Part 1: There's something wrong with all of us

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Bahiyya, Jul 9, 2015.

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  1. [​IMG][​IMG]
    So, right about now, the 'General Chatting' section is my best friend. I have held in so many feelings (doesn't everyone sometimes), and I just need a release from some of my stress off. By doing that, I will let out some of my pet peeves. Some of them old, some new, some common, some different. Blah.

    I hate when people let the door close in your face WHEN THEY SEE YOU WALKING TOWARDS THE DOOR. were so lazy that you couldn't spare 10 seconds of your seemingly precious time - when you're probably going to buy food and pig out all day - just to hold the door open for me? One pigeon-headed jackass decided that he was going to give me a backwards glance...whilst he walked away from the closing door in front of me. How rude can you stand to be? I often hold the door open for several people, just standing and waiting, but you can wait for one person, one living body to walk through the door?

    Organization and cleanliness is my thing. I like couch cushions to be fluffed a certain way. With that being said, I hate when people sit one ass cheek on one cushion and their other cheek on the other cushion. You are making those sides of cushions sink into the frickin' couch, stop it! Why can you not just sit in the center of ONE cushion?

    The audacity of people to just...*sighs*...walk out of a bathroom - especially a public bathroom - without washing their hands! What made you think you were so special that you don't have to clean your hands off? And then, you're going around shaking other people's hands when they don't even know that you slipped up. You wonder why you're always sick and other people get sick around you. Lower the chances for us all and wash your hands.

    I hate those moments on the Internet when people are arguing, and one person says, "I wasn't even talking to you. Stay off my comments." *snotty voice, flips hair* Oh, shut up. For one, if you didn't want an answer back, you shouldn't have posted it in a public place. What person posts something stupid on YouTube and expects no one to have two cents ready? And the comments have a "Reply" button for a reason.

    This may sound insensitive, but hey, this is my rant. I hate if and when a teenager finds out they are adopted, they get all, "I don't know who I am anymore." Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph hush yourself. Yes, your adoptive parents should have told you this earlier. Yes, it's natural to want to know who you are, and by all means, go for it. But never forget who actually raised you and loved you. For whatever reason your real parents did it, they gave you to a family that wanted the chance to love you. And don't automatically think that your real parents didn't want you, there could lots of other reasons. Like, they thought it was the best option because they didn't think they could provide. Give the real AND the adoptive parents the chance to explain their side of the story.

    I hate when people constantly take my kindness for weakness. You know what I learned? Never let someone hold something against you or over your head. If there is someone in your life who constantly uses you but is never willing to stop doing the things that bother you most? Let. Them. Go. You can't change people, but you surely can decide whether or not they get the pleasure of being in your life.
    To be continued.....
    #1 Bahiyya, Jul 9, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2015
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  2. /claps
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  3. Bruh, if the way people sit on couches pisses you off, you really have to wonder who actually has a problem they need to fix ^^; I get it's a rant and you're just venting, but this is a good time to consider why these things actually upset you.

    For instance, I hold doors for most people if I have the time. If I'm running five minutes late though or rushing from class to class, you better hope the door doesn't catch you on your face. Sometimes people are too busy, or they were never brought up with those manners in the first place. It seems kind of silly to get upset about it though, since what did you really lose by them acting that way? Two, maybe three seconds of your life reopening the door? Are you such an important person that your two or three seconds are more valuable than their time holding the door for you? I hold the door for most people as I said, but it isn't necessarily because I feel that they 'deserve' it. I do it to be nice. Unless you have some sort of disability, there is no reason you cannot open the door yourself. Even if they spent their extra time they saved by not holding the door pigging out on food, that's their choice. Everyone's time is equally precious, wouldn't you say?

    I'm really not trying to dog on you or belittle how you feel, but I think that a little bit of perspective never hurt anyone. I'm sure many of your habits are someone else's pet peeve. For instance, you mentioned you are very clean and organized. I'm not. I'm sure if we had to share a work area, we'd get on each other's nerves very quickly.

    That's part of being human though. We all have our own unique quirks and traits. I understand that this is only part one of a rant, but if your biggest issues consist of stuff like this, I'd still say you are very lucky. I do hope you feel better though~
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  4. You ranting amuses me. I look forward to future parts.

