Playing with Fire

"Then maybe it's up to you to change those expectations." Carina answered quietly, eyes remaining on the window to continue peering out at the kingdom in question, "If-- If anyone can do it, then it'll be you. You're the king, for God's sake. If anyone is in a position to change expectations then it's you."

Carina didn't say that he would probably receive some backlash for his change in attitude towards her. The whole time him and his people had been on the same page in terms of hating her. But once they realised he was treating her differently not just because of the baby but because of how he now felt towards her... she couldn't imagine it would go down well. However, she wasn't about to bring that up. She suspected he was already aware of such a thing.

Not to mention she didn't actually believe this change of heart would last very long.

To Carina, while it was a relief to not be at each other's throats and the idea of them being civil with one another was a dream... for her it felt like it was still just that, a dream. She envisioned his behaviour changing again, whether he meant for it to or not, once the baby was born. She imagined that the new-found feelings he apparently had were just redirected emotion toward the baby and he was mistaking them for liking her more than he wanted to. Not to mention, this could just be a side effect of him having lost everyone he once held dear, and now he was clutching at straws.

Licking her lower lip, she reluctantly turned her head back to look at him, her expression neutral but there was a quizzical gleam to her eye that she couldn't mask.

"This image you've curated... do you really like it? You can be a strong leader without being cruel and heavy-handed, Sven. Your image is going to start crumbling the moment word gets out that we're being.... being nice... to one another. You might as well start painting a new portrait of yourself to them now. Besides, think of all the people who didn't like the way you ruled before: who were miserable at being berated and belittled... think of all those people you'd win over if you just... just changed your ways a little."

From there she fell silent, uncertain as to how her little speech would be received. Even with him having said he wanted to try and make things work between them... she didn't know how much of that was truly real, despite all his desperate attempts to get her to believe him. However, her hand slipped up a little higher on her belly, lips parting quietly and eyes dropping to the spot.

She hesitated, but then her eyes moved up to him, "Come-- come here..." She murmured, motioning him with hurried hand movements as the one remained on the spot, "You... you should feel them moving."
 
"...The people who may be disheartened at me replicating certain... tendencies from my father aren't the people that hold the power in this kingdom, Carina. They're a minority who are all but inconsequential in the grand scheme of things; just ordinary people going on with their lives. The majority actively encourage the sort of behaviour popularised by my father, but that has been exhibited by every King of Ignis that sat on the throne. I... I'm sure a certain population here would welcome a change, but the people that... hold power and could remove me if they focused that power together are the ones I need to keep on side," he reminded, a tense smile crossing his face - not at the fact she thought he could change things up without consequences (he found the belief rather charming, in fact) but because the more he talked about it, the further he came to realise and confound his fate.

He would never be a diplomatic leader whose beliefs were entirely altruistic. He might not be the brute his father was, and he might be displaying more gentler tendencies around Carina especially, but he was still Sven. He was still sadistic, still selfish, still smug and sarcastic. Those were qualities that would never change and influence the sort of King he would be regardless of anything else. It was just becoming a tragedy that he also couldn't be the leader he felt the kingdom needed; move away from the debauchery that was perceived to occur at the helm and show that he could be a good King without being a drunken brute who partied with grand feasts each night.

He wanted to further Ignis' reach in the world, his eyes already set on a fishing town up north - the docks there would be beneficial in the transportation of goods and weapons when the Ignisian territory grew, after all. The desire for conquest and the power that brought was a quality all Kings of Ignis ought to possess and Sven was no different in that department, having a desire for power that was possibly stronger than his father's had been. Sven would kill to get his hands on more power, after all - he just wanted to achieve that success without being a carbon copy of his father. He wanted to plant his mark as someone different entirely; a King that ruled with certainty and strength but who paid as much interest to the inner politics of Ignis, rather than focus entirely on expanding its global reach and ignoring the citizens within the kingdom.

He didn't care about those outside Ignis, but he cared deeply about his people - and it incensed him that his father hadn't cared to better their lives but was revered as a hero, while he personally sought to improve their conditions but was generally deemed incapable of reaching the heights his father had. How could he change things up on a personal level, be the King he wanted to be, if even a hint of those qualities were already causing doubt amongst the Ingisian population? They might not harbour the power to get him out themselves, but word would undoubtedly spread until it concerned those in his inner circle who could get to him before the dissatisfaction in the kingdom worsened.

" I can't create a new image, one I might be keener on presenting, without risking being killed in some coup, Carina. That's-- just how it is. I won't moan about it, I'll just... get on with things. Or they'll have me killed. They'll wait until my son or daughter is born and... and kill me. And you, probably. One of them will put themselves in charge of raising our child until they're old enough to rule, and by that time, they'll be brainwashed and end up being like my father, or my mother. I don't want that. I want anything but that. So I'll do what I need to do."

With that, he settled his eyes on the fireplace to let the silence settle comfortingly between them. He didn't want to dwell on the situation he was wrapped up in when all it did was unsettle him and cause worry to deepen, but it felt inevitable that he would be up all night with those anxieties on his brain; the realisation that he would have to conjure up an act of being a brutish, unprofessional King just to satisfy those around him.

Fortunately, he was distracted before those thoughts could wander any further. He peered across at the invitation, a brow arched in confusion. Not because he didn't understand what she was beckoning him forward for, but because... well, it didn't entirely seem like an offer she would present to him. He had humiliated her not even two days ago by forcing her to undress before him, accusing her with such ferocious anger of doing something so despicable and heartless. Why she would beckon him forward and allow him to experience something so intimate was bewildering - but he was hardly going to interrogate her when it was a chance he couldn't afford to pass up.

He almost stumbled in the eagerness to hurry across to her, his hand hesitating for a moment in slight nervousness before following her instruction and resting it as gently as he could manage on her stomach. For a moment, he kept his eyes averted away from hers, both out of awkwardness and because he knew she probably didn't like him being as close as he had to be - though his head shot back up and his eyes met hers the moment he felt movement against his palm, what felt like a small kick against it causing the man to smile. The expression was natural and unrestrained, possibly the purest emotion he had ever exhibited in his life thus far.

"...I... think I'd freak out if I was a woman and felt a baby move about me like that, it'd, uh... it must feel strange?" He questioned quietly with genuine interest. "...It's... it's amazing though. I mean, I... uh... we made a baby together, Carina. It's-- It's only really hitting me now how close we are to-- to actually meeting them; holding them. Seeing who they look more like, seeing whose powers are more dominant in them. It's-- It's all becoming so much more... real."
 
