Partners that don't roleplay

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by violetaz, Sep 26, 2012.

  1. Ever been with someone and they don't know what roleplaying is? So you try to explain it to them and they either join in or (more often, in my experience) go "Wtf? You weirdo." or think of it as the kinky dress-up kind.

    My it's-complicated-right-now person and I were texting and things got a little... dirty. I'm usually an extremely shy person and very inarticulate (except for when I'm writing) so when I send him a fairly long text of sexythings he was shocked. Today I explained that I was probably able to do that because of my experience roleplaying. He immediately thought of the sexy dress-up kind and had a small heart attack (even though when we first met I explained rping to him, but he prolly just forgot). XD

    Another time I was openly bashed because of rping. I was called weird, rping was called retarded and an object for internet weirdos to do their pervy things or track people down to do pervy things, and was otherwise put down. I just about punched him for being a close-minded jerk for assuming such things.

    In your experience: How often do people think of the kinky kind before you explain it to them? How often do people think it's cool and join in? Or how often do people just look at you funny and slowly back away?
  2. Well, my wife first learned that I RP online basically the first day we met. I told her all about myself so she knew what she was getting into, which included things like: I like role playing so I play D&D and I enjoy video gaming. She wasn't judgmental and she actually didn't even think about the sexy type of role play. She had never tried role playing, tabletop/online role play, but she was open to the idea. Well, she decided to join me a couple nights at a friend's house where we stayed up all night and played tabletop role plays and video games. She actually enjoyed it! She enjoyed watching us so much that she was compelled to make a character (ie I make her a character) and actually join in. This was back in high school, four years ago, and now we host table top RP night occasionally (recently stopped hosting for lack of a campaign) and she loves it when we all get together and RP!

    EDIT: I also showed her soem of the online role plays I did back then and she found them fun and interesting to read, though she hasn't actually joined one...yet...
  3. Yeah... This is actually relevant to me because I don't tell my girlfriend that I do it at all, because she would get flashback's of all the LARPers on our undergraduate quad hitting each other with foam swords -.-. Before I even dated her she saw me and some friends playing D&D and that was bad enough, though I think she loves me enough to get over it D:

    I'll tell her... someday...

    *No plans at all on when that is*

    I'm just a humble man that lifts weights, loves his ferrets, enjoys cars, video games, reading, and other nerdy habits. **nod nod*
  4. Haha, LARPing is what most people I encounter think about actually, so I can see your fear. I think that if she knows that you are into nerdy things, RPing is one of the less "HEY LOOK IM A NERD" activities that us nerds participate in so she might be understanding. It's easy to hide from the public, i guess is what I'm saying. I hope that when the day comes that you do open up to her, she is understanding and might actually join in :)
  5. 0% chance of that man. She's dyslexic as hell, she hates reading and writing. hahah.
  6. Well damn, lol. She might play a tabletop? You'd just have to manage her character for her.
  7. Only one of my partners to date had to have roleplaying explained to him. I remember sitting him down and basically telling him that if he spoke before I was done explaining how I regarded my hobby I would smack him; he liked to interrupt people.

    I told him that I regarded forum roleplaying as basically collaborative storywriting, as that was how I was initially introduced to it. Some people like to act, some like to write their own stories, some like to draw, paint, play sports, all in the name of self-expression. I enjoyed writing, but I preferred the dynamic that you get from multiple writers working together, the unexpected but lovely branching storylines that seem to pop out of nowhere to flesh out and add to the main plot.

    I think I probably wasn't nearly as eloquent as that - and it ain't very eloquent to begin with! - but it got the point across and he even actually decided to have a try. He was more partial to the feel you got from tabletop than from forum RP, but I think when we broke up he lost interest completely.

    To be fair, while most of my partners have been RPers in some way, shape or form, for the most part I tend to keep it to myself. Not many people I talk to seem to get the concept - I know at least 4 guys that would Godmode the hell out of everything if I ever tried to get them to roleplay. I asked them for advice writing a history for a character... "DROP A NUCLEAR BOMB ON HER AND HAVE HER BECOME SUPERWOMAN" was basically all I got out of that. No way related. Last time I ever brought it up.
  8. and this is why the Iwaku lovin' starts ^.~ XD
  9. ... The first Roleplay I've ever done. I didn't know what the hell I was doing and made nob like moves and posts that people started to say that I shouldn't be Roleplaying.

