PSA Of the Day: Suicide/Death Notes Are a No No!

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Diana, Jan 9, 2015.

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  1. Iwaku is a place of fun and fantasy. An escape from your everyday world so you can be creative while in the company of your friends. Sometimes, though, things GET REAL! Or in really terrible cases get NOT REAL. So for today's PSA we're going to talk about the very serious issue of suicide and death.

    About Suicide

    Where MANY of us suffer from severe illnesses like anxiety or depression, and while we offering a Counseling forum and a Blogs section where you are able to get advice from peers or vent emotions, we don't allow you to post topics about how much you want to kill yourself or post suicide notes.

    This is not because we don't want you to talk about it or get support from other members who are going through the same thing. Please DO ask for advice, talk to friends, tell people when you're starting to have these feels. But do it where appropriate!

    These reasons are why we don't allow suicide notes on Iwaku:

    1. Iwaku is not equipped to help people who are at the brink of suicide. If you are at the point where you're self harming and starting to plan for a suicide, you need to seek help from a professional ASAP. You need to talk to people that can help you find out what lifestyle or medication changes you need, and can offer extra kinds of support that simply talking to a friend can't achieve. A lot of us can listen, and we can give simple advice, but we have our own bags to carry and won't always be able to be there for you. <--- Hopeline is a good place to start with if you have never sought help for your depression before. USE IT!

    In some cases if a member feels like someone is in serious danger of harming themselves, they contact authorities and report it. Iwaku Admins WILL give out IP addresses to help authorities track down members making suicide threats if we are asked to.

    Which brings us to:

    2. Most of the time the people posting these messages are just seeking attention or trying to cause drama. :( It's a sad truth, but it happens often, even more often than people seeking real advice. It makes it difficult for the people who DO need help and advice to get it, because attention seekers create a bad environment. If we catch you using suicide threats as a way to manipulate members, we will ban you.

    To reiterate, if you are starting to get scary suicidal, CONTACT SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU OR A HOTLINE. You CAN get help, even if you are poor as hell or in a shitty family situation. You just have to be brave and strong enough to take that step. Do it for your friends on Iwaku that want to see you get better. <3

    And if you're doing it just for attention, we're gonna kick your ass.

    About Death Announcements

    These are notes saying "The owner of this account has DIED."

    They are almost always FAKE.

    During my own time on the internet across several communities and many years, I have only see this happen honestly FOR REAL three times. Every other time was a proven FAKE by people using multiple accounts to cause drama. :( Losing members to death IS something that happens, but very rarely are families and friends able to share this kind of information to a site like Iwaku. We are not on their priorities. Grieving families are only going to contact important friends.

    Unless you can provide funeral arrangement details or an obituary, or we can find them on our own, we are going to assume any publicly posted Death Announcements are indeed fake and your account will be banned.

    You would think these are things we shouldn't have to tell people, but sadly, fake suicides and deaths ARE a thing that happen quite often. :( And it screws things over for members who really do need the help and support.

    Thank you everyone for using Iwaku responsibly and safely!
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  2. Goodness. Thank you so much for this. While it is nice to see so many kindred spirits, this is very real - the site is not professionally equipped with suicide prevention tools. Hope this fact is made clear through this PSA!
  3. Suicide is a terrible thing, and I'd have to agree. The site isn't equipped for it, but there are so many awesome members on here that will be happy to help, whether it be just to talk, or have a shoulder to cry on :)
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    If you're one of those people who do suffer from depression and are in a slump, remember there's always help available. The Samaritans run an excellent, confidential service 24/7 that you can get in touch with if you're needing someone to talk to.

    Seriously, getting help when you're in the dumps is a good idea. You should do it.
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  5. Indeed, suicide is a grave matter. Get it?
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  6. It's not very mature to speak of suicide like that. Suicide is a dark and serious matter. It isn't something you should joke about...
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  7. Tough crowd...
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  8. Actually joking about death is a normal human reaction. Is it crass to do so at a funeral, yes, but considering the topic is discussing how much of the suicide threats on site are fake, how it's attention seeking, a joke was inevidable.
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  9. Thanks Diana for making this announcement. I myself have used the counseling thread for advice, and I am thankful for the great advice I received. Using suicide threats as a form of attention or trolling is messed up. I think people need to realize how much trouble they can actually get in for things like that.
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  10. If there happens to be a Swedish member considering suicide, Nationella Hjälplinjen is open to chat from 13-22 every day.
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  11. Okay, I usually avoid topics like this mainly because I don't seek any sort of sympathy. However, having severe depression and multiple suicide attempts in the past, I would like to clearly state how offensive it is for someone to use it as a ticket to seek attention. This kind of behavior is immature and just downright harmful to Iwaku's creative and friendly environment.
    Thank you so much for posting this, Diana.
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  12. depends on your personality mate. i find making light of my own attempts robs them of their power and helps me move onwards.
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  13. About the people talking about Death: I am one of those people who laugh at a funeral. I understand Death is a serious matter, and that is exactly why I laugh. I was at the Holocaust Museum in Washington DC, Very serious place, and We passed a wall from the Warsaw Ghetto, and a description plate fell. We were so tense from being serious in that museum, that a lot of people laughed. You know why? It was tense and serious, and we needed relief. death is serious and We need relief, That is why I laugh at funerals. But it should not be taken lightly.
    On Suicide: I have tried to commit suicide, and Lost two friends to it. I struggle with both stress, anxiety, and ADHD, I take suicide lightly as well because I know that if they are Christian, they will be in heaven. I take it lightly, because I have tried it and won't again. I understand how it feels, so I take stuf lightly with a sense of humor.
    HOWEVER That being said: I believe Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary Problem, and should not be taken lightly unless you understand it.
  14. Also as someone who has struggled with depression, anxiety, and have been put in a psych ward for a suicide attempt's in the past. I completely agree with all of this.