Carina had kept her eyes lowered on her stomach as he approached, trying to keep the tension in her muscles invisible and her body seemingly relaxed. The flashback of him storming toward her in the bathroom appeared in the front of her mind, but the young queen managed to suppress the flinch that threatened to show. It wasn't going to happen again, he wasn't going to charge her down or use such threatening behaviour again. At least not right now. She was still dubious that he would continue this behaviour once the baby was born, but for now she would continue to convince herself that he truly did mean what he said for the baby's sake.

She may not be certain about if he truly meant what he said about her, but if there was one thing she had learned in the months of pregnancy so far, was that he was serious about every comment and promise he made regarding their child.

"It...ah... it hurts, some-- sometimes." She confessed, keeping her eyes averted, "They-- uhm-- they enjoy moving either later in the evening or... or earlier in the morning. And-- and when I sing... I like to think they're dancing, or... or getting more comfortable for another little nap."

An embarrassing confession for her, since she knew how silly it sounded. Especially now she had said such things out loud.

Clearing her throat, she focused back onto what he said a moment ago, about his people and those in the majority. She bit at her lower lip, worrying it between her teeth as she tried to formulate her words before speaking them. Knowing she would have to be careful as to how she put them, since she knew that the minority he spoke of were actually preparing for a revolt, unknown to him.

"I-- I think you... underestimate the few. The-- the thing is with a minority is that they can become a majority in a matter of moments. If-- you underestimate them... you underestimate them too much and it becomes dangerous."

Pausing, she moved her eyes to the crumpets on the tray, hesitating before reaching out to take one. Having a bite, she used the time chewing to think of her next set of words.

"The-- the thing with a majority, Sven, is that they... they will always believe they will have the power. You could do everything they ask of you, you could complete every challenge they set in front of you and... and they will still find a way to... to... belittle you." At this point she wasn't sure if she was speaking from her experience in Ignis, or because it was how she viewed things, "If you appeal to that minority, they could simply be grateful that you're looking to change."

Her eyes remained on the crumpet in hand, a sudden interest in the holes in the piece of food, "You could begin in subtle ways... ways in which the majority may not even realise what you've done. Instead of a violent take overs, negotiate trade deals. Instead of immediate death sentences, bring in... bring in fair trials."

Her eyes finally rose to his, hand holding the crumpet lowering until her wrist balanced on her stomach to keep the greasy butter from staining her nightwear.

"If you don't want our child to end up like your mother or your father, you need to be the change you want to see. You need to... pave the way for them to be able to live their life the way you want them too. If you want our daughter to train in warfare and weaponry, if you want our son to paint and play music without being judged, you need to be the one to make it be a normal occurrence, rather than something that needs to be hidden. The... the only way to do that, is the be the first man through the wall. It'll hurt, it-- I can't lie about that. But it's the only way." She hesitated, eyes darting away again before adding: "And-- and I'll... I'll be there to help you do it."
 
Having preferred to focus entirely on the discussion of their child, given the guarantee that it would probably evoke happier emotions in them and lighten the atmosphere a touch, the return to conversing about the options he had as King, how to rule and who he ought to appeal to and please hardly went down well. He found himself frowning - and then getting annoyed at himself for the frown's presence when it wasn't a moment he wanted to remember being grumpy about.

This was a moment he wanted to remember fondly; to look back at the time he felt his child move in the womb with nothing but pride. Instead, the conversation muddied the moment and conflicted his emotions. He didn't necessarily blame Carina for that when she had a justifiable reason to be concerned over how he would continue to lead the kingdom she was ultimately a part of, and how that might affect the mood he displayed to her and the child they would bring into the world; he just resented the fact it had to be a conversation they had to have now, when he preferred to focus on the joy the child was bringing to them both.

Retreating back from her and setting his hands back at his sides, he leaned against the space beside the window to set his gaze upon the scenery beyond it, doing his best to focus his mind when he felt a sudden surge of suspicion hit him at her words. He didn't want to cast those aspersions upon her when it was the height of hypocrisy - he was pleading with her to instil some trust in him, so he could hardly dismiss that sacrifice and immediately doubt her now.

Why she would ever choose to offer him advice that would benefit him was beyond him, and thus stirred his suspicions of her. How could he be certain that she wasn't deliberately seeking to sabotage him? She could claim she would have his back if he did start to present a fairer vision for his society - he could have fair trials and still viciously punish those that were found guilty in whatever depraved, torturous way that came to mind. He could have the best of both worlds: win himself supporters for a fair, just system and still satisfy the sadistic streak and love of violence he would always possess. It would inevitably irk the inner circle of his father's old allies, but he could see it through if he won people in the kingdom on board and had the support of Carina.

But he couldn't guarantee she would support him, of course. He couldn't guarantee with certainty that she wouldn't just abandon him and watch with amusement as his inner circle started to seek to cut him out of the picture entirely before his ideas of a fairer system that benefited the many, not just the few, grew any further.

"...I don't negotiate; I takeover. That's what we do here. We don't sit down and discuss trade; we act and take lands over. That's what's expected of me. I can't imagine the outcry if... if I ever sat at a table with another kingdom and discussed trade civilly, Carina. I-I'd be a laughing stock to my people and I... I only care about them. I-- I've been planning a takeover of Hullbury, the fishing land up north. Plans are set in motion for the conquest. I've planned it for months with my father's old friends; my inner circle," he revealed quietly as he sunk back onto the armchair. Never would he have dreamt of revealing information regarding his plans to anyone outside of the room they had taken place in, let alone to Carina of all people.

Yet here he was.

"I can't go back on those plans and reach out to the Duke overseeing the running of Hullbury without really pissing off all my father's allies; the men whose support could make or break me. I also can't just... pull out one of my paintings and hang it up on the wall proudly without being ridiculed. But theoretically, if I... did decide to... to do those things, would you honestly support me? Because I... I will trust you're being genuine if you promise to support me when the times comes for it, Carina. If I'm asking you to trust me, then I'll trust you on this too; it's only fair that the trust goes both ways, right?"
 
