Partners In Crime

potassiumboron

~I'm drinking coffee on a trampoline~
Original poster
MYTHICAL MEMBER
Posting Speed
  1. Multiple posts per day
  2. 1-3 posts per day
  3. One post per day
Online Availability
3pm - 1am (GMT / BST)
Writing Levels
  1. Beginner
  2. Elementary
  3. Intermediate
  4. Adept
  5. Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Male
  2. Female
  3. Nonbinary
  4. Transgender
  5. No Preferences
Genres
Monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality, slice-of-life (modern or set in past, usually with some twists)
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For the past two years, Theodore Roberts had been more stressed than he could ever imagine being.

When he first sent in his application to the FBI, he knew that the job wasn't going to be easy; he was smart enough to realise that he would be under immense time constrains and piles of pressure if he ever got his dream job. However, he always believed that he thrived off pressure. He thought that he could move past any obstacle that came his way with success and, for most of his career as an agent, he was ultimately proved correct in that estimation. Plenty of tough cases had landed on his desk, only to be solved by him and his small team. Some of the cases took a while to crack, others definitely made him work, but they were all, in the end, solved in relatively good time.

And then Riezo's case landed on his desk and thus began two whole years of stress. He often followed the dead leads planted by Riezo, ultimately falling time and time again in the younger man's game. He was taunted and teased, whether it be openly with notes or subtly with tainted evidence at crime scenes. No matter what he did, Riezo always seemed one step ahead of him, taunting every move he made.

Eventually, Theodore's persistence and dedication paid off when he finally got his hands on the criminal he had been chasing for two whole years. The feeling of seeing him sentenced and taken to jail for a lengthy term was indescribable but, after plenty of celebratory parties both within his workplace and outside it, he knew everything would go back to normal. Just because Riezo was caught didn't mean he could relax; there were plenty of other criminals to catch and put to justice. Little did he realise that just months later, Riezo would contact him, seeking a meeting and promising the young agent that it was worth his time attending.

Curiosity got the better of him and, whether it was wise or not, he decided to see what Riezo was apparently eager to tell him.

Before the agent's arrival, Albie was sat opposite his best friend, silently frowning to himself at the situation. He wasn't fond of being without his friend, that was true, but he knew there were risks involved for him if Riezo did somehow manage to convince the agent that he could be a worthy consultant to him. Unlike Riezo, Albie wasn't particularly known to the authorities. He had a variety of aliases that he used to prevent anyone knowing who he was. Hell, he visited Riezo in prison under one of those aliases, pretending to be a lawyer consulting his client.

If his best (and only real) friend was going to be working under close eyes of the FBI, he knew there was a greater risk of them discovering who he was and how he had helped Riezo every step of the way. He could feel guilty that Riezo was behind bars when they were both as guilty as one another, but he also knew he was particularly generous - nobody really knew his name whereas Riezo was notorious amongst art forgers and thieves like them for 'his' work.

Then again, if it meant Riezo was able to come out of jail and get back to what they were best at, then he would risk exposure. It was worth it to have his friend back properly.

"I'm sure you'll convince him," he began slowly, setting out a few papers on the desk to keep up the guise of being there on some sort of business. The smart suit and his professional appearance would only help him so much; a few props would always help cement the lie. Besides, Albie was theatrical; he liked acting and putting on a show, even if it was something as small as pretending to be a lawyer in a prison for a few minutes.

"No, I'm certain you will. God, working for the feds? You aren't going to bail out on me and become like them permanently, are you? What happens if you decide you like being good, Riezo? What if you fall in love with all that justice crap and slap some handcuffs on me? I'm sorry for being concerned but, you know, it's a pretty big fucking deal, pal. I ain't losing my only friend to the fucking feds, that ain't happening."

 
“You look cute in that suit, you should wear it more often,” he immediately replied with his notoriously sly smile, his cuffed hands holding up his hands as he locked eyes with the other. It was well known even to his best friend that it was hard to really turn off his charismatic personality, even when he wanted to - Albie was no exception. Adjusting himself a tad with a sigh, he did let his smile fade a tad and follow it with a roll of his eyes.