    Edit: Although I do see it as offensive its the type of offensive that makes me annoyed & pity the person more then get mad. Sort of like an 13 year old spouting off bigoted insults. I usually respond to suicide notes online with sorta "If your serious you need to do this, this, and this. But if your not that's being quite immature and actually probably is symptomatic of other psychological issues. So either way you should seek professional help."

    And to the matter of comedy about death, suicide, etc. Comedy is one of -if not- the greatest cure to tragedy. Laughing in the face of darkness is one of the best ways to beat it.

    Edit: I know some people are unable to laugh at dark things; I understand that & respect their right to deal with it in their own way, but that doesn't mean you should try and stop others from dealing with it in their own way. I.e. Just because you find dark humour unfunny/offensive doesn't mean, people shouldn't have the right to say that. That being said it is still a good idea to be courteous & empathetic to others, but this is Iwaku which is know for its humour; and pretty sarcastic/dark/insane humour at that. But to make something clear; if someone is offended by me writing in support of dark humour I'm sorry if your offending you; that wasn't my intention.
    #14 Lysander, Jan 9, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2015
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  15. You know, while I agree that joking about suicide isn't something that strikes me as a very laughable subjects (I'm a bit swayed on this because of a recent personal experience, I've never learned how to really laugh at it), after reading and really, really giving it some thought, I have to actually agree with that death hits people differently, and thus many people deal with it differently. Making light of what is perceived as such a dark thing might actually be their way of honouring the lost. People who struggle with depression know what it is like to be stuck in that dark place where all hope seems out of the question, and sometimes people don't come out of that darkness, but those who they left behind turn on the light that person couldn't so that they might honour and cherish who they knew and the happiness that they wished on the lost.

    Getting to the fake deaths and false suicide notes, I have to say that those people in themselves really should seek help if they are willing to do that. People who have to do that aren't happy or very confident people because they need that drama in their lives to feel alive. They need other people to react badly to them in order to feel worth something, and that in itself spells out a book of troubles. I personally really find it sad whenever we run into people like this, though it is frustrating to deal with when you go out of your way to try and help that person to the best of your abilities just to find out that they lied.
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  16. Wait what, there's reported cases of suicide threats on Iwaku? I've experienced this a few times before elsewhere, some of them rather personal (one guy saying that me telling him I didn't enjoy roleplaying with them would push them over the edge) but fuck. I was sorta hoping that didn't happen here. Is it more common in 1x1 or libertine environments, per chance? I don't need names or examples, but I am sorta curious.

    On-topic, for members who do encounter suicide threats and notes; please do not take this personally. Someone is most likely trying to guilt-trip you. Do not respond to them. You are not responsible. If your conscience will absolutely not allow that, limit your reply to suggesting they seek professional help. Do not get involved. If someone is trying to guilt you into doing something, that is no different from abuse. It is either a form of manipulation, or you're dealing with a genuinely unstable person, which is most likely not something you're equipped to deal with. Do make sure to inform administration because, especially if this is a recurring behaviour, such acts are detrimental to a community.

    Though I do want to point out a certain distinction. Counselling has quite a few topics that address depression. It is okay to post negative feelings and ask for advice, just not to burden another person with the responsibility for your health and safety.

    The ability to laugh at suicide jokes has enhanced my ability to deal with the subject. For a long time I was unable to discuss suicide, which caused me to completely shut down any conversation about it. Yet, those who get lost in misery stop searching for a way out. By being able to laugh at the absurdities, you allow yourself a method of detachment. Laughter is essential for both the victim and those who come to their aid. Laughter allows, however temporary, a different perspective, which is I personally consider valuable beyond description.
    #16 Kestrel, Jan 10, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2015
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  17. I agree with this PSA. I suffer from depression and anxiety but I know well enough that it isn't a good idea to post suicide notes and crap on here because it is a waste of time and just a way to get attention. I will be the first to admit I tried something like that before but I said to one of the admins that messaged me, I think it was you Diana, that I said I wouldn't do it again. And I will say this. I am one of those people who someone can go to if they need to talk or whatever because my ears are always open and I enjoy helping people and sometimes, in most cases, the people I help end up being one of my best friends because they know they can trust me and know that I won't try to belittle them or anything. Thanks Diana for posting this PSA.
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  18. Ah, a PSA about suicide, in which people show up to make suicide jokes, get offended by suicide jokes, and talk about how crazy suicidal they are and how they're more crazy suicidal than other crazy suicidals.

    We need a PSA about Suicide PSAs.
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  19. I stated this in my post? O.o
  20. I think we need a PSA about Asmo and how not to get mad about his posts.
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