    About the teenagers getting angsty over finding out they're adopted though, it actually makes a lot of sense if you understand developmental psychology. It probably doesn't make it any less irritating, because I find that shit annoying even though I get it, but it's worth knowing anyway. Generally speaking, the teenage years are basically the "who am I?" phase of human psychological development. The reason teens go through all sorts of phases and switching from clique to clique is that, whether or not they consciously realize it (most don't, thus the "it's not a phase mom, it's who I really am!" cliche response when they're questioned about their latest phase), they're trying to figure out who the hell they are and who they want to be and where they fit into the social hierarchy. For someone who's already going through the mess of trying to discover and/or establish a self identity, something big like finding out their parents are not in fact their biological parents is a huge blob of confusion thrown into the already confused soup of angst that is the average teen psyche. That's why you get the overly dramatic reactions like "OMG I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE" and "MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE!"

    Definitely still irritating, but it's not completely irrational. :P
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  5. Just as you've said that everyone has their own quirks, couches are a quirk of mine. I am a serious neat freak, so is it really wrong to want a clean look to the place I live in? Why should I fix this? And I really don't even think that it's too much to ask to keep my space together because, at the end of the day, I'm cleaning it. And fluffing the couches... >_> If it's someone else's place, and they could care less, I'd still be content with my one cushion but I won't be telling other people off about their sitting habits because I don't live there.

    As for luck? Ha! Not in this lifetime. There are definitely more sides to my story, I merely started with little stuff.

    Oh, that is a different case in the same scenario. I completely understand if people are in a rush, they have places to be, they're late, and all of this. No, I do not have a disability, and I did open the door myself. All I'm saying is...the man who I encountered was taking his time about walking into a Steak n' Shake. And he looked right at me. I don't knowing if it's because I nearly got a face full of door because I was right behind him that made me mad or the way he looked at me.

    No, I don't see myself as this important person who deserves their door opened and a red carpet throw out for them, but jeez. Well, at least I know now to not expect someone to be polite, right. Open my own door, gotcha'.

    I'm not going to lie to you. It did seem a lot like belittling. However, my feathers are not plucked here. I understand what you're saying, and I don't think anything that you've said is wrong because this isn't a classroom...opinions are open-ended and deserve no question of "Wrong or Right?"

    I'm glad that you find my ranting amusing. :bsmile: I kind of chuckled to myself when I said "one ass cheek" in my head.

    I understand what you're saying with the identity phase for teenagers. In my experience, I was completely content with wallflowering, so I may have had those "Who are you" moments but it wasn't as severe. However, I can see other teenagers feeling down in the dumps about it. And I understand a teenager would think this, but I hate that response "My whole life is a lie". Saying something like that really hurts for some parents. That's like saying their love for them is much less than the truth. But the real problem is that teenagers really want the truth, and the parents want to give it to them but the teenagers never really give them that solid chance in the first place. Like contradicting yourself? Ugh, trying to find the right words here. It takes a lot of silent treatment before they get to that point.

    Or...maybe I watch too much Lifetime. xD
    #5 Bahiyya, Jul 10, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2015
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  6. I'm so frustrated with this rant I don't even know how to express it through words. xD

    I agree with this, it really isn't that big a deal to hold the door open for someone if you are not in a hurry. I for one absolutely LOVE holding doors open for people. It makes me feel good about myself for like twenty minutes, so I don't understand why people dont do it.

    While I understand that it is something you personally prefer, you have to understand that even though it is your house, they are still your guests. I always thought it was silly to expect guests who have no idea how their hosts live to adhere to a personal life style like that. If it is such a big deal, then stop inviting people over. I really dislike it when people complain about their guests making a mess right after they just cleaned the entire house. It doesn't really make much sense to me logically, why clean an entire house when you know that the following day people are going to ruin it? It's a complete waste of time and energy that can be spent relaxing. The only instance where I can actually relate to this though on a personal level is when I was still in highschool. In every class I would be one of the first five people there, and I would spend my time waiting for class to start by rearranging the desks around mine. The person behind me had to be far behind me so there is enough room for me to push my chair out in a way that I preferred, plus I disliked it very much when they would slouch in their chairs and then tap their foot against my chair leg. It drove me insane! All the desks had to be aligned the "right" way or I would have troubles focusing through out the entire class. xD

