Welcome to the second part of PIPS! In this thread, we encourage you to read the entries and answer the discussion questions provided. Feedback and commentary are of course welcome, but remember this was meant to be fun and light. We're here to discuss the themes of the submissions, not to nitpick how they were written :) Please remain polite and if you do provide criticism, make sure it's constructive. First of all, thank you to everyone who participated! I received a handful of submissions and they were all quite fun! We're definitely going to be back in April 2018! Some of the submissions are anonymous -- please respect this request by the writer and do not try to pin it on someone, even if you recognize their writing. There are no winners, but every entry will be featured in a pinned Showcasing thread, along with their entry! There will be a reading done on Discord on Sunday January 7 @ 19h00 server time (Central time, GMT -6). Since it's the holidays, I figured the first weekend of January would be best for everyone who might want to pop in. I will be recording it as well and posting it on Iwaku's Youtube channel for everyone to enjoy. More instructions will be posted when the time comes! The themes for December's PIPS were: Change versus tradition Pride Purpose Violence Optimism Between one and three themes were encouraged to be used. * Discussion Questions Courtesy Rules In the following tabs you will have the discussion questions, which I highly suggest using! :) You are also free to simply comment on the submissions and say how you feel about them or how they made you feel. Do you feel the themes selected for the poem were identifiable in the submission? If more than one theme, did a theme feel like it was the main one? If a title was provided, did it mean anything in regards to the rest of the poem? In your own words, what do you think the poem meant? Are there any symbols? If so, what did they mean? Do you think they were universal symbols or did they arise from the context of the poem? Did the poem provide an image? If so, what kind of image? Do you feel the form (poetic form, rhyme scheme, line arrangement, etc) influenced how you interpreted the poem? Were they important elements? What was the tone used? Did any words reveal the tone? Is it consistent, or does it change along the way? What heavily connotative words were used? Did you feel any words had unusual or special meanings? If any words or phrases were repeated, why do you think that is? Did you feel like you understood the meaning behind the poem? Were the writer's intentions clear or ambiguous? If you were to read this poem out loud, how would you go about it? In terms of tone, rhythm, etc. What parts of the poem interested or puzzled you the most? Number/letter grades are highly discouraged as they tend to be arbitrary and to vary widely in interpretation. This applies to any form of comparative grading. It is better to use the discussion points from the previous tab for each entry based on its individual merit rather than assigning a grade. Some entries were requested to be anonymous, please respect the writer's decision. Discussions are encouraged to happen between December 21 and December 31, but if you wish to keep talking about the entries once the event is over, the thread should remain available for a few weeks. Have fun and even if you didn't submit a poem, everyone is encouraged to talk about the entries! :) Submissions Relax it's all in your head. (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Relax it's all in your head. (open) Relax it's all in your head. (close) By: Anonymous Themes: Purpose, Violence My lips are chapped and my shirt is drenched with sweat, My palms are shaking, my knees buckling for the worry they undertake. I feel the heat from the closed-up room, Despite feeling the breeze of the air-con being loomed. I take a seat on the satin bed, Wondering whether I'm actually in over my head. For pain is felt and rarely seen, I tell myself for once, this will not be taken as another scene. Relax, it's all in your head. I tell myself that as I gripped the sheets tightly on my bed. The clock strikes three and the curtains were drawn in. My medicine box was scattered and free, sheets of tissues thrown overflew the bin. The mirror on the dressing table across me, had whiteboard markings of words, To describe the person in it I should actually see. Relax, it's all in your head. I looked at the palm of my hand, to the pills that I had spread. I distract myself by thinking about how the first time my head started to scream out loud. It was a few days before Christmas, Where lights and decoration in malls were witnessed. Pine trees were dressed with vibrant lights, Even my friend and I were brimming with excitement from the sight. Boxes and packages lined with ribbons and frills, We couldn't wait to have our fill at the annual Christmas grill. There would be gifts exchanges and a party with dances, Though what I looked forward to was when the food passes. Despite our intentions of wrapping up presents, It seemed like others too had their own celebration. The train was packed and my friend and I were separated, I held onto the door handle as a young girl suggested. The vehicle jolted and I almost fell, When a pair of hands held my waist firmly and well. I turned my head and found myself staring into a pair of eyes that told me he wasn't really himself. Relax, it's all in your head. I told myself that and ignored my feeling of dread. I smiled in thanks and faced forward to the young girl, And that was the moment my life begin to whirl. As the train hummed and sighed into the tracks, I felt the man silently attack. I felt his body against mine, Chills went right down my spine. He rubbed and moved his body against mine, I kept telling myself I wanted to die. When my body finally decided it had enough, I tried my best to move away by being rough. The young girl looked petrified at what was seen, But the man gave my body a look that was obscene. It took me a few moments to realise, But all I could do was cry and listen to consolation that were actually hidden lies. My friends would say that no one deserved this, But behind my back they would blame my attire with a hiss. Adults would hug me and empathise, But they told their children that they and I should cut ties. I begin to lie and isolate myself, That my room was the only escape from this place I call Hell. As I distanced myself so far away, Did my mistakes and flaws I weigh. "You're disgusting and a horrible person, For anyone would have stood up for themselves before the situation worsened." "You're nothing but a coward and an object, For maybe that's why you never gained true respect." When crying