The last few months were interesting for the art thief. He had never expected to be caught, having let his arrogance get the best of him admittedly. Not once did he get his friend involve, which was just proof of how much he cared for the other - if it was anyone else, he would have ratted them out almost instantly to lessen his sentence. He didn’t need to, evidently, because he was certain he was going to get out.

“I’ll be fine, Albie, relax. As long as you put everything where it’s supposed to be, I’ll be out. I’ve got the name of another thief, I’ll just blame it on her and you’ll be fine,” he reassured in a murmur, his eyes glancing up at the cameras that followed. “As for the ‘turning good’ thing, I’m disappointed. You should know by now that I’m not going to stop doing my favorite hobby, silly. Not to mention I’ll be getting paid quite a bit,” he reminded before letting out a chuckle.

“Don’t worry, Albie. I’m not going to let some obnoxious feds make a fool of me like that and just let them off the hook,” he reassured. “I think this’ll be fun - we can have fun again. I can’t imagine how boring things have been for the past few months. We can put that all aside, get some extra cash for me cooperating with the feds and we can just get back to having a good time. Like I said, you just need to have everything in place. I need them to think I know more than I do, yeah?”
 
"I still don't know if I like it, Z. It won't end well. I want you out of here but I'm sure we could come up with something that doesn't involve the feds," continued Albie, tapping his fingers impatiently against the files. The whole plan did make sense to him and he was generally giving his backing to it, if only because he wanted his friend out at his side where he belonged, but that didn't mean he was completely happy with it. He had reservations, especially given that both he and Riezo could end up imprisoned for lengthy terms if it all did go wrong. Contrary to what his friend seemed to think, Albie knew he was going to inevitably be identified by the agents Riezo would be acquainting himself with.

"...That guy hates you, he'll make your life a living hell if he does agree to this. You aren't going to be best buddies with the agent, Riezo. I won't allow that, anyway. I'm not afraid to play a little dirty if you do get close to him-- you know this. I'm the only real friend you need, and vice versa-- so yeah, the last few months have been boring. I charmed my way into some fancy elitist parties, but it just isn't the same without you--"

"...This had better be good. I don't like taking time out of my schedule to visit inmates I've sent away, Riezo. I assume you want to make confessions, to clear your conscience. I don't know why else your lawyer would be in attendance," began Theodore as the agent finally made an appearance, calmly nodding to Albie who he immediately assumed was the real deal. He had no reason to doubt Albie - he had no idea who he was and had never had any inkling that Riezo had a partner he worked with. He always assumed Riezo was working independently, so as far as he was concerned, Albie was nothing more than a lawyer made present to take notes and advise his client.

Carefully setting his phone down neatly beside him, he took a sip from his water and waited patiently for someone to begin talking, though his own impatience got in the way of that.

"I haven't got time to waste away like you have, let's get to the point. I'm here because you insisted it would be worth my time; they told me you were desperate to talk to me. If this happens to be another one of your games, I could make your life here more difficult for wasting a federal agent's valuable time-- your lawyer should know that."
 
“I was told by my lawyer and others that if I offered valuable information we could discuss a plea deal,” Riezo explained as he leaned against the table, his attention fully locked on the agent. It took ever fiber of his being not to tease the agent or show any sign of the true intentions, hence his face completely being flat once the other settled down.

It wasn’t difficult, what with his ability to manipulate his emotions. That didn’t mean he didn’t have any urges to chuckle. Cracking his knuckles, he shot a glance to Albie quickly with a subtle raised brow of reassurance. He wouldn’t let his only friend be sent to jail because of him, no way in hell. He already fucked up once and it left a bad taste in his mouth. So, leaning in a bit closer, he glanced at the guards warily.

“I know who stole the Manet,” he admitted. “I know who did it, too. I’d be willing to let in on that information if you let me out of here. I have no problem negotiating, officer. It benefits both of us, yes? Besides, being in here has taught me that doing all the thieving is so muc effort only to have me end up here.”
 
