Questions about vampires...

Isabella Hime

Winter is coming...
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FOLKLORE MEMBER
We where watching Twilight the other day and came up with a few we want answered..


Do vampires get fat? Or if they where fat before they became vampires would they lose weight? Or will they stay eternally fat? How does fatness work with vampires?


Any other vampire questions?

All so you can discuss Twilight here.. Man that movie is... odd.
 
Re: Guestions about vampires...

Dear god! I was wondering about that too!

Along with the "The human body frame isn't THAT strong, or even close to it. To be able to run like that, or fight like that is beyond possible in any way"

Also along with the "It's more believable that vampires spark up and hold their own "Trial by Fire" in the sun, than to get all sparkly" For me, I'm at least able to look at the flammable bodies and come up with chemical reaction reasons. For me, I'm kinda wondering if maybe, vampire's skin is somewhat like a tiny methlab, only it doesn't need a spark, just light.
 
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There IS spontaneous combustion! So the potential for the human body to burst in to flame is there! I guess for vampires it's triggered by sunlight!


I dunno about fatness, though. c__c I'm STILL trying to figure it out! In most vampire lore, whatever you were like when you're turned is how you stay. So I can only assume you keep all that fat too.
 
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The movie Twilight I hated, but the book was okay.

"Hold on Spider-monkey" ?! ...wat?

I wonder if you could choke one with its own entrails? So they supposedly are as hard as granite? Diamond-tipped saw. Are their insides as hard? Are they decaying? If I looped it around their neck and pulled hard enough, would they die? They don't need air, but does whatever voodoo bullshit that keeps them alive go around signals sent by the brain?

Never seen a chubby vamp before.
 
Re: Guestions about vampires...

Yes, vampires are fat, and can get fat (relatively speaking).

You don't see fat vampires in film because vampires are and always have been, well, bluntly put, "walking sex." They're the epitome of perfect sexual beings (just read the original Dracula. Sheesh!). They represent everything we want in a sexual partner, and most people don't have sexual fantasies about fatties. Ya ken?
 
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Varies on the legends. Most old tales of vampires is that they are like zombies that merely feed on blood to survive and over time change from sluggish walking corpses to youthful; this is especially true of Chinese and Eastern European accounts. Hard to say if they are actually fat or not. For the most part, I am going to say "No," because once again using Eastern European lore most vampires would have been from the lower classes because the stories generally clearly state vampires cannot leave metal coffins. The rich would have been buried in metals coffins because they could afford it. Back, then only rich people were fat...So there~
 
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I thought I would help you guys out by lovingly whipping up this little visual. TO HELP THINGS ALONG.

twifag.jpg
 
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I watched both Twilight movies with Rifftrax commentary. That's the only interaction I've had with the series. But I was laughing at the writing itself in more than a couple places. Most of all while watching the New Moon rifftrax where Edward smacks her across the room into the wall TO PROTECT HER FROM HARM INSTEAD OF JUST RESTRAINING THE GUY.


And on the subject of the ridiculous sparkling. . . I mean if you're going to try having tension of a human loving a Vampire half the stuff usually comes out of the fact that Vampires are naturally nocturnal and humans are usually not. Plus the idea of the one you love bursting into flames just for joining you out on a beautiful sunny day. . . it just sucks.

At least in the Vampire Hunter D novels they give a science-fiction esque explanation toward any variant from classical vampire lore that occurs. It's one of the reasons I'm such a huge VHD fan.
 
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WEREWOLVES HERE, VAMPIRES SUCK.

twilight-new-moon-wolf-pack.jpg
 
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Man. New Moon sucked! It wasn't NEARLY as hilariously bad as the first Twilight! I spent all of Twilight laughing my ass off and cracking jokes with Isaboo and Taboo, but all I could do in New Moon was drool over werewolves. >:[

Except that Edward smacking Bella to safety part. That was freaking hilarious. XD
 
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Edward leaves Bella for some illogical reason. Jacob replaces him. Twilight all over again. Stuck in dramatic neutral. Watch this on TV instead. Don't rent it. Don't buy it on Blu-Ray or DVD.

Oh, and that werewolf was a pussy compared to that of An American Werewolf in London.

You know what, scratch that. That werewolf was pussy. Period.
 
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I think vampires can gain weight, but werewolves cant cuz in the movie they make them so sexy, and i said soo! ( still thought the movie was horribly funny, but not as funny as the first, not enough stalker like staring)
 
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Jacob was a shitty werewolf >:(



...the other guys are cool. BELIEEEEEEVE ME.


(I still hate twilight though and all its incarnations >:[ )
 
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Ampu just likes all the half naked men. So does Frost.
 
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PERSONALLY, I THINK THERE SHOULD BE MORE HALF-NAKED MEN.

Also, according to True Blood, vampires can be fat. And some are foxy ladies with slinky dresses and badass 'fros. . . Why don't I WATCH this, more?
 
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I only like Jacob because he's as hot as me. =D[/shameless]
 
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I prefer the portrayal by "Dusk Til Dawn".
 
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DOTDZombie.jpg


Vampires? Werewolves? Sorry, can't hear them over the sound of how awesome we are.