PIPS - Discussions (April 2019)

Pahn

Badass Bitch
Original poster
ROLEPLAY DEPARTMENT
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
Anytime, I have no life.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Douche, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I'm fine with both, but I have hard time with others using my character(s) without my prior consent. If the other player is unsure, I will have more of an aggressive style.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, monster girls, fractured fairytales
Genre You DON'T Like
Roadtrip style, already-planned-out adventures, rigid GMs.


Welcome to the second part of PIPS!

In this thread, we encourage you to read the entries and answer the discussion questions provided. Feedback and commentary are of course welcome, but remember this was meant to be fun and light. We're here to discuss the themes of the submissions, not to nitpick how they were written :) Please remain polite and if you do provide criticism, make sure it's constructive.

First of all, thank you to everyone who participated! I received a lot of submissions and they were all quite fun! We're definitely going to be back again in summer 2019! I love seeing newbie members and older-members-but "new" PIPS participants, so keep it coming.

Some of the submissions are anonymous -- please respect this request by the writer and do not try to pin it on someone, even if you recognize their writing. There are no winners, but every entry will be featured in a pinned Showcasing thread, along with their entry! (When I get to it, pls no hate)

A live reading will definitely happen at the end of the month, more information will be posted later! It is likely going to be in April though, so mark your calendars.


The themes for April's PIPS were:

► Deception
► Fate vs. Free Will
► Self-Indulgence
► Making the Impossible Posslbe
► Corruption


At least one theme encouraged to be used.



  • In the following tabs you will have the discussion questions, which I highly suggest using! :) You are also free to simply comment on the submissions and say how you feel about them or how they made you feel.


    • Do you feel the themes selected for the poem were identifiable in the submission? If more than one theme, did a theme feel like it was the main one?
    • If a title was provided, did it mean anything in regards to the rest of the poem?
    • In your own words, what do you think the poem meant?
    • Are there any symbols? If so, what did they mean? Do you think they were universal symbols or did they arise from the context of the poem?
    • Did the poem provide an image? If so, what kind of image?
    • Do you feel the form (poetic form, rhyme scheme, line arrangement, etc) influenced how you interpreted the poem? Were they important elements?
    • What was the tone used? Did any words reveal the tone? Is it consistent, or does it change along the way?
    • What heavily connotative words were used? Did you feel any words had unusual or special meanings? If any words or phrases were repeated, why do you think that is?
    • Did you feel like you understood the meaning behind the poem? Were the writer's intentions clear or ambiguous?
    • If you were to read this poem out loud, how would you go about it? In terms of tone, rhythm, etc.
    • What parts of the poem interested or puzzled you the most?



    • Number/letter grades are highly discouraged as they tend to be arbitrary and to vary widely in interpretation. This applies to any form of comparative grading. It is better to use the discussion points from the previous tab for each entry based on its individual merit rather than assigning a grade.
    • Some entries were requested to be anonymous, please respect the writer's decision.
    • Discussions are encouraged to happen in the first couple weeks following the posting of this thread, but if you wish to keep talking about the entries once the event is over, the thread should remain available for a few more weeks.


Have fun and even if you didn't submit a poem, everyone is encouraged to talk about the entries! :)

If you didn't submit an entry or if you had a sudden inspired moment and wish to contribute, you are more than welcome to post a poem - just remember that participating members will mainly discuss the poems that made it in time. Tag me if you wish to have me read your poem during the live reading, and make sure to include a title + themes chosen!


Submissions


By: Khryses Khryses
Themes: Fate vs. Free Will
Poetic Form: Limerick

The issues with Free Will apply;
If God’s gift, it’s likely a lie
His view, outside time
Make “choices” a mime
Each mapped and futile to defy


By: PavellumPendulum PavellumPendulum
Themes: Self-indulgence, corruption
Poetic Form: Free verse

she’s black and blue from his fists
sore and tired of his touch
mouth rattling with loose teeth
from a love so tight it wrings her neck.

he insists that he is the only one capable of loving her
and though she had been led to believe this
the tufts of hair her scalp is missing
make her wonder.

one day, she wonders if he’s ever been acquainted
with the back end of a hammer
so she waits until he sleeps
to schedule a meeting.

