Public Apology

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Brovo, May 23, 2015.

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  1. Lately (especially the past few weeks) I've been going about General Discussion threads pushing my political opinions on people. I've been thinking on it for a while and I realize that my initial goal with coming here was to be positive, upbeat, fun. Instead I've been picking fights, biting down hard on troll bait, and even throwing troll bait out myself for the explicit purpose of irritating people I don't agree with. This behaviour--especially for somebody professing to be a sensei ferret in his user title--is unacceptable according to my own beliefs. I'm not very good at this sort of thing, so I hope y'all don't mind the lack of eloquence in this statement.

    I apologize.

    Yes, I apologize. I'm sorry for pickin' fights and making general discussion a no-fun-allowed zone. As enjoyable as discussions and debates can be, when I see threads like this pop up, I can't help but evaluate myself first. When I look at myself in the mirror, from an outsider's perspective, I see a ranting, raving lunatic with a ferret obsession. That's not what I wanted to be: I wanted to be helpful, and friendly. Tolerant, uplifting even. Whilst I've aimed to be this in other sections of the website like with my guides and role plays, I've utterly failed in general discussion to uphold these practices as I've spat out my political diatribes and soap box opera sessions. Maybe others start these GD troll fights first, but I'm sure not helping by contributing to them.

    I know this sort of thing usually belongs in counseling, and if moderators reading this feel it better belongs there, then go for it. However, I'm not seeking advice, and I'm not here to ask for pity either. I posted it here since it was general discussion getting the brunt of my political diatribes, and because it'll get more visibility here than it will elsewhere. Again, to everyone here: I'm sorry. I'll focus on role plays and fun stuff in the future, not pushing my philosophical beliefs onto people.

    In the future I will handle myself more appropriately, especially for what I profess to be. I came here to role play and have fun, not tell people how wrong they are in Internet dick measuring contests.

    There. Swallowed my pride. Now to go and keep working on some upcoming guides and other fun stuff... :ferret:
     
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  2. This has sat for too long without a response. o3o I wanted to wait for someone else to say something, but... yeah.

    I wouldn't be so critical of yourself, yo. I haven't seen you causing any messes in General Discussion. And I'd say you're more than entitled to speak your mind in discussion and debate threads. I see no reason to censor yourself. o3o

    Oh, and that thread from Counseling that you linked had nothing to do with the goings on in General Discussion, so I certainly wouldn't worry yourself about that one. Isn't it perhaps a tad narcissistic to see a complaint directed at an entire online community and assume they're referring to you? :P

    I meeeeean it's great that you want to better yourself and all, but like, I think you might worry too much, man. Prior to you posting this thread, I didn't even think you had anything to apologize for. Just relax. I don't think anyone really saw you as a problem or anything. We're all cool here. ^^

    ...Or maybe I'm totally wrong and you had like dozens of people PMing you ten-paragraph-long rants about how you're the scum of the Earth and you should just leave already. I dunno. This post is just based on my own observations alone. *shrugga-shrug-shrug*
     
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  3. @Kaga-kun

    You ninja'd me. I just now read this, after dinner and dishes, and I was about to reply, until YOU RUINED IT!!! I hate you. :(

    @Brovo
    I really didn't notice you really being a dick, but then again, I really don't notice mean like the others. My mind takes it in to learn from and move on. I don't see issue with your GD posts, and I personally thank you for setting me straight. So yes. PRAISE THE CHUNKS!!!
     
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  4. Currently experiencing quite a bit of storm anxiety, so not really going to be able to put out a complex thought about this, but I share Kaga's sentiment. I really love everything you have to say here, and maybe there really is something you can do to be better, but I wouldn't like it if you just stopped completely because you were worried you can't handle it properly.

    I know that for me, I always feel like I'm messing things up. I come in with a good heart though. I come in wanting to understand people. I come in wanting to help people understand how I feel about a matter. If you have that, then even when you mess up, the details can just work themselves out.
     
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  5. Brovo, I read most of what you write in General chat, and I've honestly never read anything that made you sound like an asshole. Take it from someone who is married to one, I know what an asshole sounds like, and you're not one. :P

    Cheer up, or I'll have to send pictures of Freddy trying to hide in the grass. Since it's been cut I don't think she realizes we can see her. =/
     
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  6. There's probably a few people that could stand to make a public apology. You, however, are not one of them, as far as I'm concerned.
     