"Yes, I'm fully aware you don't negotiate." Carina couldn't help but utter, crumpet being lowered back onto the plate and napkin squeezed between fingers to remove the grease. It was an unnecessary comment, but one she couldn't help but make nonetheless. "It's funny... I never ever thought I would see you be too afraid to act against what others wanted." She then mused, not a comment made out of spite, for a change but rather just a confession. "I... after finding out that the murder of your parents was what you wanted... and the way things were after that... I always thought you'd just... take what you wanted. That you didn't care about who you upset or who you stepped on to get it."

Clearly that wasn't the case, at least when it came to the men he clearly thought he needed as his support. Clearly it was just with her that he argued with, disagreed with, fought with.

"You don't know if you would be a laughing stock to your people. Just... just think - who do you send to fight in the wars you cause because of your desire to conquer? The armies you create to send to these lands - into Eira, into Harenae - they are made up of the fathers, mothers, children of your people. Do you not think that they would appreciate it if you could find another solution, to bring the same benefits to Ignis... just with less death?"

She then looked down at her bump, hand quietly stroking over the top of it in a soothing matter. "I know I would much prefer any child of ours to be sat at a table negotiating and listening, rather than potentially laying dead on a muddy, bloodied battlefield."

Her tongue pushed out to sweep over her lips, which pursed as she fought back a wave of emotion at such a dark thought. Clearing her throat, Carina raised her head and gaze to watch him fall into the armchair.

"Those men are exactly as you described them: your father's friends. Old, dithering fools who have had a taste for blood and are too stuck in the old ways of life. You will never be able to be the king you want to be when you are stuck bowing to their every whim and desire. From how you speak, it is them who runs Ignis, not you."

She knew her words were a little harsh, but after such a thought of their child potentially having to go out into a war created by him because he didn't want to sit with another kingdom and just talk... it was enough to light a fire in her belly.

However those flames weakened slightly at his next question. About if she would truly support him. Her lips slowly closed, briefly caught out by him once more asking her to trust him and his condition to trusting her. It was still bewildering, this change of heart, and it was times like this that she remembered that they hadn't been how they were now the entire time.

"I... I will. Support you. But... but know, Sven, the moment I find out if you're making a fool out of me or you've manipulated me yet again will be the moment any chance of us being civil dies."
 
Her words were harsh, and the man found himself glaring across at her in annoyance. There was no threat of that explosive anger that she had been unfortunate to witness a few days prior, and no threat of any anger showing itself to the surface at all; he was just annoyed and irritated by the words and how they made him feel. He had no doubt that the way he was acting towards her now, void of all slyness and manipulation, was probably the sort of person she wished he had been from the start. Someone who considered how others felt and who at least contemplated the consequences of his actions on others instead of storming ahead with what he wanted because that was all that mattered; not who got hurt in the process of acquiring what he felt he deserved.

He would play out the situation with his parents the exact same way all over again if he could, without changing a single thing. He wanted them dead but having them gone without getting his hands dirty in the process and being deemed a traitor by those in the inner circle who harboured power and influence in the kingdom was a stroke of genius, even if he admitted to to himself. He still smiled about the incident whenever it crossed his mind, seeing it as a masterstroke, a culmination of his manipulative techniques paying dividends; a moment in his life where he felt he was at the top of his game and capable of taking on entire kingdoms, leading armies into battle and reaping the rewards for every victory he picked up along the way.

...Now he felt weak, vulnerable and, frankly, sort of pathetic; a far cry away from the power he felt he had exhibited that night. As the months passed, he had felt it dwindle, whether it was because of the increasing feelings he was developing for Carina, the desire to be a better father than his own had been and create a future for his offspring that wasn't as restrictive or just because he was becoming acutely aware of the fact his hands were tied by his inner circle who expected to influence his decisions despite him being the King... he didn't know what the cause was. It was probably a combination of all of them together that had resulted in the change of heart and emotional maturity.

It was, on the whole, a good thing. A King who had his citizens' best interests at heart was a better King than one who guzzled beer nightly and acted selfishly with no consideration for anyone else, but how could he believe that when he felt as pathetic as he did? As though a return to the way he had acted in the past would be more beneficial to him than having some abrupt change of heart that included risking his throne and the support of his inner circle just to appeal to the commoners in the kingdom; people his father had never truly cared about but who had supported and cheered him vociferously?

Why make a large effort to appeal to making their lives better when he could win their support like his father had done and simultaneously feel like he was a proper King again; not some emotional mess who had spent the past few days crying like a child?

"They-- They do not fucking rule Ignis; I am the King. I rule this kingdom. They advise but they do not have power over me, don't insinuate that they do. I do as I wish and maybe I desire to conquer kingdoms violently. Maybe I dream of harbouring that power, Carina. Perhaps I enjoy the vision of ransacking some poor fishing village just for the sheer hell of it. That's-- me; that's what I enjoy. I like power and I'll do whatever I want to get my hands on more of it. That's... what I do. I'm not different from my father's friends; we have the same mutual desires. The old ways have worked for centuries, I see no need in uprooting them for-- for what? Support from a small minority of utterly inconsequential peasants? I don't need them."

He snorted under his breath once more as he rested his head on his enclosed fist, the other outstretched on the arm of the chair and tapping gently against the wood at the end. He could spit furiously about how desperate he was for power and how he would do whatever he needed to to achieve it, no matter who got hurt in the process, but his voice would never sound convincing; his tone had been shaky and inconsistent, the look in his eyes unconvincing and vulnerable.

He didn't want to be part of the old ways, even if the anxiety that had appeared told him that he had to be if he wanted to continue feeling powerful, and thus, the sort of King he had envisioned himself being growing up.

"I can't... talk about this anymore, it exhausts me. I want to feel like myself again, I want to feel like I can take on the world. I don't want to feel so fucking tired all the time. I'm fed up of crying, Carina. I'm fed up of feeling so pathetic that I can't even stand up to a bunch of old fools. The past me, the one you met that night when my parents died... I would have burned these old men alive and smirked as they screamed in agony. I-I'd have just got rid of them and manipulated my way through the consequences to come out unscathed. Look at me now-- getting drunk and crying into my fucking pillow because I can't risk upsetting them and dread the consequences of not meeting their expectations o-of me, even if I... I don't want to be the person they want me to be, not when it makes me feel like my father and-- and I don't want to be compared to that man. I-It's pathetic. I just w-want to be myself again, be who I was months ago. That person would have this all sorted by now."
 
