M
MiraMirror
Guest
Original poster
My reason to plow through life is for my friends, as previously mentioned.
My reasons for that...
I was bullied throughout my life-Your typical geek story. I played Yu-gi-oh, I was a game nerd, I was a bit socially awkward... And every time I'd make an attempt to stand up for myself, I'd get shoved right back down, harder and harder every time. One day, in the ninth grade, I lost control for a second, and shoved one of my personal tormentors away. He didn't take kindly to it, and after class, I was shoved down 3 flights of stairs. The ends of each stair had recently had steel welded on to the ends of them, supposedly to prevent accidents. This didn't help in this case, however. When I finally hit the ground, I couldn't move. I was bleeding from my mouth, my chest was skinned a good bit, and my stomach was on fire. And the worst part? All the people walking down the stairs didn't bother to help. They walked over me, past me, and either laughed, or looked at me like I was a monster or something. Like they were disgusted, even the people who I thought were my friends. They were scared of having the same thing happen to them if they stood up for themselves, so they didn't... I couldn't move, I couldn't think... I just laid there, trying to stay awake and not pass out. It was a good 10 minutes before a teacher picked me up. We got to the hospital, and the doctor explained that I had 3 fractured ribs, and 1 was broken. I stayed at home for a good long while, and during this, I began thinking. I got into the mindset that friends weren't needed, that they would just turn on you and cause more pain in your life. They weren't to be trusted, and they weren't of any use. They were just...complications.
So, I shut myself off from all of them. Even the ones who hadn't seen what happened to me, the ones who didn't laugh. All of them. I was cold and I started reverting to my original personality. I didn't talk, I avoided conversations. I reverted to the overly shy boy I was from the start. The bullying didn't stop, because now they were angrier. One of the 4 guys got expelled and sent to one of those anger management classes... Now it was worse.
It got to the point where I was contemplating offing myself, but every time I tried, I couldn't bring my body to do it. I thought of myself as weak for not doing it. I was in utter despair. Despite my cold attitude, the loyal friends kept trying. I tried acting like I didn't care, and I ended up breaking down, but they stood by me. I told them to get away, but they would go anywhere. They talked me into stopping what I was doing, and they promised not to do what the others had done, adn I believed them. A lot of those friends left a while ago, but I still keep in touch with my closest friends. And because of those events, I chose to keep my friends happy, to never take them for granted. I live for my friends, as greedy as that sounds.
That may also explain why I'm so hard to get in a bad mood., or maybe I was always like that. Who knows, right? ^_^
A bit long-winded, sorry. ^^;
My reasons for that...
I was bullied throughout my life-Your typical geek story. I played Yu-gi-oh, I was a game nerd, I was a bit socially awkward... And every time I'd make an attempt to stand up for myself, I'd get shoved right back down, harder and harder every time. One day, in the ninth grade, I lost control for a second, and shoved one of my personal tormentors away. He didn't take kindly to it, and after class, I was shoved down 3 flights of stairs. The ends of each stair had recently had steel welded on to the ends of them, supposedly to prevent accidents. This didn't help in this case, however. When I finally hit the ground, I couldn't move. I was bleeding from my mouth, my chest was skinned a good bit, and my stomach was on fire. And the worst part? All the people walking down the stairs didn't bother to help. They walked over me, past me, and either laughed, or looked at me like I was a monster or something. Like they were disgusted, even the people who I thought were my friends. They were scared of having the same thing happen to them if they stood up for themselves, so they didn't... I couldn't move, I couldn't think... I just laid there, trying to stay awake and not pass out. It was a good 10 minutes before a teacher picked me up. We got to the hospital, and the doctor explained that I had 3 fractured ribs, and 1 was broken. I stayed at home for a good long while, and during this, I began thinking. I got into the mindset that friends weren't needed, that they would just turn on you and cause more pain in your life. They weren't to be trusted, and they weren't of any use. They were just...complications.
So, I shut myself off from all of them. Even the ones who hadn't seen what happened to me, the ones who didn't laugh. All of them. I was cold and I started reverting to my original personality. I didn't talk, I avoided conversations. I reverted to the overly shy boy I was from the start. The bullying didn't stop, because now they were angrier. One of the 4 guys got expelled and sent to one of those anger management classes... Now it was worse.
It got to the point where I was contemplating offing myself, but every time I tried, I couldn't bring my body to do it. I thought of myself as weak for not doing it. I was in utter despair. Despite my cold attitude, the loyal friends kept trying. I tried acting like I didn't care, and I ended up breaking down, but they stood by me. I told them to get away, but they would go anywhere. They talked me into stopping what I was doing, and they promised not to do what the others had done, adn I believed them. A lot of those friends left a while ago, but I still keep in touch with my closest friends. And because of those events, I chose to keep my friends happy, to never take them for granted. I live for my friends, as greedy as that sounds.
That may also explain why I'm so hard to get in a bad mood., or maybe I was always like that. Who knows, right? ^_^
A bit long-winded, sorry. ^^;
