Picture Harrassment Rant

[Crafter]

This is a serious topic, and one that is bothering me.

I was kind of afraid about coming forward on this. Actually I've tried writing it several times, and I kept chickening out.

I do want to be clear that this problem has never yet, occurred on this site.

Most of my RP Topics start off with stuff like F4A, or mention my gender in them. For most this is not a problem.

However, every so often I meet a guy, and it's always a guy. Who starts off jokingly asking me for pictures, and then it escalates into; "Well how can I be sure you're really a girl? Just send me a pic so I know."

Like there's this idea that I "HAVE" to prove I'm who I say am to them. Even when I make it clear that I'm not comfortable giving out my picture, and it's not like I'm trying to get money or anything, these are just RP partners. If I was on a dating site, I would totally understand a guy being weary of getting catfished. That would make sense. It's just I shouldn't start an RP, and in the first five messages have a male partner start demanding I hand over pictures of myself.

They always whine about it too, like I'm the evil one for not showing them a picture of myself.

Now most guys I RP with, don't do this. It's probably around 3 out of every 10 or so.

I'm not judging all guys, as I said it's a small percentage, and most guys I RP with, are great to me. It's just that small percent makes me feel weird.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get that out. It's been pent up.

 

[Greenie]

You're most definitely not the evil one. Your privacy is important and you have the right to keep anything about yourself to yourself (with the exception of whether you're an adult or not for obvious reasons). If someone is badgering you to show a picture of yourself, that is not cool at all, and you should probably report them. There's no reason for you to have to deal with this kind of tension when all you wish to do is have some fun roleplaying, be it 3 out of 10 or 1 out of 100.

 

[Jorick]

Yep, there are creepy desperate weirdos out there who can't seem to differentiate between character and person. I've met some of those myself, including a few women amusingly enough, and it always comes with some kind of way too personal shit. Demanding pics is probably the most common kind. I've had people try to harass me into sharing pics, and also into adding them on Facebook (joke's on them, I don't have a real Facebook account), and to give them my phone number, and so on. That's bad enough, but I've seen both both first- and secondhand what kind of things happen when people either deflect and keep on roleplaying with these types of people or give them what they want.

For the situations where there's deflection but continued roleplaying and such, I've found that the people who do that are also the ones who will also do the awkward as fuck thing of like confessing their love for a roleplay partners after a few months, even if almost all their contact has been the roleplaying and OOC chatter about it. It's mainly due to this weird thing where some people don't have much of a barrier between their characters and themselves, so they get way immersed into the roleplay in an unhealthy way which can lead to them mixing up the IC emotions with IRL emotions and it's just a huge mess. It's better to just hard reject the people who try to get pushy with seeking personal stuff from you, because just the mere chance of that awkwardness coming up is best avoided if possible.

When someone gives them pics or their phone Facebook or whatever, these types of people do one of two things. First, if the person isn't attractive enough to suit their tastes, they tend to just bail out because they're pretty shallow. It seems like their thoughts on the matter are something like "why bother roleplaying with this person I don't want to date?" because that seems to be their weird end goal. The second option, if they are sufficiently attracted to the person, is they go straight for flirting and angling for internet dating, which of course often includes requests for risque pics or to write cybersex with them or so on. That seems to be the end goal of a lot of these people: find attractive person, roleplay with them, turn into relationship, get sexual gratification out of it.

So yeah, definitely not the kind of people you want to associate with. It sucks that there are so many of them out there, but that's life. I'm glad you've never encountered these sorts of people on Iwaku, and I'll reiterate something Greenie said: if anyone here ever tries to harass you for pics or so on, you can report them and the site Security staff will handle them. We don't tolerate that kind of predatory and harassing behavior on Iwaku, and we've banned many people before for doing it.

So good luck with your roleplaying endeavors, and I hope you never have to deal with those harasser types on Iwaku, but if you do then know that the staff will have your back if you need help getting rid of them. :D

 

[simbataco]

That's horrible! Just want you to know that I understand how you feel. We all should be able to RP in peace without having desperate creeps questioning us (persistently). You're not required to let people know your gender at all, so don't make yourself feel obligated to~

 

[The Mood is Write]

Eeeew ew ew ew ew!

Photo hounds are nasty. Most times, I've found I can stop them dead in their tracks by telling them I have a patreon where a $15 recurring donation nets them one selfie a month. It usually confuses them all to hell, which makes me giggle with all the flee of a goblin who's just looted hella gold.

But yes, absolutely do report any harassment on that vein! If a person is demanding selfies of one user, they're probably doing the same for other users as well, and that's even more skeevy-nasty.

I've only met two people who wanted my selfie on Iwaku, and I'm actually training one of them to not be creepy (he's young and wants to learn—asked me to teach him, actually). The other one was simply curious because I talk about trying to lose weight or how I love how soft my hair is. So, one is a former-creeper who is learning to be better, and one was just curious and content to leave it be when I told him I wasn't comfortable showing myself until I was closer to my weight goal, cuz I didn't like my triple chins. I'm down to double, now, and no longer resemble a thumb. ;D

BACK ON TOPIC.

Please please please report any creeps who bother you, and security will take care of them for you. Everyone wants Iwaku to be a safe haven dedicated to RP, where we can write freely without pressure to give in to weird and creepy demands. -flings paper hearts at Crafter-

 

[simbataco]

Eeeew ew ew ew ew!

Photo hounds are nasty. Most times, I've found I can stop them dead in their tracks by telling them I have a patreon where a $15 recurring donation nets them one selfie a month. It usually confuses them all to hell, which makes me giggle with all the flee of a goblin who's just looted hella gold.

Thiiiiiis! Omg funniest and most clever counter I've heard so far XD You are a GENIUS!

 

[The Mood is Write]

Thiiiiiis! Omg funniest and most clever counter I've heard so far XD You are a GENIUS!

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week, every week!

Serious though, it's fun to confuse people. 8D It may even leave them feeling dirty if they go for it.