed a nine year old kid in the playground, hard enough that he cut his mouth and needed six stitches. x.x I thought we were better than that in Canada.
 
I feel like a terrible 'cat parent'. I never, ever thought I would be the sort to adopt an animal and then regret it, to have a severe urge to return them to the shelter. But it's been a almost a year and a half now and I still sometimes feel so strongly negative towards my cat.

She's not like Percy or Boo. They're my babies. I would not give them up for anything. But she's a menace. She destroys things. She's so whiny and so loud and when it's just me and her alone in the apartment - which is quite often these days - I just cannot calm her down. At all.

And this is all my fault. It's not her fault. She's just a cat. I'm sure if I dedicated half my time to playing with her she might calm down but I can't do that. And I'm sure there are ways to try and combat her whininess and her general naughtiness but I don't know what those ways are. I tried positive reinforcement/clicker training and she doesn't respond to those at all.

I'm just at a loss. I think she would really benefit from a feline companion but I can't have another cat here. I will eventually be moving back in with my parents next year which means she will have my other two cats but I feel sick about that idea, too. I don't even want to take her with me. I wish my roommate would keep her.

I feel like the worst fucking person for even thinking this way. She didn't deserve this. I wish I had just rehomed her last year before she had time to bond with us. ashf7usdfhki
 
Why can't I finish anything?! Every time I get close to an acceptable end someone has to shit all over everything! I'm fucking sick of this godforsaken project! Don't like how I programmed it? YOU FUCKING REWRITE IT ASSHOLE.
 
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