Platonic Friendships: Can They Work!

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Diana, Dec 9, 2012.

  1. I just finished reading this guy's opinions and insight to platonic friendships and thought it was a really interesting topic!

    A lot of people feel that guys and girls can't be friends without crushes and sex eventually coming in to play. And it's not just guys who are guilty of getting crushes on their female friends, girls often get crushes on their dude friends who aren't interested too!

    Are friends who are JUST friends with no attraction or intention for 'future hookups' really so rare in our current society? Do YOU have any platonic relationships with your opposite sexed friends that have STAYED platonic? Or have you also fallen in to the crush zone?
     
  2. Intriguing article. I'm a bit irked by this line, In my opinion, the typical Modern American Male has no idea how to deal with the Modern American Female because most of them have never related to women as anything other than booty prospects.

    I can see this working out in reverse, but it is an opinion stated on experience.

    I can say that I've been in all three scenarios of crushing on a friend, being crushed on by a friend who wants to be more, and having a truly platonic relationship with the opposite sex. I very much believe it is possible to have a platonic friend and I almost think it should be mandatory for everyone. You really do learn a whole lot, and personally I learned from guys how to chill out and not hold a grudge. It's what I love about men, and I learned from my boyfriend and his best friend what a friendship looks like as an adult. (You know, when you rarely get to talk to them because real life gets in the way or there's distance involved, you shouldn't get insecure.)

    I will also say that my choice of words do change when I'm around guys. >.> I cuss more, toss out dude every now and then, etc.
     
  3. I think it's probably possibly, but I mean who wants that?

    WE BE HUMANS! BREEDING IS WHAT WE DO! Nothing wrong with a little sex between friends. Then again, I am sort of a floozie and yeah sex usually always causes drama of some sort.

    Aside from my many female friends on Iwaku, although that is kinda different cause it's online....I think the only female friends I've had have been my guy friends girlfriends/wives, but they are only friends by default so I guess that really doesn't count.
     
  4. I've had platonic friendships before in the past and I still have platonic friendships. It's never really been much of a problem for me in this regard, though. One of my closest friends is a man with whom I have an entirely sexless relationship. We laugh at the same sorts of jokes, we give each other hell for silly things and tease about failures and flaws, and we hang out together. I visit him at work a couple times a week and we hang out about once a week, and there's never been any problem between us.
     
  5. While I may have felt some sort of attraction in the past, it has long since subsided, ever since I realised that I don't really acre about having any sort of relationship outside of friendship. They themselves have said that they're not interested in that sort of thing, instead focussing on more important issues. I find it better to have them purely as friends - if it were any deeper with any of them, I'd feel like I was treading on eggshells. Always trying to make myself the person that impressed them, not who I am. As they're just friends, I can cut loose, and they'll still regard me as the group member who makes the awful puns.
     
  6. I crush on all of my friends, guys and girls, at one point or another. It usually goes away quickly and we stay friends without any romantic bonding. That's just who I am. If I care about you, I love you.

    This is a reason I don't have many friends, because it does tend to weird people out when there's suddenly interest from my end, and it is exhausting loving that many people at once. All my friendships start out as crushes. If they don't have romantic interest in me, then it will either foster into a strong friendship, or they're weirded out and pull away and we stop talking.
     
  7. Of course platonic friendships are possible! I am in a few of those right now with my female friends, towards whom I do not feel attraction. I have been a friend to one of them for almost ten years now, while I have known the other only for two, and I have miscellaneous friends whom I do not want to count down, but I have never crossed the line with them. Although we do not hang out that much anymore, mainly due to my studies in university, I still consider themselves to be important friends, nothing more, but nothing less either. So yes, platonic friendships between people of opposite genders does exist!
     
  8. It's called "not thinking with your dick" (for blokes anyway), and its not that hard really.
     
  9. I have female friends but I hardly talk to them. not because I am crushing on them or anything like that, I just get nervous. For some people platonic friendships work because they may have grown up with it or they are the type that is comfortable in a crowd, good socially. But for some people the reason why it doesn't work is simple; they aren't used to talking to the opposite sex or they just can't hold a friendship with them without being attracted to them. It all depends on the person.

    For me it is almost impossible to have friendships with women because of my social issues. the fact that I talk online more then I do in real life should say how much I am at home with crowds; I'm not.

    But my over all opinion is yes, they are possible, for some people. Some people can, some can't. Just depends.
     
  10. See I can love someone without having any sexual attraction to them. So platonic relationships? Yep totally fine and happen all the time with me.
     
  11. Yeah, it can be done.

    Can I do it? Yes.

    Unless alcohol is around- that usually tends to muck those plans up. Either way, I'm kinda free about the sex thing, I few sex as an expression and useful in many different ways.

    Sooooo, I've had some long-time male friends that I never diddled with and we're close, like a longtime friend of mine who I've known since kindergarten- the guy taught me multiplication and division when the school was convinced I wasn't ready for it and had put me in a class for... well, special needs students.

    I had the biggest crush on him when I was younger, when I was nine or something, I told him I liked him on the soccerfield in the middle of a game and like something out of a comedy, I got bonked in the head with the soccer ball. His mom is best friends with my mom, to boot, so we've always had a normal amount of contact.

    Reminds me, I need to call him up some time and check on him.
     
  12. Most blokes lack the Astartes will saves
     
  13. I've had a few female friends I never wanted to be with romantically, though I admit a lot more did start out as dumb little crushes. Funny thing about some of my old crushes in highschool, apparently a lot of them actually wanted me too. I'm just horribly oblivious to things.

    But yeah, opposite-sex friends with no romantic urges for eachother can totes happen.