"You were informed incorrectly. I won't be offering you any sorts of deals because you've already been sentenced. You should have been more open and honest before the sentencing, instead of arrogantly believing you would miraculously evade justice. I didn't work my ass off for two years catching you just to have you think you could get off like this-- that's not happening. I'll find the missing Manet, just like I found all the millions of dollars worth of art without your assistance. If that's all...?"

"And how long did it take you to find all that art? Weeks? Riezo has experience in this world, I'm sure he'd be a valuable asset to your team if you used him correctly. A consultancy job is what I'd propose, and if you agree, I'm sure he'll offer up information on the Manet piece you've been searching for, as guarantee that he's willing to assist you in return for his freedom. I think that sounds perfectly reasonable," began Albie from the other end of the table, his speech, vocabulary and mannerisms adapting to the alias he had created for himself a year or two ago. There were people he had charmed at parties who knew him as the lawyer guise, and he had a whole personality to accompany it. He had perfected it now, so he found himself easily slipping into character whenever it was required of him.

That said, it was difficult to hide the utter contempt he had for the authoritative figure. Just dealing with the prison guards was bad enough. Dealing with Theodore, someone who had spent two years trying (and ultimately managing) to arrest his best friend, was proving to be nigh-on impossible and it was only when he took a deep breath and reminded himself of what was at stake that he somehow managed to keep his cool.

"...You have some nerve, don't you? How about you tell me where the Manet piece is first. I'll get some of my agents to chase the lead up, and if you're telling the truth, we can discuss this consultancy idea further. I'm not getting my hopes up, of course. It wouldn't surprise me if you have no idea where the art is and you're bluffing your way into freedom-- the fact you think I would be naive enough to agree immediately is astounding," snapped the agent as he glared back at the criminal, having no real right to snap at Albie. He didn't like the patronising tone the man had, but he assumed he was a bona fide lawyer. It was hardly professional to snap at him, however much he wanted to.

"Where's the Manet piece, Riezo. Put your money where your mouth is and tell me where it is before I even consider anything else."
 
"There's a three-story building right at the edge of Mother Gaston Boulevard. It's red brick, a little run-down. On the third floor, there will be the Manet. It's the hiding spot of a former acquaintance of mine who is still in the business," he replied easily, not skipping a beat as he stared at the agent. Straightening his back, he offered a shrug before glancing over at Albie. "You can believe me or not but unless you look there, you aren't getting your painting back," he boldly exclaimed, forcing back his smile.

"As I said, the whole crime thing made me realize just how much effort went into the whole thing. I would rather just be home and work on my own things. Have my loft back, be able to spend time with my cat... simple, boring activities," he drawled with a genuine frown. If it weren't for Albie, he knew his tuxedo cat would have been toast on account that it was so dependent on Reizo. It was one of the few things in love that he enjoyed that weren't related to crime and he genuinely missed him.

"I find it a bit selfish of you to not take my advice just because you're petty while letting a perfectly good piece like the Le déjeuner dans l'atelier go, Theodore. Go ahead, let your ego be stroked, but I wouldn't lie to you-you don't understand how much I detest it in here," he grumbled bitterly with a pout, articulating the French to the stereotypical 'art connoisseur' arrogance despite his light Italian accent. "So yes, it's up to you. I've talked with my lawyer and we both think that you'd be an idiot for not taking this opportunity."
 
"Agent Roberts; it's not Theodore to you. It's Agent Roberts. I recommend learning that and getting yourself familiar with showing the right respect to me if you want me to take your offer seriously," the agent mumbled back in his typical stern fashion, hesitating for a fair few seconds before, once again, curiosity got the best of him. The information could turn out to be completely false and, by following up on it, he could be planting himself back in one of the other's infamous little games, but it was completely irresponsible not to chase it up.

For half an hour, the man was out of the room, waiting on calls from his agents who had been sent to investigate the third floor of the building. Once discovering the Manet painting and relaying the information to their boss, Theodore was genuinely caught by surprise. He had been so certain that this was all some game that the prospect of it being true had bypassed him. Being confronted with that now confused him and it was only after a strong coffee that he pulled himself together and returned to the criminal.