    I'm not saying that you don't have the right to vent about it though, far from. I was raised to always respect the owner's "rules" so to speak because, to be quite frank, my mother is just like you. Everything has to be done her way or she gets frustrated. The floors have to be clean before she gets home, the counters, rooms, blankets, pillows. She complains when guests don't take their shoes off at the front door, or after a party when there is dirt from people waking in and out during the party. So whenever I go to a friends house I take my shoes off at the door, throw my own trash away, clean my dishes, and I've even gone so far as to cook my own food. I still think its crazy to be so stressed out over something like mess though, and it can really put a strain on relationships sometimes. For example my mom would sit all of us in the living room to watch a movie with her, and then she'd get up right in the middle to go clean something and not come back until an hour later or something. :\

    I just don't get it. xD

    Ehhh this is a common thing that a lot of people do, so once I again I don't see the point of getting worked up about it. It doesn't affect you directly. Most the people you see in bathrooms you never see again, so what's the point? I think I can understand why though. my brother forgets to wash his hands at home after using the bathroom and I think it is disgusting, mostly because he doesn't use toilet paper. I dunno, I think it's gorss to so most the time I wash my hands but there will be special occasions where I haven't. Like one time I went into the stall only to change or do things on my phone in private. I only changed clothes so I dont see any point in washing my hands. I also don't really shake hands with anyone unless it was an adult at some social gathering, in which case my hands would have been cleaned. That's my excuse though, I have no idea as to the excuses or reasonings of strangers. xD

    I only partly agree to this, but not in a way that I can explain. When it comes to matters like these, I feel like well if it gets to that point then there must be a reason as to why. In my own expeirence when I tell someone I wasn't talking to them and to mind their own business then its because I find that person to be disrespectful and rude. You also have to think about it like this. Say two people are talking on the forums, and judging by your logic anyone they don't know has the right to voice their opinion on what they are talking about it. Now think about it like this, two people are talking in a class room and a stranger they have never met comes up to them and starts voicing their opinion. It's different then isnt it? Offline, in the real world when someone puts themselves in a conversation they were not previously engaged in they are seen as obtrusive and rude. It's still a "public place" yet it is different. How is the concept any different online? What gives you the right to invade someone's conversation when it doesn't involve you?

    I can understand the youtube bit though, you come across a stupid comment and you correct them politely so they don't make a complete fool out of themselves. Then they get bitchy because you either proved them wrong which hurts their pride, or they get bitchy because they misinterpreted your comment as well as your motives. Hence why I don't read youtube commnets. besides I can't be bothered with that kind of stuff. I went for the content, not bigot or ignorant opinions and trolls. xD

    As for this I refer to Jorick's comment that so perfectly explains the psyche of a teenager, to which you have already responded to. I don't see much point in furthering that discussion.

    Then you said this and I wanted to psychically smack you upside the head. (meant to be taken lightly btw) xD

    Yeah sure, blame it on the kids. They never once gave any opportunities for their parents from the moment they adopted them to the moment it finally got out. I'm sorry if I sound harsh but that is utterly ridiculous. How a child receives and responds to anything a parent does depends on how that parent raises their children. There are four different types of parenting styles; Authoritarian, Authoritative, Passive, and Uninvolved. Each style is different than the other, and how the child behaves is a result of that parenting. It is said in my psychology lessons that children of Authoritarian parents are sheltered growing up, harshly punished, high set of standards. They would not tolerate their child refusing to speak to them as well as making a fuss. Children with these parents are more likely to act out once they go away for college. That cliche "Good girl" turning into a "party girl" situation, as well as others. Authoritative parents are more lax than Authoritarian, and work on building honesty and trust with their children. It would be unlikely for these types of parents to be incapable of telling their child is adopted because that would destroy the trust they worked so hard to build with their child. Children that are raised by these parents have the tendency to form healthy relationships and act rationally, so even if they did find out they were adopted it would be unlikely for them to be so dramatic. Passive parenting is when parents put their children on a pedestal and go out of their way to ensure that their child always gets what they want. Always in fear of upsetting the child who will cause a scene if things don't go their way. I can see here where parents wouldn't get the chance to tell their child they are adopted out of fear of the child not handling it well, which in most cases they do not. These children grow up to be unprepared for living on their own, and have troubles forming solid relationships.