she finds that they become the best of friends.

finally, she is free
she does everything he hated
going out late, wearing skirts that she likes
talking to friends without him.

he rots under her feet
asleep under the floorboards
unmoving
shaking with the house during thunderstorms.

but something is wrong.

something itches within her throat
splintering in her lungs
she can feel his fingers coiled
at the base of her neck in the dead of the night.

so she rips at the floorboards and cuts each finger off
sobbing for him to stop
the position is familiar
though he does not say a word this time.

so she gouges out his eyes
thumbs dug deep into his skull
to destroy all evidence that he ever looked at her
with the cruelty he called his love.

so she collects his bones
makes broth from the remains
sips him down like an aged bourbon
in a chilled highball glass.

but each desecration of his body
only sends her deeper into her paranoia
thinking he was right all along.

so she lays beside him
pulling the floorboards over them
like a blanket in the dark
rotting alongside
the only love she’s ever known.


By: Nemopedia Nemopedia
Themes: Fate vs Free Will
Poetic Form: Free form

What is free will to a fatalist?
What is fate to a free spirit?

Illusion, excuse.
Delusion, decision.
Belief, believe.

God gave man free will.
Man blames God their fate.


By: Jays Jays
Themes: Deception, Self-Indulgence
Poetic Form: Loose symmetric openings

Your youth a thing of the past, wasted like peaceful silence, forever screaming.
"Mama, must we go quietly into the night?" you ask, slaving to put your mark upon an indifferent world.
So subtle, your hope and dreams, like an infant howling the dark, none near enough to hear.
Funnily, faith was always the first thing to be abandoned, for what was God compared to a naive ego?
Fat, filled, gluttonous, choking on all the things you decided the world rightfully owes you.
When wicks run low, blinding light unsustainable, you close your eyes against the truth of the dark.
She saved you and walked away, because you never really deserved salvation.
Falls fluttered like butterfly wings, plucked and discarded, the years waiting for no-one, less a narcissist.
The time you began to understand, do you still remember? Can you forget?
Sidewalks empty, the road deserted, bare feet sliced on cold cobblestone.
Cracks in your little bubble, do you see it yet?
Up in flame it goes, the only tiny constant in your life, inconsequential as the day you decided to go screaming into the night.
Pranked, now read all the first words of each line again.
I'm sorry.


By: PavellumPendulum PavellumPendulum
Themes: Fate vs. Free Will
Poetic Form: Free verse

often, i am struck with the thought of dying.

there is little that keeps me tethered to the body im forced to lug around, the body i am burdened with. i find myself wishing that i was dead.

not by my own hand, but by that of fate. i want something to kill me, i want it to be so precise that it could not possibly be my fault, so no one will be angry with me, so they will just mourn and curse at destiny itself, asking why i was granted my one wish.

i want to be erased. i want it to be painless, i want everything i’ve ever known to disappear.

l’appel du vide is the call of the abyss. the compulsion to jump, the compulsion to become nothing. i see the emptiness within me and i want it to consume me, i want it to swallow me whole, digest every inch of me, dissolve me into nothingness.

it hungers.

l’appel du vide keeps me awake at night. dries my eyes then fills them right back up. i cry out everything that defines me. i take in the people around me. i mimic them. i am not myself when i am not someone else. nothing that i am belongs to me. the void calls to me and i fill it in a desperate attempt to silence it but nothing is heavy enough. my fingers break under its weight.

it hungers.

l’appel du vide scrambles my thoughts, swallows my words, savors them then spits them out. i want to be more than i am. i want to be more than a stolen smile, a borrowed personality. i want love, i want-

l’appel du vide does not care what i want.

it hungers.

i claw at my restraints.


By: Draugvan Draugvan
Themes: Making the impossible possible
Poetic Form: Haiku

Food eats time, this Fall
Alas, poem barely formed
Well-fed girlfriend - Score


By: Anonymous
Themes: Corruption
Poetic Form: Free

They wrapped his body with a pale linen shroud.
He was carried on a wooden stretcher across the field
to a pit picked open at the break of dawn. He was lowered
gently for the first four feet, but dropped when one
of the pallbearers slipped. The dirt was less demanding.