Carina paused, watching him, simply sitting in the bed and watching him. She had no interest in interrupting his tirade of words that spoke of how he desired power and what he would do to get it. Not when the emotion in his eyes and his voice spoke of something else. She was beginning to wonder if speaking to him softly, coaxing him into doing what they both knew to be the right thing was the correct way to go about things. He may be a little softer than before, but if this reaction was anything to go by, being gentle was not the way to evoke a reaction from him.

As he laid out his confession of how he had changed, she carefully and awkwardly pulled herself out of her bed. The hem of her nightgown dropped until it brushed the tops of her feet, the length of it having changed since the shorter ones no longer fitted her. She walked across to him, one hand on the side of her swollen belly and the other brushing fingers through her hair until it laid over the one shoulder.

Upon reaching him, she waited until he was finished speaking, allowing the words to die on the air and the silence to linger for a moment. Then she reached out to take hold of his chin, her grasp gentle yet firm as she turned his head to look up at her.

"This is you, Sven. Whether you like it or not, this version of you has always been lingering beneath the surface. You just weren't aware of it before because you were so blinded by the power you sought after. You were so blinded by your hatred and so blinkered by revenge that all you wanted to focus on were winning the crown and taking control."

Before she would never have dared approach him in such a manner, not after his scowl of irritation and not after the speech he had made about being violent and doing what he wished with his powers. But things were different now.

"That person would have sorted it all out by now, maybe, yes. But we can never know for sure. That person also would have killed Natalia for what she had done to him. That person also would never have considered apologising to me for what he had done. That person wouldn't be the one I'd be promising to support."

She swallowed hard, pausing as her eyes averted and then returned to his, "With each village and town and kingdom you ransack and pillage and murder within, you make more enemies, Sven. Do you really want the survivors to band together one day and rain hell down on you? Perhaps it might not even be you. Maybe they won't be strong enough to attack in your life time, but what of our child? What if they seek vengeance for something you caused, and bring it to the doorstep of our child?" She questioned softly, eyes searching his. Eventually her hand dropped from his chin and she took a step back.

"I've always thought that... a monarch who is loved will always stand a better chance of surviving rather than one who is feared. Love... love is the only thing, in my opinion that would trump fear. Even without my powers, I would die protecting our child before allowing them to be taken from me. Why can't that be the same with your people and you? Why... why can't you just... try?"
 
If there was any further evidence needed to show that there had been a considerable change in the man, the fact he hadn't viciously reacted to Carina taking his chin in the manner she did was it. Rather than visibly recoil at her touch and snap all sorts of vitriol at her for daring to even stand so close to him, he allowed his head to be tilted up and remained obligingly quiet as she offered him advice. Perhaps it was advice that sought to tear him down; words made from a dark place and borne with the intent of seeking her revenge on him. Maybe the tables had turned and she was manipulating him, lulling him into sabotaging himself by convincing him that her words were nothing more than genuine advice he ought to follow - for the good of their child, if nothing else.

Though he didn't believe them to be cruel or bestowed with an ulterior motive. Such suspicions had crossed his mind not even five minutes prior, but the intensity behind her eyes and the firmness to her touch couldn't be falsified so expertly. He knew that she was telling the truth, despite every justification she had for wanting to drag him down and have him end up killed by the inner circle of men who held such influence in Ignis. He could believe that she was setting him up for that failure but, instinctively, he knew every word she uttered was, simply, the truth.

He still felt that he had drifted away from the person he had been months ago, before he was King... but he was at least now willing to accept that those changes might not be an entirely bad thing. He had been naive and too power-hungry to realise that his ideals weren't his. They were merely the result of growing up observing his father and his father's friends, witnessing how they acted. It had warped his belief of what a King ought to be and how a King ought to act - and the indoctrination he had undergone throughout his education into believing that a ruler of Ignis had to rule relentlessly with an iron fist hardly helped matters either.

His parents had died and he had grown up, become King and, for the first time, started developing ideas without looking to his father to determine whether his ideas were a good fit or not for Ignis. His father had always been the barometer for success - if Sven had an idea, he would always think whether his father would go through with it, and if he wouldn't, then he would let the idea die. Only when he became King himself did he realise that the ideas he had didn't have to got through such a process, and so, the opportunity for the person that had been lingering beneath the surface for so long was set into motion. Or it would have done, had he not chickened out and continued to look to the inner circle as a barometer for the success of his ideas like he had done his father. Rather than take control and realise he had the chance to make a change with his own original ideas, he backed down (out of fear, mostly) and fell back on old habits.

Without Carina urging him forward, he wouldn't have realised how much of an idiot he was being; how weak his actions could be perceived to be.

"I should have hired you as an adviser; you're doing a better job than Natalia ever did," he eventually muttered with a faint smile, responding to the advice and the encouragement in the manner it was intended. It had instilled him a renewed optimism; a desire to do the right thing for once during his reign - to be the sort of King he had always had the possibility to be. It just took some bravery to step out of the corner he had been forced into and pave a future for Ignis that could benefit the people he cared about; give his son or daughter a chance to rule in a land that would appreciate them as they truly were, not a facade they felt forced to be.

"I have a meeting with my father's friends tomorrow regarding the takeover of Hullbury. We planned to attack in three months' time, to give us time to mobilise the army and collect weaponry from Harenae's shores. Would-- you come to the meeting with me? You said you'd support me when the time came and-- that time is tomorrow. I'll tell them they can fuck off; that I don't want to conquer Hullbury. I'm the King; you're my Queen. I think we should have the final word on the politics of our own fucking kingdom," he nodded with a firmness that had been missing from his demeanour for a long time - it certainly hadn't been present throughout his time in her company that night.

"...A Queen has never actually been present at a meeting with their King, so that'll piss them off even before a word has been uttered, but I want you there. I... need you there, at my side."
 
"You... what?"

Carina was stunned by his request, unable to keep the emotion from her face as she blinked at him. Of course she never expected her advice to be listened to, she had expected him to simply give a few words back either in excuse or to bring an end to the conversation. Never did she believe that he would heed it. She had spoken freely because, for the first time, she hadn't felt like she would be ridiculed for what she said. She didn't feel as though her opinions would be laughed at.

However she didn't think he'd want her by his side at the meeting.

Her hands rubbed together out of anxious habit, considering his request. It would be an act of support, and one he clearly wanted now she said she would support him if he were to go forward with what they spoke about. However the idea of being in a room with men he himself clearly didn't think much of put her on edge. If he felt like they could kill him the moment he said something they didn't agree with... what was that to say about their feelings towards her?

