MEMBER EVENT PIPS - Discussion (August 2019)

Pahn

Badass Bitch
Original poster
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
Anytime, I have no life.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Douche, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I'm fine with both, but I have hard time with others using my character(s) without my prior consent. If the other player is unsure, I will have more of an aggressive style.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, monster girls, fractured fairytales
Genre You DON'T Like
Roadtrip style, already-planned-out adventures, rigid GMs.


Welcome to the second part of PIPS!

In this thread, we encourage you to read the entries and answer the discussion questions provided. Feedback and commentary are of course welcome, but remember this was meant to be fun and light. We're here to discuss the themes of the submissions, not to nitpick how they were written :) Please remain polite and if you do provide criticism, make sure it's constructive.

First of all, thank you to everyone who participated! I received quite a few submissions and they were all fun!

This month, all entries will be posted anonymously. Please do NOT share which poem is yours!


Themes this month are...
► Celebration
► Disappointment
► Unreliability
► Sense of Community
► Resilience


Write a poem centering around at least two theme.

New this month!! - PIPS turns 2!!
While there will be no voting period, I still want to celebrate the two-year anniversary of PIPS! Therefore, two poems will receive a special prize!!

How, you ask?
1- There won't be any votes - but I ask all readers and participants to name one of their favourite poem. Either because of its structure, how well they used the themes, the story it told, etc. If there are no ultimate favourites, then two participants will be selected from the following:
2- During the live reading, I will determine which poem is MY favourite - and I will be explaining why. So make sure to be there if you decide to submit a poem!

Prizes:
The two most appreciated poems will see their writers win a $10 USD Gift Card each - place of your choice! If you're not American, we can work it out, no worries
So make sure to participate, even if you don't think you're very good at writing poems. You never know!!



  • In the following tabs you will have the discussion questions, which I highly suggest using! :) You are also free to simply comment on the submissions and say how you feel about them or how they made you feel.


    • Do you feel the themes selected for the poem were identifiable in the submission? If more than one theme, did a theme feel like it was the main one?
    • If a title was provided, did it mean anything in regards to the rest of the poem?
    • In your own words, what do you think the poem meant?
    • Are there any symbols? If so, what did they mean? Do you think they were universal symbols or did they arise from the context of the poem?
    • Did the poem provide an image? If so, what kind of image?
    • Do you feel the form (poetic form, rhyme scheme, line arrangement, etc) influenced how you interpreted the poem? Were they important elements?
    • What was the tone used? Did any words reveal the tone? Is it consistent, or does it change along the way?
    • What heavily connotative words were used? Did you feel any words had unusual or special meanings? If any words or phrases were repeated, why do you think that is?
    • Did you feel like you understood the meaning behind the poem? Were the writer's intentions clear or ambiguous?
    • If you were to read this poem out loud, how would you go about it? In terms of tone, rhythm, etc.
    • What parts of the poem interested or puzzled you the most?



    • Number/letter grades are highly discouraged as they tend to be arbitrary and to vary widely in interpretation. This applies to any form of comparative grading. It is better to use the discussion points from the previous tab for each entry based on its individual merit rather than assigning a grade.
    • Some entries were requested to be anonymous, please respect the writer's decision.
    • Discussions are encouraged to happen in the first couple weeks following the posting of this thread, but if you wish to keep talking about the entries once the event is over, the thread should remain available for a few more weeks.


Have fun and even if you didn't submit a poem, everyone is encouraged to talk about the entries! :)

If you didn't submit an entry or if you had a sudden inspired moment and wish to contribute, you are more than welcome to post a poem - just remember that participating members will mainly discuss the poems that made it in time. Tag me if you wish to have me read your poem during the live reading, and make sure to include a title + themes chosen!



Submissions


Themes: Unreliability and Resilience
Poetic Form: I don't know poetry
Permission to read aloud: Yes

RESURGENCE

it comes with the moon
this crimson noir spy
with a beauty that shrieks
and a voice that tells lies

you break and you quake
then next goes the mind
it hurts you and leaves you
but you beg for more time

lost is the fire born
that burned deep within
yet when she dare next come
you find strength once again

know nothing is fair
and hearts may shine black
but nothing lasts always
and a bitch will be back


Theme(s) selected: Disappointment, Unreliability, Resilience
Poetic Form: Ostentatious Lyrical


Sing me a melody, sweet darling mine, and
by your side I can fade like sunlight. Sand
and wind braid our lullaby, my lingering dusk. Taste
your song on my lips, tender notes haunt my head,
and I can fade in your breath tonight.

Tell me a story, lovely treasure, though
no tale can match your twinkling eyes, so
alive with a bonfire's light, brighter than moonlit waves. See
my heart lost in that flame, soul swept along on those dancing steps. To be
wholly yours on this shore.

Sing me a lie, tender love, tell me a happy end. Say
we will be forever, always, till our last breaths. Day
won't come after dusk, eternity is now. Our
finale will be a beach at sundown,
and you will never fade.

Tell me you love me, sing me your love,
sweetest darling mine.
Before moonlit waves crashed our sand lullaby,
and sunrise swept away my heart.