"...What is it you want? A consultancy position? I could push through paperwork and get that sorted out, but I don't trust you. I don't think you'll suddenly be a good player for us, shopping in people who do the same thing you used to. Call me naive, but I don't think a leopard changes its spots," he murmured stoically, biting his lip nonetheless in contemplation. Without Riezo's information, he was aware that the Manet painting wouldn't have been found by them - the building wasn't somewhere they were even considering to search. It was that alone that made him warm to the idea of consultancy, however wary he still was.

"I'd have to put a tracking anklet on you, you know? So I can monitor your movements--"

"That won't be an issue, my client is eager to help in return for his freedom. An anklet will show you that he has no desire to do anything other than lead a good life from now on," hummed Albie helpfully. He had already considered the possibility of an anklet, after all, and it was hardly a problem. He could tap into the highest security vaults and find classified information on websites with little to no struggle. Manipulating the anklet's data output wasn't going to be an issue. "So we're agreed then? Wonderful. I can take my client home now, then?"

"...Sign this. You report to me tomorrow morning at 9am sharp, not a minute later. We'll get started then-- I'm giving you a chance here, Riezo. Don't ruin this, you won't get a better opportunity to change your life than this."
 
"Thank you, sir," he replied simply with a smile as he wasted no time in signing the paper. The plan was set and everything seemed to have fallen into place, why stick around in the hellhole of this prison when he could be home among the things he cared about. So, with a scribble of his true signature - as compared to that of the paintings he signed - he eased back and patiently waited for his hands to be uncuffed and his things returned to him.

Once back at home, Reizo wasted no time in hurrying to his tuxedo cat eagerly, cooing when said cat hopped into his arms effortlessly. Reizo had been called cruel, heartless, and emotionless by some... but very, very few saw just how genuinely compassionate he could really be, and his cat was one of the biggest reasons for his gentle nature. Kissing the cat's forehead, he couldn't help but smile wide at the space.

"Oh, Albie, you're a life saver!" He praised as he set the cat down again, only briefly frowning upon seeing all the expensive paint he had accidentally left open before his arrest having dried up. "We'll have to restock, huh? Unfortunate. Listen, we're going to have real fun. Since I've been kicked out of school, I guess I'll have quite a bit of time on my hand. I assume you'll be joining me? Oh, speaking of which, we need to celebrate! We should go down to the liquor store, buy some champagne and just get a little wasted. I've been dry for too long, even some cheap merlot would be nice right now," he whined dramatically before taking a seat on his bed at the top of the loft, sighing in content.
 
"You read my mind," smiled Albie as he brandished a bottle of chilled champagne from the fridge, having known that morning that his friend would be joining him for a glass later on in the day. Once the plan had been established, he knew immediately that it would work - he just didn't know how easy it would be.

The scene was one he found himself grinning at as he poured out the champagne. It wasn't just for the fact that Reizo was out of prison; it was the fact that the moment reminded him of how far they had come, and how far they could still go. Only two or three years ago, they were in Albie's small, cramped apartment, sharing the cheapest, nastiest bottle of wine he could find at the corner shop. Now they were able to crack open a bottle of champagne and drink out of fine crystal glasses.

Albie didn't come from considerable wealth, or even from a moderate background. His own parents didn't have careers, living on handouts and state cheques to help them get by. Before he and Reizo formulated their plans into art crime, he had been juggling two jobs, having avoided college because of the desperate need for immediate cash, and an education would only have added intense stress to his life he didn't need. It was why the progress with Reizo meant so much to him - he had no desire to return to that life now he had had a taste of the other side of things.

"As much as I'd love to enjoy ourselves tonight, I think it's best you stay here and not do anything other than drink some champagne. I'm sure that fed is watching you, making sure you don't do anything... wrong. You don't get your tag on until tomorrow, this is like a test to see if you're going to stick to your promise. Best not to rush into having some proper fun until you've earned his trust," he wisely reminded, taking a seat at the kitchen island with a small sip from his glass. He wasn't overly fond of being too emotional, but if anyone was going to invoke that in him, it was Reizo.