But the firmness that was in his voice, the strength that had returned and the determination that gleamed in his eyes was something of a reassurance. Oddly. Carina was already confident that he wouldn't let anything happen to her or their baby, but with what she saw sparking in him now, she was more convinced than ever.

"I... of course. I'll be there," she responded, clasping hands together and resting them atop of the bump. A small smile appeared afterwards and her eyes lowered to the swell, "Although I'm not sure how much of a... force I'll look with this softening up my harder edges." She confessed lightly, peering back up at him, "A swollen, pregnant belly isn't exactly the most intimidating thing. Perhaps I ought to turn up in armour to sharpen up my image."
 
He wasn't entirely sure she would agree when it was hardly the most relaxing, stress-free of situations to willingly place herself in. He didn't want to expose her to anything that could apply unnecessarily pressure to her and their baby, but the prospect of facing the men alone would undoubtedly be a difficult one when he was already prone to bowing to pressure and going along with what they thought appropriate for a King at the Ignisian helm to embark on.

He genuinely felt like he needed her with him to remind him of the trust and belief she held for him. It bewildered him, confused him, astounded him to know that the one person who held that belief in his possibilities was the same person he had wanted to tear apart just a few months ago once her use to him had run out. Thorin and Natalia were his closest allies back then, encouraging his worst behaviours and taking pride in whatever vicious conquest he planned out, despite knowing of the consequences it would have on people in his own kingdom who would lose loved ones in a ridiculous battle that served only to boost egos.

Now, that person he had despised was the one at his side, and the ones he thought he had trusted had either lied to his face about something so precious as a pregnancy, or was secretly plotting his demise, harbouring the most murderous of intentions. It was funny how things could change, and he deeply missed the friends he had parted ways with... but he couldn't regret the course of actions over those months given it had ended with him forming a strange sort of bond with Carina. One he was cautious to say was love but couldn't deny that it could possibly develop into that at some point.

He certainly liked her enough right now for those feelings to deepen and grow over the next few weeks.

"You... don't look intimidating, no. But you don't need to look like a force to be reckoned with, Carina - your words can cut down a man twice your size. I should know. You've hurt me plenty of times with your words alone. Countless comparisons to my father tend to do the trick. So I wouldn't worry about how you physically might appear to them - if anything, they'll assume you're no threat and be caught off guard if you do let loose with your words, hm? I support you on that, by the way. Speak as freely as you wish - I'll make sure no harm comes to you or our little one."

The use of the plural, rather than the possessive, in reference to their child was a new development too, one he was aware of, but not mortified at himself for. If anything, the idea of possessively claiming his child as his and his alone was more embarrassing than rightly declaring their child as a product of them both.

"And trust me, your presence alone will be an advantage to you - they won't know how to handle it. Even my mother didn't sit in on meetings with my father; she was the Queen, it wasn't deemed her place. But we'll change that, hm? Now-- god, I've kept you up too long with my whining, huh? Get some rest, I'll... see you down for breakfast in the morning."
 
Any other time, Carina would have laughed in his face. Or she would have flat out refused. But... this wasn't any other time. This was a new chapter, for the both of them. He said he would trust her, so thus she needed to trust him. She needed to know that he wouldn't put her in harms way, at least not while she was still pregnant with his child. She had to know that whatever happened in that meeting room, he would be there to look after her and their child. Equally, she now had to prove she meant what she said, and that she would support him in whatever he choose to do (at least within reason).

She blinked at his compliment regarding the fierceness of her words, eyes quickly lowering and head bowing ever so slightly but that didn't hide the small smile that appeared on her lips. Not because he confessed they had hurt him, but because he admired the strength they could possess. Because he admitted that she could be a force to be reckoned with.

She could have brought up how much more of a force she could be if he provided her access to her powers... but she knew it was much too soon for such a conversation. Things were already progressing better than she could have ever anticipated, the last thing Carina wanted to do was spook him. Even if she truly wasn't after anything else now, even if she truly had given up in fighting just as he had.

It would be natural for him to remain a little suspicious, as she was sure she would of him. She knew there was a possibility she could walk into that meeting room tomorrow just to find out she had been manipulated and laughed out the moment she stepped foot inside. It was something she feared.

But trust. She had to trust him.

"I will try my best... but you know me, if there is anything I disagree with, I will voice my thoughts." She murmured, lifting her head up once more but the small smile still remaining. "Of course... I... I can imagine you're probably equally as keen to get an early night after... yesterday's adventures." She put delicately, taking another step back away from him, "I will... I will see you in the morning."
 
"Yesterday's adventures? You can speak honestly and bluntly - I acted like some pathetic rebellious teenager and escaped from my own home via the window to go out drinking, inevitably making a fool of myself when I returned. I'm... mortified by it but there's no point in denying it happened, nor covering it up with vague references-- I'm still sure I look a mess because my head is still pounding even after so many hours after the event itself," he snorted as he absently ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't entirely sure how to end the conversation and just turn on his heel and walk out in case it was misconstrued as rudeness - though the alternative was lingering awkwardly beside the doorway, attempting to fill the silence with a little conversation until it came to a natural end.

Realising how awkward he was making things through constant over-analysis, he rolled his eyes to himself in annoyance. It was probably a good thing that he was becoming more aware of his own behaviour and capable of amending them quickly before too much damage had been dealt, but having only recently started to display such a change left him cringing in embarrassment as he thought to all the times he hadn't been as self-aware; to the times that he had acted brutishly and not been capable of realising it at the time.

It wasn't any wonder to him that all his friends had abandoned him at this point. Natalia had been ignored and dismissed to such an extent that she resorted to such desperate measures just to win the attention of the man she loved, a man who had callously told her he loved her too just to keep her on side. Thorin had been loyal to him for years, since their childhood, and yet he had punished him so unnecessarily harshly over one single error in a career full of loyalty and respect.

It wasn't surprising that he had lost their friendships and stood no chance of gaining them back as a result of his own actions. At least now he had determined he was in the wrong and prepared to never make the same errors in judgement again - if he could help it.

"...I'll see you in the morning, yes. Tonight was... I would say enjoyable, but considering I almost broke down into tears again and needed you to firmly shake some sense into me, I think enjoyable wouldn't be the right sort of word. Though it... was; I did enjoy tonight, Carina. It was nice," he eventually managed to murmured, reaching for the door handle and taking a step out into the hallway. He glanced back just once to offer a faint smile in the dim light of the hall, taking the sight of her in for a quick second before heading down to his bedroom where he would inevitably spend the night wondering whether he was in some alternate universe.

