Hello, citizens! Be not afraid. I'm Ozzie. Ignore the blue name. I'm a regular average dude, looking for regular average roleplay. It's been a while since I looked for new one-on-one partners, but I figure it's time to get back on the horse. Lemme tell you a little about myself. I Like to Play: Guys (But Occasionally Gals) Any Sexual Orientation Bodyguards Single Dads Mentor Figures Multiple Love Interests for Your Character Antiheroes/Villains/Jerks With Hearts of Gold Doctor/Healer Types Double Reverse Quadruple Agents Nerds Wizards Werewolves Serial Killers The Game Master/Mastermind of the Setting and Plot I Like When You Play: Gals OR Guys Assertive Personalities Supernatural Creatures Goofballs Badasses Badass Goofballs By Actively Contributing Ideas to the Plot My Plot Candies Include: Scary Shit Developed World Building Folklore/Mythology/Theology Love Triangles Resolving Love Triangles by Everyone Winning Intrigue Mystery Arranged Marriage Twisty, Twisty Plots Humor Traumatic Pasts Fractured or Updated Fairy Tales Childhood Friends Exploring Character Relationships, Romantic or Otherwise If You Play Your Cards Right, I'll Do: Dumb Anime Shit Like Catboys Teen Hijinks Harry Potter Genderbending/Crossdressing All Kinds of Bullshit No Way In Hell Will I: Rape Your Character Use the Words Yaoi or Yuri (They're Gay or Lesbian) Read Ten Paragraphs About Your Character Doing Something When Three Would Suffice Play Your Dad if It's About Sex Tolerate Passive Partners Who Expect Me to Do Everything Smut With Characters Younger Than 16 (Even Then, 18+ Is Preferred) Post Every Day (Sometimes Not Even Every Week) Write Porn Without Plot Smut With You Without Knowing You for a While First What My Posts Will Look Like: Sample 1 (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Sample 1 (open) Sample 1 (close) The procession of princesses on Friday afternoon had been the last straw. "Your Majesty," Wentworth had begun, for the fifty-fourth time that week, "you really ought to be thinking about these things. You won't be a young man much longer, and the future of the kingdom depends upon you providing an heir." "Wentworth, I'm twenty-five," Roland had pointed out sharply, tugging the equally sharp point of his sword out from the practice dummy's chest. "I turned twenty-five last month." The Castle Steward remained unfazed, stubbornly lifting his grizzled chin. "Precisely, Your Majesty. Why, when your father was twenty-five-" "Yes, yes, I know. He'd already overthrown a tyrant, captured the heart of a princess, and I was on the way. And look what good it did him. He and mother both succumbed to Dragon Flu by the time I was ten. And anyway, Wentworth, as you are so fond of pointing out... I'm not my father." The man went on as if Roland had never spoken. "I've arranged for several very likely candidates to grace us with their presence this afternoon. If Your Majesty would please, they will be arriving just in time for tea in the rose garden." Roland's jaw slackened, and he turned to stare at his steward- the man who had been his only true parental figure for the last fifteen years- in abject horror. "Tea," he repeated, sheathing his sword. "In the rose garden. Today. With princesses. Plural." "You cannot expect to simply go gallivanting about the kingdom however you please for the rest of your life, Sire. You must begin to think of your duty and responsibility to the throne you sit upon." That was quite a stretch, in Roland's opinion. He would hardly call the occasional stroll or fencing session that he managed to get away from his advisers for "gallivanting about". The last time Roland had been more than a mile away from the castle, he'd been on a diplomatic visit and buried in paperwork and court "pleasantries" the entire time. He could scarcely breathe, let alone gallivant anywhere. And that, really, was the crux of it, more so than not wanting to marry some twitter-patted, dimwitted, mincing princess. He didn't really know whether he wanted to get married at all, and he certainly would rather marry a woman with a brain, if not for love... but really, Roland wanted to get out of the drudgery and bullshit of court life and politics and actually live his own life for once. He wanted adventure. He wanted to see the kingdom that he was supposed to be ruling. He wanted to be something other than, well... a king. He wanted to learn magic. There was a tower that could be seen from the ramparts of his castle, and Roland knew- everyone knew- that this was where the great wizard Egon dwelt. Building a tower that could be seen for miles was sort of an odd thing to do when you wanted to discourage visitors, but Roland supposed that the trials of the surrounding enchanted forest helped keep unwanted quest-goers at bay. It certainly did a good job of getting him hopelessly lost. It was a shame that maps were utterly useless when the trees didn't stay in one place. Sample 2 (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Sample 2 (open) Sample 2 (close) "Crap, crap, crap!" Knucker Polk swore under his breath, hopping up and down on one foot as he tried to free himself from the fence without ripping a huge hole in his jeans. Of course, he was really thinking something more like shit, shit, shit, but growing up with a swear jar and a small-town Sheriff for your dad, well, that sorta did things to a person. Not that that was important. What was important was that he was stuck to a freaking (fucking) fence. Lexi was going to strangle him. Maybe some guys wouldn't be afraid of a girl beating them up. But those guys weren't best (well, only) friends with Lexi Ryan. Sure, Knucker was taller; he was a guy; he was probably physically