"...I'm glad you're back, you know? Not to get too soppy about it, but you're the only person I... can trust and you're the only person I like in this city. It wasn't fun heading out without you. I tried to have fun but it's just not the same," he huffed dramatically, resting a leg over the other. "Who else is going to pretend to be my boyfriend to ward away women I don't want to see again?"
 
“No one - at least, no one as cute as me,” he answered simply as he hopped onto the kitchen counter, letting his feet hang off a tad as he wiggled his brows. “No need to get all emotional... though it is nice to see you so upset over lil’ ol’ me,” He cooed affectionately before raising his glass and taking s sip on his own.

How he and Albie Met was a bit blurry, admittedly. After all, he may have been originally living in a shitty apartment but he was living there through his parents’ allowance. He didn’t have to work a conventional job ever, and was enjoying college life and the classes it offered. While he couldn’t really remember, he knew that Albie was the only person he really cared to spend time with, whether it be for business or to casually spend time in a local gallery together. He didn’t really know how to explain the emotions he felt towards the other but he knew they were ones he never felt towards his other ‘friends’.

“Alright, alright. We can relax, get drunk and I can catch up on some television,” he suggested. “Oh, I wish you had bought some cheeses and whatnot, have a boujie mini cheese tasting. Alas, I don’t imagine you had thought about that...” he slowly spoke, though eagerly looked over at his friend. “The food in jail was horrendous. I would love to shove it into that stupid agent’s face, make him eat it.”
 
"You do realise that part of your masterplan involves you actually being nice to that man? You can't necessarily get away with treating him horrendously, Z. He could easily ship you back to prison to finish your sentence. You'd better learn to put your hatred of him aside, hm? I won't watch you go back to prison because you couldn't control yourself. I meet people I hate and I have to sometimes pretend as though they're amazing. It's not impossible," he added as he finally loosened the tie around his neck and made the effort to ruffling up his hair, the smart way it had been styled being completely ugly as far as he was concerned. He wasn't against donning a suit, but he often only did it when he had a job to do.

People tended to give him what he wanted if he looked a certain way. In reality, despite the lifestyle he lived that often consisted of charming high-flying members in New York (albeit only to get information or, at the very least, their wallets), Albie was much more at home in some plain jeans and a sweater. Of course, he only let himself relax that much around Reizo. He had dated a few girls, but they never meant that much to him. He was always too guarded to let them into his life properly because he had nothing really in common with them.

He could date a woman in the business, but he was less likely to trust someone like that. It wasn't rare to have someone in the business back-stab their supposed friends just to get ahead. Again, he only trusted Reizo not to do that to him, so a fulfilling relationship always seemed out of the question.

"I've been living on Chinese food from down the street-- I'm not into fancy cheeses, you know that. I'm happy with some takeaway stuff, it's what I've had the last few months. I think I had a steak dinner once, as a treat," he shrugged, tugging his tie off completely and tossing it aimlessly behind him. "...I still can't believe you'll be working with them; the FBI. Entering the lion's den. It's... it doesn't feel right, Z. I still don't think this'll end well-- I have a sixth sense with this sort of thing."
 
“Oh, relax! It’ll be fun, Albie! Do you know how boring it was in prison?! The most exciting thing I did was watch the news and that’s just depressing. This’ll spice our lives up a bit and you won’t have to rely on shitty Chinese food,” he scoffed before hopping off the counter and wandering to his living room area, laying back on the white couch before motioning the other to follow and relax on the opposite recliner.

“You don’t have a sixth sense, you’re just paranoid,” he insisted with a wave before letting out a chuckle. The whole situation made him beyond giddy, after all. “I knew this would all be fine. All I have to do is get a little bit chummy with Theodore and we’ll be enjoying our lives like we used to,” he murmured before easily finishing off the glass.