The drastic change in atmosphere between him and Carina still shocked him even if he had come to terms with the growth of his own character and the development of feelings that had stirred within him for the woman. Both enabled him to be in her company without wanting to hurt her in any way, emotionally as well as physically... but it was such a contrast to how they had once been that he still found himself shaking his head in disbelief.

Though it wasn't unwanted. Rather, by the time he arrived at his bedroom and shut the door, Sven was smiling happily to himself in recognition of how... nice things currently were with her; a feeling he longed to maintain for the remainder of their years together.
 
Carina too was left in surprise at how the evening had gone. While she was still slightly suspicious and on edge that come tomorrow morning, he would have returned to his usual self. That nervousness would always be there until he truly did prove himself. She didn't think it was unreasonable for her to feel such a way, considering all that had happened in the past they shared. The last time she had believed him to be something else, she had been cruelly and brutally proven wrong.

The little smile he provided, as he paused in the doorway and looked back at her, bewildered her further. She quietly rubbed the bump as she watched the door click shut behind him, trying to get her head around this sudden change of heart.

She just couldn't understand what had made him finally come to his senses, or made him want to confess all to her that evening. Of course it was easy to pin it on all that had happened to him, with losing Thorin and now Natalia, finding out he was never going to be a father to two... it would be very easy to say that all those things had influenced Sven. But Carina could never know for certain. One minute she felt as though she knew his motives, and then the next... she was left reeling.

However, much like Sven, she couldn't help the small smile of her own that had formed at the progress that had been made that evening. They had talked, like actual human beings, and discussed matters she never would have dreamed they would have. Not to mention, she was going to bed with an invitation to sit in on a meeting she never would have expected him to ask her to be at. One that included some major decisions for Ignis, and therefore for Eira and Harenae too.

With that thought in mind, Carina took herself back to bed. And, despite it being colder than when it was first brought in, she tucked in to the small tray of food Sven had brought her. After that, she slid it onto the bedside table that was on the empty side of the bed and sunk down under the covers, a hand softly rubbing the bump as she stared up at the ceiling, still trying to work out if the conversation she had just had with him was real or not.
 
Before the meeting commenced, before breakfast had even been consumed, Carina would have to get up and get herself ready for the day with the aid of a handmaid, as any Queen was accustomed to. Even if the marriage had been loveless and simply a way to consolidate the power Ignis had over Eira for future generations of the family, Carina was still the Queen and still born of royal blood - she needed a maid at her side in the early morning to help her prepare for the day ahead of her.

That duty had always laid with Lauren, months upon months spent with her assuming those duties which she woke at the crack of dawn in order to fulfil to the best of her abilities. She had effectively declared that she would no longer maintain that duty, though apparently she couldn't just declare such a thing and expect it to be respected - she was at the bottom rung of the social ladder: what she thought and believed didn't necessarily matter when she was employed to serve the royals, her job title having evolved to serve specifically the Queen.

And when she was stirred from her slumber by a superior servant demanding to know why she wasn't up preparing tea for Carina, she knew all at once that she didn't have a choice in abandoning her duties - unless Carina had specifically requested another to help her, she would have to continue tending to her each morning as if she didn't despise her for her betrayal.

As if she and Thorin hadn't discussed murdering her and raising her child together.

And so, like every morning for the last few months, Lauren entered the bedroom with a tray of tea, set it down, and moved swiftly to pull back the heavy crimson curtains to allow the sunlight into the room, even if the light itself was always tinged red as a result of the clouds of smoke marring the sky.

It was no exaggeration when Lauren claimed to vociferously despise the woman she once cared for as thought she was a sister... but she was going to be smart about it. She couldn't resume her duties and make her hatred so unsubtle that it aroused nervousness in Carina, who knew the strength of Lauren's desire for justice for her people - she didn't need the other becoming aware that she too was a target of the plans they had once plotted together. To avoid that, she would need to force back her disgust and appear as though she was prepared to understand Carina's viewpoint; still claim to disagree but be willing to understand and accept it nonetheless.

Even if she would do anything but that.

"...Carina," she greeted with deliberate awkwardness, her hands fiddling carefully with the fabric of her dress as though building up the strength to continue.

"I... can't claim to be happy with... your, uh... Look, I'm not prepared to lose our friendship over a disagreement. I said things I shouldn't have and I... I've slept on it. I'm not necessarily... happy about the decision you came to but I... understand it. I'm not a mother, I'm not pregnant, but I don't need to be to understand why your priorities have shifted, I-- god, let's not get soppy so early on in the morning, I'm not about to start blubbering," she snorted as she carefully collected a few discarded display cushions from the floor in preparation to make the bed.

"I'm ready to draw a line under it all if you are. I'm not about to lose my best friend over this; it isn't worth out. Besides, I'm not sure what I'd do without you at my side; you're like my shadow at this point. I'd be lost without you," she grinned with ease, leaning across to gently place a strand of Carina's hair behind her ear. "Now-- really, get up out of bed, I need to get you ready for the day before breakfast."
 
It was a surprise to see Lauren the next morning, considering all that had been said the day before. The young maid had made it perfectly clear just what she thought of Carina's change of heart, and when she refused to tend to her for the rest of the day, Carina was sure she had seen the last of someone she once called friend. She was even certain she had passed on the message to find her a new handmaiden, but clearly in the events of yesterday, her baby brain had been activated and she had forgotten.

So as light suddenly pierced her slumber, Carina winced and turned her head to bury her face into the side of the pillow. She groaned softly, reluctant to wake after another restless of feeling the baby dancing the night away. Yet as she blinked her eyes open, her movements to sit up stilled at the sight of a familiar face.

She watched as Lauren approached the bed, slowly continuing to push herself up into a sitting position. After what had been said harshly and out of anger yesterday, Carina hadn't been expecting to see Lauren's face privately again. She had thought, if she wanted to see someone she once considered a friend again, she would have fight her way into the kitchen where she knew the majority of Lauren's chores were. Yet there she was, hovering awkwardly beside her bed.