    We also have to take into account how children are socially conditioned by their parents, teachers, and peers. I don't know how else to further explain that "teenagers never really give them the chance" is an untrue statement. Its best to stay away from words such as "always" and "never" in discussions, as such comments are easily dismissed and generally an over exaggeration. Again, I'm not saying you are wrong, as I state in my previous paragraph there are instances where yes a child wouldn't give their biological or respective parents time to explain themselves and act like angsty brats. Personally I find it some what annoying myself, I just like to point out the fact that not every situation is like that. In some instances it really is just the parents fault for not being honest. It also irritates me hearing adoptive parents saying "Oh we'll tell them when they are older." or "We should wait for the right moment or time." as waiting for them to be teenagers is a terrible idea; as an example going back to Jorick's "teens angsty mission to find themselves". Children can have the capacity to understand and handle concepts a lot better than teenagers. It is easier to learn another language as a child, it is easier to learn in generally as a child (are you smarter than a fifth grader? tv show comes to mind.). The other day my brother and sister (who are nine and seven) have a really mature discussion at dinner while I was baby sitting them. My sister was talking about how our parents should just "buy" or "replace" something she wanted, and my brother responded back with "How do you think they could do that? We are poor."

    While I honestly cannot stand to be around children, their ability to adapt and learn simply astounds me. Anyways, I personally believe that telling your child around eight years that they are adopted is better than when they are teenagers. xD

    100% agree. Though I don't think I have any personal instances with this. Maybe people taking advantage of my kindness was a thing. I remember in elementary school I would sit next to this african american girl who would always ask me for my brownie. Personally I never really cared, sometimes I would give her half or I would give it all to her. I think there was this one time where someone asked me why, or picked at me for it. Not sure if it was another student, or a teacher, or a parent. The girl never really seemed to have had much to eat anyways, who knows what her situation was like back at home. If she ever got breakfast or dinner...or just enough food in general. :\
  7. As, I've said, this is a quirk of mine. It isn't as if I enjoy the quirk all that much, not at all actually. I can do very well without the annoyance, but it seemed to stick with me. My mother was a neat freak as well (not to mention an interior designer at heart, so there's that factor), and she would always have me flip the cushions and fluff the pillows. Don't blame me, blame her. She's turned me into a monster. I am her Frankenstein. It annoyed me when she made me do it, so I can see how other people would feel. However, it's like an involuntary twitch of the eye. And I actually like to vacuum. O_o It has always interested me how one minute, there's a chip on the floor, and next minute a magic machine makes it disappear so things like stuff on the floor don't bother me as much as the couch seems to. *childish giggle*

    To me, cleaning my place is no waste of time. Why would I invite people over to an unclean house? Your question is just as valid as mine, two different opinions. Cleaning can be calming to me most of the time, so I don't complain that much. The couch thing just gets to me for the reason I've stated already.

    I, too, am a person who hates when people uses the basket under the desk as a foot rest. It annoys me. And I was once in a classroom where all the desks were directly pushed together in rows, so there was no possible way to move your desk because of the desk legs.

    Twitching eye!

    I had a feeling that I did not phrase this in the best way. I was struggling to find my words. Oh, sure blame it on the kids? Never would I think that all the blame would be on them. I said in my first post that the parents should have told them earlier. I completely with you about the "right moment" crap. It's total bullshit. There never is going to be a "right moment" to tell someone they're adopted. It sucks, and I feel for teenagers on that. However, I hate the dramatics, hate the waiting, hate the silence. Now that the parents waited so long, it's too late to get that time back. Now is the time to get the desired answers. But that is the best idea, telling the child early, I think. Sometimes, it's just too late for that, because of the parents of course. None of this to say that the teenager doesn't deserve to be mad. But you can still be mad and get the answers that you want at the same time.

    By the way, I like your avatar. :bsmile:
    #7 Bahiyya, Jul 11, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2015
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  8. Oh yes! I actually like washing the dishes by hand. I dunno what it is but it's kind of relaxing so I understand. I understand not wanting to invite guests over to an unclean house, but I don't think you have to clean like the entire house for it. Maybe just the down stairs floors and counters. xD

    Omg I would hate that class room. I would have gone insane. At that point I would still rearrange the chairs, I'd give no fucks what the teacher would say coming into a completely rearranged room. I hate the basket under the desk in general, I barely even used it. x-x

    Yeah I understand, I hate the dramatics as well. I've had my fair share of drama queens in middle or highschool. Kind of fed up with it. xD

    And thank you! I made it myself.....I didn't really do much for it though. The ones my friend Gladis makes are much better. ^^
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