No one cared when the mound was tamped down
by the groundskeeper that afternoon,
nor when the worms began their hungry work
tunneling from the open through the earth
and the pale linen shroud and his skin.

His body bloated like from an excess of meat.
The whites of his eyes turned blue then black.
The pores of his skin widened into wounds,
only the blood that oozed out was green.
His nails, now purple, popped out of his toes.

What mercy it is, that when we die,
our bodies do not float high into heaven
like our souls -- that the sun is not fuelled
by spilled yellow bile, that the rainbow is mere light,
and that snow is feathers, not falling worms.

By: Drama Fraud Drama Fraud
Themes: (self-)deception, self-indulgence
Poetic Form: Narrative


This life is wonderful!
No words can describe it better than beautiful
Why? For praising life is one of my duties
Of course, the real reason is my love for beauties

Hehehe, it’s just a joke

Life is beautiful and wonderful
But only to those who are beautiful and wonderful
Like who? Like me!

I, by all mean, is magnificent
A blessing, heaven-sent
For who? For humanity!

A waste of space? A waste of time?
Darling, your words don’t even rhyme

A trash of society? A burden to all?
You’re cute when you’re mad, doll

I have no need for work for I am great
Me, you cannot dissuade
I have no need for struggle for I am blessed
My luck, it can’t be expressed

Struggle is for the unlucky and poor
Dilligence is for those wiping the floor
Grit is for those in need for more
Labor is for those no one adore

Darling, work is for those who want something
Work is for the lowlife who has nothing
Me? I have everything!



Life is supposed to be wonderful!
Life should be like a dramatic musical
Why? Because I am a star in life!
My fate should have never took a dive

Hehehe, right, this must be a joke

Life is beautiful and wonderful
So it’s acceptable at times to be a little playful
Okay, this is a bit funny

I mean, I am life’s winner
From those scums, I am much better
This joke’s far enough, honey

What do you mean there is no cash?
Darling, I’m not some random trash

What do you mean I have no future?
Doll, I’m not some random loser

Just sell the jewels if there’s no money
See? My sky above is still so sunny
Just take a loan when we run out
And sell the things we can do without

When the money is gone again just borrow some more
Payment? Darling, that’s such a bore
No need to think with this much money to spend
No need to worry when this blessing has no end

See, darling? Everything is fine
Failure? My life is not even in decline
Working? I still have money from all those selling
Save? I can just earn more through a bit of gambling

Darling, just relax with me as your king
My luck is a bit down but it will be back in full swing
Why? Because me, I have everything!

Regret? You make me laugh, darling
Just say no more
Say no more, darling

Please.
Just. Say no more
 
Last edited:

Khryses

Edgebabby
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Androgynous
Yes please Pahn Pahn

Fantastic poems this month. Special shout outs to:

Draugvan Draugvan (for making me smile - good your priorities are in the right place!)

PavellumPendulum PavellumPendulum (for making me think - and re-read your work, picking up different aspects each time)

Jays Jays (for the punchline - maybe a little more polish would have brought it out more, but I grinned when I saw it)

Nemopedia Nemopedia (For saying a lot with a little)

Anonymous' is possibly the most polished final product, and while it's not exactly fun to read it's definitely loaded with a message.
 

Pahn

Badass Bitch
Original poster
ROLEPLAY DEPARTMENT
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
Anytime, I have no life.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Douche, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I'm fine with both, but I have hard time with others using my character(s) without my prior consent. If the other player is unsure, I will have more of an aggressive style.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, monster girls, fractured fairytales
Genre You DON'T Like
Roadtrip style, already-planned-out adventures, rigid GMs.
HI HELLO I SOMEHOW FORGOT TO INCLUDE SOMEONE'S POEM, PLS FORGIVE, I JUST ADDED IT AT THE END OF THE LIST. PLS READ WITH LOVE.
 