A faint inkling of suspicion entered the back of her mind, sneaking in as she watched the young maid move around the room as she apologised. She couldn't help but feel slightly nervous about Lauren's behaviour and words. How she spoke about getting emotional but her expression not really matching what was being said. If there was one thing Carina had learned about Lauren, was that when she really felt something strong beyond measure, she couldn't hide it. She had seen it the day the carriage was attacked, the morning she arrived back and she had thought Sven had harmed her... it was all a little too hard to ignore.

Yet Carina knew quickly that it was best to mask her own concerns. If things were changing between them, then she knew it was better to let the young maid believe Carina had been fooled. She just had to hope that Lauren wasn't trying to trick her.

"You... really hurt me yesterday." Carina confessed softly, "You must know that... and it's... it's going to take a little bit for me to forget what you said." She informed her former friend, watching her carefully, "Saying... I can't do things for myself, that I was a distraction-- is our friendship going to be a distraction for you?" She awkwardly swung her legs out from under the covers and pushed herself to her feet. "You told me to fuck off, Lauren. That... that doesn't get forgotten in a hurry."

She moved passed her quietly, deliberating what to do and contemplating how to move forward. She didn't want to lose someone she considered a friend, the only friend she had in Ignis. Yet after a rough night of making sure that Sven was alright and didn't die and then having Lauren say all those things to her...

"I... I just need time. I know me pulling out of our plans hurt but you hurt me just as much."
 
"...Do you not realise how badly you hurt me, Carina? That my words were said in anger, in the heat of the moment? People say things they don't mean; it's a matter of fact. Obviously they have consequences and I'm aware that we can't just forget it happened, but I at least thought you'd... realise I didn't necessarily mean everything I said. Don't-- Please don't hold this against me, that won't be fair. It was-- I was angry, Carina. Haven't you said things to loved ones in the heat of the moment that you regret?" She murmured softly as she stood up from collecting the cushions, setting them down on the bed and tiredly resting her hands on her hips to patiently await the answer - or at the very least, a flicker of acknowledgement across the other's expression in understanding.

It was naive to think everything would suddenly go back to normal but she at least anticipated to be given the chance to work back to where they had been before the outburst. She also thought that her words might be forgiven as the angry ramblings of someone who had been hurt and felt betrayed, rather than true feelings reaching the surface.

Of course, she meant every single word more than ever now she held such a dislike for the woman, but she wasn't going to admit any of that to her.

In an ideal world, she wouldn't even be in the same room as her and would be safe to plot away with Thorin without coming into direct contact with the woman until their plans came into fruition... but evidently, she didn't have the luxury of avoiding her at all costs.

"You said it yourself: we both hurt one another. I'm willing to... accept that you hurt me and move on. If you can't do the same, then I... I'm sorry I hurt you and I'll respectfully step away from waiting on you; you can have another maid brought in to replace me if you truly can't get over the words I spat out in-- in anger. But you're my-- my best friend, my only friend. I-I've lost-- so many people in my life, I-- I'd hate it if-- if one argument caused me to lose you too, I--"

She paused to collect herself, turning around to quietly commence making the bed. Not facing the woman gave her a chance to drop the emotional expression and roll her eyes in disgust at herself, allowing Thorin's words of advice to pass through her mind to help her compose herself once more.

"...Look, I don't like this tension between us. I tried to come in here and carry on cheerfully to avoid it, but... of course I understand if you need time. I don't like it but I understand it; I've fucked things up, huh?"
 
It was a difficult to know what to do for the young queen. She wanted to forgive the one person she had considered a friend from the very start, she wanted things to go back to how they were before and know she had someone to rely on. She didn't want to be alone and was nervous to potentially cut off their friendship there and then. However, there was something that was eating at her. The fact that Lauren's emotions didn't quite match up to what she was saying. The maid was usually very obvious with her emotions, at least around Carina. It now felt as though... as though she was hiding them from her. Just as she would with Sven.

"But I never said anything quite like what was said to me. I never questioned you or your life... you... you did. Perhaps what you said was right, that as a royal, I am incapable of doing anything myself. But I won't allow that to settle on my conscious easily, Lauren. I am capable, more than capable, and I... I can't just let go of what you said."

Carina moved to the vanity table to sit and reached for her hairbrush, hesitating as she looked down at it while considering what to do or say next. Eventually she raised the hairbrush to her head to begin her routine, eyes moving up to look at the maid through the mirror.

"I don't... need to feel unnecessary guilt every time I see you, knowing I've let you down or... or feel like I need to avoid talking about Sven or the baby because-- because the baby's the reason I've made the decision I have." She murmured, pausing in her brush strokes and lowering the object, hands resting on the surface of the table. "I don't want to have to worry about... angering you again. I don't... I won't react as calmly if you speak to me that way again."

Carian meant that. She knew that, deep down, she took the brunt of Lauren's words because she knew the girl had been hurt and was simply reacting. However, with this new dynamic between her and Sven... she knew that Lauren wouldn't react well to that either. Carina simply wanted to avoid the stress that would now come from balancing on the tight rope of Lauren's emotions.

"I think... I think we should both take today to cool down further. Let us both think things over and then... and then go from there. I'll let... whoever in charge know you're excused from any duties related to me for the day and... we'll go from there."
 
Perhaps if Thorin hadn't spoken to her in the dungeons, this would have been the point where Lauren considered just how vicious her words had been and accepted that she couldn't walk right back into the friendship - because if not for the guard's words, she wouldn't have remained quite as angry towards Carina as she was. She would have inevitably raged for a few hours about it though, despite never swaying from her own plans, she would have come around eventually; realised that she couldn't lose her best friend.

And so this would have been the moment where she nodded in understanding and gave her the time she needed to forgive and move on; to make sure their friendship had time to heal before it could continue further.

Unfortunately for Carina, no such understanding settled in Lauren's mind. She would fake it, of course, but the anger she felt towards Carina in that moment had only been heightened at her words; the fire that had been stoked in her now having fuel thrown onto it, that searing, burning hatred no longer a temporary fixture but entirely permanent, not looking to be quashed until she saw the Queen dead in front of her.

Because she didn't -and wouldn't- accept that she was the worst one in this scenario; the one who had done committed such egregious wrongs. She had spouted off some hateful words in the heat of the moment - it was hardly deserving of the treatment she felt she was currently receiving, forced to stand and apparently accept the tone of superiority that, in her opinion, was cocooned with condescension.