stronger than she was. But that wasn't accounting for the pure psychological element of trying to fend off the girl who'd been dragging you around since you were still wetting the bed. Which screw you (assholes), hadn't happened since he was six, no matter what Margrit Berkshire and Owen DeWhitt had told everyone in homeroom last year. Speaking of Silent Pines High School's It Crowd, Knucker wasn't quite as keen on this whole crashing-their-party thing as Lexi was. Knucker and Lexi weren't what you'd call... cool. In fact, it was pretty much the opposite. Which Knucker was just fine with, personally. Since when did they need anyone but the two of them? ...Since Lexi had gotten it into her head that she needed to make a statement in her senior year, he guessed. If it had been anyone else, Knucker would have stayed out of it, but this was Lexi. There was no chance in heck (Hell) that he wasn't going to be right there with her every step of the way. Even if it meant making a complete doofus of himself at this party. Which was probably what was going to happen. He hadn't even gotten there and he'd already stumbled his way into a bully's wet dream. ...Man, he really hated the way his brain chose to phrase things sometimes. One last determined jerk of his leg and- with a slow-dawning horror- he heard the denim peel apart with a ripping noise straight out of a freaking (fucking, again) cartoon. Awesome. Welp. This is why they invented cell phones. Ruefully, he skimmed the text that Lexi had sent while he'd been playing Fence Hopscotch before firing one back. Sorry Lexi Im a little stuck, where are you now? Sample 3 (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Sample 3 (open) Sample 3 (close) Saul tried to answer him, but found that his mouth simply wouldn't work the way it was supposed to. He had never been lucky in love before Alter had come crashing into his life like a freight train. He’d had a string of one-sided and meaningless boyfriends in college- the worst being that professor with the false promises of leaving his wife. And then along came Susannah, who'd slipped a leash about his neck and deceived him at every turn. Saul wasn't blind; he’d known that he'd turned out jaded and crotchety and more than a little damaged by his previous relationships. What he hadn’t realized until now- not really- was that something had died inside of him and left a void... a void which festered, allowing something unpleasant to grow in its place. Saul hadn’t been a whole person since the day Susannah left him. Sure, Alter had coaxed him back into a semblance of wholeness... but there had still been something lacking. He’d been half-aware, stumbling through a dream. Now Saul felt painfully, astonishingly awake. His hands shook with the force of it. “No,” he finally breathed raggedly- really breathed, instead of whatever it was he’d been doing all these years. “No, it’s not soon enough.” That was when he kissed him, properly, the way he was starting to think he'd never been capable of kissing him until this very moment. Post length may vary. I prioritize CONTENT over length. A Few Suggested Plots From the Plot Hat: [NOIR with SOME KIND OF WEIRD MAGIC/SUPERNATURAL/PARANORMAL SHIT] Rival detectives teaming up or a private detective agency hires an assistant. The detective agency doesn't deal with "normal" clientele. Preferably played a little wacky. [FANTASY/APOCALYPTIC] Post-apocalyptic far-future setting where society has collapsed and the world has turned slightly fantasy. Some kind of weird disease is killing everyone off. Our characters are going to be sacrificed by the superstitious village folk but they escape. When they get back to town, it's been obliterated. They set out to either find a new place to live or to uncover the source of the sickness. [FANTASY] Woman dresses as man to become a knight/guard. The princess she's assigned to protect is actually a prince in disguise. (Maybe to protect him from being seen as a political threat or to thwart a curse?) [HORROR MAYBE? DARK STUFF] Your character and mine were next-door neighbors as kids; mine was a few years older and babysat yours. Your characters' parents were abusive and one murdered the other. Our characters were in the house and together when it happened. After the murder your character was sent to live with relatives. They meet up again as adults. Possible weird shit happens. At the very least they have unresolved issues. [HISTORICAL] Regency Era society fun time. Think Jane Austen. [SPACE OPERA] Militaristic far-future sci-fi setting where space has been colonized. My character is put in command of a diplomatic military vessel. He also happens to be the son of a notorious warlord. Space drama ensues. Think Babylon 5. [HORROR] Small town in the country with secrets and murder. Psychic detective goes to investigate. Weird shit happens. [ASSORTED GENRES, but PROBABLY MODERN] Childhood friends. One finds out the other is a crossdresser/trans/gay. Awkwardness and romantic comedy hijinks ensue. [MODERN] As part of a college course on Human Sexuality, our characters are assigned to pretend to date each other (minus the actual physical intimacy) as a class project. Start liking each other. Further complications such as one or both already having real significant others would be wonderful. [SCIFI] You know Bioshock Infinite? Basically that. [MODERN] Something something lawyers something something demons. [WHAT, YOU WANT MORE? THAT'S ALMOST A DOZEN. WHERE ARE YOUR SUGGESTIONS?] Please reply with your interest. IF I AM CURRENTLY PLAYING/PLOTTING A ONE-ON-ONE WITH YOU, DO NOT REPLY. I already love you and want to play with you! >:[ This is an ad for new partners.