Out of Context Quotes

[Thornapple]

I was just thinking earlier today about all of the strange things I usually happen to overhear throughout the day, and was wondering if anyone else could recall the strange out of context quotes you might come across.

Heres a couple I heard today:

"Im really brown on the inside".

"If I were gay id probably have pink eye all the time". I am scared of the implications of this quote.

 

[Kagayours]

"I just want to hold a puppy up against my face."

"I just don't understand. Even if I live to be 99, I still won't understand." (This one I heard from inside a bathroom stall. I'm assuming they were on the phone.)

"No you don't understand. It wasn't just a coat, it was a PEACOAT." (This one I heard late at night through my dorm room walls when my neighbors were being loud. I then sarcastically whispered in response "oh, wow, a peacoat". And now it's an inside joke between my roommate and I.)

 

[Arcadia]

"My stripper name would be Golden Nuggets."

"I bet she likes fibre."

"Fill them with werrells."

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

"I think we're all porked out." I was talking about making pulled pork way too frequently in my house. My husband's friend took it a whole different way. =/

 

[Rithas]

"IT'S GONNA GO STRAIGHT TO MY BUTTHOLE! STRAIGHT TO MY BUTTHOLE" My friend was talking about a very spicy spice bag.

 

[Razilin]

"She has a rash. She's high risk."

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

[spoili]"The universe is a little bit like... a new woman, that I was gonna date. You're dark, and you're massive, and you have a black hole,[/spoili] and all those elements I wanna explore, just like you would explore on a first date. You just wanna... dive deep into them, and feel around, and see what's gonna come out of that."

 

[Yatagarasu]

All from the same person:

"I'd chop my own leg off to replace it with stringy cheese that I can mould into a squid."

"I was asking the train system if it was legal to throw up on the train."

"Does that mean your genitals are like play dough and you can turn them into whatever you want"

Now from different people:

"You must put as many eyeballs as you can in each socket."

"The test will be long and it will get harder and harder. It will last two hours but there's no guarantee that you will finish."

"Hitler was a lovely man and I have taken some of my ideologies from him"

 

[Cerulean]

I can't remember exactly what I said but it was along the lines of....

"I should probably darken this shark's crotch."

It was shading for an illustration.

 

[Minibit]

I was walking across campus the other day and this grou pwas walking in the other direction so we passed each other

as we passed each other I heard the fellow who was talking say

"...and that's the story of how I banged my sunday school teacher!"

/thread

 

[Mu]

From yours truly.

"I TAKE PLEASURE IN RUINING YOUR CREATIONS"

"but i love him so much I decided to give him some more flesh"

"im not tall enuf and i don't have a blonde guy to mess around with, soz"

 

[Diana]

I'm not going to explain this one.


"and I dun just Mean cooter candy, I want coffee toffees too. >:["

 

[Brovo]

"I love children's clothes."
"It's simple! We eliminate the poor with foundries..."
"I hate big words."

And, now, just for some extra fun...

I couldn't deal with someone religious

I'm dyslexic and it's really hard to read!

But I can't because I am a tree.

I insert soy sauce.

I'm really hoping my poor mustache girl finally goes into labor.

Ferret stole shiny quotes, ferret put them in a pile, now ferret runs off.

 

[Arcadia]

"Fawksie is Iwaku Madonna, adopting all the kids!"

 

[Ser K+]

"Try jiggling it."

"Dude, I got owned."

"Drip. Drip."

"Yeah, I kind of knew I couldn't fit. I still had to try though."

"Dialogue."

"Hey, Milk Toast." (A play on words.)

"That's actually not funny, mate. They're hung."

"This thing isn't black enough."

 

[Dusk]

"You and your stick man. It's like it is fucking alive"

 

[Boba Fit]

"Curiosity killed the cat."

That isn't even the while quote, let alone the right quote.

"Care killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back." Is the whole quote and proper quote.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

These two are from yours truly, and I will not put any of them in context.

• I've dominated Rupert!
• Have you ever tried peeing with a Penis before?

One I made that I'd assume was obvious, but people got the wrong idea:

"You hear about that one guy who killed himself over a black guy being in star wars? It's stupid"

Suspected Implication: Suicide dude is an idiot.
Received Implication: Black characters are stupid.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Yes I know that story ended up being false, I learned it just about the hour after said incident happened)

Then one from my friend.

"I wanted to see the fishes get high!"

 

[Kagayours]

Here are a few that I've heard from my professors and classmates during some of my classes earlier this semester:

"So if you're lost in the woods, and you need to predict iPhone sales..."

"But it's not a spaghetti monster with meatballs, it's a spaghetti monster that exists."

"I just don't understand how being invisible helped him have sex with the Queen."

 

[Razilin]

"I just don't understand how being invisible helped him have sex with the Queen."

HOW IS THAT A DIFFICULT THING TO UNDERSTAND?

Its surprise buttsecks!