LESSON Overused Words

[Diana]

WRITING EXERCISE: OVERUSED WORDS
Recognizing and avoiding being repetitive in your roleplay posts.
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Take a look at some of your roleplay posts. Do you see any words in there that you seem to use ALL the time? Repeatedly? Often a couple times in the same post? And I'm not talking about the common words like "the" and "and". Descriptive words! Said. Awesome. Good. Nice. Mad. Engorged. ...You get what I'm saying, right? ;)


Sometimes our writing gets repetitive. This is especially true for a roleplayer who might be playing a similar character or scene out across multiple roleplays. How do you keep your posts FRESH? Interesting? Unique?

With a varied vocabulary! Replace a common word you use with a different word. Changing that one word can add a whole different sort of atmosphere and interest to your post. Adding additional words can make it even BETTER.

FOR EXAMPLE:

The food tasted good.

The food tasted amazing.

The food tasted incredible.

The food tasted like a soggy wet box with salt dumped on it.

The food tasted like a sweet and spicy mix of heaven.

As you can see, changing one word changed the meaning of the sentence. The addition of more description gave it even more depth.

YOUR EXERCISE

PART ONE: Take one (or more) of YOUR larger sized roleplay posts. Scan the sentences for words that you have a repeat problem of over using. (For example, I tend to use "as" too much.) Change the words or structure of the sentences so you are not using the same descriptive word more than once.

PART TWO: Read the paragraph below. Rewrite this paragraph using more interesting words and sentences! Do not use any of the descriptive words that are already in the paragraph. You can make this scene as long or as short as you want, just make sure not to repeat yourself!

He walked in to the dark room. On the table was a brown leather bound book. He picked it up and began to read. Inside were beautiful pictures. More colorful images filled his vision with each turn of the page. His mind was consumed by the enchanting words. He dropped the book to the floor and fled from the room. The sound of chilling laughter followed him.

 

[Tryston009]

Re: Writing Exercise: Overused Words

Here is my attempt at this exercise ^_^

With a loud creak, the solid oak door swung inward, revealing the abyssal darkness of the room beyond. Tryston raised his lantern, the feeble light barely illuminating the area around him. With practiced, careful steps, he cautiously inched through the doorway, senses heightened in the closeness of the air – breath soft, ears alert to any sound, eyes wide attempting to pierce the night in front of him, vainly trying to discern any shape in the black morass. As he stepped fully across the threshold, the lamplight caught the edge of a dust-covered table. As Tryston moved closer, he noticed a large leather-bound tome resting on the partially decaying stand. Although the cover was as dusty as the surface it rested on, a swift golden gleam caught his eye as he set moved his lantern. Tryston carefully and softly blew the thick dust off the voluminous book, revealing an intricately detailed symbol. Curiosity bloomed in his mind as he quietly unlatched the ornate metal clasp keeping the pages sealed shut. Holding his breath, Tryston listened intently for any ominous sounds, peering around him carefully. Confident that he was completely alone, he slowly pulled open the thick, cracked leather cover revealing the secrets within. Tryston let out an audible gasp and then quickly covered his mouth, internally swearing at his careless noise. When no other sound reached his senses, he turned his attention back to the page opened. A beautiful picture like no other filled his vision, seeming to glow and ripple with life on the parchment. Amazing calligraphy in a language Tryston could not understand covered the space beneath the drawing, but it seemed as if the words were flowing into his mind. Carefully he slipped his finger under the paper, flipping it over to reveal another haunting image. More of the strange text filled his consciousness, giving him an overwhelming urge to continue looking through the tome. Suddenly, a sense of dread filled Tryston's brain, the life-like image turning ghastly, horrifying. Entranced by the language rippling through his mind, he could not avert his gaze. Tryston began to shake as the dark magic tried to overcome him. With a terrified shout, he shoved the magical book away from him, causing it to slide off the far edge of the table, hitting the cold stone floor with a thud. As a consequence of his sudden movement, the lantern tipped over, rolling off the surface and shattering, shrouding the room in darkness. A maniacal, evil cackle filled the room and followed Tryston as he scrambled blindly, finally finding the doorway to escape the horror.