Drama Fraud

Kitty
Roleplay Invitations
Group Roleplays
Posting Speed
One Post a Week
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Mmm semi aggressive if that makes sense. I like leading things, but if I lead for too long I become uncertain and uncomfortable.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, magic, power, those kind of things, mostly.
Genre You DON'T Like
No horror! Pure Romance. I like romance but only if it's a side plot.
YES SHOWER ME WITH LOVE

But let's discuss things first

Khryses Khryses Choices
I can't love this oneee but I like it still >-<

The title is simple, but it pictures the limerick well. The message in the limerick is a rewording of a well-known conundrum between fate and free-will so it's not exactly fresh, but the rhyme of the lines has nothing to critic (and I'm a sucker for rhymes brownie points for this) and the message is concise and clear. Very conventional? It's like reading an idiom when I read it. Not sure if this is a compliment though.

PavellumPendulum PavellumPendulum A Nice, Long Nap
It's dark! It's horrid! And just slightly edgy so it's good!

The title choice is a good one considering the conclusion of the poetry lel. I think the poetry should be categorised as Narrative instead of Free Verse considering the whole poetry is a beautiful story. There isn't much symbolism in the story with everything being explicit in nature, but it doesn't reduce the flow of things. The story inside is easy to understand so it's a very light and enjoyable read.

Criticism and questions! The dot at the end of each verse is a bit off-putting for me >_<. I also don't really understand how does the poetry reflects self-indulgence though I can see corruption being equaled to the paranoia the woman had after the murder.

Jays Jays Love Letter to My Past
I READ IT CAREFULLY AND I FEEL TRICKED
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ┻━┻

PavellumPendulum PavellumPendulum The Call of the Abyss
I love ittt the story is good here too!

First! I think this is a prose instead of a free form poetry considering it has paragraphs and stuff. Second! It's a good musing as a whole and the description of L'appel du Vide as a physical entity and an invisible force at the same time is very interesting. I'm not sure if it fits the Fate vs Free Will theme but the words can draw a picture of L'appel du Vide as a real beast in my mind~
 
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Jays

Olives and Fear
DONATING MEMBER
BITE Fall Community Pick
Roleplay Invitations
Group Roleplays, Private Convo Roleplays
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week
Writing Levels
Prestige
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Primarily Prefer Male
no reading this time?
 

Pahn

Badass Bitch
Original poster
ROLEPLAY DEPARTMENT
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
Anytime, I have no life.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Douche, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I'm fine with both, but I have hard time with others using my character(s) without my prior consent. If the other player is unsure, I will have more of an aggressive style.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, monster girls, fractured fairytales
Genre You DON'T Like
Roadtrip style, already-planned-out adventures, rigid GMs.
Yes there will be! I've just been a little busy. The reading will be:

Sunday May 5 @ 4 PM Eastern time

:D
 
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Reactions: Drama Fraud

Drama Fraud

Kitty
Roleplay Invitations
Group Roleplays
Posting Speed
One Post a Week
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Mmm semi aggressive if that makes sense. I like leading things, but if I lead for too long I become uncertain and uncomfortable.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, magic, power, those kind of things, mostly.
Genre You DON'T Like
No horror! Pure Romance. I like romance but only if it's a side plot.
I WILL NOT MISS IT THIS TIME
 
  • Love
Reactions: Pahn

Pahn

Badass Bitch
Original poster
ROLEPLAY DEPARTMENT
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
Anytime, I have no life.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Douche, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I'm fine with both, but I have hard time with others using my character(s) without my prior consent. If the other player is unsure, I will have more of an aggressive style.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, monster girls, fractured fairytales
Genre You DON'T Like
Roadtrip style, already-planned-out adventures, rigid GMs.
The reading will be in a bout 5-10 minutes now! :D
 

Drama Fraud

Kitty
Roleplay Invitations
Group Roleplays
Posting Speed
One Post a Week
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Mmm semi aggressive if that makes sense. I like leading things, but if I lead for too long I become uncertain and uncomfortable.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, magic, power, those kind of things, mostly.
Genre You DON'T Like
No horror! Pure Romance. I like romance but only if it's a side plot.
Haha I joined!
 
  • Love
Reactions: Pahn

Jays

Olives and Fear
DONATING MEMBER
BITE Fall Community Pick
Roleplay Invitations
Group Roleplays, Private Convo Roleplays
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week
Writing Levels
Prestige
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Primarily Prefer Male