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  7. I ain't gonna accept your apology for shit nerd. <3
     
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  8. Maybe, but I'm part of that community, and I don't like some of the things I've been doing lately as contributions towards that community. I mostly figured that between my ego and a simple apology, there'd be no harm in apologizing.
    Well, I appreciate that, but I think I can do a little better. I have gotten into a lot of debates lately and that usually causes me to become reflective: The odds become greater that something I'm doing is in error if I'm ending up confrontational against more people, rather than less.
    There is a section of this community that sees me as problematic. I've also gotten a couple hate mail type PM's during my time here, but that isn't new in the slightest. If anything, Iwaku's community is much better than what I had to deal with before. :ferret: I just try to practice a 'live and let live' policy, and whilst I appreciate the kind words others have given me here, I do feel as though I can improve. I don't think I'm 'scum of the Earth', but, hey, refer back to the first part: Between ego or an apology where I may have done wrong, there's no harm in the apology.
    Well, thanks. I'm glad I could help you see some things differently.
    The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I do have a lot of doubt about myself and my words, I'm constantly self-evaluating, constantly seeking out better ways to go about my business. I won't stop being a person or throw myself away, but if I feel I can improve, I will.

    My tone is often remarked upon as confrontational. That's something I want to start working on. It's hard though, to read the tone in my words from the perspective of others.

    Thank you, nonetheless.
    :rotfl: It's fine, I'm not upset or depressed or anything. I mean, I deal with my fair share of emotional scars, but none of those involve this site. I just feel I can do better. Sure, there may be others worse than I am, but I'm not those people: I'm me. If I'm not being the best me I can be, then I'm selling myself short. It's a long, hard road, and sometimes if I feel I've crossed the road into egotistical territory or otherwise, I apologize.

    I'm... Kind of surprised, honestly, at how much kindness people are showing me here. I thought I had a much dirtier reputation than this. Obviously, I was wrong, and need to reevaluate that.

    ... If you're still offering a picture of freddy in the grass, I certainly won't say no to something so adorable from the little carpet shark. :ferret:
    Maybe so, but as I've said above: This is an apology to anyone I have upset or made feel terrible for what they believe. Still, I'm glad you think so highly of me.
    Well I ain't gonna be witty in my thanks. I'd repeat myself above again but you'd probably just call me a pretentious nerd. <3

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Thanks, everyone. I still need to think on this more, but it's good to know that I haven't upset people as much as I thought I have. Still, to anyone reading this who does feel like I've treated them poorly, this is a relevant apology to you. That's never been my objective.

    Peace dove!
    [​IMG]
     
  9. Apologies are often wasted on the internet. Don't worry yourself old boy, you give yourself an ulcer.

    However you have demonstrated a degree of humility most of us lack. I applaud you, sir.
     
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  10. Oh, I don't mean to say that having good intentions excuses you, but rather the fact you have good intentions is why it will work out for you. It is because you actually care that you doubt yourself and try to improve in the ways that you can. But I also just wanted to say, that even if you do mess up, I'll always be someone who sees the best in you. So it is something like, don't stop doing the things you are doing just because you might end up messing up and needlessly offending someone because there is more value to your attempt than there is damage that you inflict. As everyone else has said, even though you are apologizing, I can't think of anything that really warranted it. But, I guess it isn't wrong either since you get to cover your bases.
     
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  11. I say no apology was necessary.
     
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  12. This.

    I don't see the problem, but whatever helps you sleep at night Brovo.
     
    #12 ASTA, May 24, 2015
    Last edited: May 24, 2015
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  13. Take some anyway, from someone who has lived a long life and fucked up a lot; you've got to apologize to people individually. The people who have felt themselves wronged by you will not appear in this thread to say 'thank you.' The people on the opposite end of that, those who agree with your opinions and haven't been wronged, only validate your bad behavior by posting here saying 'no apology needed, I haven't seen anything.'

    However, previous posters are right in that you shouldn't beat yourself up too much. Kids spew their opinions all over the place, just like toys in earlier years. An apology is a good start, but it won't clean up the mess. That's what I tell my kids: "Don't apologize, just clean it up."
     
  14. I accept your apology this time.
     
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  15. I say this as someone who hasn't really gotten along with you the past while, there's nothing you've done in General Chat that you need to be apologizing for.