She wasn't the worst out of the two - she wasn't the one who had stabbed her best friend in the back and selfishly prioritised themselves, after all. Maybe it wasn't a conclusion she would have come to by herself, but she didn't resent Thorin for opening her eyes to Carina's behaviour - she welcomed it; was thankful for his input because the idea that she might have genuinely been pleading for forgiveness disgusted her. Had it not been for the guard, she knew she would have been devastated by Carina's rejection and would have pathetically done anything to mend their friendship.

Any remnant of feeling she held for the woman before entering the room that morning, any chance that she might realise how fond of her she was and turn her back on Thorin's plans... they were all extinguished now, the hatred for her deep-rooted and the desire to see her dead as strong as it was regarding Sven.

"...I suppose that makes sense," she eventually mumbled as she removed her hands from the bedsheets, leaving the bed itself half-made - there was no point continuing the duty when it appeared the other wanted her to leave and someone else brought in straight away. It was mildly irritating that she hadn't convinced her, but she wasn't going to let it impact her. She doubted Carina was ever going to suspect of her of plotting her murder, after all.

"Just... Just know that I am here for you. You may not ever decide to bring me back to this duty, but I'll never abandon you, Carina. Just... take your time, as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere and you know where to find me if you ever did need to talk. I... at least hope that I can still come to you if something's on my mind? As I said, I don't... have anyone else-- but you're right; we need some time apart. You should ask for Madeline to help you; she's a sweet thing, she'll do a good job."
 
Smiling quietly to Lauren through the mirror, she struggled to think of what to say in response. She wasn't going to ask Madeline for help, that was for sure. There had been one person, and one person only, that Carina had trusted to tend to her over the past thirteen months or so, and now that trust had taken a knock. Now with everything else going on and Sven seemingly becoming this new person, she didn't want another maid to help her get ready in the morning when they would be asking questions about what she needed for the day.

Those questions required answers that she knew would become rumours. Even though Carina knew she had done a rather good job at ensuring rumours of Sven's walkabout hadn't left the castle, she knew her luck would run out when it came to whispers about her. Especially when the people who worked in the castle were all Ignisian's who undoubtedly wanted her downfall the moment she gave birth to an heir.

Unknown to her that now, the one person she had called friend, also wanted the same thing. Worse still, to be the one to sink a knife into her heart.

"I think I'll be perfectly capable without Madeline. I... wouldn't ever have a need for her as I did for you. We used our pairing as a disguise for our friendship... I won't have that friendship with Madeline. So I'd... like it if you didn't refer her for me to any... superiors. I'd prefer to keep my headspace clear of the voices of others right now." Carina answered, remaining neutral and diplomatic as she finished her hair with a final few strokes of the brush.

She then moved on to moisturising her face, hands lingering with her palms pressed against the front of her face and fingers covering her eyes. She sighed heavily, removing them afterwards and rubbing in any excess moisturiser into her hands.

"You know my door is always open, Lauren. You can come to me... whenever things are getting too much for you. You know that." She added softly, a hand slipping off the vanity table to rub the top of her bump, eyes remaining on the young girl she once considered her closest friend and ally. "I'm not shutting you out completely... I just think... we both need some more time to cool off. Hopefully-- hopefully things can return to normal once we have."

Carina herself wasn't sure about this, not with Lauren's words and emotional expressions contradicting each other. However she would never go so far as to assume or even consider that the maid had now also included her in the murderous plans they had once created together for Sven.
 
There wasn't much more that could be said when Carina had made her point perfectly clear, and there was little that Lauren could do when further attempts to appeal to the emotions regarding their friendship only made her feel physically nauseous. It was bad enough being in the woman's company when she felt betrayed by her and wanted nothing more than to let out every vitriolic word she had been holding back during their interaction so far, but continuing to sickeningly gush about how what they had wasn't worth giving up on?

She couldn't do that without spitting the words out sarcastically and exposing her true feelings completely. To fight for their friendship when it had been Carina's fault that it had deteriorated to what it now sickened her, but it was a necessity; a facade she had to keep up in order to evade as much suspicion as she could. So she would continue with it, force a smile in her company and, when their friendship 'got back on track', she would act as she had done before the betrayal, to the best of her abilities.

But remain a second longer to insist on how much she cared about the woman? She couldn't fathom doing that without the facade slipping and exposing her unadulterated hatred for her, so she heeded the advice with a faint smile and made her exit from the room.

She only paused to curtsy to Sven when he reached the door, the King's eyes following her exit in confusion when he noted that she hadn't remained behind to assist the Queen and uphold the usual duties she had stayed to conclude.

"...Is she not staying to help with your dress and fix your hair?" He questioned quietly as he let his eyes graze briefly over Carina, a smile reaching them as he recognised the distinct lack of disgust he felt when observing her now. In fact, after the knock at the door and his entrance into her bedroom, his emotions towards her were all extremely positive - he felt content in her presence, that joy increasing at the sight of her bump at the memory of the little kicks that had met his hand from within it the previous day. The conversation they had had then had played on his mind all night, though he didn't feel embarrassed or awkward around her because of it.

In fact, he felt... renewed; refreshed. She had given him the confidence boost he had needed, and rather than flaunt that to belittle her, he had warmed to her because of it, the gratitude he felt for her and her kindness last night being something he would never forget.

"They-- want to meet before breakfast; they'll be arriving within the next half an hour, unfortunately. I'd have liked my morning coffee and croissant before having to deal with those bastards but... there we are," he tutted as he took his spot at the window, his leaning posture against the wall being a tendency of his during his meetings with her in her room.

"...I thought you'd be ready by now so I can leave to let you get changed, if you wish. But I'm happy to stay and help you with the ties on the back of the dress; I... have some experience. My mother would make me help her when I was a boy; she'd get the stick out and hit me when I messed up, I think that's the only reason she had me helping, so she had a justifiable reason to whack me, but-- I'm not going to cry, don't worry; I don't need you wrapping your arm around me again. I'm done with the tears for a while," he laughed, the sound surprisingly joyful despite the harsh admission they had followed. A little self-deprecation, the digs at his overly emotional state, was at least a way to lighten the difficulties of his childhood, and a good way to cheer himself up before he could focus on the trauma of it.

"You're the one who's supposed to all emotional, hm? Hormonal and whatnot. Yet I'm the one bursting into tears - it's rather funny, I suppose. If I don't laugh, I'll cry - and fuck, we've both had enough of that for a while, I imagine."
 
  • Sympathy & Compassion
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