“I’ll have to get a suit, won’t I?” He suddenly commented, his smile faltering a tad. He was never one for a proper suit, preferring his equally as fancy turtlenecks and pressed pants. “That’s unfortunate. Do you have any I could borrow? We also have to go paint shopping soon as well... I can’t work with dried cadmium red, yes? I’ll have to buy more medium...”
 
"You want to borrow one of my very fine Italian suits? It may have escaped your notice, my dear Reizo, but you're 5 inches shorter than I am and a great deal less built. Unless you want to look like you've shrunken, I recommend buying your own - or, you know, charming your way into getting your hands on one, like I do," he grinned, flopping onto the recliner beside his friend with an affectionate pat on the cat's head. He was naturally close to whatever pet Reizo acquired, bu spending months caring solely for the cat did mean he had grown close to it; as close as he was with his own pet tortoise, in fact.

Despite the wealth he could amass if he opted to sell every item he had stolen over the years, Albie wasn't fond of selling any of the treasures. He had his own money outside that, through general theft and selling smaller items that he felt no personal connection to, but he didn't like spending it if he could avoid it. Thus, most of his time was spent manipulating others to help him. He had no problem adopting a persona that made others feel charitable and sympathetic for him - he had vintage suits stocked in his wardrobe to show for it, amongst other things.

"It's not that your short, of course. It's just I'm ridiculously tall. I can find you a suit if you wanted, though. I have contacts," he smiled quietly, propping his feet up on the coffee table, humming in appreciation at how nice the moment was. "I did have a date tonight. I wouldn't have scheduled it in but she had to move things about and this was her only night off-- but you're more important. She is the mayor's niece, I thought it'd be worthwhile getting to her apartment and seeing what art she had there... right? It'd be worth chatting her up to see what she's got hoarded up in there? While you play at being the good guy, I'll get on with some actual plans."
 
“Ah, go ahead and abandon me,” he sighed dramatically, a hand to his forehead in feigned upset. “I go months without seeing your handsome face and you drop me like last year’s runway? Tragic. All for a cute girl, too,” he moaned, though a sly smile grew as the cat rubbed against Albie’s leg on the way to his owner’s lap.

“Go ahead. It’s not like I can go out and celebrate on my own tonight, unfortunately. I’ll just order a pizza and enjoy myself here. We can stake out that girl for anything important, like you said. It’ll be nice to just relax. I’m sure there’s some good paint left so I’ll just work on some of my own art - I’ve got some ideas,” he admitted before rolling his eyes, shrugging the cat’s fur. “Just be back for tomorrow morning, I need to renew my subway pass.”
 
"She's more than cute; she's beautiful. You know I'm a sucker for a girl with green eyes, always have been. Considering no girl even glanced in my direction in school, I think I'm entitled to enjoy their company now they're drooling over me. It's only fair that I get to enjoy myself while I can," boasted Albie with his own smile at the cat's movements. Just because Albie tended to prefer staying out of the limelight, as evidenced by his choice to let Reizo often take 100% credit for their work, didn't mean he was a wallflower. He could be boastful and extremely arrogant though, in his eyes, he had every reason to.

He was talented and had worked hard for everything he now had. If that wasn't a cause to boast, what was?

"I can see her tomorrow, Reizo. She's desperate to see me, I'm sure the girl can wait another day. You're more important than some girl, mostly because I kinda need you for our career. There's also the small fact you're my best friend," he snorted playfully, his eyes straying to the city outside the windows. "...We do need to do something soon, though. Something fun-- god, remember that time we stole that Roman vase from the museum? We need to do something like that again, that was fucking amazing. I can tamper with your tracking anklet but you'll have to keep wearing it-- it'll be cute, like a fashion accessory. You could probably make it work."
 
"Maybe I'll put some glitter on it and really look like a walking stereotype," he sarcastically replied before grabbing the bottle and pouring himself another glass. "Look, like I said I wouldn't be offended. I'm content in just relaxing here for a bit, get readjusted to modern society or whatever those crime shows depict criminals. If a girl matters so much to you, I don't mind... " he hummed, snatching the discarded remote finally to flip through the channels.