    Like others here have said, you're being too hard on yourself.
    There are shit starters, and then there's those who are just passionate about something.
    You from what I've seen in debate threads fall under the "passionate about something" category.
     
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  16. YOO DA REEL MVP, BROVO.
     
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  17. Came here to say something sentimental and something else sincere. But it's really early, there's apple bits in my beard, and I'm worried the roleplay responses I hammered out are terrible this morning.

    Personally I just accepted it as who you were. Every thread you reply to, bait or not, usually came with logic and legit sources to back it up.

    S'all good in the hood, Holmes.
     
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  18. Says someone who IS a shit starter, or atleast you egg it on.

    But this is not the time or place. as someone said above, apologies are wasted. Your impression on people works the same as in real life, you can manipulate, change their views on you, or have them stubborn throughout the entire ordeal. Ive Seen your so called "work" Brovo, you leave no impression on me however, but i will applaud your pride swallowing, takes a big.... ferret.

    [Yoda Voice]Free Ferret Hugs one must do, hmmmyes.
     
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  19. I may be falling into similar paranoia pits, but I feel I should jump on the stage here.

    Who is responsible for this (open)
    As far as I know, I'm the ringleader of the one giving Brovo shit. Him, along with Windsong, Gwazi and Jorick, have been the targets of at least a half-dozen bait threads, Cbox insults and rants.

    My intention: to make them leave.
    Why I'm doing this (open)
    It was something I did as an Administrator - I pushed trouble-makers and perceived trouble-makers to the point of outburst. For four of the five years it proved an effective tactic. We got rid of egotists, attention-whores, trolls and even the odd sexual predator. Sure, Iwaku may have stood to benefit from some of those people, but I made the call and drove them out. My vindication was the sense of community that remained - the sense of a tight-knit family that thought similarly (thought the way that I could understand).
    Why it is escalating (open)
    By Year 5, however, the tactic started to break down. People on the internet were getting better with words, better with rules and better with loopholes. It became harder to provoke them and harder to bend the disciplinary code to get rid of them. My frustration grew.

    This is how the Internet has changed in recent years. Debates, arguments and public shaming have become the forefront of the culture. And people are evolving to that environment.
    Why them (open)
    I see Windsong, Jorick, Brovo, Gwazi and others of the Great Migration as products of this new culture. The perception is that they thrive on debate for its own sake, and would rather divulge their opinions at length than truly have fun or use their creativity. I'm accustomed to people defining their online personae through creation, not through breaking down others.

    In a time of social justice warriors, public shaming and hipster desperation - this results in a complete exhaustion of Iwaku's spirit.
    The real why (open)
    And that's the real why. I've spent seven years of my life hanging around Iwaku. I fell in love with it, and met some of the best people I've ever met. Many of those people are gone now, and a few of them have left on account of the worsening situation in General Chat. It's the end of an era. It's change - and it's depressing change. I know there are better things to come - as there are from any change - but I have yet to see them.

    It saddens me that I'm the old man ranting about things not being like they used to. But just because that's a cliche doesn't make those feelings invalid.
    Alright shut up and tell us what you're going to do about it (open)
    So, I'm going to abandon my belief that you guys will eventually "snap", because it's clear that no one does that anymore. And I'm going to dispel the image of you all as an organized Skype cadre who plot their moves and talks about Iwaku as them rather than us. That's in my head.
    A note about the staff (open)
    I also want to add that, since I left, there are no power-hungry asshole staff members. The last one was me, and let me tell you - I REALLY PUT THEM OFF that way of life. Being an ego-driven Machiavellian alpha was exhausting for everyone, including me - which is why I resigned.

    It is far, far, far easier to be kind, regulated and chillaxed. That is an abiding truth about the Iwaku staff room.

    Diana is the best you will find out here, and the mentality she instills in the staff room is exemplary. Do not ever associate my behaviour with hers. She was the shining light that even a dark dickhead like me trusted to take the reins.
    What now bitch tits (open)
    I'm gonna try and run a Pathfinder Campaign and stop being a master-baitory cunt. And when I see debates spring up, I'm gonna accept that there is no right or wrong answer, just as there are no right or wrong members.

    This apology gave us all room to reflect, @Brovo - thanks for that.

    In Pathfinder they say that ferrets are immune to Basilisk stares. Let me never try to turn the world to stone while you're around.


     
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  20. Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    She wouldn't stay in the grass. She was too busy showing off her climbing skills and teasing the dog.
     
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