 

[Jukujin]

Re: Writing Exercise: Overused Words

Taking hold of the knob upon the door, turning it slowly to open the way into the sea of black. Instinctively, the normal person would search for a nearby switch to guide the way...Not Juku though, he was very stubborn and decided the best way to traverse the unknown was to keep going until he collided with an object. Luckily, the light from his entrance gave him just enough so he could press on. Juku's eyes caught hold of what looked to be an aged table in a foot's range of him. What was resting atop appeared to be a beaten calf-hide codex from first glance, but upon further inspection was an album of images. Not even the slightest ounce of hesitation struck Juku, as he yanked the cover out of the way, glaring at the first set of pictures he saw ushering him to continue reading. With each passing page, word he eyed over, and every passing second, Juku felt ripped from reality, problems, and most importantly life while gazing at the drawings. The letters reforming into Juku's thoughts started to dance around, making it seem like a paradise...or was it? WHAM! Went the book from Juku's warm, moist hands to the chilling cold floor. Juku remained standing still, an unwelcoming twitch coming from under his pupil, tagged along by the most frightening of grins. His body was convulsing causing Juku to softly emit a chuckle which developed into a standard laugh, almost instantly filling the room with nothing but spine tingling mirth. The crooked steps he left behind were much more easing than the merriment Juku left sealing the door shut.

 

[Daniella_Belli]

Re: Writing Exercise: Overused Words

The man ambulated unsteadily into the aphotic room. The gloomy atmosphere further cast him into a feeling of despair, the stygian wisps conjured from the abyssal ambiance coiled about him, paralyzing him with fear. Siphoning courage from experiences of old, he was freed from the shackles of immobility, and had begun a blind approach for what he assumed to be the exit, as the sheer darkness of the small cubicle had disoriented him from reaching the doorway he had arrived.

Suddenly a moment of intense pain shot up his legs as he crashed into something unyielding, his hands shooting outward to feel what had blockaded him from venturing further. It sounded wooden, as his raps upon it echoed into the void. A closer inspection with light, sliding motions of his fingertips would result in a splinter entering his the soft flesh of a withered phalange, one of which were to be his eyes whilst he was in total obscurity.

The affliction caused him to bite back a yelp, but he continued in a more cautious manner, until he felt something which had resembled leather. Taking it in hand, he noticed that the object had some weight to it, his fingers roaming across binding and what felt like intricate lettering. Individual details slowly came into view as the space he occupied became illuminated, the item he held was bathed in dim light. The poor, captive soul squinted to see the book, and observed a large amount of splattering upon the cover. It reminded him of blood.

Perhaps it was a journal, and if he read its entries...he could find his way out of this hell! A bright light conquered the dusk, much like the sunlight would to announce dawn. Shadows retreated to the furthest corners of area, and he had begun to read, entranced by the myriads of vibrant hues of strange illustrations. With each turn of the pristine pages, his mind was lost to the the words, as each syllable seemed to beckon to him.

The enfeebled gentleman started parroting the verses, wrinkled lips moving in unison to a parched tongue, vocal chords adding voice and rhythm to the language printed upon paper. It was Spellcraft! His mouth fell open in surprise, exposing rotting teeth. The book fell from his trembling paw, and despite his disabilities, his swift footfalls carried him through the doorless portal.

Terrible cacchinations followed in tow, raising the hairs on his neck, filling his ears. "Your soul is mine." Croaked a wizened voice, and the man fell hard upon a knee. "Your name, it is written upon the pages, your life essence is trapped within my volume! You have given life to my cronicles, and forever I shall be remembered. This tome will be passed down through the ages, but with each year it is in circulation, it needs a human sacrifice. Blood must be spilled, you see. Being an author is a cutthroat business. Lots of folks try to make it, most will fail."

 

[AtomicAtom]

Re: Writing Exercise: Overused Words

The room was dark, the fire in the grate barely illuminating it enough for him to see a brown leather book resting upon the oak table. Walking to it he opened the book and found himself drawn in by the colorful images and the enchanting words. The magic reached out, drawing in his mind and threatening to overtake it. With a sudden movement he dropped the book, his hands shaking as he started to back away. Chilling laughter erupted from some unknown source and followed him, echoing down the hall as he fled.