Theme(s) selected: celebration, community
Permission to read aloud: Yes

Submission:

A KFC Dinner for a Japan Christmas

It seems to crane its weary neck, the old bonsai tree,
wreathed in cochineal lights and a flight
of outdated paper birds in their last migration,
to peek! At a sanctum! Above the train station!
The face of a snow-white man in a red apron
awaits, guards the glass-gate and its patrons
studying the words of two-piece chicken deals
like scripture. This year, finally, the party bucket.
We behold this oversized chalice, and its weight, how
the heft of our blood, sweat, and salaryman dreams
seems ephemeral when we sit together,
and our hands -- deep in the hunt for the largest
drumstick -- meet, and we look at eachother,
laughing, then out the window, past the chicken
deal scripture, towards the old bonsai tree,
which cranes not its weary neck, but reaches
with gnarled arms, wanting to join hands with us.


Theme(s) selected: Disappointment & Unreliability
Poetic Form: Acrostic synonyms

Permission to read aloud: Yes [ x ] No [ ]

Unimpressed, unhappy, upset, unsatisfied;
Never asking you again;
Request failed, repercussions negatively great;
Epically enormously embarrassed;
Let down, leading me to feel;
Inconsolable, I cannot help but express myself;
Adverse of the results;
Bitter, baffled, bested;
Losses we will never regain;
Ending on that note the feedback is;

Unreliable.


Theme: Resilience, Sense of Community
Permission to Read Aloud? Given, hopefully received.


The night before we flew to Singapore,
I feared those days that lurked behind the dawn,
those four days of silence. I knew they'd feel like forty.
What temptations would the devil bring
in your absence, and would I fall?

But days passed by like hours
passed by like minutes, while the desert
proved a jungle. See, see, see,
sang a hanging parrot, and so flew
an elusive rufous hornbill:

it was just past noon. I was hungry and alone,
a fatal rock in the heart of a stream
of my fellow tourists, while the sea
waited for all of us
just beyond the dome.
 

Pahn

Badass Bitch
Original poster
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
Anytime, I have no life.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Douche, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I'm fine with both, but I have hard time with others using my character(s) without my prior consent. If the other player is unsure, I will have more of an aggressive style.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, monster girls, fractured fairytales
Genre You DON'T Like
Roadtrip style, already-planned-out adventures, rigid GMs.
oops! and---

Live reading will be Sunday September 1 @ 4 PM Eastern
 

Adrian

Papa Bear
Roleplay Invitations
Group Roleplays, One on One Roleplays
Posting Speed
A Few Posts A Day, A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week
Writing Levels
Give-No-Fucks, Adept, Advanced
Genders You Prefer Playing
No Preferences
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Aggressive
Favorite Genres
High Fantasy, Low Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Cyberpunk, Horror, LGBT+, Steampunk, Comedy, Post-apocalyptic, 80s, Thriller, Modern, Romance, Tragedy, Drama, Space Opera, Political Intrigue, Coming of Age
Genre You DON'T Like
Furry, Yaoi, Anime
Holy shit, that KFC poem is so good

Or should I say...

Finger-lickin'
good.
 
  • Nice Execution!
  • Like
Reactions: Vio and RiverNotch

Diana

Divine Space Witch Ò◇Ó
ADMINISTRATOR
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
My Usual Online Time
10AM - 10PM Daily
That KFC poem is a GEM, but my personal fav is Sundown cause it's got loverly imagery and sounds like a song from a fantasy novel. O:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jays

Daz

SHSL Torment
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Writing Levels
Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
No Preferences
Poetic Form: I don't know poetry
This made me snort. For someone who claims not to know poetry, I think you did a damn fine job of conveying the experience of being in an unhealthy relationship in your poem. My main critique is that I found it a little hard to read the first time, maybe the flow could be improved? I really enjoyed it when I read it again with more understanding though.

I can't decide if Resurgence or A KFC Dinner for a Japan Christmas is my favourite.
 
  • Bucket of Rainbows
Reactions: Diana

Pahn

Badass Bitch
Original poster
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
Anytime, I have no life.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Douche, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I'm fine with both, but I have hard time with others using my character(s) without my prior consent. If the other player is unsure, I will have more of an aggressive style.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, monster girls, fractured fairytales
Genre You DON'T Like
Roadtrip style, already-planned-out adventures, rigid GMs.
The live reading is in 20 minutes!
 

Pahn

Badass Bitch
Original poster
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
Anytime, I have no life.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Douche, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I'm fine with both, but I have hard time with others using my character(s) without my prior consent. If the other player is unsure, I will have more of an aggressive style.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, monster girls, fractured fairytales
Genre You DON'T Like
Roadtrip style, already-planned-out adventures, rigid GMs.
A KFC Dinner for a Japan Christmas - Everyone loved your poem, so congrats Aero Blue Aero Blue you gonna get a private message soon!

Resurgence by Diana Diana and Sundown by Jays Jays are my personal favourites, so you two shall also get a private message soon!


Thanks everyone for participating and making PIPS a success every time it goes live! :D
 

Daz

SHSL Torment
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
Writing Levels
Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
No Preferences
Congrats to everyone who took part! It's really brave to share your emotions and poetry, y'all should be proud.
 

LuckycoolHawk9

Strike A Pose
Roleplay Invitations
Group Roleplays, One on One Roleplays, Private Convo Roleplays
Posting Speed
Several Posts a Day, A Few Posts A Day, One Post a Day
My Usual Online Time
Will be updated when school year starts. For now, pretty much whenever
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Mostly Passive, Sometimes Agressive
I wonder who wrote disappointment and Over it now.