RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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It's really not fun not being able to fall asleep between 4 and 5 AM because you hear your parents having sex in their bedroom that's directly below yours.

I just wanna sleep please.
 
Not even going to pretend that doesn't piss me off.
I can see you, but whatever. Fuck it.
 
I don't know what's wrong with me. I haven't been able to emotionally feel anything for the past couple months. When I'm almost in a traffic collision, patients and customers at my work are being insult and aggressive, having my hand shattered and rebuilt through surgery, I run out of money from bills, parents divorce and fight over belongings, or my boyfriend talks about his own difficulties and depression. None of it bothers me. Things just happen and I feel more and more like just letting go of mt steering wheel in traffic. I probably won't since I'd be more likely to just be paralyzed or crippled, then shipped off to another mental ward.

No idea what I want from life, feels like I don't want anything. Even if I did regain emotion, it'd just be a life of having people hating me for existing. Maybe I've just been living with depression so long that my spirit actually killed itself and I'm the left behind husk.

Anyway. That's about it I guess. Would be cool if I could be more supportive for my partner but I'm just so tired. I dunno.
 
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There’s this guy at work that nobody likes. I don’t really have any strong opinions about him. From what I’ve observed so far, he seems pretty anti-social. He doesn’t have a very strong work ethic either. For the most part, he’s been ill a lot (whether this is really the case or he’s just been feigning it is unknown) and has a habit of saying the wrong things at the wrong time/cracking jokes that can be misinterpreted very easily.

I don’t dislike him. I don’t like him either. I honestly don’t even know him that well.

Anyway, today’s his last day at work. Almost everybody’s been talking shit about him behind his back for as long as I’ve been here. At times they’ve been straight up passive-aggressive with him.

I get where they’re coming from. I get it. But it’s just fucking unprofessional when they air their dirty laundry in the group chat where coworkers and supervisors can see. They make it sound like it’s a farewell message (when it’s really just a thinly-veiled passive aggressive jab at him), but as soon as they unceremoniously kick him out of the group they proceed to talk shit.

The dude’s already leaving. Can’t they let it go? Like, for fuck’s sake, I don’t wanna see this shit. I just want to work in peace, man.
 
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Conflicted. Just got back from a convention. It was great but now I got the news that one of my 60-something year old aunts is running around and stealing electronics from people's houses. I don't know what the situation is or if it's possibly armed robbery? Where do I go to sign up for a normal family? I'm tired of hearing things like this.
 
It's boost week, there is a heat advisory, it's Friday, and my ability to leave early depends how n my most unreliable co-worker. I am fucked....
 
Fuck everyone and everything. Fuck this week and my shitty schedule. Fuck the little brats my daughter hangs out with that brought a cop beating on my door first thing in the morning. If yesterday was a sign of what my week is going to be like, I quit right now.
 
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Kinda feel big sucky right now. I've been getting sick a lot, and minus my mental heath sickness. Depression yeets me out the ball park every day, but like physical health wise. I'm suffering from indigestion now, and throw up every morning when I wake up. I'm on three medications for my stomach, and although it has controlled my vomitting, I still vomit, and I feel so tired all the time. I honestly don't know why. I don't know why I get so exhausted easily, and it makes me moody and lazy. Then I take my anger out in the form of being passive agressive, and sometimes it just slips out...me being passive aggressive when im in such a shitty feeling. i feel like my body is just turning on me, and im only 18....so it is odd. big odd.
 
Today is supposed to be my day off! I want to sleep in, spend time with my husband, and generally do nothing all day. But noooo! I've got to work a 10 hour shift.....
 
my mental illness convinces me to think any and everyone hates me and it’s part of the reason i’m too scared to talk to anyone even my own friends or whatever if i have any

it sure does get a kick outta that tho lmaoo
 
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An old friend got f mine died on Friday. I am saddened by it, but I haven't cried and people have been asking me why. The answer is simple, I am angry. I'm pissed off that the sweet, caring, often times annoying person I knew became someone else because of drugs. I'm curious that because doctors pushed opiates on her, she ended up becoming an addict and rather than helping her, they continued feeding her addiction. It depresses me that drugs had such a hold on her that she ended up dying in an accident trying to get money for a fix. I want to be able to mourn her, but the truth is the person that I knew, the very first person outside of my aunt and cousin to see me for who I am, died the first time she was put on an operating table and pumped full of addictive pain meds.

Everyone keeps telling me I am going through the stages of grief and I am simply stuck on anger, but that doesn't feel true. There is nothing else there but anger. Not at her. Not at her boyfriend who is being investigated for the accident. All of my anger is toward the pharmaceutical companies that pushed the drugs on people knowing what they would do to people.
 
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"Reasons being I have to do an inspection around the back"

Oh do you now? Are you a building inspector? Do you know building code back to front?

No. You're just an old man who has a problem with the landlord and upstairs neighbours for no apparent reason even though it's you that has actively caused problems for everyone. You just want an excuse to snoop around and bitch and cause more petty problems.

God, why are you like this? You're fifty. Stop acting like a pouty toddler who didn't get his way just because your last scheme backfired
 
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Lazy coworkers. Asshole customers. And my husband dug up my dog's grave for tomorrow when we put him down. Fuck. Today. It can fuck off and keep fucking off until the end of time.
 
so many threads bein sent to the graveyard. makes me a little sad, hha.
 
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