"Do you use your real name?" He questioned curiously, brows raised. "Or do you use an alias? I think it's a good representation of how much you truly care for her, yes? See, I can no longer pretend to be someone else after that trial, I'm permanently me. You get to traipse around the place, introducing yourself as whatever you'd like whilst I'm stuck being boring ol' me. Enjoy that freedom, Albie," he insisted, imitating that of an old man at the end. "Seriously, just go. I won't be upset, you deserve to let loose finally now that all of that drama is over~"
 
"Like hell do I use my real name. I'm not stupid. Besides, I like using aliases. I wanted to be an actor when I was younger, you know that. This is... sort of acting; they don't know who I really am, hm? I like that, it's entertaining. It's the only fucking entertainment I've had while you were stupid enough to get yourself locked up," he jabbed back, smugly folding his arms across his broad chest at the light insult. He knew it wasn't entirely his friend's fault and he definitely held guilt over the situation, but that didn't prevent him lightly playing with him about it.

If the situations were reversed, he had no doubt that Reizo would toy around with him about it, and he wouldn't mind. However, if it were anyone else that teased him about something like that, they wouldn't get away unharmed. He often described himself as a pacifist, but there was only so such bullshit he could take from people.

"I'd rather stay here with you, silly. We both know that if I left you to go on a date, you'd hold it over my head for weeks and make me beg for forgiveness-- I've learnt my lessons, Z. Just chill, I'm alright here with you. Besides, I have a few files on that agent for you to browse through, yeah? He's got files on you, it's only fair for you to have one on him~!"
 
“Well, let me see it,” he insisted, holding out his hand expectantly as he locked his eyes on the television. He forgot just how nice his flatscreen was compared to the tiny one at the corner of his cell. “Gimme something to entertain myself tonight. I wanna see all the juicy details on this man. If I’m going to have to metaphorically and possibly literally suck his dick to get on his good side, I want a base of knowledge to play off of because all I know right now is that he’s a boring fed,” he grumbled, his eyes rolling.

“I can’t wait to go to sleep in my bed, without some creep watching me. They put me in with like, a weird sexual assaulant. Luckily I managed to establish that I didn’t want to deal with him when I put him in a headlock and broke his nose,” he admitted before laughing lightly. “Nah, it can be just me and Tux, and you can sleep on the couch if you want...”
 
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"I just get the couch? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate Italian leather at the best of times, but I think I mean more to you than that. Why can't I come and share the bed with you like we used to before all of this fancy stuff? I know I'm hot, but I trust you not to jump my bones in the middle of the night, Z," he grinned playfully, rummaging in his briefcase for the file he had taken it upon himself to piece together. He knew from Theodore's testimony in court that he had plenty of information on his friend, so wasn't it only fair to have one on the agent too?

"He's 27, born in New Jersey, has a sister who's a model, parents are pretty bog-standard, normal guys... He's boring, Z," he admitted as he handed across the file, grunting to himself at how uneventful the agent really did seem to be. He expected to unearth some juicy secrets on the fed, but, predictably, the man was as clean-cut as they come.

"I found an old dating profile of his before he joined the FBI, that was pretty funny, but that's all. He's fucking dull. Don't even think about using something sexual to win his trust. He's probably as boring in bed as he is outside it; he'll bore 'ya to death, pal."
 
“Hey, maybe he’s actually super intense in bed and that’s how he lets out all of his pent up rage. I don’t mean to be rude but I have a feeling that he’s completely holding in all of his problems. No one can be that boring, Albie,” Riezo insisted in disbelief, his eyes now landing back on the other in genuine shock. While he was far from anything similar to an agent, he always just thought that they at least had some interesting reason to join the service. Rolling his eyes, he instead rolled to face the other fully now.

“I mean, I have no problem sleeping with you again, just don’t be surprised if I cuddle up to you. I mean, I’ve been pretty lacking in the affection department, yeah?” He admitted before groaning. “I mean, seriously. I missed you more than you probably think, Albert.”