Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by PattyPixie, Sep 9, 2010.

  1. So, while I was away, I kinda realized something about myself, which I realized, contributed a huge part as to why most of my relationships crashed and burned.

    I'm polyamorous. (Poly meaning many, Amor meaning love)
    Here's the wiki page: Polyamory

    Now, to me, it was similar to what coming out of the closet must feel like. I thought it was something wrong with me, I kept it a secret from everyone, and I still can bring it to myself to tell my parents.

    I guess it may seem like it's less serious, but I beg to differ. I got confused. Why was I feeling intense emotions for more than one guy? That's not normal. It's not the status quo. But, I couldn't just let one go. It would break my heart and his too. Therefore, I became really good at secrets and lies. At one point, I had 3 boyfriends and 2 FWBs in which none of them knew about eachother. Cuz I was scared. I didn't want to lose them, and that would be the case if I told them.

    Then I met this guy who was the same way I was. Told me what was going on and that it was okay. I wasn't this slut that had feelings. I just had a different view of what Love was and could be. When I met him, I had 2 boyfriends and a FWB. He didn't know when I started dating him and when I finally got the courage to tell him, he didn't mind. He understood. It was such a relief!

    That's when I knew. I let the two monogamists go. I couldn't handle the stress, and I knew they wouldn't understand or accept my chosen way of life. I ended up telling the FWB. He accepted it and is currently seriously thinking about polyamory.

    So theres my story. Even if it doesn't seem that intense or drama-filled. I'm just a girl. That likes to date multiple guys and probably fall in love with them equally. But, God, it feels amazing to have it off my chest. :)
  2. It's always good to be honest with yourself, and with others. In the end it will make the relationships you have last. Good luck finding those special people in your life.
  3. I have a friend that's the same way. He has/had multiple girlfriends and they were all okay with it. One of them (who happens to be like a sister to me) loved him too much though and couldn't handle it anymore. So they broke it off.

    I say there is nothing wrong with it, especially if the rest of the party is also happy with it. :)
  4. I agree it's best to be honest with yourself and your heart! Love who and how many people that your heart is honestly saying you should! And as long as everyone is ok with the situation, then I see no problem with it at all! I applaud you on your new discovery of love and wish you the best of luck!!! (mean it to, I'm literally clapping! ^.^)
  5. huh. that's cool, though i dont think I'll ever wrap my head around the concept.
  6. I'm glad you've figured it out! And I can see it being similar to coming out, it's something most people find "subversive" and "wrong" But the best way that I see your situation is like you want a buffet of love, you can have some of everything! I hope you can find some good people in your life!