Prologue to a Story I'm Writing

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Fate, May 22, 2012.

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  1. So, okay. This is the prologue to a story that I am currently writing called Darkness Rising. So far I have already had a couple of people read it and they said it was rather good. What I want to know now is what everyone else thinks about it and if is still needs any work. So please read it and tell me what your thoughts are once you have read it.

    Prologue 305 N.E. (New Era)

    The sounds of armored footsteps echoed throughout the stone hallway as a man dressed in black armor made his way toward the large oaken doors at the end of the long, narrow hallway.

    Behind the black armored man walked a large group of soldiers also wearing black armor, but theirs was not a regal or as sinister looking. Each one held either a sword, spear, or lance.

    Two of the soldiers ran ahead of the rest of the group. Once they reached the end of the hallway one grabbed a hold of the door handle on the right side of the door and the other grabbed the left. As their leader drew nearer, they opened the doors.

    The room beyond was extraordinarily large. Tapestries and paintings decorated the walls. Stained glass windows, depicting the lives of the previous rulers of the country known as Saron, could be found along the wall near the ceiling and on the far wall. A large red carpet ran from the doors to the other end of the room where two large, stone thrones sat.

    Upon the slightly larger throne sat a man with blond hair and brown eyes. He wore richly colored clothing and a golden crown upon his head.

    Next to him, on the second throne, sat a woman with brown hair and green eyes. Her clothing was equally as rich looking as the man’s. A silver crown adorned her head. The rounding of her waist and stomach was a clear indication that she was pregnant.

    Above the two members of the royal house hung a beautifully embroidered tapestry depicting the royal crest, which was a shield centered between two rearing lions in shades of red, white, and black threads.

    Another group of soldiers, although they were dressed in silver armor instead of black, stood in a defensive position around their King and Queen.

    The leader of the men dressed in black armor smirked at the scene before him. He gave a mock bow. “It is a pleasure to meet you at last, your Majesties. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Gilgamesh.”

    “We know who you are. There is not a person alive who does not know who you are and what you have done.” The King replied his voice nearly as cold as ice. “We also know that you did not come here just for a chat over afternoon tea.”

    Gilgamesh’s smirk was replaced by what resembled a frown. “Now that doesn’t seem like the proper way to treat a guest. I merely wish to talk.”

    “Is that what you told my ancestor, King Maximilian, before you killed him? I am not as stupid as you think I am. I am fully aware that all you want is the throne I sit upon and the crown that rests upon my head.”

    “And here I thought you were nothing but a brainless puppet controlled by your so-called advisor, just like your ancestor. I guess I was wrong.” With every word that left his lips, Gilgamesh’s voice grew colder and darker. “You leave me no choice then. As a threat to by plan you must die.” He then raised his right hand toward the knights that guarded the King and Queen. “Be gone pests.”

    Darkness erupted from beneath the guards’ feet and then latched onto their limbs. They were then dragged into the pool of darkness. Their screams ending as their bodies became fully submerged. The darkness then disappeared once they all had been pulled in.

    “Pathetic.” Gilgamesh spat out. He then turned his attention back to the royal couple. “Now that that’s out of the way, why don’t we get onto the main event?”

    “Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend.” The Queen stated while she went and stood by her husband.

    The man, who many referred to as the Emperor of Darkness and who had been making his way toward the two, froze mid-step. “What?” He hissed.

    “My wife is correct.” The King said, a small smile forming on his face. “Goodbye. It was such a pleasure to meet you.”

    The sound of breaking glass echoed throughout the air and the rulers of Saron disappeared into thin air.

    Gilgamesh ran toward the now empty thrones only to see the remains of two crystalline objects sitting upon them. “HoloCrystals?!” He turned to his guard. “Find them! Now! They cannot escape!”

    The black armored soldiers ran from the room so that they could complete the task given to them by their master. As the last one exited, two men entered the room.

    The first of the two was a man dressed in a complete set of black and red armor. His helmet was as dark and sinister looking as the rest of the armor he wore. His dark red eyes, which shone through the slit in his helmet, only served as a way to further impose his dark appearance. A broadsword hung from his back.

    The second man appeared to be in his late fifties with grey hair and grey eyes. Unlike the other members of Gilgamesh’s army, he wore a black robe with purple trimming instead of armor.

    “Julius, Nicolai, you had better have good news for me.” Gilgamesh stated, his voice threatening.

    Julius was the first to respond. “The enemy forces have been destroyed and the city is now under your control, my Lord.”

    “Good work. Now go and rally the troops. I wish to speak to them.”

    “At once, my Lord.” Julius declared before quickly leaving the room.

    Once he was gone, Nicolai made his way over to the thrones.

    “I have heard that the King and Queen have fled. Might I be as bold as to ask as to why you have sent your guard to capture them? Would it not be easier to just let them go? You are the ruler now, thus they are not obsolete.” The elderly man inquired while coming to a stop as he reached his master’s side.

    “Are you questioning my decisions?” The Emperor of Darkness growled.

    “Of course not, my Lord. I was merely as….Argh!” Nicolai’s sentence was cut off as Gilgamesh grabbed ahold of his neck and lifted him into the air.

    “Listen to me, boy.” He spat out. “If they escape my wrath then the citizens of this country will feel that they can do the same. In addition to that, their family is extraordinarily powerful and they could one day threaten my position and attempt to over throw me.” He then threw the grey haired man to the ground. “Now get out of my sight before I decide to remove you from my service, permanently.”

    “As you wish, my Lord.” Nicolai stammered before fleeing from the room.

    Gilgamesh sat down onto his newly acquired throne.

    “You will not escape me. I refuse to allow myself to be beaten by humans for a second time.”
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