    The true reason why I Rp is because I go under stages of stress and depression very easily and this helps me escape my daily life, a way to leave this planet's problems and drama and fill my mind with my own drama with stories lasting for an infinity. Right now, I'm as depressed as I was when I started Rp, mostly because last year my Girlfriend broke up with me close to the time it's getting to now. I loved her with every inch in my heart and she had the nerve to tell me that I wasn't nurturing her enough, as if I wasn't giving her enough attention that she wanted. For the love of god, I spent every waking minute while in school with her and it still wasn't enough for her. She broke my heart with a note not given to me directly... a Fucking Second Hand Note!...

    Sorry, all of this talk is bringing back feelings I don't want to feel personally, I'd rather have my characters feel them, not me.
  10. That is perfect. <3 I had a hard time explaining it, especially with a 160-character limit, so I just said I'd explain better later when we hang out. xD
  11. I've explained it to guys and girls- I've gotten mixed reviews.... I think when I explained it to my current bf, He was still shaking off the shock from me telling him I didn't mind if he gamed- his last girlfriend hated it and would yell at him.

    We've all got tendencies that we have that some other people like, and others dislike- explaining it is worth it in some cases, in others- just leave it be.
  12. When I first started roleplaying and I was telling people what I did, they all thought it was kinky sex stuff. D:< So after awhile I just started calling it collaborative writing, or story chains. Now it's much easier for them to understand than roleplaying. 8D

    The majority of the people I dated I met online ON these roleplaying sites. XD So, I never had a problem with the guys thinking it was weird. And those that didn't did try to give it a shot, but inevitably didn't care for it. Gibs, funnily enough, registered on my site just to troll. >>; And years later we ended up playing together for a little while and then hooking up.

    We don't roleplay together now, though. It's kinda weird for me. I get him in real life, I don't need to roleplay romances with him. Plus, I totally keep dorking out and thinking he's reading the posts with his narrator voices. D:
  13. My ex, Karl, would treat me funny about roleplaying. At first, he thought I was talking tabletop. Which was inaccurate; I gave that up years ago. Whenever he'd see me on Iwaku or typing up a character outline in a wordpad, he'd be like "Wtf you doin'?" He understood I was part of a writing community, but didn't quite see how it was fun for me, I guess. Every time I tried to involve him in it, he'd be like 'meh' and shrug it off. It bothered me a lot that he always made me try to like the things he liked, but put less effort into liking my hobbies.

    Who I'm with right meow used to roleplay. I wish he still would. He's a damn good writer. ;_;
  14. I have only told a few people, not because they wouldn't understand but because I just haven't thought about bringing it up. Most of my friends are people that likes to write but they aren't the roleplaying writing type xD Those I have told have understood it and they just see it as writing a book but doing it together with another person, but they haven't started to roleplay themselves.

    I know a few people that does roleplaying, but that is the kind of roleplays were you uses dices and board games to make the story xD It was so funny when I told my brother that I had started to roleplay and he thought I meant board games so I fast explained what kind of roleplaying it was.

    "But that's no fun, it's more fun if you let a dice decide your destiny since if you do it yourself then you can make everything become perfect. What's the fun with that?" He said something like that.
    "But we put in a lot of plot twists and such things to make it more fun, and mostly we don't know what the other person will do so we have to adapt when the other person makes a choice." I said something like that xD

    Well, he didn't like my roleplaying and I think his roleplaying is pretty boring x3 So at least we agree :D We agree that the other one has a boring kind of roleplay :D hahahha xD

    Anyways, everyone I have told have understood, but haven't been interested. I only know one of my friends that does this kind of roleplaying and he only does it in Swedish and on sites where they all are in the same place with only one character and a really strict bio. I don't really like that kind of roleplaying since I want to be in different places in every roleplay, be new people and sometimes do magic sometimes do historical and so on. :9

    Gosh this became so long xD
  15. Most of my exes weren't privileged enough to know about my Iwaku.
    There was a certain degree of separation I put between them finding out that much about my personal life.
    It says more about them and how I felt about them than about the people on Iwaku, because I care about the site and it's a part of me that I just don't share with that many people because it's something personal. There are some people that I tell, it's not a secret, it's just that I am a slightly private person in actuality.