became a tiresome activity, I found that cutting myself broke me away from all this so called 'negativity'. I drew blood and focused on physical pain, It helped my mind and sanity to maintain. Relax, it's all in your head. I tell myself that as I opened my eyes to meet my floor mat. I look at the pills in my hand before swallowing them as I have planned. For who could understand and love someone like me, Who thinks that death is my only remedy. Love (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Love (open) Love (close) By: @Dramma Themes: Violence Love is him saying sorry I lost my temper and me believing him. Love is repeating I'm sorry nervous as he raises his fist Love is the bruises that cover my body like flowers in meadow Love is a gasp, as his fist flies in a blink of an eye Love is the trembling When he's around vulnerable like a kid in the cold Love is the pain, growing with every day Love is the tears running down my cheeks Love is making excuses for him, because he doesn't make them anymore. Fate and Hope (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Fate and Hope (open) Fate and Hope (close) By: @dark Themes: Violence, Purpose, Optimism Fate and Hope The changing of leaves flew in the fall winds, making the regular world look even more beautiful before Judgement day. Fate… A man holding the world on his shoulders.. A modern day superman… With no powers. A predetermined destiny, one already foreseen. One who cannot change when their time came in the future. Lies told to protect the man who would save the human race. For what cost..? People who died in your name A fake messiah? Or A hero? A man breathing out words in a speaker bringing hope to everyone laid his hands to speak his final words. “This is John Connor… There is No fate in what we make..” Eyes of Gold (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Eyes of Gold (open) Eyes of Gold (close) By: Anonymous Themes: Pride, Violence Poetic Form: Pantoum Filled with eyes of gold Teeth sinking into flesh Look upon the innocent that suffer Avarice will be your vice Teeth sinking into flesh Smirk at the face of terror Avarice will be your vice The call of the king is too strong Smirk at the face of terror Bloodied lavenders are sweetly scented The call of the king is too strong You are too intoxicated by power to notice Bloodied lavenders are sweetly scented Masking the stench of entrails You are too intoxicated by power to notice Death awaits you at the end Masking the stench of entrails Look upon the innocent that suffer Death awaits you at the end Filled with eyes of gold Priority Seating (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Priority Seating (open) Priority Seating (close) By: Anonymous Themes: Violence Priority Seating by Anonymous Silence and a cup of fear I’m the ghost crushed beneath her bootheel. Lucky me, you say, lucky me. You’re floating in your jello island and you just don’t know. How the footsteps come and go, The strangers and the slamming doors, The smoke so thick it sickens. Booze and guns, thieves and liars, Deals and death, then Make a child for dollars. Shut up, she screams, Enjoy the show, or tomorrow you’ll be starring. Scars? Not enough. Pain. It should be worse. Trouble? I’ll show you some. Lucky you, she says, lucky you. It’s not right to be so lucky. Who was shot today. Who ran away. Who’s coming back tomorrow. You just don’t know Silence and a cup of fear I’m a ghost beneath her bootheel. Harbinger (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Harbinger (open) Harbinger (close) By: @Greenie Themes: Purpose, Violence Shedding blood and felling foes Years of this endless toil Blood and screams Shortened lives, hastened deaths My life and my being A harbinger to your foes I simply a plaything Your powerful, dutiful tool Glistening red sword in hand To you I turn, my liege If it is peace you truly seek Let us end this now A momentary stabbing pain And happiness awaits us Fear not the darkness, my liege For where you go, I follow Stained Glass Windows (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Stained Glass Windows (open) Stained Glass Windows (close) By: @HerziQuerzi Themes: Violence He's so beautiful, it makes me want to cry Depicted by holy mirage by a chapel's sharp planes in jeans and shirt of black and blue, such battered hues God help me Ash on his fingers and whiskey on his lips His hands make a painting of my skin Fingers over flesh, leaving lover's marks Oh God help me He's so beautiful He makes me want to cry He must be beautiful How else would he make me want to cry With his lover's hands he makes a painting of my skin in black and blue, such battered hues God help me And with ash on his fingers or whiskey on his lips, he makes me want to cry He makes me want to die He makes me want to cry He's so beautiful my broken mirage is so beautiful God help me Memory (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Memory (open) Memory (close) By: @Quincunx Themes: Pride, Violence To touch an angel and watch her skin curl and char To relive the taste of copper and concrete To reach into one of our hearts and twist it from the inside out as I watch These are cinders on the hearth Flickers in the dreamlike past People who remember their bird bones breaking are a dime a dozen I have proven my worth Ascending winglessly A restless singing in my chest "More" (Untitled) (Move your mouse to reveal the content) (Untitled) (open) (Untitled) (close) By: @Holmishire Themes: Violence, Pride Both brothers, sisters stand ready to fight Dark, winged figures and flashes of light, Demons bringing us back the night— Angels singing of black and white. Silent knight, holy knight, Stay your blade; be not afraid. Quarrels fought, may be now forgot; Ashes and frost, your war has been lost. Friends and once foes, held sword, took knee Bodies soon froze by Lord's decree The age of mankind, ended at the last In death now aligned, mending hate long cast. Pomonus and Vertumna (Move your mouse to reveal the content) Pomonus and Vertumna (open) Pomonus and Vertumna (close) By: @RiverNotch Themes: Change vs Tradition, Purpose Vertumnus and Pomona He. And should we explore the purposes of love by subverting the most ancient opposition? But the way is dark: a tree stands for its end. She. And on that tree hangs the lovelorn Anaxarete. He. It was Iphis who hanged himself: Anaxarete, for rejecting him, turned to stone. She. And around the corpse, apples ripe and heavy. But even as you drop your warty witch's face here at the end, your nails remain uncut, your arms still sag with age, and your breasts... (He seizes her. For a moment, all is still.) She. You've already transitioned, my brilliant little god. Now peel me like an orange.